Military Moms - March-April '09!

[KatieJD]

Welcome to a new month, ladies! And welcome to any new gals I missed!

[MangoMommy]

Aloha!! Thanks for starting the new thread! :)

[Alohamelly]

:wave

[Soul-O]

:wave

My DH graduates from MIBOLC (phase three of officer training) this month, and I am pretty darned tired of his being gone right now. The kids have certainly had enough of me as solo parent as well. I know all of you can relate :wink. We're moving up to Ft. Lewis around April 1, so I'm very excited about getting settled in our new community, and having DH for a cook again :eat:!

What's happening in Mar/Apr for all of you?

[Mommyofalmost6]

Hi ladies :) I know I didnt post much in the other thread, I tend to be on the shy side. We got a look at the hubsters new station yesterday. We have new orders for June/July. We will have to PCS not long after the baby is born. I am a bit frazzled over the whole thing.

[lisa_nc]

Hola, mamas! Still chuggin' through this darned deployment. :wink

[marlne]

Hello!:D
We're still stuck here on Recruiting duty.. Will be for two and a half more years.lol

[dirtyhipegirl]

Hey ladies

it is finally getting warm enough here in Italy for us to go exploring. I can't wait to get out and see everything. We have been cooped up in the house for months. My dh was in Korea all year last year and it sucked so I am feeling so blessed and lucky to be here. We are getting ready to celebrate our 6th anniversary. We are going to Florence to see Bob Dylan, my favorite. I can't wait:joy:

[kirstenb]

Hello all!

We just finished up a month of leave. DH picks up a new recruit class on Friday so he is back to work today. Once Friday comes he will be back to working crazy hours so we won't be seeing him much until June.

[Shy0717]

Hi all!! DF and I are looking forward to getting married and becoming parents early this summer. I'm learning so much about the Army and can honestly say I'm at a loss with all the abbreviations lol. We're currently living apart (except for the weekends) since he's stationed in OK and I'm in TX. I am curious though to get some opinions from some of you mamas. If you had to reccommend insurance do you think the Tricare standard or prime is better??? Thanks mamas :).

[Rowansmama]

Hi all!

I'm very new to the boards and just found this group. My DH is in the Canadian army. He's on a course right now and we'll be finding out where we're going to be posted in June very soon! I'm looking forward to being settled after a rough few years (deployment to afghanistan, many moves, etc). Just wanted to say hello!

[lisa_nc]

Shy, I would go with Prime unless you end up needing to go to Standard because you have issues with something.

[Shy0717]

Thanks Lisa!! I knew there was one I'd heard everyone talking good things about but wasn't sure which one it was.

[Soul-O]

Shy, I would go with Prime unless you end up needing to go to Standard because you have issues with something.

ITA Shy. Prime covers everything 100%. Definitely look into http://www.tricare.mil/mybenefit/index.jsp for more information.

[Maluhia]

I love Standard.... Prime annoys me to no end.

[Soul-O]

I love Standard.... Prime annoys me to no end.

I think it depends upon the situation, and I could understand why you would say that!

Prime is more like a traditional HMO - everything is covered 100%, but very "managed care", so if you want anything out of the ordinary (i.e. acupuncture, chiro, naturopath etc.) and/or want to choose your providers and self-refer, forget it. However, for my family, because there are so many of us, and because I have some health issues for which I need traditional medicine, I've been very happy with Prime. When we were a civilian family with "good" group medical coverage through our corporate employers, we paid at least $5,000 per year in premiums, co-pays, and deductibles. With Prime, we have paid a total of approx. $60 (for formulary meds not carried in the MTFs) in the past 3 years, and I've had some serious expenditures (i.e. CT scans, MRIs, ambulance trips, expensive meds, 5 day NICU stay for my youngest DS etc.), so without Prime, we'd be out some serious $$, although Standard would still cover more than a traditional PPO group plan through an employer.

[lisa_nc]

I think Prime's a good starting point while you figure out how the system works. I'd rather be figuring out for free than with a copay. :wink

[Soul-O]

I think Prime's a good starting point while you figure out how the system works. I'd rather be figuring out for free than with a copay. :wink

That's a good way to put it. Start out with Prime, then feel your way into something else if you need to.

[Alohamelly]

We're on Prime and I get to choose our doctors as long as they accept Tricare so I wouldn't go with Standard. I was going to go with Standard until I found out that I could choose the pedi my kids see and I'm very happy with everything!

