in AP parenting. I want to know what your daily life is like. things to help me get going. i would greatly appreciate it!

Ap should really be called instinctual parenting. it's just about doing what is natural and what really feels right for the parents once you can get past all the mainstream b.s.
The Attachment Parenting Book by Dr. Sears is a good place to get the basics.
Good luck and welcome to MDC!

Ap should really be called instinctual parenting. it's just about doing what is natural and what really feels right for the parents once you can get past all the mainstream b.s.
The Attachment Parenting Book by Dr. Sears is a good place to get the basics.
Good luck and welcome to MDC!

:yeah:

I'd actually get the Baby Book by Dr. Sears. It has the same attachment info as the above book, plus lots of other goodies (development, babyproofing, medical info, sleep, etc). The Dr. Sears website is a good source too.

When you first become a mom, it can be very overwhelming, emotionally and physically, not to mention the surge of hormones going all thru your body. And just like when you're pregnant, everyone has all sorts of advice. Take it with a grain of salt. I think the best thing I did was just hang on and listen to that little voice inside that told me what I should or shouldn't be doing. You have to find what works best for you and your family.

Also, it helps to remember we are all perfectly imperfect and meant to be that way. Otherwise we'd never learn anything new.

The best thing I read shortly after my DD was born:

"The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep." -Author unknown

well im no professional but this is how we do it- almost 6mo

wake up (already together in bed), have some slow waking up snuggles and nursing

get up carry baby to bathroom, pee holding her on my lap (trying to do EC, but having a hard time...) go into the kitchen holding her, start the coffee- she likes being involved with the filters, cups, crinkly bags

return to bed for breakfast and let her play sitting (still a little off balance so the bed is a good soft place)

get dressed put her in the wrap for around the house stuff or ergo for out of the house stuff (just growing into the ergo)

rest of the day is with her on me, or sitting right near me in her chair. she likes to watch and be involved in what we are doing- holding things, playing with whole vegis, wet laundry etc.

she gets tummy time on the flloor on a mat when im near by doing something, usually yoga

as long as she is with us she is happy :)

When my son was a baby, I found that most of AP was very "easy" and "convenient" in that it worked with what our bodies naturally do. The best example is sleeping: My baby was next to me in the bed, so when he woke and cried because he was hungry, I heard him very quickly; without even getting fully awake, I could open my PJ top and feed him nutritionally balanced food at the proper temperature. :thumb

My main guiding philosophy is that I'm showing my child how to be my kind of person. I just set an example and assume that he'll want to do what I do and be included in my activities. Works pretty well.

As for daily life, my son is 4 years old now. I still wake up next to him almost every day. Usually he goes back to sleep after my alarm, and I get into the shower. As soon as he wakes, he comes looking for me; through the shower door I see him come into the bathroom and go over to use the toilet and wash his hands all by himself! :love Then he hangs around talking to me and playing with his tub toys on the floor. I get dressed while my partner gets the kid dressed. We have breakfast; at this stage he likes to watch "Martha Speaks" on PBS during breakfast, and my partner and I appreciate the chance to read our newspapers while we eat. My kid and I walk to the bus stop. We take 2 busses to get to his preschool, and I read to him on the bus and while waiting at stops; right now we're reading Farmer Boy by Laura Ingalls Wilder. At his school I need to stay about 10 minutes while he warms up to being there. Then we have a goodbye ritual: hug, hold both hands and shake 3 different ways, "a big hug for my very special [name] to last alllll day," and then he waves as I go out the door. I have a full-time job. When I pick him up in the evening, he wants to show me whatever he's doing at school, and sometimes he wants me to do it with him for a few minutes before he's ready to pack up and go home. Often he has stashed a few things in his cubby (like scraps from a craft) that he shows me as he tells me about how he got these things, and then we have to bring them home so he can tell Daddy about them. We read on the bus going home. In the evening I often try to get him to spend time with Daddy, just because I've been with him on the bus and I need to focus on my chores at home, but sometimes he helps me with the chores: He likes to put ingredients into the bowl or pan, stir, hang laundry on the low part of the drying rack, and slosh dishes in the soapy water (which does help them get clean, and sometimes he'll use the cloth and wash a dish quite well!). At bedtime, a parent reads him stories in his bed and lies with him until he's asleep. Sometimes I'll just go to sleep then and stay there all night; sometimes I get up to spend time with my partner or finish chores, and then I go to bed with my partner in our bedroom, but typically around 4am I'll hear my son calling me and go finish the night with him. So that's how AP looks for us now--I still like it! :)

:yeah:

I'd actually get the Baby Book by Dr. Sears. It has the same attachment info as the above book, plus lots of other goodies (development, babyproofing, medical info, sleep, etc). The Dr. Sears website is a good source too.

When you first become a mom, it can be very overwhelming, emotionally and physically, not to mention the surge of hormones going all thru your body. And just like when you're pregnant, everyone has all sorts of advice. Take it with a grain of salt. I think the best thing I did was just hang on and listen to that little voice inside that told me what I should or shouldn't be doing. You have to find what works best for you and your family.

Also, it helps to remember we are all perfectly imperfect and meant to be that way. Otherwise we'd never learn anything new.

The best thing I read shortly after my DD was born:

"The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep." -Author unknown

This is some of the best advice I have ever heard. Very well put. Wish someone had told me this 6 years ago. I would have been much more confident in my parenting choices.

When ds was a baby, I didn't know what AP was .. but I guess I did it. I just did what felt right. :shrug:

It felt natural to hold him, have him near me at night, to feed on demand. Of course after finding message boards, I learned about cloth diapering and was hooked.

