UC Sypport thread [Archive] - MotheringDotCommune Forums

Mothernature

11-29-2003, 07:37 AM

In the beginning I had a midwife so I've had 3 prenatal appointments with her, but since then I've just been really observant of what I'm eating and getting outside lots to exercise. I also start a pre-natal swim class next week and take prenatal yoga. As far as checking blood pressure and such, I have only done that once since leaving the midwife. I was in the drugstore and decided to give it a shot. It was perfect so I'm so not worried about it. I think I will measure my fondus today as I have not been doing that either. I can tell I'm growing steadily so it hasn't seemed important. Dh did get me a doppler (on loan from the hospital.) We don't use it very often, but it is reassuring to hear that little thump thump thump when you want to. The HR is about 145 consistently, which is lower than dd's was. I wonder if that means boy? I have not been testing my urine, but I don't have any symptoms that would cause me to worry and it seems clear in the stool (TMI?) so I think I'm plenty hydrated and I'll bet it's fine too.

thechrysalis- I know what you mean about feeling a weight lifted with the UC decision. I was planning to use the same midwife I used with dd because we had a pretty good experience and a relationship built up, but since dd's birth she has gone through a divorce (after 25+ years of marriage) and her life is really a mess. She has also had her CPM revoked due to failure to adhere to peer review suggestions. Appearantly her personal crisis spilled over into her professional life. I decided that as much as I liked her the first time, I didn't want to risk it with her for what will probably be my last birth. Not to mention, she raised her fee $900 from 3 years ago! I checked around with the other local midwives and that was exhorbitant. I tossed around the idea of switching to another mw, but dh was also considering a job out of state so I didn't want to switch and then switch again, especially after paying the deposit. There had been a little voice in the back of my mind all along that said, "Who needs a midwife anyway? The suggestions she made last time were the things you could have done without anyway." That voice kept getting louder and louder until finally my hesitation turned into resolve and I started reading UC stuff instead of just birthing stuff. As soon as I decided, I felt soooo much better. Now, I don't plan on telling my family. We're just going to tell them it all happened so fast that the midwife didn't get there in time. That should suffice. We'll save all that $$$ for the birthing pool and any follow up ped appts. we may need.

How do you all feel about well baby visits? I guess that's OT.

bookwormmama

11-29-2003, 08:50 AM

Hi! Long time lurker here, chiming in to say that we are planning a UC too!

I am so excited about it, it really just feels like the absolute most right thing to do.

I am just about 15 weeks along with my 3rd. My 1st was hospital born, 2nd homeborn with a midwife. I just know that i don't need anyone telling me what to do, what not to do, etc.

I am doing all my own prenatal care, which as of right now doesn't consist of much. Haven't checked for a heartbeat, but i probably will soon with a stethoscope, just for fun. I don't want to check too early and then freak if i don't find it, kwim? Considered doing fundal height, but am lazy and keep forgetting, lol. I have had 2 normal wonderful pregnancies, and i am more than confident that my body knows how to grow babies! I am just letting things develop accordingly. :D

Great to "see" some other UCer's here!!

Sue, mama to Ellie and Ean, and incubating chick #3, due to hatch sometime in late may.

Mothernature

11-29-2003, 12:16 PM

:wave Welcome aboard bookwormmama! I know you'll do great!

thechrysalis

11-29-2003, 12:28 PM

I haven't done much by way of prenatal care. I check my bp at the grocery store when I remember. It is always low. I weigh myself at another store (dont have a scale) when I remember. I've just been trying to listen to my body and rest when I feel tired, excercise or work out in the yard when I have energy, spend as much quality time with dd as I can, etc. At first I was going to get a fetoscope but haven't bothered. Oh, I also measure my fundal height occasionally but since I'm not sure if I'm doing it correctly, I don't put much stock into it. I know baby is getting bigger, just from looking in the mirror! ;)

Personally, I think well baby visits are unneccessary. I don't take my dd to the dr unless there is something going on that I feel is abnormal or I don't feel comfortable handling myself. I've been trying to find a local homeopath or naturopath for her but no luck yet. But that is how we deal with most stuff (homeopathically).

Mothernature

11-29-2003, 12:40 PM

"I've been trying to find a local homeopath or naturopath for her but no luck yet. But that is how we deal with most stuff (homeopathically)."

I would like to learn more about homeopathy too. It seemed so "out there" to me years ago when I first heard about it, but since then I've seen so many good results. My ILs were just here for Thanksgiving and they brought some sort of cold/virus. I have managed to fight off everything that's been going around until now. Last night in the night I woke up with an extremely scratchy chest and throat and a sinus drainage/congestion that wouldn't allow me to get back to sleep. I would like to go to the health food store for some homeopathic remedy, but I don't know enough about it to do it. I refuse to take anything else for it so I guess I'll just have to do my homework. Do you have any suggestions?

Quickening

11-29-2003, 01:38 PM

mothernature - take loads of vitamin c and drink lots of water and get all the sleep you can! i dont know anything about homeopathy though! tell off your il's for being sick around pregnant you!!!

nobody has mentioned checking for baby's position - that is my only prenatal concern, i like to know the position because i do everything possible to encourage an anterior heads down position... and if my baby were breech, id like to know so i could do something about it before its too late.

i do active birth yoga exercises and always make sure my knees are below my pelvis and my pelvis is slightly tilted forward whenever i sit (gym balls!) but i guess i still dont have very much faith in trusting that what i do is sufficient iykwim? this is the only reason i'd have a mw for prenatals - that and i enjoyed her visits with dd.

i believe the reason i had such a great birth is because of excellent prenatal care and preparation and positive mindset towards birthing.

any insights into mw/baby position? i cant really tell the position by feeling myself!

indigolilybear

11-29-2003, 09:30 PM

hi all. Glad to see this thread.

We are having our third baby, third homebirth, second freebirth/lotusbirth. So we are oldtimers I guess. :thumb I am actually surprised how little preparation/thought that I am putting into it this time. Last time, it was "What I was doing", if you KWIM? It was all I focused on and this time, well, it's really different.

I am also putting off some of it, more logistical stuff till after Xmas. DH will be out of grad school for the semester and we will be setting up a birth room in our now, office. I am excited about this. I am due in early spring so this gives us a nice three month period to focus more on babe number three.

We do our own care, but TBH, I don't really feel much of it is necessary. I know my BP is w/in normal range (this was an issue w/baby one) , I exercise a lot, eat right and that's about it. I do try to some visualizations/affirmations when I remember but nearly so actively as last time.

We are also planning on birthing in water this time. Last time, it went too fast and DH was still trying to get the tub set up while I birthed DS in our bath tub.
well nice to "meet" everyone. :)

bookwormmama

11-30-2003, 07:24 AM

Thanks for the welcome Lisa. :-)

I'm sick too, yuck! The only thing i do to help myself clear out, is

1. Eat lots and lots of garlic!

2. Salt and warm water shot into my sinuses with a baby bulb syringe to rid them of any yuckiness ( i have major sinus issues every time i get a cold, this is my version of the neti pot, lol )

3. The wet sock treatment at night. This works GREAT! Warm your feet, then wet some cotton socks and put them on, then put wool socks over the wet cotton ones and sleep like that. Clears you out and helps you breathe so you can sleep. I can only stand this for about half the night, i hate stuff on my feet or body at night, but it works so well!

As far a checked for position of the baby, i was ~never~ able to tell the position of my babies. I just can't tell what's a head, back, butt, etc. Breech babies are a variation of normal. Babies can and are born breech all the time, FINE! A woman on the UC birth yahoo group, cbirth, just had her little one come out feet first. She was scheduled for a csection by her prenatal (s)care provider.

Birth is healthy and normal and we are healthy and normal, our bodies were made to do this! We are safer listening to our hearts and doing what feels right. :love

(hope i didn't sound preachy, lol)

Love,

thechrysalis

11-30-2003, 07:46 AM

Hey Sue - I've heard about that sock treatment also, I can just never make myself actually do it (something about the cold socks I guess!) but glad to hear it works.

The only way I have figured that babe is head down is by his hiccups. At first they were all over the place, now I consistently feel them way low in my pelvis. Sometimes I'm positive he is LOA but then other times, I have no idea! I can usually feel his bottom on my left and then he stretches his legs out to the right, sometimes right under my ribs (ouch!!). I guess we'll see when he comes out :)

BTW, the only reason I call my babe a he is b/c I have a definate feeling - not because I actually know. People keep asking me that irl so I thought I would explain in case anyone was wondering!

citizenfong

11-30-2003, 09:58 AM

Hi! We're planning a UC in late Feb/early March. 2nd baby, 1st UC. (Hi, indigolilybear!)

I saw mws for 3 appointments because I have hyperemesis and needed medicine to get through the day. But I now have enough medicine to get me through the rest of the pregnancy (if I ration!) and so will be firing my mws tomorrow! I've known for several weeks that I was going to fire them before it was time for another appt. (which it is now) but I've been dreading it a teensy bit. I want to say everything exactly right so that they don't ask too many questions. Homebirth/UC is a bit of a dicey issue around here and these mws have already made a couple of unsolicited, negative comments about it.

Anyway, it is a relief not to be going back. It's such a distraction! Besides which, despite the fact that I FEEL sick every day, I'm actually quite healthy!

I did lots of research before I got pg and belong to a small private email list for support. The funny thing is that I feel so prepared, it almost seems like a non-issue. I don't even have any questions left for the old-timers on my list. Last time I was so focused on the birth, this time it seems like a side issue--I'm focused on the coming baby. I was thinking the other day about how stressed out I would be about the birth if I was planning on going to the hospital.

BTW, we have a fetascope. We love it. I have yet to hear the heartbeat, but what I didn't know before was that you can hear the baby moving around. It is twice as cool as hearing the heartbeat, IMO. My ds loves to listen and always says, "Me hear baby splashing around!"

I weigh myself at my IL's (mostly out of curiosity) and will keep an eye on my bp closer to the end if I need to. I can go to the CVS down the street or check it at my IL's also.

Isn't it nice to know none of us is the only one going this route?

fourlittlebirds

11-30-2003, 11:51 AM

"any insights into mw/baby position? i cant really tell the position by feeling myself!"

You could call around to see if you can find a midwife who is comfortable with UC and ask if you can pay her to palpate your belly.

The other way you can get an idea is by where you hear the heart.

mum2lillie

11-30-2003, 07:16 PM

UC'er here too!!! This is my second homebirth, first freebirth. I'm just taking good care of myself. Not really checking anything because I know everything is just the way it should be.

The only thing lately that's been on my mind is that I feel very strongly that there may be more than one babe in there. I'm only 20 weeks and all of a sudden I look 7 months. I have felt movement since 9 weeks and I have braxton hicks all of the time! I feel kicking simultaneously on both sides. My hope is that it's just an already big baby, dd was 10 pounds. I've had a few dreams showing me twins, but I'm trying to ignore them right now!!! There aren't any in my family that we know of so it doesn't seem like there's some huge possibility. My girlfriend just had twins at home so my thought is that it may be our psychic link to each other. Oh- I hope. Not sure I'm made out for 2 babies at one time!!! It would be nice to know, but there's really know way I can think of to find out that agrees with my UC ideas-you know?

