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Discipline Articles

Discipline is a topic on Mothering.

"We're Going To Leave Now, Okay?"

Many parents with young children tack on “Okay?” at the end of their sentences, turning what is intended as a statement of fact, “We need to leave the park now,” into a question, “We need to leave the park now, okay?” Adding this question to the end of the statement presumedly creates a dialogue about the leaving. The problem is the parent often didn’t intend to discuss whether or not leaving was to the child’s liking. The “okay?” is a set up because it implies that the child has a voice in the decision but resistance from the child (“I don’t... read more

Turning a Tantrum Around with Pure Empathy

By Jessica Williams www.LoveParentingLA.com I picked my newly five-year old son up from his first day of summer camp and the longest school/camp day he’d ever had. As he got into the car, he looked for the snack bag that he had left in the car. I had removed the bag from the hot car so as not to spoil. I offered him an apple or crackers instead. He burst into tears. He threw himself onto the floor of our car, cried, screamed and hit his fists. He was beside himself with upset and fury that his snack bag was missing. My other two children... read more

Toy Grabbing- An Empathetic Approach to Sibling Quarrels

Illustration by Etsy seller: dertigdecember Read your post from this morning and have a question for you regarding how you handle the sibling rivalry that you were describing.  My kids, 4.5 years and 1.5 years, pretty much fight all day long.  It’s really frustrating.  Basically every single situation plays itself out like this: Ella grabs toy from baby, baby screams bloody murder, I yell at Ella and demand that she gives it back, she cries hysterically and insists that SHE was playing with that toy (or was about to).  I’ve... read more

Smacking Hurts

I saw a mother smacking her 2 year old on the bottom when he ran near the road yesterday.  It made me wince then it made me sad.  Where is the sense in hurting a child to stop them hurting themselves?  There is always another way to keep them safe.  Although smacking has been proven to be an ineffective form of discipline, many of us still believe smacking, or spanking, is a necessary evil. Why, in our modern world full of human rights, is it deemed unacceptable to do to an adult, but not a child? A 200lb man can smack a small child as often as they like as long... read more

Why i think time-out is just as damaging as spanking

Even those of us who are against smacking will routinely use other discipline techniques to control and mould our children’s behaviour from a very early age. Below is a list of non-physical discipline measures in common use today that come highly recommended by ‘experts’, and a description of what is really going on psychologically for the child. Time-out – Removing a child from a situation for inappropriate behaviour for a set number of minutes. Often an apology is required before the time-out can end. When our children behave ‘badly’ they are either... read more

5 Out-of-the-Box Ways to Make Your Child..."LISTEN!!"

One of the most frequent questions I get is, How do I get my child to listen to me? What lingers in the roots just beneath this question is, How do I get her to respect me? The two are intimately entwined. As so often happens with Life’s sticky questions, sometimes we can unstick things a bit by turning the question around: rather than How can I get my child to listen to me, we can get far more traction with How can I make myself more “listenable”? The fact is, you can never “make” your child do or be anything! Oh sure, we’re lulled into the comforting... read more

AuthoritATIVE parenting, not AuthoritARIAN Parenting

I talk a lot in my lectures and coaching sessions about the child’s need for our calm, loving authority as parents. Let me clarify loud and clear that I mean authoritative parenting, not authoritarian parenting! In the authoritarian style of parenting, children’s unquestioning obedience is the goal — a short-sighted approach on every level, including optimally healthy development of the child’s social brain, which is the polestar of parenting for peace. Authoritative parenting takes a longer view and is marked by the parents’ decisive yet respectful... read more

Taming the Dragon ~ Finding Influence with our Kids Through Attachment and Self-Love

By Katharina Sandizell   Have you ever told your child the same thing again and again, but haven’t been able to get him or her to stop hitting a sibling, shouting at you, or ignoring your requests?  Do you sometimes wish your child would listen or be more respectful?  Do you ever wonder if and when the tantrums will stop? Well, I think most parents face these and many more challenges with their kids.  Often parents can feel helpless and alone when it comes to handling and correcting their children’s behavior.  Many people may not... read more

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