[Soul-O]

We're on Prime and I get to choose our doctors as long as they accept Tricare so I wouldn't go with Standard. I was going to go with Standard until I found out that I could choose the pedi my kids see and I'm very happy with everything!

Melly: Do you have a recommendation for a Ft. Lewis area Ped and/or Family Practice MD? Hopefully delayed vax friendly, although that's probably asking too much in the Army :o.

Thanks!

[Alohamelly]

Melly: Do you have a recommendation for a Ft. Lewis area Ped and/or Family Practice MD? Hopefully delayed vax friendly, although that's probably asking too much in the Army :o.

Thanks!

Yes! This is where we go: http://www.fircreekpediatrics.com/ We see a Nurse Practitioner, but she's really great.

I had to go to Madigan and sign a paper saying we were going off-post for our care but it was very easy.

[beachgirl]

I just tried to post this and somehow lost my message! If anyone knows whether I should post this in a different thread, please let me know!

I am trying to be released from the MTF that I was automatically assigned to for my maternity care. It is far from my house and my husband is deployed to Iraq for the entire year (the pregnancy was a surprise). My support network lives an hour in the opposite direction from the MTF, so I really don't want to have to be seen there for my prenatal care.

I am on Tricare Prime, which of course complicates the situation, and would prefer not to switch.

Does anyone have experience being released from a MTF for maternity care while staying on tricare prime? I was told to write a letter to the head OB and am trying to draft it right now. Does anyone have letters or bits of letters they might be able to send my way to give me some ideas? I will state the case as plainly as possible and in my mind it is very convincing, but I'm not sure how formal to make it, any procedural-related points I should mention, etc.( for instance, I mentioned that if complications should arise for some reason, I don't want to have to drive 45 mins to an hour several times a week to the MTF) - things like that.

Any help or advice would be most appreciated! Thank you.

[Shy0717]

Thanks for the replies everyone!! They helped tremendously as did that website (thanks Soul-o). I think Prime is what we'll go with and then we'll just figure out as we go if that will work.

[lisa_nc]

I just tried to post this and somehow lost my message! If anyone knows whether I should post this in a different thread, please let me know!

I am trying to be released from the MTF that I was automatically assigned to for my maternity care. It is far from my house and my husband is deployed to Iraq for the entire year (the pregnancy was a surprise). My support network lives an hour in the opposite direction from the MTF, so I really don't want to have to be seen there for my prenatal care.

I am on Tricare Prime, which of course complicates the situation, and would prefer not to switch.

Does anyone have experience being released from a MTF for maternity care while staying on tricare prime? I was told to write a letter to the head OB and am trying to draft it right now. Does anyone have letters or bits of letters they might be able to send my way to give me some ideas? I will state the case as plainly as possible and in my mind it is very convincing, but I'm not sure how formal to make it, any procedural-related points I should mention, etc.( for instance, I mentioned that if complications should arise for some reason, I don't want to have to drive 45 mins to an hour several times a week to the MTF) - things like that.

Any help or advice would be most appreciated! Thank you.


I just called tricare and complained. Then I told them that I precip and asked them if they wanted me to have a baby in the car just so they could save money. :lol They switched me over. I was in an area where 45 minutes meant 2 or 3 hours if there was traffic though, and since it was DC there WAS traffic. If they won't do it, you may just have to suck it up (I don't mean that in a mean way) and go standard.

[AFWife]

Wow, March already?

[Soul-O]

I just tried to post this and somehow lost my message! If anyone knows whether I should post this in a different thread, please let me know!

I am trying to be released from the MTF that I was automatically assigned to for my maternity care. It is far from my house and my husband is deployed to Iraq for the entire year (the pregnancy was a surprise). My support network lives an hour in the opposite direction from the MTF, so I really don't want to have to be seen there for my prenatal care.

I am on Tricare Prime, which of course complicates the situation, and would prefer not to switch.

Does anyone have experience being released from a MTF for maternity care while staying on tricare prime? I was told to write a letter to the head OB and am trying to draft it right now. Does anyone have letters or bits of letters they might be able to send my way to give me some ideas? I will state the case as plainly as possible and in my mind it is very convincing, but I'm not sure how formal to make it, any procedural-related points I should mention, etc.( for instance, I mentioned that if complications should arise for some reason, I don't want to have to drive 45 mins to an hour several times a week to the MTF) - things like that.