Hope you ladies all had a nice holiday weekend!

indigolilybear

11-30-2003, 08:36 PM

Hi citizenfong and mum2lillie! :wave
I wondered too, if I was having twins last preg. I think it's a common worry. People would ask us "what if there are two in there?" and I said, " well, we'll just keep catching them!" :LOL It might just be the second pregnancy thing too. I was a lot farther "out there" w/second preg. vs. first.

Congrats Citizenfong on the next step in your journey. SOunds empowering. :) We had a fetoscope, still do I guess, and never really got the hang of it. I finally let it go and went cold turkey....LOL Reading your post made me want to pull it out and see if I can hear the baby splashing around in there.

WEll nice to see eveyrone here.
:thumb

Mothernature

11-30-2003, 08:57 PM

Wow! This group is really growing. I didn't realize there would be so many of us. Glad to have you all to go through this with. It's encouraging to see so many women willing to take charge of their own pregnancies. I've been wondering about position too. I think most of it stems from dd being posterior and turning during labor. I went 13 hours instead of what could have been much easier. Not to mention mw recommended pushing before I had the urge and I pushed for three hours. I was exhausted but I learned to listen to my own body. I think I will try listening for the heartbeat to see if I can determine the postion of this baby. It just seems so flip-floppy (like my word?) that it could change from day to day. I'm about 32 weeks so this baby should be settling in to place- right? Well, it will come out just fine no matter.

Welcome to all the new posters!:wave

artemesia

12-01-2003, 09:06 AM

Hi everyone, I'm going to be UC too. After much stress in the beginning of this pregnancy about midwives ect., I made up my mind for UC and all the stress and worry melted away. Now I am totally at peace about this birth. I'm not even devouring reading material about birth or UC anymore, I just know it will all be o.k.
It is nice to see so many other's here:)

thechrysalis

12-01-2003, 10:55 AM

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has wondered about twins! This baby is just so active - sometimes I feel movement *all* over at the same time. It is strange. I think he is just big though - dd was almost 10 lbs too. At least that is what I hope, not sure I could handle two at once right now either! :)

bookwormmama

12-02-2003, 01:38 PM

I just wanted to say hi to everyone else who posted after me, and to ask when everyone is "due". Just curious. :)

I am now going into my 15th week and can't WAIT!! to feel flutters. I am so impatient. I have known since day 1 that i was pg, so this waiting is killing me, :LOL

I guess i've got alot more of it to come, huh?

:hippie

indigolilybear

12-02-2003, 10:02 PM

hi, I'm due sometime early spring. Around the end of March/early April. I"m guessing I'll go late March though. :)

KWIM about knowing so soon. We knew fairly certainly the moment we conceived. I saw hte proverbial spark that others describe. HOwever after a slow first trimester, it starting to pick up a little. From what I remember, then it slows down again end of the last trimester.

Spark

12-03-2003, 10:00 AM

Uh, can I be the mascot for this thread? I don't think I can be an official member, but I'll wear the stuffed animal suit and cheer us all on. I am focusing on a UC, however, I my DH feels very uncomfortable with UC (but said it's fine if the MW doesn't make it in time). So, I'm working to make sure the midwife doesn't make it on time, without being dishonest. The midwife is pretty much hands off and I've asked that she's even more hands off with this birth...if she's at the birth.

This is my preparation to make sure the midwife doesn't make it on time -- I'm practicing hypnosis, so pain won't be such an indicator. I'm going to take Vit C with bioflavenoids during the last two months to help keep my bag of waters in tact (last time they broke before labor began). I plan on laboring by myself as long as possible & then calling DH. I'm not calling the MW till I'm sure I'm in labor (read: ready to push). And, I'm asking the universe to support the idea of freebirth for this baby. I trust it will happen if it is for the highest good. I just hope it is!

I'm due aprox March 15. Prenatally this is what I do -- I have a scale so out of curiousity I weigh myself. I have really normal/low side blood pressure & not worried about that. I'm not concerned about sugar or protein in urine. Basically, I go to the midwife and she gives me cranial/sacral work and discuss homeopathy and natural healing. It's nice. Rarely though do we discuss my pregnancy. She didn't even measure my fundal height last time. But, I do want her to show me how to find the baby's position and things like that so I can them myself. Just because I like to feel the baby.

I'm normal. I just know this pregnancy is going beautifully. I'm taking care of myself and baby as I feel I should.

thechrysalis

12-03-2003, 02:45 PM

I was so excited to see this thread on its second page! Whoo hoo! :)

Now for a not so pleasant question: Has anyone else had vomiting in the third trimester? I am 33+ weeks and for the past two, have thrown up about 5-6 times. It seems to coincide with my prenatal, although I am taking the Rainbow Light once/day which I haven't had a problem with this entire pregnancy. I never had actual throwing up in the first trimester. I've heard its normal, I just don't understand why it happens. It just seems like a cruel joke, you know?

Other than that, things are going pretty good. I've had some restless legs but started taking iron again and have slept really well the past two nights.

Hope everyone else is doing good also.

youngnhappymamma

12-03-2003, 05:02 PM

thechrysalis- my friend who is pregnant with her third also just started throwing up and being sick again...weird....

mum2lillie- have you measured your fundal height? If you measure weeks more than you are then there is a possibility for twins!!! I think that would be exciting. I am almost 10 weeks and am so positive I have already felt movement....but everyone says I'm crazy and it's just gas. :rolleyes

I am not currently planning on a uc, but dream of it and might end up doing it....and I have a few good friends who do it and I think it's just awesome. :D

bookwormmama

12-04-2003, 05:09 AM

Hey Sparklin

I'm trying to figure out what the stuffed animal mascot for UC would be! :LOL I guess any animal, cause they all UC, don't they??

We can be the UC Unicorns! Ok, it's way too early and my brain is a bit loopy, i think i need to go back to sleep. :zzz

Sorry you're getting sick Chrysalis, that sucks! Maybe it's just some weird bug or something, everyone i know has been sick lately. Are you nauseous too, or just randomly throwing up? I lost my constant nausea around 12 weeks, but after i eat more than say, oh ONE bite, my stomach is uncomfortably full and i feel that if i puked i'd feel much better. YUCK! :sick

Which brings me to another thing i wanted to say, that this pregnancy is so weird so far! I can completely feel all of my organs shifting around all the time. Like when my bladder is full in the am, my uterus is waaaay up high, i can feel the lump of baby up around my belly button, but when the ol' bladder is empty, uterus is down above my public bone. It's kinda cool to feel everything shifting so much. I guess that's what comes from having ZERO muscle tone, :LOL !

Anyway, enough :blah

Let's keep this thread going, it's so nice to have someone to chat with, everyone around me is focused on the midwives, etc. I'm feeling so relaxing and grateful that i can just enjoy this pregnancy. :D

Love,

2much2luv

12-04-2003, 07:23 AM

Hi everyone! :wave

We are planning a UC in January. In reality it will most likely be the end of January, but I am so big already and feel so ready for this baby that I am thinking about a begining of January baby. I don't know why I do this to myself. :rolleyes: lol

My first dd's birth was an induced hospital birth with all the trimmings...induction with Pit, episiotomy, epidural...I am just glad I scraped through without a csection which almost happened. My second dd was born at home with a midwife in the water. (she was born in the water, the midwife wasn't in the water...its too early!) So many things pushed me to UC this time...looking at the imperfections of my last birth, a freind was planning her UC (and had it a few weeks ago!), I got a really bad vibe from my midwife when I called her...I was in turmoil over it in the first few months with the worries and going back and forth with it all in my head, but then one day I just knew this was right. Like some of you have described I just had total peace about it once I decided. :love I have done all my research at this point about what to do for the little what ifs and feel completely prepared.

As far as prenatal care I'm not doing much. I feel good so I know everything is good. I was seeing a CNM in the first 4 months because I was a worry wort, but no longer. I mainly just try to connect with my baby every day and ask her if she is fine and just sort of try to feel it out to know that everything is well. I drink some pregnancy tea once in awhile and do yoga as often as I get time. I do need to do my yoga more because I am really waddling lately and feeling stiff. My blood pressure has always been really low so that isn't a concern. My iron levels were really low at the end of my last pregnancy so I will be watching that. I have a WIC appointment this month and they will check it and then I will get more Iron if I need to.

We don't do well baby visits. We will take this baby in if we think there may be a problem, but I think it is more dangerous to take a healthy infant into a germy doctors office than any benefit we might get from it.

But dang I'm excited! Everything is just so perfect about UC. I have never been so excited to have a baby. I have grown so much during this pregnancy. In the begining I was worried about my other children (3 1/2 and 2 when baby will be born) and who would watch them because with my last labor I "needed" dh with my all the time I was in labor. But I have grown and really see myself laboring alone this time calling the family in to witness the birth. I just feel so strong by myself and this is a new feeling to me in my life. I can tell this birth is going to be so empowering.

Family would FLIP if they knew. I live near my inlaws so they are the ones we deal with and they flipped over our homebirth last time and think we are complete freaks. I am avoiding them like the plague this time. Anyone else have premature nesting? I feel so in touch with myself and my baby with this pregnancy, I guess that just comes from taking it all on my shoulders. But anyway, for several months now I have felt that pull inward that I felt at the end of my last pregnancy. I am shunning my in laws and anyone else that doesn't give me good vibes and really love being home most of the time. It seemed really early to feel this way but I am trusting my feelings and obeying them.

Anyway, glad to have the rest of you. :D

Beth

2much2luv

12-04-2003, 07:45 AM

Oh, I forgot. I'm not worried about breech but I am pretty sure this baby is head down. I feel feet and legs up high, or so it seems, and the heartbeat on my fetoscope is where I believe the back is and it just adds up to what I think...head down with her back to the left most of the time.
One way to tell, though I have only felt this once myself, is to find the lump at the top of your belly, either head or butt presumably, and push on it. If it is butt you will most likely feel the head bumping your cervix. If it is head the neck will give and you shouldn't feel anything down low. Good luck and have fun poking.

Oh, Mothernature, kali bich is a good homeopathic cold remedy I think.

artemesia

12-04-2003, 03:32 PM

I just got back from a WIC appointment that I have been dreading. They were hassling me at the last appt. last month because I hadn't had my prenatal bloodwork done yet. I told them that I was leaving the care of the midwives at the birth center (which is true) and that I hadn't chosen a new midwife yet (also true, but I really had no intention of finding another one). They freaked that I would be going a whole month (gasp) without prenatal care, and I was getting a bit worried that they would turn me into CPS or something. So today I got the second degree again, and I just told them that my new care provider doesn't follow the allopathic model of care and that I wouldn't be getting the bloodwork done (well technically this is also true since I am my new care provider and I'm not a Doc). Finally they relented and just gave me the iron test there (had to poke me three times, yuck).
Have any of you run into any sticky situations because of your choice to UC? I almost didn't go to the appointment today because I just wanted to avoid an unpleasant situation, but we really need the WIC right now. In the end though I'm glad I went and dealt with it, it showed me that if I just handle myself with confidence I can get through quite well.
I don't have a problem telling someone my plans, unless I know they will give me a major hassle over it. A few people I told are actually in awe, and a few have been definately less than warm (like the LLL leaders here).

merpk

12-05-2003, 02:29 AM

:grouphug

Ladies, I'm just a lurking cheerleader. Am not nearly so free as to even consider unassisted homebirth ... but am deeply envious of all who do ...

So proud of you all ...

& looking forward to your birth stories & baby pictures ...

