Wikis tagged with Ages-and-Stages

By Colleen Lowe Smith   Things are changing.   Cassidy is not yet two and a half yet and I knew this time would come.  It started the other afternoon when I woke her up from her nap.  I didn’t want her to stay up late, and it had already been two hours.   It could have been a growth spurt, needing that extra sleep, who knows.  I should have let her stay in bed.  Instead she roused in protest, wailing, and was inconsolable for the next 45 minutes.  She ran away from me, hiding under chairs and tables, delirious and crying, “Go away, Mommy!”     Go Away Mommy.  I knew this would...

I spent the majority of the pregnancy with my first child in a state of complete stress.  I went the OB/hospital route, and I viewed everything that my doctor said as the Written Word.    It was at the height of the H1N1 outbreak, and I agreed and received the vaccine.  I didn’t know.  I had every test and genetic screening performed.  I ended up with a positive screen for Down’s Syndrome.  I didn’t know.  I feared the pain of labor and birth and decided when I first discovered I was pregnant that I would be getting an epidural.  I didn’t know.  I trusted a male surgeon to deliver my...

By Colleen Lowe Smith   Cassidy fell in love today.  At two and half, it’s hardly her first time, but after meeting and playing with a new friend, on the way back to the car from the park, I witnessed the moment that her three year old beau held his hand out to her, unprompted, as an invitation.  She giggled and beamed and reached for his hand.  They looked in each other’s eyes and smiled so hard I thought their faces would break.     It is so simple for a two and a half year old.  They hardly even spoke.  They just chased each other around a bench for awhile and then down the slide,...

A mother wrote in to Mothering.com’s Ask An Expert with an 16-month old son who is biting her, screaming, not listening, hitting, and intimidating his cousin.  My reply: Baby Mine Letter: I certainly understand the frustration you are experiencing with some of you son’s recent behaviors. Emerging from a blissed-out infant stage into an unruly toddler stage can be downright shocking, especially, for an attachment-parenting momma. The first L.O.V.E. Parenting exercise I would recommend is to write a letter to “Baby X.” Write about your experience with him in the first year, detailing...

By Brian Leaf     One day last winter, my family went out to the Lone Wolf café in Amherst, Massachusetts for breakfast. Noah, age six, loves the waffles, and I love the Lox ‘n Latkes Benedict. After breakfast we were to drive to the Amherst Indoor Farmer’s Market to shop and meet some friends. We finished breakfast, walked to the car, and got in, but Benji would not sit in his car seat. Benji is two.             To drive like this, with Benji not strapped in, is, of course, illegal and unsafe. So Gwen and I couldn’t give in on this one. We had to get him buckled in.            ...

  Before I was even pregnant, years before really, I began to develop some beliefs about what parenting was going to be like. I felt strongly (and still do) about the value and importance of toys without lights and whistles and ones that don't do all of the playing for a child. I felt passionately certain that I would have the most amazing breast feeding experiences of anyone, ever. I believed that cloth diapers would rock my world and that my precious little son or daughter would never watch television and instead we would frolic happily through the yard; gardening, playing, running,...

One of my daughter’s favorite books is Guess How Much I Love You, by Sam McBratney. She loves playing along with little Nutbrown Hare as he stretches his arms out wide and proclaims his love for big Nutbrown Hare. It’s such a sweet story, and those last two pages are the best: “I love you right up to the moon – and back.” Recently, she’s learned how to sign I LOVE… ”Mama”, “Dada” or whomever it is that she’s expressing her affection for. It’s the sweetest thing to not only hear, but to see her sign the sentiment. And following the lead of little Nutbrown Hare, she’s begun stretching...

Last week, I talked about the approach of attachment parenting, as defined by Dr. William Sears, and the beginnings of this bond in the hours immediately after birth.  Let me just reiterate Dr. Sears’ definition here: Above all, attachment parenting means opening your mind and heart to the individual needs of your baby and letting your knowledge of your child be your guide to making on the spot decisions about what works best for both of you.  In a nutshell, AP is learning to read the cues of your baby and responding appropriately to those cues. (The Attachment Parenting Book,...

Girls Hi Friends, A mother wrote into Mothering.com’s Ask An Expert about losing her patience by the day’s end and struggling to tend to both children’s needs. Here is the answer: * My godmother loves to tell me the story about her mother, walking down the sidewalk with her three children under six-years old who were pulling on her, whining, competing with each other, tired, and hungry and as she passed an elderly lady sitting on her porch the neighbor called, “these are the best days of your life.” I have so much compassion for the situations in your post. Young children...

