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post #81 of 91
Eh, people are odd about the gender thing. I'm expecting my first, so you wouldn't automatically assume I wanted one or the other by virtue of having "one of each" or "some of each" but people still ask all the time, boy or girl, of course, to which I reply, I don't know, I'll find out in February! And then they never fail to ask, so which do you WANT? I suppose some people really do root for one or the other, with a first or a subsequent child, but honestly, if gender was that important to me, I probably would have gotten the gender ultrasound don't you think? I never know what to say, it's like they are asking an either/or question and the answer is neither.. or either one really!

Sorry you've had to put up with such comments.. people can be really ignorant..
post #82 of 91
My stock response for "Do you know what it is?/What are you hoping for?" is
"Well, I'm hoping for a baby, cuz the last one was a zebra, and the hooves tore the #$%# out of my vagina!"
post #83 of 91
Honestly, when we were first trying for DS, I not so secretly wanted a girl. Not because I didn't want a boy, but simply because I want a daughter at some point. At the ultrasounds, when we saw he was a boy, it took me all of about two seconds to get used to the idea. I absolutely adore DS and wouldn't change anything about him for the world. I still would like a daughter at some point, though.

The "matched set" kind of amuses me. I have a brother almost exactly two years older than me so we got that "perfect family" thing a lot. Of course the people making comments like that didn't know about my oldest brother who died at 9 yrs.
post #84 of 91
We had hoped at first that we would have a girl, and I admit to being kind of disappointed when I found out DS1 was a boy, but I certainly never dwelled on it. I accepted it and I was excited to be having a healthy baby. DS2 was a total surprise and a wonderful blessing because our oldest would have a brother to grow up with, and now they are best friends and totally inseparable. When we were TTC #3, we were again hoping for a girl, and we got her But to be honest, if she had been a boy, we'd probably "try again" for our little girl. Sometimes I feel bad now knowing that DD won't likely have a sister unless by some miracle DH's vasectomy fails (he's already tested sterile) or we adopt a girl. But we are very happy with our family and wouldn't change the gender of any of our kids for anything.
post #85 of 91
My longtime girlfriend was pg w #3 after 2 boys. I knew she had wanted a girl w/ #1 and w/ #2 - even though she loves her boys. (She had been saving her favorite girly things for eons to give to her baby girl.) When she called me on the phone after her US to tell me (in a rather disappointed voice) that it would be, "my three sons" I replied with a very enthusiastic, "CONGRATULATIONS" and a more moderate, "... and I'm sorry, I know you were hoping for a girl. How are you feeling?"

That having been said, I'd never say anything like that in front of kids, or to someone I didn't know really, really, really well. I have 2 - 1 of each, and I get the "now you can be done" comment all the time and it irritates me. I want more and DH doesn't. If that comes up in public, people will actually say they could understand my wanting another if I had 2 of the same sex, but since I have one of each... well, what's the point? OI VEY!
post #86 of 91
Thread Starter 
Thanks for all the replies, everyone.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmmsunshine View Post
My longtime girlfriend was pg w #3 after 2 boys. I knew she had wanted a girl w/ #1 and w/ #2 - even though she loves her boys. (She had been saving her favorite girly things for eons to give to her baby girl.) When she called me on the phone after her US to tell me (in a rather disappointed voice) that it would be, "my three sons" I replied with a very enthusiastic, "CONGRATULATIONS" and a more moderate, "... and I'm sorry, I know you were hoping for a girl. How are you feeling?"
This is a much more considerate response. I'm not saying it's wrong to hope for one gender or another, or even to hope for the experience of raising each gender- that's normal. My post was more in regards to commenting in front of my DDs in a way that (to ME) sounded chauvinistic and rude. Interesting that people have different takes on it, and a lot might depend on your own family situation/make-up. All the more reason to carefully word your comments to ppl, kwim?
post #87 of 91
Everyone seems to have an opinion on what the perfect family is. And it usually isn't the one you actually have!
I remember being in a restaurant with DH and my boys, DS2 was just a week old. The hostess said something like "Aw that's too bad it's another boy. No girls for you!" I was hormonal enough to tell her what I thought of that, that I'd be happy with 5 boys, and who said we were not going to have any more? She backpeddaled by saying something about "well I guess if you're a good parent" and then said something about kids being so expensive. DH retorted that they are the best investment you can make.


But on a positive note, some older gentleman stopped me in the grocery store one day and said I had the million dollar family. I looked at him quizzically because generally that means one of each but he stated again that it's the million dollar family to have two boys. He had two boys and thought it was perfect
post #88 of 91


I like that response.
post #89 of 91
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Little grey mare View Post
But on a positive note, some older gentleman stopped me in the grocery store one day and said I had the million dollar family. I looked at him quizzically because generally that means one of each but he stated again that it's the million dollar family to have two boys. He had two boys and thought it was perfect
That's a perfect story!
post #90 of 91
I'm pregnant with our 5th dc.... 4th in a row boy, our only dd is the oldest. I ALWAYS get the "trying for another girl" since pregnant with our second ds
post #91 of 91
I'm expecting baby #2, another girl, and she will be our last - partially because we feel 2 is right for us, and partially because of my age (I'm 41.)

I get so many comments about how it's too bad we're not having a boy, and of course we'll HAVE to try again for a boy, but I was quite happy to hear we were having another girl. My dh was too. I'm sure if we were having a boy we'd be happy with that too, but we were both immediately happy when we heard she was a girl. Dh gets more of it than I do - people say, "Don't you want a boy to work on projects with you" etc. And he'll say that having a boy doesn't guarantee that, and there's no reason to assume a girl wouldn't like to work with tools.

Anyway, yes it's annoying, and worse so that people are saying it in front of your dds. They don't need to hear that.
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