:)

:grouphug

Mothernature

12-05-2003, 07:25 AM

2much- glad you found us on your own without me having to personally drag you over here. Thanks for the bit about the kali bich. I'll see if I can find it at the local health food store. We're starting to feel better, but the mucous seems never ending. When that's gone, I'll be ready to really practice my yoga again. It's kinda hard to do the breathing with a head full of snot (TMI I know.)

Wow! We have a mascot and a cheerleader! I feel like a real team here. Maybe our mascot should simply be a goddess. You can pick the goddess Sparklin since you get to wear the costume (or lack there of.)

I have to go for now. Take care!

mum2lillie

12-05-2003, 09:13 AM

I like the Goddess idea, too. Good to have a cheerleader as well.

Youngnhappymamma-I do measure myself every week and I've been measuring normal as far as I can tell. My girlfriend who just had the 13 pounds of twins at home didn't start measuring big until 24 weeks. I feel more confident that their's only one baby in there. I knew once my friend had her babies, she'd quit sending all of her vibes to everyone. It was just shocking how fast my belly got so big. I was quite noticibly pregnant at 13 weeks. As far as I can tell, I haven't really put the weight on anywhere else except belly, but it is hard to look so far along when you're only halfway and everyone thinks you're due in a couple of months-LOL. I want to avoid hitting the 200 pound mark like I did last time. I already don't eat meat, but I think after December when I hit my 3rd trimester, I'm going to cut the amount of dairy I eat in half and see if that helps me from packing on the unneeded pounds.

As far as family support goes, my mom and dad (who aren't together) know. My mom is really stressed, but keeps it to herself. My dad could care less, only because he grew up on a farm and doesn't really think birth is any different than any other daily event.

Dh's family doesn't really know. Luckily we had a normal homebirth and I delivered such a big baby that they just think we're having it at home again with a midwife and they don't ask questions.

Sparklin-with all of your determination, I bet you will manage to have that UC you dream of!!!

2much2luv

12-05-2003, 10:50 AM

(((Mothernature))) :) I hope you feel better soon.

I haven't heard any opposition yet because no one knows yet. I am just counting on not getting sick or having any problems so I can avoid the doctor's office.

artemesia, what nosy WIC people. I wonder if it is different in each state or something because I always here of people online having problems with not having vaccines or, like you, no prenatal care. They have never asked me anything personal like that or seem to show any concern for my life other than giving me my checks. I would ask them exactly why they are asking you all these questions. :scratch

Hope everyone is having a nice week. I am getting quite excited to have this baby. I have about 8 weeks to go and that isn't too long. Last night dh and I were playing with baby. She was rolling and kicking really well for dh. He layed his head on my belly and she leaned against him. :love It was so cute.

Anyone have names yet?

big hugs everyone.

MaWhit

12-05-2003, 10:55 AM

Another cheerleader here. :) I'm not PG, but I just had my UC a bit more than a month ago. It was amazing and wonderful. :) I'll be sending good energy to all of you.

thechrysalis

12-05-2003, 12:48 PM

I haven't really had any opposition either, but that's because I've only told about 3 people. I feel terrible lying to my mom though - she doesn't even know I'm having this one at home, although I think she has a feeling by some of the comments she makes to me. My MIL doesn't understand why I can't just have another c/s, after all, it would "make everything easier for the family" - as in they could then make plans now of when to come up. Gee, okay - sign me up! Oy.

I only have about 6 weeks now and am getting so excited! I've been dying to set up my birth pool but that would probably really be jumping the gun, huh. :p

bookwormmama

12-05-2003, 04:40 PM

Wow, all you mamas are so much closer than me, i'm so jealous!! chrysalis, i would go ahead and set that pool up, what kind is it? Is it a birthing pool, or just a kiddie pool? We went the kiddie pool route with my ds, and it was awesome. Easy to set up and take down, and mucho comfy. You just need a pretty good water heater to fill it. I'm thinking of setting it up now, lol.

I have only told a few folks, some friends of mine who have also uc'd or support it, my sil who is awesome and my mother, whom i kind of regret telling. I may backtrack on that and tell her we changed our minds, she is kind of unstable and i don't trust her completely. I have a bad feeling that she'd get mad and call DCS on us or something. I've heard horror stories, and she did call DCS on my sister, but that was at least partially justified. Anyway, enough rambling.

We are about to get a mother of a snowstorm here in the NE, i can't wait to get out and play!! My dh builds the best igloos!

:D :D :D

indigolilybear

12-05-2003, 09:32 PM

HA! The support issue got me reminiscing (in a bad wayl.....) about last pregnancy when I avoided telling my mother (a RN) that we were going solo. I didn't tell her any lies and she finally flat out asked (She was present at DD"s assisted homebirth). So the cat was out of the bag. She was VERY upset and worried and it really hurt me cuz she is my mom and it was hard to see her upset.

Anyway, this time, she seems more at ease and less gloom and doom. She's said nothing and seems more relaxed. That was the hardest thing about hte whole thing....knowing my mom was suffering because of our decision. :( I think she was very relieved when we had a live, healthy baby to show for it.

Everyone else was remarkably supportive or at least did not voice to us how crazy they thought we are. :LOL

Sparklin---Don't know if you've heard these stories but I know two people personally who wanted a freebirth and got them DESPITE not *really* planning it. I was before, but now am VERY much a believer in the power of the mind. One planned a freebirth, dh wasn't supportive, they changed plans around 8 months and hired a MW, who though they called early enough.....MW got stuck in a traffic jam and didn't make it. Result: very traumatic for DH. It was a bad thing. Next case: woman knew DH wouldn't be comfortable w/it, so hired a MW early on....and didn't tell DH to call the MW till the urge to push snuck up on her. Baby came before MW and everyone was happy.

Anyway, just food for thought. And I guess what I took away from these cases were how important it is to get you and DH on a similar and truthful standing....

oh BTW here is our last birth story if anyone is interested http://www.compleatmother.com/homebirth/elaine.htm

happy weekend everyone. :wave

MaWhit

12-05-2003, 10:25 PM

A couple of you PMed for my birth story so I thought I'd post a link here as well... Here ya go: http://216.92.20.151/discussions/showthread.php?s=&threadid=102159

nak

Mothernature

12-06-2003, 08:59 AM

Thank you both for those beautiful and inspiring birth stories. I think I'd like to make a collection of freebirth stories to read over before I do it. Maybe we can put together an anechdotal anthology of freebirth to inspire others.

My family would have a major flip out if I told them I was planning this birth without a midwife/OB. They were pretty unsupportive of the homebirth thing the first time, but they came around. I figure that if I lead them along to believe we are planning a mw and then tell them the birth happened so fast the mw didn't have time to get there they won't be able to argue. It's a fib, but everyone will sleep easier if I tell it. My father especially would not be able to handle a planned UC. My step sister is pregnant and due in April. She is having lots of morning sickenss and lots of complications (anxious nature) and they do an ultrasound about every appointment for her just to ease her mind. My family seems more comfortable with this than with me being all easy going and no complications etc. I guess it gives them something to worry about and fuss over.:confused: I put all the "right" books in step sis's hands and intellectually she gets it, but her anxious nature and the fact that this is her first are getting in the way.

indigolilybear- I've been curious about how Zen will handle the labor/birth, but after reading your story I think she'll be just fine. Wasn't Willow about 3? Zen just turned 3 on Wed. and I'm starting to think she'll do quite well. She's very excited about this whole thing. I do have a friend for backup if I need her to come play with dd while I get down to business. I'm hoping this will go so fast we won't need to call her.

As the birth approaches, I'm more at peace with the process. I think Christmas/holiday was getting me down but now I'm seeing more clearly and I'm finding release from that tension. I'm also starting to feel better from this flu. I'm sure that's helping a lot.

I hope everyone else is doing well.

2much2luv

12-06-2003, 09:14 AM

Our family(ILs) won't know about our UC beforehand for sure. They were HORRIBLE people when we were planning our last homebirth with a midwife and I just don't know what they would do if they knew what we were planning this time. My poor mIL is so scared of birth I think she might try to take some action if she knew. I will probably leave it up to dh wether or not to tell after the birth. I don't like the idea of lying so the truth will probably come out. As far as my parents, they don't really care what I do at all so it most likely won't even come up...especially considering we only exchange letters about twice a year and never talk. :rolleyes:

I set up our pool way early last time. :LOL I was a little excited. I don't know when or if I'll do it this time. I really enjoyed the water with my last birth so I have the pool here so I can have that option, but I don't picture a water birth this time so who knows. We will probably start getting in birth mode, nesting, scrubbing and setting up supplies, talking about it with the girls alot... after the holidays are over.

Hope everyone is doing well. :D
Beth

indigolilybear

12-06-2003, 11:42 AM

Lisa-
Willow was 2 yrs 7 mos when he was born. She was very precocious in terms of prep. though and was very interested in birth. She enjoyed very much watching "a clear road to birth" and other birth videos. HOWEVER-- she was not prepared for how intense it was to see *me* (her mommy!!!) go from early labor.....to big time transition suddenly which is what happened. THis time, she is still apprehensive and doesn't want me to make noises....so I"m going to try my best!! :LOL I think she will do much better this time and I know she'll be great w/her little brother (will be almost three at the birth). and I have never regretted having her there. I think it was a great experience for her, though stressful as well. (But most good things are a combination anyway....)

This time, if the kids aren't already awake, I think I would have DH wake up DD to watch the actual birth and maybe ds....But I don't want dd to miss it. :love I'm sure you're little one will do great.

I saw Jeannine Parvati Baker (www.freestone.org) speak when preg. w/ds and she talked a lot about how she strongly believes that children belong at births and how they are great MW's. So that may make you feel more comfortable as well. ALso if you don't already have it, the freebirth video has a wondeful sibling assisted birth on there that may give your DS an idea of what it might be like to help mommy give birth. It's really sweet to watch.

fourlittlebirds

12-07-2003, 01:03 AM

"I saw Jeannine Parvati Baker (www.freestone.org) speak when preg. w/ds and she talked a lot about how she strongly believes that children belong at births and how they are great MW's."

My son was so great. When the contractions got strong and I was moaning and going within, he asked me if the baby was here yet, and I told him, "don't worry, I'll tell you when she comes" and then he put his arms around my neck and I layed my head on his little chest, and he told me I was doing a good job. :D (He was 4 at the time.) I felt more supported by that small gesture than I did by anything else anyone has ever done at any of my births.

Linda (also cheering you all on, I'm not pregnant... that I know of)

bookwormmama

12-07-2003, 08:20 AM

When i had my ds, my dd was 4 and she was the best support person i could have asked for. I was in the pool leaning forward and rocking during surges, and she was just sitting there next to me rubbing my arm lovingly. It was so sweet!! I loved having her there, it was so calm and peaceful and felt so right! I'm curious as to how my son will do at this birth, he will be just over 3. I'm sure my dd will be right there to calm him down if he gets freaked out though, i have no worries about that at all.

:love

amyamanda

12-07-2003, 02:43 PM

It's been awhile since I posted here at Mothering, but I have been around for awhile. I've been looking for UC support and this thread seems pretty comfy. :D My name is Amanda, and I am 17 weeks pregnant, due in May with #4. I'm planning a UC. My first birth was a highly interventive hospital induction for pre-eclampsia; my second was a non-interventive, fast birth in as hospital that left DH and I thinking we should have just stayed home; and my third was a fast waterbirth at home with a wonderfully hands-off midwife.

