Co-sleeping After Using a Crib

Naomi Aldort

Dear Naomi, I love your approach to parenting and would very much like to hear your thoughts on this issue. Although I prepared for a natural birth and have a doctor who is extremely supportive of natural birth, I ended up having a c-section. The recovery was difficult for me. I wanted to cosleep with my baby, but I did not feel safe doing it because I was so exhausted, in pain, etc. It was hard even to turn over in bed. So my mother took care of him at night and brought him to me whenever he woke up and wanted to nurse. When he was six weeks old, he started sleeping about 7 hours a night. He is now almost 7 months old and goes to bed at about 6:45 p.m. and sleeps til about 6:30 a.m. I always nurse him before bedtime and when he first wakes up in the morning. He seems to be happy sleeping in his crib. In fact, he even seems to enjoy being put down in his crib--he crawls and wriggles and rolls around til he's perfectly comfortable. I wish I had been able to cosleep with him but I just wasn't. When I read your articles about babies being unnaturally separated from their mother's arms it breaks my heart. Is my baby deprived? Should I switch to co-sleeping now? How do parents cosleep if their babies go to bed at 6:30 p.m.? Do they also go to bed at 6:30 p.m. or do they lie down with their babies until the babies fall asleep on their own and then get up and do things? I do not even eat dinner until after my baby is asleep. I am concerned if I tried to switch to cosleeping now my baby would have a hard time going to sleep because he would think it's playtime. I would very much appreciate your thoughts. Sincerely, Emily

Dear Emily,

It is never too late to sleep with your baby, and your baby is extremely young, so it is actually very early. Why miss years of such healthy connection at night, because of just a few weeks?

When the baby falls asleep early in the evening, she does not have to be in bed; she can stay in a snugly on your body. In natural societies the baby is carried on the mother’s body and sleeps on and off naturally. When mother goes to sleep, her baby is with her. In the west we invented the concept of “putting” the baby or child to bed. This is not necessary.

Sleeping twelve hours without breastfeeding is not natural. If your baby sleeps with you, she will, most likely, wake up more often to breastfeed, which is safer and better for her health and growth. It is the way nature designed it. Most babies feed every two to four hours at night. This ensures their adequate feeding and their safety. In addition, it ensures the mother’s healthy build up of milk supply.

I suggest that you keep your baby with you, in arms at all time, and take her with you to you safely arranged bed, when you go to sleep. The emotional and physical benefits from years of closeness at night are too many to mention in this response. Your baby will change and adjust, even if it takes a bit of time. Enjoy.

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Co-sleeping After Using a Crib

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