Now that he's older AP is about keeping a connection with him, open communication and our close relationship.

AP parenting is the best! It's so easy and fun and snuggly!

So, first thing is you wanna try and have an unmedicated birth. Main reason is to make it easier to start breastfeeding off good. Don't be too worried if the unmedicated part doesn't happen, I couldn't do it and Sam bf like a champ.

2nd is the breastfeeding. No schedule - total feed on demand. Even if they demand all the time, just stick with it - it gets easier and less frequent. Frequent feedings get your milk up. A lot of your first days will be spent bf and working on the latch. Don't do what I did and figure you'll let baby do whatever at first and work on latch later. I ended up with cracked nipples. Work on latch right from start and you should be able to avoid any pain. Drink lots and lots of fluids and make everyone possible wait on you. My husband made me wonderful spinach and mushroom omelets that tasted like heaven while I was bf. I was so hungry! Don't have an end date in mind for breastfeeding, just keep going until it doesn't work for you or your baby anymore. Sam bf 18 months but probably would have gone longer if I hadn't gotten pregnant. If you end up needing to bottle feed, hold your baby in the nursing position instead of propping the bottle. Try to keep the same focus on your baby that you would have if nursing. Try not to beat yourself up if nursing doens't work - it doens't for everyone. The main thing is to keep baby nourished and keep up the relationship - you can do that with bottle feeding. No solids till at least 6 months but consider baby led solids (BLS) instead of typical starting with mashed cereal right away.

Next - would be co-sleep. Looks like you are already planning that according to your sig. Some tips - I personally think you can ignore what they say about not putting baby in middle. DP ain't gonna sleep at all much less sleep so deep he'll roll over baby. (sorry for assuming if there is no DP or if DP is a she.) If you can sidecar a crib to the bed, that makes it easier for baby and you to have space during the time baby is not bf. I was able to sleep so much better once we did that. At first, it is hard to get comfy with baby right next to you. You may have some back pain from kind of sticking your butt out to make room. You'll end up finding a comfy position though. Don't worry about getting your baby to sleep through the night. It sounds like heavan but it usually doesn't happen till way later - took Sam 18 months. Ignore anyone who says to let your baby cry it out.

Babywearing - I started with a sling but the one shoulder thing hurt my back so I switched to a wrap - it was a Moby wrap - nice and soft and stretchy. I would tie it on in the morning and was able to take Sam in and out during the day as needed. Great for errands and way better than trying to lug around the bucket seat. I had Sam in front and a backpack style diaper bag in back. Total hands free! It is just so wonderful to have the baby snuggled there. You will be addicted to the smell of your baby's head. I used to take whiffs like it was a drug. :) Your baby can take naps in whichever carrier you use. Eventually, you will get proficient at removing baby while sleeping in case you want to take a load off :) When awake, your baby will let you know when he/she does not want to be in the carrier usually by squirming first then crying. When baby is awake and doesn't want to be in the carrier, that is good times to play and interact with your baby. At first you'll probably just sit and hold him/her and stare at each other. Eventually, you'll move on to floor play and toys. Don't be obsessed with tummy time - I know some people / books obsess on it but many babies don't like it and there's no reason to force it on them. Sam hated it but when he started to roll over on his own, he spent plenty of time on his tummy and crawled just fine. Try to stay away from playpens and other things that artificially confine your baby (babywearing doesn't count.) They only impede exploring and development. Save them for when you gotta go to the bathroom or eat or stuff like that. You can do chores while wearing the baby. I ate alot while wearing Sam too and he always had food on his head :)

Every time baby cries and seems to want to be picked up, pick baby up. It's not possible to spoil a baby. Don't listen to anyone who says it is. They are wrong. Snuggle baby all you want - not possible to snuggle too much unless baby protests. I totally let Sam decide everything when he was an infant. He was in charge and was training me. I just did whatever he wanted when he wanted and it worked out perfectly. You'll get very adept at learning your baby's cues. This isn't specifically AP but I highly recommend keeping an exercise ball handy. You can put baby in carrier and sit on it and bounce - guaranteed nap or settle down at least.

Try not to have to leave your baby - especially during those first weeks. Take baby with you as much as possible. Relatives and such may want to babysit for you and not want you around. I don't know why this happens but it does. Let them know that you come together and that babysitting will have to wait - but they can do your laundry and visit :)

That is all I can think of for now. Someone's borrowing my copy of The Baby Book so I can't check to see if I hit everything. Main thing is - Trust Yourself! Don't listen to those people that would try to undermine your efforts. Unfortunately, there's a lot more mainstreamers out there than there are APers. Head over to Finding Your Tribe if you haven't been already to try to find a local AP playgroup. We have one here in RI and it is wonderful! I hate to think the bad decisions I may have made if I didn't always have these wonderful Mommas as examples. Maybe if there isn't one, you can start one - just takes one post looking for people. Sometimes, bad advice can come from those close to you. It sucks to try to get them to see things your way - try to keep some research on hand so they understand why you are making the choiscs you make.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and coming baby! I can honestly say that raising my son the AP way was the best decision I have made as a parent and I can't wait to start again with my baby girl. My son is such a happy child and so independant and curious and willful - I totally credit AP for helping to bring this all out of him in such a wonderful way. Ok - I need to stop now before I exceed some type of limit or something...feel free to PM me if you have any questions - this is a subject I never get tired off :)

You are all soo wonderful! You make me more and more excited to do this. With much more confidence anyway! I dont have a lot of family support, so this will be nice to have. Kepp it coming, I'm lovin it! :notes: