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Excerpts from "The Men They Will Become: Strengthening
The Character of Boys"
By Dr. Eli H. Newberger
Web Exclusive
Dr. Newberger on Honesty:
"Honesty is a complex and subtle subject, not so much an end in itself
as a means of being responsible and respectful to the needs of others and
of oneself. When honesty is at issue, there is usually something about the
situation that makes being honest an act of courage. It isn't easy to be
honest. Often the easy way is some version of dishonesty, which is why the
dishonest way is so frequently taken.
"Honesty is a principal ingredient in any establishment of trust.
One person can't trust another deeply without believing that the interaction
between them will be carried on at a high level of honesty. Trustful relations
can bear the occasional white lie to be sensitive to the feelings of others,
but not habitual dishonesty. Beyond the damage it does in specific situations,
the reason we all are anxious about dishonesty is that it erodes trust.
What misrepresentation of the truth will the person who is known to have
been dishonest next put forth? When? For what motive?"
Dr. Newberger on Cheating:
"The great leap in trust possible in adolescence or later adulthood
is for an individual to become trustworthy individually - even when it is
not reciprocated. Trust has to be reciprocal in infancy or the infant develops
basic mistrust. In childhood, trust is still basically reciprocal in the
service of many ends of varying value. But an individual can decide to strive
for general trustworthiness. Such an individual would choose not to cheat
in financial matters, taxes, or professional responsibilities because he
couldn't do so without breaking trust with someone, maybe someone he doesn't
even know.
"I believe males get to this highest level of trustworthiness only when they are inspired to it by encountering someone who embodies it. It is a level of character that is much more effectively caught than taught."
Read more excperpts from Dr. Newbergers book here:
www.elinewberger.com/words.html
Buy the Book today at Powell's.com:
CLICK HERE
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