I love my midwife, but all things considered it makes the most sense for us to do this one on our own. It was my DH's idea, and I'm all for it as well. As far as prenatals go, I'm living a healthy lifestyle, watching my belly grow, and staying in tune with my body's messages. I haven't felt the need to measure or keep track of anything. I read everything I could get my hands on during my last three pregnancies and I haven't felt the need to read much more this time around. I have been feeling movement since very early (about 10 weeks) so I figure movement means there's a baby with a heartbeat in there. A friend lent us a fetoscope. DH is EMT-certified, and has a blood pressure cuff and stethoscope, so he'll likely check my BP/pulse from time to time as well. I didn't let my midwife weigh me at all in my last pregnancy, so wouldn't do weight checks this time anyway. I can feel my fundal height when my uterus is contracted, and it is rising as my pregnancy progresses, but I'm not actually measuring it. What else do they do at prenatals? Oh, protein and sugar...not checking them at this point. If I feel a need to do more later on, I will.

We're planning to rent a tub from my midwife, and I will have her confirm the baby's position and placental location when we see her then (at 36 weeks). I will feel reassured having those things confirmed. She knows we are going unassisted and is willing to be a resource but we've agreed to keep quiet about it. I am not planning on telling family beforehand, but a couple of supportive friends know.

I'm feeling very at ease with our decision to UC. I am confident that my body will guide me, my experience will inform me, and that DH and I will know how to recognize any need for additional assistance. It feels so good to trust!

Best of luck to all of you!

Mothernature

12-07-2003, 03:50 PM

Good to have you join us amyamanda! It sounds like you're following your instincts quite nicely.

I have a great UC story to tell today! My friend who is due Dec. 13 called this morning to tell me they had their baby at 1:20 this AM. The plan was to have a mw attend, but she was only in labor 1 1/2 hours so the mw didn't get there in time. They didn't think there was a need to rush her in the middle of the night, but I guess they were wrong. She said she was glad to have the mw show up and clean up the mess and weigh/measure/assess the baby, but it went really smoothly and very quickly. They are enjoying the afterglow today even though they haven't really slept as of yet. I just wanted to share another UC (although unplanned) success story!

thechrysalis

12-07-2003, 05:16 PM

Thanks to you guys that shared your UC stories. I love reading them. Welcome Amanda! I have a brother named Alden - love that name.

I think someone asked about birth pools - I just have a kiddie pool (the fishy pool) sitting in the box here. My dd gets really excited when we look at the box together, because of the fish :) Its also interesting to hear how everyone's dc were during their UC's. My dd will be 28 months - she really doesn't grasp yet that we'll be having a baby but I think she will be okay during. I picture myself laboring at night with her asleep also and then having some time to bond with baby before she wakes up. We'll see! I am hanging white lights over the curtains in my birth room this week and have my candles set out. I've also been picking out the music I think I may want to listen to.

A good friend of mine is taking me out this Saturday night as a little baby shower - I can't wait! She has been knitting and I think she may have made a little newborn hat for the baby! I can't wait to see it.

Are any of you going to be cloth diapering? I didn't start with dd until she was 4 months so I'm not sure yet what to get for this one for the newborn stage. I'm thinking just prefolds and proraps but wanted something else for nighttime. Any suggestions?

lovelee

12-07-2003, 06:09 PM

I'm going to post here too! However I'm just about 90% sure that we are going unassisted. I've got another 18 weeks to make it to 100%!

We are planning to do a waterbirth.

I have a friend that just went unassisted about 6 weeks ago and she has been a great support to me.

Spark

12-08-2003, 08:30 AM

Your friendly mascot here --
We really need a :goddess smilie here at MDC.

2much2luv -- you asked about names. I think we're going to have either Cicely Margaret or Josephine something. If we end up having a another boy I like Rogan or Wyatt today.

Indigo & Whit thank you so much for posting your birth stories. Indigo I think I've read yours a couple times before and each time I just love it. What a great story. Whit -- what a beautiful birth. I love how you included her being "juicy" and how you calmly and confidently handled it. When we trust in our abilities, we can tune into to great wisdom, IMO.

Mothernature -- I hope people can write a great story like that about me someday in March! Congrats to your friend!

So this is what I tell people -- "We're planning another homebirth, but we don't want as many people around this time. I want it to just be Jason and me." People just assume I'm implying I want the midwife there, too. Interesting -- I think some people hear what they want to. Others actually ask me, "What about the midwife?" Then, I say, "No, I'd prefer to go fast and totally painfree this time." I figure I might as well ask for what I want.

thechrysalis -- night time diapering -- I have some insert things that I picked up at a garage sale. They are thick pads that go into the diaper (the shape of a flattened butternut squash). They work well for us.

Love, light & peace!

2much2luv

12-08-2003, 09:37 AM

Welcome amyamanda and bellafinn. :)

My children will be exactly 2 and 31/2 for the birth. I don't really have any concerns at all. If worse came to worse and my labor is prolonged and I really need dh's support (I very highly doubt this will happen) we will call some friends to watch them. But I really hope they can be there. Older dd has seen some pictures in childrens books of the baby coming out and she says she want's to help catch. :D I think that would be great.
We should all share our birth fantasy...What are you visualizing?
I had pictured laboring at night while everyone sleeps, but it has changed lately and I would love to labor in the afternoon, have dh play with the girls and keep them distracted while I get down to it. I picture laboring and birthing in the bedroom...that is just definately the room where it will happen. Then as I feel baby coming during the evening hours I will call them all in and we will light some candles and they will watch/participate in the birth and then we snuggle up, have some dinner and go to bed. :love

We use cloth diapers. For my last two I used prefolds and bummis but this time I am going to treat myself to some fitteds. I have some happy heinys and some fuzzibunz. I am going to order some fireflys and Kindhearted women fitteds I think. I also have to soakers on order. For those that are cloth diapering a newborn for the first time though prefolds and wraps did work just fine. :thumb I just want something new. If you do go with prefolds and wraps i will say to invest in alot of wraps because the prefolds don't hold in little baby poop and you will have to change the cover with just about every poop.

Feeling good today. I took the time to do my yogs last night, which I don't do nearly often enough and I am going to work on that. But I really got in touch with my body and it felt good. My only "issue" with this pregnancy is that I am just BIG. I look at myself sideways in a mirror and just want to run. I have gained a bit of extra padding, but mostly its just my belly out there for the world to see. :LOL 6 more weeks, I keep telling myself, though it will probably be 7. How much bigger can I get in 6 or 7 weeks.

Hope everyone had a nice weekend.

Beth

citizenfong

12-10-2003, 04:30 PM

Hey, everybody! I haven't posted in a while so figured I'd drop in and give our little thread a bump!

So I have the opposite of a rant to share. I've been rereading The American Way of Birth, by Jessica Mitford. It was the first sort of anti-mainstream birth book I read after ds's birth. I got it at the used bookstore for a $1, so who could resist? Anyway, there's nothing in there that is new to me, it's really just the same old crappy stuff about the crappy system, yk? But I was contrasting it with a UC birth story I read the other day. It's a woman on my private email list who had what she called a "family birth". It was SO sweet, and SO peaceful. Her 13 y.o. son was refilling her birth tub for her, her next oldest was helping Mom get cleaned off, etc. her youngest was singing to quiet the baby while Mom was busy birthing the placenta. And of course her dh was all in there for the whole thing. It was SOOOO what I want, in terms of peacefulness and NORMALNESS. I was all sobbing by the end of it.

Anyway, here is what my fantasy would be for birth. First that it would go quickly, BUT not so quickly that it feels frantic. I really want to be able to be in the moment and not have to concentrate on a bunch of other stuff. I want dh to be there the whole time. Ideally I would like for ds to be there and participate in watching the birth. And I want it to be peaceful, and joyful, and normal. And then we all take a nap.

If things are not going super-quickly or if I feel like I need extra hands or support, we are going to call our dear friends who are due 7 weeks after us. She and I are TOTALLY in agreement with birth philosophies and her dh has gladly agreed to be a companion to ds if he needs that during the labor part. And ds says he wants to see the birth (and offered to cut the cord!), so we'll see. I've told him that he can change his mind at any time. He completely understands that we're having a baby and we've talked extensively about the basics of what will happen. But you can't know for sure how an almost 3 y.o. will react to seeing Mom in what looks like distress. Though he's had plenty of experience with Mommy not feeling well this pregnancy!

The one thing that sometimes weighs on my mind is dh. He is currently irreplacable at his job. There are only 3 people in his office--the main office is in another city. It is possible that I could call him and say, Okay, baby coming, you've probably got less than a few hours, and he might not AT ALL be able to leave work. He hasn't been able to take a sick day in 18 mos. Does anyone remember last year's ice storm? We were without electricity for 7 days. There was no electricity at dh's work the first day or two, but he had to go in to meet trucks coming in anyway! He took a sleeping bag and a bunch of blankets and tried to stay warm in the dark office all day.

We are hoping that someone will be in place that could back him up before March, but otherwise, I hope I go on a weekend. The other thing is that I can't see how he'll be able to take time off after the baby is born. He will have 2 weeks of vacation time available to him, but when he takes a vacation day they have to reroute trucks and hold shipments and pretty much it causes a big ruckus. It's ridiculous. And his employer is NOT likely to be understanding. They're all nice enough, but neither of the big bosses has kids. One of them's never been married.

Oh, and my fantasy birth includes people who have decided that they will be there for the actual birth (who have not been invited) not getting all offended when they realize we didn't call them til afterward!:LOL

Spark

12-11-2003, 09:42 AM

Ooh, Tracy, I like your birth focus -- that sounds nice. I agree about wanting a quick, but not too quick labor. I would think 5 hours would be nice. With my son I was fully dialated just before the 5 hour point (started with no ctx, but my water breaking). That seemed like such a nice time to have a baby. I was easily riding the waves up to that point and much beyond it even. This time I'd like to be holding my baby after that nice short time. What a bummer about your husband's job. That just sounds ugly. Hopefully, he'll be able to be firm with his bosses & they'll chalk it up to things they don't understand, but still respect him.

This is my dream birth (for this week, I rewrite all the time imagining myself in all kinds of senerios) -- I wake up around 3am after some good sleep. I feel rested & excited because I know the baby is coming. I nurse my son & it helps build my ctx. He easily goes back to sleep & I slip out of bed & go down stairs lighting some candles and breathing. I put on music or hypnosis tapes and rock, sway, sit on the toilet, etc. I vocalize when I need/want to. I enjoy my alone time, being the only one knowing my baby will be born today. I go upstairs and take a shower or bath. I squat in the tub because it just feel so good. Jason wakes up and I ask him to set up the video camera to catch the birth and take some pictures of me laboring. I listen to my body and begin pushing soon after. Within a few minutes, I'm holding my baby in my arms. The midwife is still at her house and hour away, but will be over later to check the baby & make some herbal bath stuff. My mom will come over and make a big breakfast. We'll eat & then Jason and I will go to bed and nap with our new family member. Jude may go play at grandma's house or sleep with us if he'd like to.