My daughter, Lucy, is almost three years old, and has Rett Syndrome. It is a debilitating condition that has robbed her of speech, the ability to walk, control her hands, and talk. This makes it difficult to figure out how to let her explore the world as every other child does. When I was a little girl, I spent most of my time outside, playing with my cousins. We did all of the things little kids do: rode bikes, caught tadpoles, made forts, pretended we were getting married with bouquets of ferns, played in the mud and in brush piles, rode four-wheelers, swam...you get the point. We lived...

 Did you know the majority of parents are using their carseats incorrectly?  Did you know car accidents are a top cause of death in children?  Did you know the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends parents keep their child’s carseat rear-facing for at least 2 years? I didn’t know most of this info when I first had my son, but I have learned a lot since then, so I’ve compiled some general information here.  All pictures are used with permission, & please follow the purple links for further information! My son, 3, riding happily with his 2-year-old friend.   Not all carseats...

If you are spending prolonged time with your toddler, chances are you have to tend to some other obligations during your time together. Here are three tips for getting ANYTHING done with your toddler in the mix… a) Set your child up with a “work-station” to engage in the same activity that you are tending to: pen/paper, flour/measuring cup, rake/leaves, etc., depending on your project. b) Set your child up with a “play-station” near you with her own activities while you continue your task: a blanket with soft toys, a safe mirror, healthy snack, musical instrument, books,...

By Julie Shaffer   Quite a few years ago I worked as a program manager for a "Home and Community Habilitation" program for adults with developmental disabilities. One day I discovered that one of the employees I was in charge of was billing for times he had not actually been with the client and I had to fire him. The owner of the company joined me during the meeting with the employee and supported me as I confronted him and let him go. Afterward, as I cried a little bit, I told the owner that this job of being a program manager was just not for me and I wanted to go back to being a TSS....

Thinking, feeling our way through motherhood.   By V.K. Harber   Hey, remember when you were growing up and you swore up and down that when you had children of your own you would never ever in a million years do that thing that your mother did? Yeah, me too. Yet, here I am, mother of my very own living breathing challenging toddler and I have, on more than one occasion, heard the very same words that used to issue forth from my mother’s mouth, pouring out over my own lips.   Sometimes, whatever comes out is the right thing for the circumstances. (Thanks, mom!) Sometimes it is most...

Some days it's hard to be three! My client’s husband was out of town and her friend, Marie, offered to come by with dinner to hang out. Their plans were thwarted by an unruly three-year old with a different agenda. As Marie left, my client felt embarrassment and shame threaten to overtake her. L.O.V.E. Parenting takes out the toolkit and offers: 1. Was it a good plan: Having the girlfriend arrive at 6:30pm to socialize with the mom when her husband was out of town and she has a 3-year old and a 6-month old? Set yourself up for success. Perhaps, having the plan be a late...

“Want to take a bath?” I suggested to the baby, who’s 16 months old now. She rushed into the bathroom shrugging out of one sleeve of her red shirt. “Psss! Psss!” The baby said a few minutes later, submerging a bowl to fill it with bath water. “Psss” is the noise the baby makes when she has a wet diaper or needs to go pee. But she sometimes cries wolf, signaling she needs to go but refusing to pause in her play long enough to use the potty. Plus, I was busy writing in our family journal. When I finally looked up, Leone was still saying, “psss,” almost singing the sound with good humor as she...

By Colleen Lowe Smith   I’d made the mistake of practically bragging to a friend how Cassidy had never been sick before and that she’s “such a healthy kid.”  Naturally, two days later she was feverish after napping twice the time that she usually naps.  The day after that, still peaking temperatures at 103, I took her to the doctor just in case.  Not much they could do, viral, rest and fluids blah blah blah, come back if she wasn’t better in a few days. Which she wasn’t.   Saturday her breathing was visibly short, and she was still feverish when the tylenol wore off.  “Call the...

                      “Tantrums” are normal reactions from kids that almost every parent deals with at some point.  They can be frustrating and scary for us, particularly if we do not have the tools to guide our children through them in a healthy way.  Understanding where they come from can be endlessly helpful.  Tantrums are urgent, overwhelming panic responses in a child’s brain.   The valuable and insightful book The Science of Parenting: How today’s brain research can help you raise happy, emotionally balanced children by Margot Sunderland states, “A distress tantrum means that...

A coach helps by holding a vision of success when you, for whatever reason, cannot. A coach sees the powers inside you and guides their unfolding. In singing, soccer, life in general -- and in parenting.   A coach helps by seeing the desired result, knowing the steps for getting you there, and patiently reminding you of those steps. A coach helps as you take those steps, which may feel awkward or unnatural at first. A coach patiently encourages you along what can feel like an interminably long road, sometimes to what feels like an unreachable mountaintop, even when (especially when)...