Any help or advice would be most appreciated! Thank you.

I'm currently living more than 40 miles from the nearest MTF, so I was automatically enrolled in Tricare Prime Remote based on my address of record. Triwest allowed me to take care of it all through the website, and now I just see the civilian providers I choose. You might try circumventing the whole letter writing process and getting yourself enrolled in Prime Remote. PM me if you have any questions.

[beachgirl]

Thank you so much for your replies! Soul-O, I am not over the 50 mile limit (although it takes me anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour to get to the base) so I don't think that would work.

And lisa_nc, what's weird is that I did call tricare to complain and they said that they had NO power once the MTF picked up my maternity care - that I would HAVE to be released by Naval hospital and no one else could do that. It sounded weird to me, and especially now that you're saying that tricare switched you. How did that work? Did someone at tricare lie to me by telling me that only the MTF could release me once I had been assigned there?

Thanks again for your help...

[beachgirl]

Or 40 mile limit, I mean.

[Soul-O]

Thank you so much for your replies! Soul-O, I am not over the 50 mile limit (although it takes me anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour to get to the base) so I don't think that would work.

And lisa_nc, what's weird is that I did call tricare to complain and they said that they had NO power once the MTF picked up my maternity care - that I would HAVE to be released by Naval hospital and no one else could do that. It sounded weird to me, and especially now that you're saying that tricare switched you. How did that work? Did someone at tricare lie to me by telling me that only the MTF could release me once I had been assigned there?

Thanks again for your help...

Oh gosh, that stinks... I would try calling Tricare again, and let them know that although you are not outside 40 miles, it does take you longer than one hour, with traffic, to get to the MTF, and you need to be released to seek civilian care. However, I do think you may still need to sign a form at the MTF stating that you are seeking care in the community. I don't think you can be forced to stay with the MTF as long as there is a civilian provider closer to your home that accepts Tricare Prime. Call them back, and speak with a supervisor if you need to.

Good luck :hug!

[Soul-O]

Yes! This is where we go: http://www.fircreekpediatrics.com/ We see a Nurse Practitioner, but she's really great.

I had to go to Madigan and sign a paper saying we were going off-post for our care but it was very easy.

Thanks! Is it difficult to get appointments at Madigan? I had a difficult time getting appts at Martin (Ft. Benning), and was very disappointed with their Peds dept., so I'm happy to know that I can seek care off post without a hassle.

[AFWife]

General Question to all Military Moms:

What issues have you run into with military docs due to crunchy ways?

[lisa_nc]

Thank you so much for your replies! Soul-O, I am not over the 50 mile limit (although it takes me anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour to get to the base) so I don't think that would work.

And lisa_nc, what's weird is that I did call tricare to complain and they said that they had NO power once the MTF picked up my maternity care - that I would HAVE to be released by Naval hospital and no one else could do that. It sounded weird to me, and especially now that you're saying that tricare switched you. How did that work? Did someone at tricare lie to me by telling me that only the MTF could release me once I had been assigned there?

Thanks again for your help...


They might not. I never actually started care. When I called Tricare to tell them I was pregnant and had confirmed with my PCM, they told me they were sending me to the MTF. I told them what I outlined above at that time. It should be as simple as getting a referral in the computer system though. When I got referred out to civilian care for another pregnancy, it was simply a matter of them writing a referral and sending it off to tricare. You may have to just keep doing what you are doing with the head of OB. I think different MTFs have different policies for release. If worse comes to worse, you can just go to standard and pay a little out of pocket.

[lisa_nc]

General Question to all Military Moms:

What issues have you run into with military docs due to crunchy ways?



LOL, don't get me started. I don't have enough hours in the day.

[AFWife]

LOL, don't get me started. I don't have enough hours in the day.

LOL

If you ever feel like summing it up I'm all ears. I'd like to go in prepared.

[Soul-O]

General Question to all Military Moms:

What issues have you run into with military docs due to crunchy ways?