Beth -- I smiled when I read, "How much bigger can I get in 6-7 weeks?" I don't know the answer to that question, but it is really amazing to watch our bodies swell with life, isn't it? I'm really trying to enjoy this pregnancy. I know it'll be over soon enough and I'll be nursing my two children and cherishing my pregnancy memories. Life goes by so fast sometimes...of course...I'm not in my 3rd trimester yet! Good idea to share birth fantasy/idea/focus/plan with each other. Your afternoon labor sounds great! Sign me up!

Quickening

12-11-2003, 02:43 PM

5 hour labour!?? Mine was about that and it was TOO fast! Yeah so I got tired halfway there, so what? lol I felt the whole thing went by too fast for me to savour and enjoy it!!!

I enjoyed it but I'm addicted lol I want more! Is this normal? Labour is work but it is so much fun doing it and birthing is EVEN more fun!

I can't wait til I get pregnant again, its UC and I know I'll make it this time without the midwife!

citizenfong

12-12-2003, 02:29 AM

Claire, I just had to laugh reading your post. Umm, have you ever written porn? :LOL Not that I've ever read any, of course! But there was quite an <intimate> tone there...

Quickening: You go, girl! Ha! I doubt many people would consider any of us NORMAL just based on our inclusion in this thread :D

bookwormmama

12-12-2003, 07:45 AM

Quickening, I think that you are normal!! Women are supposed to love labor and birth! At least i think so. Even if it is hard work and even painful at times, it is such an awesome experience, amazing, and over so quickly in the scheme of things. We have only about a day or so to experience this, i want to savor it! I can't wait to birth this babe, but it's a little bittersweet, it may be my last so i want to remember everything i can.

Oh, by the way, i felt my first little kicks the other day!!!! I am 16 weeks now, and sooooo excited!! :D I just want this babe to get bigger and bigger so i can feel those little arms and legs more and more. It's such a cool feeling!

Ok, some smilies for Ellie now:

:LOL :splat :fairy :angel :cuss :lady :banana :banana :banana :kitty :balloons :innocent :lips :shy :hearts :hug :grouphug :heartbeat :wag :wild :tomato :inthet :binky :bow :moon :Bow :bigeyes :rainbow :soapbox :bf :af :blah :duh :hyena :sticky :champagne :supermod :brush :demon :hang :laundry :drool :greet :-wool :dust :belly :clap :diaper

Mothernature

12-13-2003, 12:53 PM

I guess I need to come up with a birth fantasy. Some of yours are so beautiful! I'll work on mine and get back to you. I know visualization is a very powerful tool, so the more details the better, right?

Spark

12-15-2003, 05:43 AM

Tracy -- Did I ever write porn! LOL! :D That made me laugh so hard! I, uh, didn't mean that kind of "alone time," but I certainly wouldn't be opposed to it if the mood struck me. Actually, some of my fantasy births start off after making love to my husband. I think that would be a great way to begin bringing our baby into the world...since the act (philosophy aside) is what started the pregnancy off to begin with. Laura Shanely's site has some nice erotic birth stories. http://www.freebirth.com/sensualbirth.htm Of course, if you're like me you've read every word on her site 5 times already. But, it's always nice to read.

Quickening -- Hmm, I didn't think about 5 hours being too short to enjoy and savor. Ok, next fantasy birth, I'll add a few hours on, with a slow lingering start up. Quickneing, I think you're my kind of normal. I REALLY loved being in labor, too. It was so amazing. Right after my son was born the first thing I told my husband after gooing over my son was, "I could do that again. Not tomorrow, but certainly the next day." And, I was quite serious. I just love it!

Bookwormmama -- Ooh, the first kicks! congrats! That's so neat! YEAH!

Mothernature -- ooh, just put a story down on your keyboard. You can have lots of birth fantasies! Just typing one doesn't mean you have to commit to it. We have an afternoon birth, an early morning birth and a schedule pleasing birth. Just start with a time, if you want, and see where it goes from there. I love reading birth fantasies!

I had the midwife I'm seeing teach me how to palpate myself. I think from now on, I'll palpate first and then have her confirm until I get good at finding my babe. Romantic Getaway Sparkling went from head down to transverse after some long car travel, but now back to head down...I think. I'm still learning this whole belly feeling thing.

~Peace~

mum2lillie

12-15-2003, 08:18 AM

Speaking of Laura's site, Sparklin, my picture is on there under birth erotica. It's the last pic on the page. Not that my first birth was erotic because it wasn't, but I enjoyed taking pictures that pregnancy!

Spark

12-15-2003, 10:56 AM

Kendall! That is such a beautiful picture. Oh, my goodness that georgous! Did you go to a professional studio (certainly looks like it)? Towards the end of my last pregnancy I scheduled pregnancy photos. I explained, I thought pretty clearly, that I wanted sensual pictures and some nudes, but not showing all that my mama gave me. The photographer ended up doing a bunch of conservative shots and they just turned out looking like I forgot to button my shirt on the way to the mall. They were so dumb. The only ones I ended up buying were the few that I wore a tasteful white silk nighty. She didn't even want to take pictures of me in that, because she said no one ever likes their more nude pictures. She was so wrong. Your nude is my dream pregnant nude. What a treasure. It's just beautiful. Again, I like a lot of the pictures on Laura's site. I wonder if I could convince my DH to give my sensual pregnancy picture another shot this pregnancy. I think he'd do a better job.

mum2lillie

12-15-2003, 11:14 AM

Claire-you crack me up-forgot to button shirt on way to mall!!! I have to remember that.

DH is an art director in advertising so we used a woman from his agency who was a good photographer, not really professional, but good. We borrowed a friend's studio and dh directed the shots so it was totally fun. Most of them are nudes and we also did some toga type shots with a sheet and he put those in a greek myth picture for me. It's handy living with a graphic designer! This time he's going to bring home the lights from work and a really good digital camera and we're just going to set up a makeshift studio in our house.

I'm already as big as I was in that pic and I'm only 22 weeks. Those pics were taken at about 28 or 30 weeks. I'm scared to see how big I'm going to be in 6 weeks the way I'm growing. I'm already measuring 2-3 weeks ahead of my dates.

I will try to load my pics on our web site so you can see all of the poses and get some ideas maybe. Let you know when I get that done. DH did a good job at airbrushing out my stretch marks and other undesirable body parts!

Quickening

12-15-2003, 03:55 PM

Ooooh, nude pregnancy poses! ?Thanks for putting the idea in my head lol

I already want someone to professionally videotape my next birth - don't want dh doing it... I'd love for someone who knows what they're doing to tape my labour, birth and immediately after! I don't get self conscious and I'm sure the person doing it could stay out of the way!

we have footage of my dd's birth but not very good as my mum was helping the midwife and filming because my 18yo brother who was filming went out for a bit with my dad and 14yr o brother! they missed the birth and were sad about that : /

i think the midwife didnt want males around, just the impression we got from her! she was great but still she could of let them know i was in the pushing stage and called them back! arg.. oh well its uc next time lol no outsiders!

thechrysalis

12-16-2003, 08:57 AM

I had completely forgotten that Laura Shanley's site had that section on there - thanks for bringing it up! Also, mum2lillie, your picture is absolutely gorgeous! I would love to have pregnancy photos but it doesn't look like it will happen this time. With Christmas and all, I'm worried I won't even get my belly cast done!

January is coming quickly and I feel like this baby is doing everything he can to push his way out :) I have so much pressure on my cervix that it makes it hard to stand up sometimes. This is pretty new to me as I never really had this with my dd. I also have tons of contractions. All of it makes me feel good, like my body is doing what it should be doing to prepare for labor.

Other than that, I'm doing fine. The throwing up has subsided and other than an occasional nose bleed, just lots of movement still. And I'm still sleeping pretty well, which I am really happy about. I couldn't sleep at all the last two months with dd. Probably all that worrying about going to the hospital!!

Hope you are all doing good!!

Michelle Leigh

12-16-2003, 11:17 AM

Loved reading all the posts.

I'm newly pregnant---not due til July.

I live in the country and a UC sounds most feasible for me in all reality. My first (dd--now 4) labor went so well wondered we even bothered with going to the hospital. I woke up and went to the restroom and was in transition. We made 90 miles to the hospital. I was 100% effaced and fully dilated, and they were not taking me seriously: "This is your first baby, so calm down. Be patient. What's your social security number?" Enough already.

I would repeat much of that labor and birth in my fantasy delivery. I'd like to wake up rested and have already dilated most of the way without pain, only tight basketball feeling, which happened with dd over a long period of time. This "active labor part" I'd like to be in the warm tub or pool with warm water spraying on me while I sip on blenderized ice. I'd like to listen to soothing classical music and smell wonderful aromatherapy candles. The lights would be somewhat dimmer. I'd have some supportive women around for their love and energy. And I'd like dd, who'll be 4 1/2, almost 5 and dh there. This time, I'll have pics and video! An hour later, the new little one will be here.

I may birth in the water (probably). Dh will cut the cord, and I'll hold the baby.

We'll use the help of the supportive women to clean up, make an herbal soak for my just-labored body, and make a meal and do whatever little things need to be done.

We'll focus on the new baby as a family: mom, dad, big sis, new baby. :love

We'll eat and rest.

I personally liked having a short labor and pushing session, and request that again. This time, I'm interested in learning about hypnobirthing as an alternative to moaning. I liked moaning the first time, but I think it will be very challenging for dd to hear that. She'd probably get very upset. So, this time some grunting while pushing and maybe a few moans but mostly deep breathing.

My dad's mom had 12 children "back in the old days" so having 1 or 2 or 3 like this should be a "piece of cake". Right? LOL

:hippie

ChildoftheMoon

12-16-2003, 01:06 PM

Hello ladies. I have been following your thread for a while now and finally decided to jump in. I am due in July (hi Michelle:wave ) This will be my third baby and my second homebirth. I feel unassisted is the way to go this time. It just feels right. My last birth was blissful and my midwife just hung out, and after attending two births with her this last summer, I really feel for me, I want to and can go it alone. I love being a doula and am excited about becoming a midwife myself (though my philosophies on birth are still changing and forming) but for me, personally, I don't need anyone around. I just read Laura Shanley's book and it helped put a lot of things in my brain in place, things that have been floating around. As I sit here and write, I feel so excited. Most likely I will do my own care as well. I still need to talk with my midwife about my decision, I have not seen her yet. And as I am to start apprenticing with her in February, I need to tell her what is going on as she expects to be attending me. Dh is still a little leary, but we have lots of time to discuss it and he is all for what will make a safe and blissful birth.
Brandi :love

indigolilybear

12-16-2003, 07:04 PM

Brandi--nice to see you here! I had no idea you were leaning this way. good luck.

Is anyone lotus birthing? Just curious. We are planning on doing it again w/this birth.

It's nice to see this thread so active!! :)

ChildoftheMoon

12-16-2003, 07:22 PM

Hi indigo:D Very happy to finally be here. I don't think anyone besides my dh knows my feelings on unassisted. I pretty much keep it to myself, as even having a homebirth with a midwife is :eek to many people around me. Usually hesitant to share my feelings even here on mothering, don't want to sound preachy:LOL I feel so strongly about a woman's ablitly to birth if she would just let go of what she has learned about it from society. It is nice to have a thread with like minded mommies!

Have not thought about a lotus birth yet, have heard a few different definitions of it. Is is born in the caul, or is it letting the placenta naturally fall away from the baby over time?

