My last pregnancy ended in a loss before it ever got started. I never even saw a MW, but saw an OB who eventually did my D&C. I started this pregnancy with the same OB/GYN who helped me with that. I was considering a hospital birth with her. My very first appointment confirmed my concerns about her practice and I will not be continuing with her.

We met a midwife last night and will be going with her and having another HB.

I have another appt scheduled with the OB. Do I just cancel it and not tell them I'm "breaking up" with them? Or do I write a letter or have a conversation with the OB and tell her why? My biggest problem was with her nurse and the way everything was handled at my first appointment.

I would just call and cancel the appt. When they ask if you'd like to reschedule, you just say, "No, not right now, thanks." Usually, that's all you'll get. When I changed from an OB to a midwife, I overthought it and then realized...I'm not special to that dr. He'll never think about me again. Which would have been true had my midwife not sent over a request for my records. I got a nasty letter about using a midwife and not to call him if there were any troubles.LOL It confirmed my thoughts about him anyway.

Good luck! I'd NEVER go back to an OB if I didn't have to.

I think you should write a letter explaining your decision and the problems you had with that office. You hired them to provide you good care and just like any other business, you need to let them know that the service they provided was inadequate. I am sure you are not the only one that has had problems with that office and the doctor needs to know and maybe they will make changes. But if you don't let them know there is a 100% chance that things will go on like they have been.

Lisa

I think you should write a letter explaining your decision and the problems you had with that office. You hired them to provide you good care and just like any other business, you need to let them know that the service they provided was inadequate. I am sure you are not the only one that has had problems with that office and the doctor needs to know and maybe they will make changes. But if you don't let them know there is a 100% chance that things will go on like they have been.

Lisa

I agree except I don't think you're obligated to do this at all. But if you want to do the office and potentially other patients a favor, doing so would be very nice. But whether you want to do that favor is up to you.

I would write the letter. I had a less than adequate experience with a dental hygenist that worked for my dentist of 18 years. I wrote the letter and he followed up with a phone call thanking me for the letter and telling me he wished more people would take the time to talk to him about his staff. He said if he wasn't aware of the problems, he couldn't fix them. I am less confident of your OB's positive reaction, but you should write the letter because I would think you would want to receive the letter if the tables were turned.

I agree that you should write the letter, just in case there's any chance they care about their patients' experiences. They'll never change if they don't know there's a problem. Plus it might make you feel good to get everything off your chest!

Write a letter, but I would leave the HBing out. They don't need to know, and you don't need the stress if they try to harass you about it.

Hmmm....thinking I might not write the letter if I want to keep her as my GYN.

Hmmm....thinking I might not write the letter if I want to keep her as my GYN.

That would be exactly why you should write the letter. The staff member that treated you badly will still be there, and her attitude will not have changed at all.

I think you should write a letter explaining your decision and the problems you had with that office. You hired them to provide you good care and just like any other business, you need to let them know that the service they provided was inadequate. I am sure you are not the only one that has had problems with that office and the doctor needs to know and maybe they will make changes. But if you don't let them know there is a 100% chance that things will go on like they have been.

I agree. More than likely your MW will request the records from them anyway so they are going to know they were "dumped". I'm all for writing letters, it is the only way to get things changed.

You could write the letter and not include anything about the hb. My MW didn't want or ever ask to get my records from my previous OB so that may not be an issue. But letters do help them to know what's going on with their staff and will do a lot more good than just a phone call complaint.

If you just want to walk away, just call and cancel your appt. If they inquire any further, tell them that you are seeking care elsewhere. That's how I "fired" one OB who wasn't VBAC supportive.

If you want to try to change something (the nurse) at the office, then you can write a letter explaining why you won't be returning.

so I would call and cancel and then follow up with a letter- communication may make a change- or it may not but not saying anything will only get you out of there.

I would just call and cancel the appt. When they ask if you'd like to reschedule, you just say, "No, not right now, thanks." Usually, that's all you'll get. When I changed from an OB to a midwife, I overthought it and then realized...I'm not special to that dr. He'll never think about me again. Which would have been true had my midwife not sent over a request for my records. I got a nasty letter about using a midwife and not to call him if there were any troubles.LOL It confirmed my thoughts about him anyway.

This exactly. Except it was my primary care doc that outed me to my old OB. i got a letter stating the ACOG's position on HB adn a few other scare tactics. Basically, I would first get a copy of any records from this pregnancy so far, then cancel your next appt and say you will call back when you know more about your schedule. Then just let it drop.

After my miscarriage, I "fired" my midwife. I went in after everything was complete and I was mentally ready and requested my records. I didn't explain anything nor did they ask. It was just understood I would be seeking care elsewhere for my next pregnancy.