Strangely enough, I've actually had the most success with the young ones, i.e. the O-3 (CPTs, LTs etc.) residents because they seemed to respect that I had done research on pregnancy and well infant/child care and could speak intelligently on the subjects. I hate to say it, but it didn't hurt that my DH is now an officer, so we were automatically afforded a bit more respect from the uniformed staff (even when he was still technically enlisted but wearing an OCS rank). No one ever questioned me on breastfeeding or co-sleeping (and in fact most were very supportive of extended nursing), but vax is another subject altogether. It has not been my experience that any military docs were open to no vax, but I did find one that was semi-crunchy and open to a delayed schedule for us because we had an adverse reaction with DS #1. They do tend to be a bit med-happy, but not so much so with kids. I don't think we've had any antibiotics prescribed by military docs for the kids, and they've had a few ailments that could have gone that way.

In general, I would suggest asking around to see which MDs are most popular and why (i.e. good bedside manner, responsive to your concerns, non-interventive etc.), and go from there in choosing a doctor for your family.

[gagin37]

General Question to all Military Moms:

What issues have you run into with military docs due to crunchy ways?

well, let's see, at my ds's last WBV (6mns) I was told to feed him more solids, not to comfort nurse him because he's in the 97% and doesn't need the calories, and to let him watch TV to stimulate and entertain him. :eyesroll

[marlne]

I haven't had any real problems except with some disagreement regarding vaxes. It always turned into banter though. Oh wait, I did have issues of them "forgetting" that my son was a preemie.
I got lucky with getting to pick my doctors. If there was one I knew we wouldn't get along with, I'd go and switch. I finally found one doc who was a little more open.
I tend to be one to tell them how it is in my family and so far it hasn't gotten me into trouble.lol

Editing to add in that now (recently) that we're away from any military docs, I feel a little spoiled and may not to want to go back to military docs again.lol

[Alohamelly]

Thanks! Is it difficult to get appointments at Madigan? I had a difficult time getting appts at Martin (Ft. Benning), and was very disappointed with their Peds dept., so I'm happy to know that I can seek care off post without a hassle.

I don't know. When we were at Bragg, it was extremely difficult to get appointments at Womack, so this time I decided to find my own pedi for the kids and I haven't even tried Madigan. I'm currently in the midwife program at Madigan and it's been fine. I haven't had any issues with getting appointments and if I have an issue, I can just walk in and see a nurse.

General Question to all Military Moms:

What issues have you run into with military docs due to crunchy ways?

I haven't run into many issues, surprisingly. No one has ever given me a hard time about not vax'ing. I've been pretty lucky I think!

[kirstenb]

Thankfully I haven't had any problems yet when I take in DS- he see a nurse practitioner and she's pretty cool. She told me don't bother buying baby food when he's ready to eat, just give him some soft chunks of veggies. She also doesn't ask about things that aren't her business (does he sleep through the night, where does he sleep. etc). I don't know about vaxing though- he was faxed through 12 months and I didn't bother taking him to his 15 and 18 month WBV. We have gone in for other times though and she never said anything so we'll see when he turns two.

[Mommyofalmost6]

Hmm I havent had to many issues with the peds at the MTF that we go to. I have come across one person in the pediatrics that I dont like so I dont let them make appts with her. Maternity care same thing. I pretty much tell them how it is in our family and if they try and challenge me on it, I dont back down.

I am 12miles from the MTF but it can take over an hour to get to it depending on time of day. Have to LOVE DC traffic lol.

[KatieJD]

So I started a new thread and forgot to subscribe to it :nut

Military docs - We don't see them. DS has always seen doctors off post, I'm actually looking for a new one right now. That way I just avoid any issues entirely.

Speaking of docs. How is it going to work with the new baby? I've heard that we're required to bring the new baby to docs on post, but we have Tricare prime. I plan on just taking the baby to the doctor that DS sees, but I wasn't sure how that worked with Tricare. I may just end up paying out of pocket anyway if we decide to go with a naturopath.

Oh and I figured I would update about our deployment situation. We have heard that DH will get to stay for the birth and for two week after, but its still not 100% yet. I just wish somebody would make up their mind about it. He has been super busy with training and we just spent a week in Florida while he had a class there. He has been a bear with all the stress from it though, I know its to be expected but it still stinks.

[Soul-O]

So I started a new thread and forgot to subscribe to it :nut

Military docs - We don't see them. DS has always seen doctors off post, I'm actually looking for a new one right now. That way I just avoid any issues entirely.