Brandi:love

2much2luv

12-16-2003, 09:26 PM

Hi ladies. :)
Nothing new here, just checking in. We are doing fine here.
Anyone else nesting in a major way? I'm not really nesting in the cleaning sense, but I completely withdraw from society when I am nearing my due month. I cannot stand to be around anyone at this point. I just want to snuggle safe and warm at home. We have church each week, which isn't too bad because it is easy to avoid conversation there, and then the family Christmas gathering to weather. That will be AWFUL! but i will endure it so my children can spend time with grandma. :rolleyes: Then there's my mother in law...oh, let me vent for a moment.
She comes over about once a week if we don't get down to her house. Not too bad, but not good to me. I am a loner and antisocial and I just don't get why she has to come visit all the time. But anyway, this a woman is so incredibly afraid of birth. I really feel sorry for what she must have gone through with her 7 births but anyway. She comes with this look of pity on her face. She asks the "How are you feeling?" and without giving me a chance to answer or completely ignoring my answer of "Good." says "fat and pregnant, huh?" The rest of the conversation is full of "hanging in there, do you need anything?" blah blah blah....I mean everyone is pretty much annoying at this point..."How are feeling?" is really getting on my nerves. Grrrr....but my MIL is definately the worst. Then this lady at library story time...my dd was wearing her Born at Home shirt so a couple of people asked if she was indeed born at home and I said yes and am i planning that this time. Good conversation...right? Then this woman says, "So you're in good health right, cause you can't do that if you aren't, right?" For some reason this question drove me insane. Of course i am in good health, pregnancy is not a disease. And I can give birth whereever I want no matter what. Like its against the law to birth at home or something!:scratch Anyway, I had a strong urge to announce our uc plans and hash it out with these women but I resisted.
I am breathing now...I just get so sick of the way society feels about pregnancy and birth. The negativity just makes me want to literally puke. I think I will give into my feelings and just stay home for the remaining 5 weeks or so of my gestation.
Ok, sorry for this icredibly self centered and angry post.
Big belly rubs and hugs to everyone!!!
Beth

thechrysalis

12-17-2003, 04:50 PM

What is it with mom's and MIL's?? My mom made a similar comment a few weeks ago, about how I must feel "so fat and unattractive". I was like "gee thanks". I don't feel fat, I feel pregnant and I don't feel unattractive, either - just uncomfortable! Then there are the other people that don't seem to even notice I'm pregnant - too busy to hold the door for a pregnant lady and her toddler, or even step to the side so I can get past. Ugh. I actually had a cashier at Target last week ask me what my problem was because apparently I sighed too loudly when paying!! Geez.

Anyhow, do you guys realize there are 3 of use due the same week in January - me, 2much2luv, and Mothernature? I think that is so cool! Maybe 4 if citizenfong is due mid-late Jan.

Speaking of being due in Jan, if you are planning a waterbirth, when are you setting up your birth pools? I am still dying to set mine up! Not fill it, just set it up. Then I plan on sitting in it and visualizing baby coming. Maybe I'll do it this weekend. I'm sure my dh will think I'm insane :)

mum2lillie

12-17-2003, 05:15 PM

thechrysalis-I was thinking about you being so close and was wondering if you had friends who would do a blessing way for you. Maybe you could get them to do your belly cast and take some nice photos.

We set up our birth pool when I went into labor. It was just a huge kiddie pool. It was funny because we thought it was going to be this really short labor and dh was hurrying to get the water in it which was slowly trickling from the kitchen sink. I ended up hanging out in the pool for a couple of hours and got out and delivered hours later in our bed. I'm still planning on setting one up this time, but it's going to be much smaller because I don't want dh to be responsible for cleaning everything up post-pardum. What a pain. I guess that's the one nice thing about having other people there. Oh well.

Is anyone measuring their fundal height and measuring ahead of their dates? I'm was measuring totally on dates until a week and a half ago. I'm 22 weeks and measuring 25 weeks now. Woo-hoo. Must be a big ol' baby in there!

Spark

12-17-2003, 09:41 PM

Kendall -- My measurements are typically pretty wacky. I did decide to get an U/S this pregnancy at 20-ish weeks and now I'm pleased that I did. I never had a PP AF after Jude was born and when I went to the midwife I was measuring 12-14 weeks (EDD Jan). Thanks to the U/S I found out I wasn't due until mid-March. I'm still measuring pretty far ahead. At 25 weeks, I was measuring 31 weeks. So...I sometimes find myself thinking I might have a Feb baby (on my Birthday pleeeease!), but I don't really think so. I think I'll give birth in March. If I thought I'd give birth and didn't for another 8 weeks, I think I'd be really depressed. Kendall, it's possible that you just are carrying big right now, too. Even though I measured big with Jude he was just a tad over 7#. I kept thinking he was going to a be a nice chunky 10# baby.

Moms and MILs saying "fat" and "huge" things. Yuck! I feel most beautiful pregnant, don't you? It's like this amazing thing is happening under our skin. It's just so cool.

Beth -- sorry you had a run in with the homebirth police! Sounds like you survived their tough interegation tactics despite the swinging light in your face. Sheesh!

Brandi -- So nice to see you here, nursing mama. I hear you on the trusting a woman's ability to give birth. It irks me sometimes to hear others not trust. But, I someitmes wonder how differently I would view birth if I came from a different family or had a less supportive husband or less faith in my body. I may be posting, "Help! Crisis!" every other day.

Welcome Michelle L. Hope you have lots of fun this pregnancy! And, your labor be one that dreams are made of!

2much2luv

12-17-2003, 10:46 PM

I love being pregnant too! After a big ol vent to dh last night I decided I am just going to start being honest with people. "How do you feel? Fat and pregnant?" "No, I feel vibrant and healthy. I love being pregnant! :) " Honestly I am just too nice to people...i need to speak my mind.

I am due at the end of January and I don't know if we'll ever get our pool up. lol I don't picture a water birth at all in my dreams or fantasies, but the water was soooo nice during my last labor that I bought the pool so I could have the option. I suppose we will get it up sometime in those last few antsy weeks. I say go ahead and put it up if you want and play in it. With my last dd we had it up really early too. :)

I started measuring large after my ultrasound around 20 weeks (don't know why I got it, but that's in the past...) I haven't measured myself in forever mainly because I lost my tape measure. :rolleyes: But I remember i measured ahead with my first dd and I know everything is fine so I am not too worried. I was measuring about 2-3 weeks ahead, btw.

Got the ickies here. :( I hope its not the flu, I am just hurting everywhere and sinus headache and a slight fever...all that fun stuff. My youngest dd was sick like this for about a day or two a few days ago so I hope mine goes as quickly.

Belly rubs!
Beth

indigolilybear

12-17-2003, 10:54 PM

We WILL set out tub up early this time!!! In fact, everything will be set up early since DS came so fast last time that DH almost missed it since he and DD were out trying to blow up our birth pool. And I DO want it..........it will be blown up and ready for air probably at least a couple of weeks early. As well as tripod, and everything else I want there, but I really don't want to miss being in a huge tub of water this time. I labored in it w/dd and loved it. And as I said, I really wanted it last time but missed out.

Brandi--lotus birth is not severing the cord. :)

citizenfong

12-18-2003, 08:28 AM

Well, I am NOT measuring big for dates (I'm not actually measuring, just estimating based on feel), but I believe that is because baby is transverse. I may start to measure "big" from side to side if Baby doesn't turn soon! :LOL When I feel Baby lately it is starting to feel like there is baby wrapped around my whole middle!

thechrysalis: I am not due in Jan., thank goodness! I am due in early March (late Feb?) and am currently at the stage of feeling like, Aggghhh! Will I be ready in time?

My good friend who is due 7 weeks after me went in together with me to purchase The Pink Kit (it's pretty expensive). Has anyone here ever heard of it/done it? It's a collection of information about women's bodies and how you can work with your body during labor, like to create more space. For instance, one of the exercises teaches you how to move your sacrum (tailbone) to make more room during birth if your baby is posterior. Anyway, you are supposed to do the exercises for 8 weeks and I realized last night when I brought it home that--I better get crackin'! I really don't have any time to lose.

Brandi: SO glad to see you here!

Okay, fat comments: Last weekend was the above friend's son's birthday party. She is planning on having her baby at her lay mw's house (over the boarder in a state where lay mw's are legal, as opposed to our state) or a Claire-style, Oh, looks like we don't have time to get to the mw's! birth. Her IL's don't know anything about any of this, except that she is seeing mws. So when I got the opportunity to pave the way a bit by sharing my plans, I did. Her MIL says to me, "Well, <FIL's> mother had 7 children at home. She had a pretty easy time, I think. Well, and I would think you would, too, you're not a small girl either!" :rolleyes:

I really don't think she was trying to insult me, but it does crack me up how many people, especially of a certain generation, have no trouble pointing things like that out to you.

Well, back to the Christmas panic. I'm trying to get done as much as I can this week, cause I have to do ALL my gift shopping next week. This Saturday is the big party in Atlanta and we can't buy gifts til we get dh's bonus on Sat.!

BTW, Kendall, I'm wondering if our mutal acquaintance is planning a UC? Do you know? I know she was leaning that way, but her dh was interested in perhaps having a mw on call/backup. Just curious.

mum2lillie

12-18-2003, 10:41 AM

Well, It's nice to know that I'm not the only one measuring big. I know that I was always a week ahead with dd towards the end, but I'm certain I wasn't measuring this large at 22, 23 weeks and I still had a 10 pound baby.

One thing that has concerned me this pregnancy is Gestational Diabetes. I've had a real hard time with sugar. I just can't eat it like I use to, everything makes me feel sick. That's a good thing because I want sugar out of my diet anyway. I don't really have any symptoms of GD except rapid weight gain and it all seems to go straight to belly. Last time people asked me pp if I'd had GD because I had such a huge baby and I gained a lot of weight, but the m/w never mentioned that I could be and I certainly don't think I was. I'm not going to worry about it unless my intuition leads me down that path.

The other thing that crosses my mind is twins, especially when I lie in bed at 4 am and can't sleep because all I feel is baby everywhere. I had a very early positive test at 9 DPO on a dollar store test with this pregnancy and wonder if I had a really high amount of HCG. I felt definate flutters around 8 or 9 weeks. Started having Braxton-hicks non-stop at 13 weeks. All of that could just be second baby stuff right? I guess it's one of those things that you have to wait it out and find out when the time is right.

Tracy-That Pink Kit sounds cool. Is that something you got locally or online? Yes, our mutual acquaintance is planning to UC. It's amazing how many UCs are going on in our little town!

Mothernature

12-18-2003, 10:54 AM

Sorry I haven't been around in a while. I've been getting over the post-flu sinus infection, planning dd's b-day party and getting ready for Christmas. I haven't finished my shopping, but I've decided that most people on our list will be receiving baked goods. I'm making several banana bread loaves, some chocolate toffee, some of my special cookies and my grandmother's fudge. I'll probably get all that started today. I still need to purchase my mother's gift and get it mailed today so they will have it in time. Dh is in charge of his family which lets me off the hook (sort of.) My dh's family also has a tradition of drawing names and making something for the person they draw. They get pretty creative and I drew his mother! I still haven't started so I'm getting a little stressed about it. I may knit her something or sew something, I still don't know.

I haven't been measuring fundal height, but I'm probably right on for dates. My first baby was pretty small, 6'2oz and 21 inches long. I think this one will be bigger, but not much. Thank goddess no one is commenting on my size. How offensive. I am still pretty small though. I started out about 105 pounds so I'm not a big person to begin with. At 8 mos. pg. I can wear size 8 pants, so maybe that's why. Still, I would never say anything like what you ladies are hearing.

I love being pregnant too. I feal so beautiful and womanly. I also don't get the honor of having ample bossom when I'm not pregnant or nursing, so dh (and dd) are enjoying my new body with me. This is the ultimate expression of being a woman. I don't expect to get to do this again either so I'm trying to enjoy it.

I had noticed that some of us were close on dates. What fun to have someone doing this at the same time. 2Much- I hope that you don't get this nasty flu. Maybe it will go easy on you. We don't have time for you to get it as bad as I did. You want to be able to breathe during labor! I'll keep you in my thoughts. Sending healing light your way.

I am having an aqua doula delivered for my birth. We had one with dd and it was wonderful! They are kind of expensive, but they come and set it up and come back after it's over to take it all away! To me (and dh) it's worth it. He in fact, insisted we do it again. I was willing to go the kiddie pool route this time, but he liked the idea of not having to clean it up. He wants the full bonding effect.

I'm getting toddler distracted, so I better go for now. Have a wonderful day!

ChildoftheMoon

12-18-2003, 11:01 AM

Hey thanks for the welcome:D Nice to see so many familiar faces! Sparklin-I think about the other side of birthing too, the fear side. With my first I was kind of like that, I almost had the bliss feeling, but my doc would just laugh and say, oh you'll want the epidural, they all do. And my birth class was such a joke, but it was all so nicely masked with calling it a birth center and family oriented. At the time it was just me and dh, I did not know a soul and had never been on the internet let alone own a computer, I was at the whim of state aid, and like most women, followed what I was told. I had a fairly quick labor and a very healthy big baby, though the doc did things to me without paying attention to my desires. So I feel really passionate when it comes to birth, I feel like I have been on both sides. I was so scared at the hospital, so tense, and then at home with my second, complete bliss, I laughed and smiled during birth, I was strong and capable, the only difference between the two births was that I was in a comfortable place I trusted and my STATE of MIND. How I viewed birth was different. Ok, see, this is what I was afraid of, feeling preachy! But this is what my life is about now. I dream of doing early birth education. Showing women that they do have a choice and that they are capable, it is up to them.

Thanks indigo for clearing that up for me :)

I am so excited for all of you due so soon! I have so long to go! I am not yet wearing maternity clothes, though I don't think that will be too far off :LOL I just can't wait to feel movement, to really know that wee one is in there!
Brandi:love

artemesia

12-18-2003, 12:41 PM

Dh wants to start getting ready for the baby, which I think for him means getting supplies ready. I really haven't given this much thought but I suppose there might be a few things we should have on hand. For those of you who have already UC, what did you find useful to have handy? I think we will be going the kiddie pool route, so I need to order one of those. Anythings else?
I have also been contemplating whether or not to invite one of my close friends to be at the birth. I'm not even sure she would want to be there, and she tends to be a very worry oriented person, but she has always been very supportive of me in whatever I do. On the one hand I think it might be a real bonding time for Dh, Dd and I (and baby of course) which we could really use these days. But Dh has a tendency to be really annoying and pushy during any kind of big moment and I think my friend might balance things out a bit. I guess I'm just thinking out loud. Are any of you having other people at the birth?
My hips are definately spreading out nice and wide. I tried to sit on a little wood stepstool the other day which I can usually just fit into and I shocked to discover that there was just no way I was going to squeeze between the sides. It wasn't just extra fluff, though I'm sure I've packed a bit of that on too, it was my bones.
I have a hard time visualizing anything about the birth, my usually graphic and fertile imagination just draws a blank. I think I have become so committed to just going with the flow that I can't conjure up any pre-concieved notions.

madrone

12-18-2003, 03:34 PM

Oops. DS was helping me post.

mum2lillie

12-18-2003, 03:42 PM

Hi Madrone-good to see you again. Congrats on your pregnancy!!!

madrone

12-18-2003, 03:48 PM

Hi mum2lillie - Happy to be here. There are several of you April mom's here. I think I'm the only August, but maybe that will change sometime.

Sorry for the duplicate posts all. DS is awake and likes my internet time to only be during naptime.

madrone

12-18-2003, 04:04 PM

I would like to join you all. My EDD is Aug 2, so I'm not very far along. I've really enjoyed reading your posts and the birth stories. I've bookmarked the bornfree page and hope DH will read everything there.

I have told my mother that I was planning a UC. The first thing she said was *but do you remember how long it was with DS?* I told her yes, and that was a good reason for a UC. (It was about 17 hours.) She seemed to be okay with it once she learned that the fire department is just around the corner. MIL said *but the hospital is a much better place to have a baby* when I just mentioned a home birth. She has come around with a lot of my weird things, so I expect she'll come around with this. DH is a bit nervous because the midwife did pull DS out once the head was out. He seems to think that it was good she was there because of that. But he had suggested doing it alone with DS earlier and I think readibg will help the fears he has. His other concern is that our house is really small. But it's much bigger than a hospital room. He's also a bit concerned about DS not handling it well. I want DS with me and that's it.

One of the reasons we'll be doing a UC is because no one does home births in this department. There are two midwifes who do pre- and post-natal exams in people's homes. I plan on contacting them and hope to get lots of appointments with them around my EDD. One of the reasons I want that is because I had a tear with DS and had to be stitched up. If I tear this time, I don't want to go to the hospital to get stitches. I have an OB appointment January 15 with the doctor who handled my last miscarriage. He seemed to react well with me being natural before. A doctor would be able to write a prescription for a fetal monitor or doppler. I'm hoping that he will be willing to work with me in doing the things that I want but be okay that I will not be his patient. I had a stethescope when pregnant with DS and was never able to hear anything with that. I don't think that it's a possibility just with a normal stethescope. I kind of like the monitor idea because I thought that gave an actual rate, eliminating the counting. But with dopplers you can actually hear the baby and I don't know that you can with a monitor.

I plan on getting a child's pool to put on the back porch. Since I'm due Aug 2, the days will be very long (18 hours) and so I hope I won't have the problem of it being dark. I really think often of birthing there. Anyone think that birthing outside would present any risk. I guess the one thing that I think is that then we wouldn't be able to really set up the pool in advance because we would want it clean. DH worrries about the neighbors knowing that we are having a baby in the yard. I did hypnobirthing for DS and I was not loud until they stitched me up, when hypnosis went away completely to be replaced by loud, uncontrolable screaming. I did say stuff when I tore also, but I don't think I was that loud. I think my reaction to tearing was part of why the mid-wife pulled DS out at that point. I think she just saw a change in my attitude at that moment. She had not done anything except place the monitor occasionally up to that point.

2much2luv

12-18-2003, 05:07 PM

Hi ladies. :)
Nothing much new, just checking in.
I am feeling quite a bit better today so I have high hopes that this whatever it is will be passing on quickly and that makes me so happy. The only real problem I am dealing with is lack of sleep. I have slept only a few hours the last couple of nights. Its like i just cannot sleep when uncomfortable. But in the wee hours of the morning today my fever broke and today I am feverless and much less achy. I got a good nap and I think I will be able to sleep tonight. :p
I was planning to lay around all day today since I didn't sleep but a few hours in the night but we got a call at 5 this morning that MIL's house was on fire. :eek So I couldn't sleep after that and we headed down as soon as the girls got up around 6 or 7 and helped all morning as much as we could. It was so sad. The house is totaled but it seems they got out most of the photos and important things. They had a wonderful attitude about it all and were just glad that they both made it out alright. It will be strange to not have Grandma's house to go play at anymore. :confused:
Anyway. that was our busy day, but I am just glad to report that i am feeling better and better.
Hugs!
Beth

indigolilybear

12-18-2003, 09:16 PM

Artemesia--
Here are some thoughts on supplies....it mostly depends on your personal "slant" to it, KWIM? I mean, really, you don't *need* anything. We had a kiddie pool, some herbs and Susun Weed's book, Gregory White's book, chux pads, a bulb syringe (won't be doing this route again...). I think that's about it. Also a homeopathic kit and Rescue Remedy. RRL tea, and some juices stocked but most of the stuff, no different than an average homebirth. Oh, depends for afterwards for me. I like to normally use cloth but the first two days or so, there were really convenient as I usually bleed pretty heavily. This time I will also have a sitz bath. Maybe make up some frozen herbal pads beforehand.

The rest as I say, is whatever you would normally have at a homebirth.....music, film, cameras if you want, lots of towels if you're using a tub, baby blankets and clothes easily accessible for quick grabbing, birth ball, you knowl....whatever you want. I HTH. I think the only things I didn't have at DD's birth (an assisted birth) that I had at DS's (our freebirth) was the herbs. Oh and we lotusbirthed DS so we had a few supplies for that that were different.

I would say a good place to start is with the average HB list and then add what you want or might want from something like Susun Weed's book.

artemesia

12-18-2003, 09:28 PM

Thanks for the advice Indigo, it definatley gives me something to go on. I intuitively don't feel like I need much, but I'm also the type of person who will get deep into a project and then realize some little thing that would make life so much easier.
Dh stocked up on every concievable herb for birth when our local herb shop went out of bussiness (which I really miss:( ), so I'm sure I'm covered on that end, but that's Dh's area of expertise not mine.

citizenfong

12-19-2003, 07:04 AM

Kendall: We got it online. With shipping it's $85, so I think it helps to split the cost with someone else if you can! Here's the link:
http://www.commonknowledgetrust.com/birthing_kit.htm

Beth: So sorry to hear about the fire! How horrible! I hope everyone is okay.

TrishWSU

12-19-2003, 10:09 PM

Hi everyone! I'm so happy I found this thread. I'm not pg or even planning it for 3-5 years, but I know that I definetly want a uc next time. I had a wonderful mw assisted hb with dd (in fact uc seemed very scary while I was pg) but now I know I can do it by myself with my family there for support (I really want dd to be there.) I might try to seek out a mw who will be willing to be a back-up support and come after baby is born to weigh and measure (just cuz I HAVE to know).

Or I might just have my mom there. She's been a RN for 30 years and has actually caught many babies (including twins in a car) b/c docs couldn't get to the hospital on time (night shift). She was totally against out-of-hospital births and liscened mw (since they don't have 'medical' training) but my sis had her babe in a freestanding bc with a LM and I had a HB w/ a LM, so now she thinks its pretty cool. Plus my sis and I fed her lots of info on why HB was safe and most of the routine prenatal and hospital procedures are not necessary. Another sis (I have 3) is planning her 2nd VBAC in Feb (V-day!) and is hoping/planning on not making it to the hospital, which is over an hour away and my mom's totally onboard for helping out if sis wants. I'm hoping that she ends up with her uc. It would be a great ending after three not so ideal births (2 c/s and one medically managed VBAC.)

Anywho, I've totally rambled beyond belief. I'll be regulary watching this thread, eagerly awaiting the upcoming births, and gathering ideas and support for my uc in the future. All of you ladies are awesome for believing in yourselves.

Happy birthing!

Mothernature

12-20-2003, 06:29 AM

Hi Trish! Love your post. It's encouraging to see someone who isn't even pg yet looking into UC. Right on!

Kendall: Here is a link for birthing kits that are much more reasonable. I think the top model is $40 and if you like you can piece it together for even less. http://inhishands.com/html/ordermain.html
Again, I'm with you, not sure what I'll need or want during the birth but not wanting to forget anything either. This site has herbs and sitz baths too if you want. Shoot, she even has born at home t-shirts. I could really go overboard, but that's really not the idea here now is it?

I don't think we'll be lotus birthing because I think I want to make the tonic on this site: http://www.unhinderedliving.com/childbirth.html. I can't get the link to work this morning, but it's the second to the last choice. It says you have to do it pretty quickly after the birth so I'm going to have my friend mix it up while dh and I bond (if it doesn't gross her out- she's vegan.) We rent, so planting the placenta here doesn't really have any sentimental value to me. Last time I was so stupid I donated the placenta to a man who trains search dogs.:rolleyes: I expect to have a better plan this time around.

madrone

12-20-2003, 07:00 AM

I've read the things in the birth kits and am just wondering, are you all planning to use gloves? I had thought about it before. The midwife had DH wear gloves when he was applying oil to my perineum before, but I ended up starting to apply it wear I tore because I felt so much pressure there and DH didn't seem to be applying there and I didn't have gloves on. I know that infection used to be a big risk factor during childbirth, but do we really need everything to be sterile? If I'm outside like I want, it will be somewhat difficult to control.

Quickening

12-20-2003, 02:12 PM

I think some mw take the sterility thing too far! As long as your/dh's hands are clean, its not an issue. I requested that my mw wash her hands often and not use gloves. If she was going to touch my baby I didn't want the baby to feel icky gloved hands on her!

Just use commonsense about being clean - homebirths are great, you're already used to the household germs etc and you can cope with them!

Infection was a big risk factor because of unhygenic practices - not using clean instruments, not washing hands regularly, not maintaining healthy habits, and i think infection today is still a risk more so in hospital than at home because of all those resistant germs!

madrone

12-20-2003, 03:09 PM

Glad to hear your response. My DH can just wash his hands then.

wildthing

12-21-2003, 12:47 AM

Well, I have ben meaning to join this thread, and finally got around to it. :)

My name is Donna, and I am expecting baby #8 in June sometime. We have had our last four babies at home with a mw. My story goes~for all four hbs, dh wanted to have a uc. I was too afraid, so we had a mw. Mw pissed me off and took control of my last birth, making it harder than it should have been. Dh saw it as difficult, complicated, etc, and now he is nervous about uc. Sooooooo.....I actually found a uc supportive mw near me, and I told her from the beginning that I don't want her (nice, huh! :LOL ) She actualy understands, I met her on another list I am on. Anyway, she knows the only reason I contacted her was for dh. I told her I do not want or need any prenatal care. She said fine. I told her I don't want her there for the birth. She said fine. I have been talking more to dh the last few days about his fears. A lot has come out.
What I am trying to impress on him, is that I do not need him to be a stand-in midwife. I am completely capable of giving birth by myself (which I am not at all opposed to doing either, meaning a solo birth) and that he doesn't have to catch or anything if he isn't comfortable. That seemed to help a bit. Well, it's a work in progress. :)

I am planning on buying a few videos, A Clear Road to Birth, and one other one I saw on a website that had 7 or 8 ucs on it. I will be getting more pregnant nudes done again. I have gotten them done 4 times. last time, they were done outside in December, 4 weeks before my baby was born. this time it will be late May....should be nice.

I see a few familiar faces. This is such a great thread, and I look forward to chatting with you all. :)

mum2lillie

12-21-2003, 09:23 AM

It's good to see you here Wildthing. 8 babies-wow. That's amazing! I like your take on your dh not being a stand in m/w. I recently had a conversation with a m/w who doesn't support UC and one of her reasonings is that she feels the dh already has so much going on emotionally during the labor, etc. that it's not right to make him do the "m/w" work. Well, at the time I couldn't think of a comeback to that, but truelly I feel like you do. I'm totally capable of birthing on my own. I'm not asking dh to do the work. I honestly feel like I could do it alone even if he wasn't around. Laura Shanley did it and a whole lot of other women, I'm sure! Thanks for taking the words right out of my mouth!

You know, this is a good thread, I was thinking the same thing. There was a thread like this a couple of years ago, and it ended up really giving me support to make my decision to UC w/ this baby. I even found one of my now best friends because of it and she lives in my city. She's had 2 UC babies. I'm glad we are all here for support and I really like the positive energy here. Thanks!

Mothernature

12-21-2003, 09:43 AM

Wildthing- your post was inspiring to me. Eight births is just impressive anyway. I now need to speak to dh about feeling confident that he won't need to be a stand in midwife. I was planning to have my friend here to do some Reiki massage and help distract dd if need be. She was soooo wonderful at my last birth, (and unobtrusive) she was also the one who snuck the pictures in while I was not paying attention. She was pretty stealth and yet a total blessing. She lives in Florida and plans to spend the month of Jan. here instead of coming at the holidays so she can be here for the birth. She even plans to help me get my house ready. You can't wish for a better friend. I don't think her presence will make this any less UC, but it will take the pressure off dh a little. He is sooo cute, he borrowed an oxygen tank (mini sized) and a bag from the hospital he works at to have at the birth so we can have it "just in case." He is a Respiratory Therapist and just finished a CE course on neonatal recessutation and now wants to feel prepared. He told me last night that now, no one can say we're any less prepared than we would be if we had a mw. I hated to tell him that we really won't need it. If it makes him feel more secure then it's fine with me.

This thread is truly becoming a blessing to me. Thank you all for being so wonderful and supportive. I think once Christmas is over I will really get to focus on this new little babe and our growing family instead of stressing over extended family and packages/cards/baking... you get the idea.

thechrysalis

12-21-2003, 12:26 PM

When I finally sat my dh down to discuss UC, I found out that that was his big fear - that I would want him to act as midwife and he wouldn't know what to do. I reassured him that if I wanted a mw, I would have one and that I really didn't expect anything from him, just support when I needed it and help getting things ready (birth pool, etc.)

Someone mentioned the little "Born at home" tshirts from In His Hands - I bought one of those! It is so cute but so tiny! I think I've forgotten how tiny babies really are. As far as birth supplies go, I didn't get a kit, just a few things here and there that I wanted. I didn't necessarily think I needed them, per se, but just to have them on hand. I have the birth pool (blow up fishy kind), electric pump to blow it up with (already had that), some clean towels, some cheapo vinyl tablecloths to put under the pool, a pack of pads - like chux pads - that I got at Walmart, and some homeopathic stuff like Shepards Purse and others that I already had (like arnica and pulsatilla). That's about it.

I've been having visions lately of birthing the baby right next to the birth pool instead of in the water, into a little nest of towels. I guess we will see how I feel once the time comes :)

indigolilybear

12-21-2003, 08:19 PM

Hi Donna!! Nice to see you here!!! :) I am just curious who you found that is freebirth-supportive? You could PM me. Just being nosey. ONe friend I know found one in your area and I am curious if it is the same one.

Catching up on posts--(wow! there's a lot--it's so great!)
No, we're not using gloves, nor did we last time.

I wanted to add an "amen" to the DH as MW thing. While I would love his support/presence--and have wanted it more than I have had it in the past two births--I also had a realization w/our last preg. when puzzling over DD"s needs when I realized that *DH* could take care of her, since I could indeed birth by myself!! I would like to feel an intimacy and have a loving "lover" type birth this time, but yes, I *can* birth by myself. In fact I did last time. I am big believer in the idea that you respond to whatever situation you have....like if you have a flat tire and you are alone vs. w/your auto-mechanic DH, KWIM? It's just a sense of doing what you have to do. And you will. For me personally, when my MW"s walked in the room, I gave up a LOT of my power/control if not all of it....trusting that because they were MW"s that they would not treat me "wrong". It took a while to sort through the anger of that birth, and to take responsibility for my part in it.....which ulitimately was reallly all mine, kWIM? *I* could've tuned them out or fired them at any point. And really, they weren't "bad"...I had a great birth. BUt my positions were told to me, my DH who knew some of my ideas for birthing, was ignored and relegated to a kind of 'errand boy', etc. And all in all, they did a great job from their perspective. It was just not empowered in the way I wanted.

We'll see what happens this time, but I still have the "couple's birth" fantasy. I am not sure where the kids fit in.....we had a really tough year as a couple and I think it would be really healing. BUT I am also a big believer of children at births so I'm not sure what I will plan. Most likely I will just see how it goes and if the kids are awake, they will be there if they want. I just am not sure. And I am a big overplanner so I think I might just give this up to the goddess and am sure it will be perfect!

WEll happy holidays and joyous winter solstice!!

mum2lillie

12-21-2003, 09:37 PM

I'd like to add a Merry Solstice to everyone and happy dreaming on the longest night of the year!!!

ChildoftheMoon

12-22-2003, 12:07 PM

Hi Donna:wave Glad you found this thread! Welcome:love

I just want to thank you all for this wonderful thread. I feel like I am in a good place because of it! Wishing you all a wonderful rest of the year, I may not be around much for the rest of it.

Brandi:love

stretchmark

12-22-2003, 02:35 PM

Hi, I am glad this forum is here. I am due in March with my second. My first was a 26 week c-section due to placental insufficiency. I am 26 weeks now so I am moving into uncharted territory for myself. Exciting! I am planning a UC also. I have to make it to 36 weeks or else I may not feel so comfortable. I have a unicornuate uterus with an early transverse incision. My docs put my risk for rupture slightly higher than the general population but that just isn't scarring me. What does scare me is having doctors who have all told me that there is no reason I can't birth vaginally and in the same breath saying they want to do a pretty c-section and have a look at my kidneys.
Each time I imagine birth the image is of ease, pleasure, and basically no one else around. I have an extremely introverted personality and people really do affect me, usually in not-so-positive ways. So I even get the feeling that having a midwife here could make things different.
I am still having ultrasounds now and then to check my cervix and I will go through with midwifery care until the end. I do plan on letting my midwife know that I don't want her here for the birth but plan on calling her shortly afterwards to check the babe and give a vitamin K shot.
I have been through such an internal process around this birth. I was almost resigned to a c-section a month ago, then decided on homebirth, and am now gung-ho for UC.
I didn't get a chance to read all the posts but I do have to say one thing that has been so true for me. Intention is powerful and what arises from within holds so much information. I used to read these stories about "women knowing how to birth" and all that kind of stuff and just didn't buy any of it. I thought, sure those with normal uteruses with children not saved by western practices may know how to give birth, but I feel safe with a surgeon. Thankfully I have had some time to process my beliefs and get quiet and see what my body feels.
I have to admit I am terrible at keeping up on these discussions but will drop by every now and then.
THanks
TIff

Spark

12-25-2003, 01:12 PM

Ooh, ooh! I got a great Christmas gift last night! Just thought I'd hop on to post about it real quick. My mom bought me "A Clear Road to Birth." http://www.freebirth.com/video.htm And, after present opening we watched it. (FYI it's a video about women who've chosen freebirth/UC) It was so moving and so beautiful. My son watched it with us. He kept saying, "Baby!" I have not been planning on him being present for this baby's birth, because I wanted to make sure my focus was on breathing my baby into the world...but after seeing the siblings attend the births and how peacefully the freebirths were, I find myself reconsidering. Maybe I'll simply say that we'll play it by ear. Oh, the photos and interviews were wonderful. The births so amazing. The babi