Speaking of docs. How is it going to work with the new baby? I've heard that we're required to bring the new baby to docs on post, but we have Tricare prime. I plan on just taking the baby to the doctor that DS sees, but I wasn't sure how that worked with Tricare. I may just end up paying out of pocket anyway if we decide to go with a naturopath.

Oh and I figured I would update about our deployment situation. We have heard that DH will get to stay for the birth and for two week after, but its still not 100% yet. I just wish somebody would make up their mind about it. He has been super busy with training and we just spent a week in Florida while he had a class there. He has been a bear with all the stress from it though, I know its to be expected but it still stinks.

AFAIK, once you add the new baby into DEERS, he/she is automatically added onto your ins. plan, and then you can change the provider assigned to the one you use for your son.

I hope everything works out so that your DH can be present at the birth (and after!). It will be far less stressful for both of you if he can stick around for a bit, kwim? I'll be keeping positive thoughts for you.

[KatieJD]

Thanks for the info, Tabitha!

Its really not looking so good for DH being here now. He talked to the commander today. The words "key position" were used and the fact that this is our second baby and I'm having a normal pregnancy were also discussed, and the fact that he was here for our first child's birth. Apparently that makes this baby less valuable to us as a family and therefore not necessary for him to be here to witness the birth and first few weeks together. I can't say I'm surprised, but a few choice words come to mind about it. I'm just so tired of the up and down, at least tell me for sure he's not going to be here so I can feel like crap about it and then plan for it, ya know?

[Soul-O]

Thanks for the info, Tabitha!

Its really not looking so good for DH being here now. He talked to the commander today. The words "key position" were used and the fact that this is our second baby and I'm having a normal pregnancy were also discussed, and the fact that he was here for our first child's birth. Apparently that makes this baby less valuable to us as a family and therefore not necessary for him to be here to witness the birth and first few weeks together. I can't say I'm surprised, but a few choice words come to mind about it. I'm just so tired of the up and down, at least tell me for sure he's not going to be here so I can feel like crap about it and then plan for it, ya know?

:hug

There are some very insensitive, non-family friendly people out there in the military, no matter what type of "Family First" lip service they try to pass off. Are you in touch with your FRG at all? They should definitely be ready to take care of you and your little ones after the birth. I had a similar situation (although less dire) after the birth of DS #4, and our FRG was very helpful in getting me some respite care, extra meals, etc. when my DH was away at OCS and I was alone with a sick (i.e. fresh out of the NICU) newborn and down with a severe case of mastitis myself.

It would definitely be better to know if your DH can be present so that you can be at peace with whatever comes your way. I will be keeping you in my thoughts.

[KatieJD]

:hug

There are some very insensitive, non-family friendly people out there in the military, no matter what type of "Family First" lip service they try to pass off. Are you in touch with your FRG at all? They should definitely be ready to take care of you and your little ones after the birth. I had a similar situation (although less dire) after the birth of DS #4, and our FRG was very helpful in getting me some respite care, extra meals, etc. when my DH was away at OCS and I was alone with a sick (i.e. fresh out of the NICU) newborn and down with a severe case of mastitis myself.

It would definitely be better to know if your DH can be present so that you can be at peace with whatever comes your way. I will be keeping you in my thoughts.

Thank you, I really appreciate that.

I am in touch with our FRG, there are quite a few women due at the time of this deployment besides me as well. I've already been in touch with a postpartum doula and plan to have her for several weeks after the baby is born to help out. My IL's are coming at some point to help also, though I don't know how much help they'll be. Its more the emotional side of it for us now, this whole deployment pretty much blindsided us after we TTC and were successful. We were expecting him to be here until November. We're trying to be happy about this new baby and I just feel really bitter about the whole situation, this deployment has sucked the joy out of it. I'm trying to put on my "make the best of it" hat but really I just want to yell and scream at somebody.

[lisa_nc]

Thanks for the info, Tabitha!

Its really not looking so good for DH being here now. He talked to the commander today. The words "key position" were used and the fact that this is our second baby and I'm having a normal pregnancy were also discussed, and the fact that he was here for our first child's birth. Apparently that makes this baby less valuable to us as a family and therefore not necessary for him to be here to witness the birth and first few weeks together. I can't say I'm surprised, but a few choice words come to mind about it. I'm just so tired of the up and down, at least tell me for sure he's not going to be here so I can feel like crap about it and then plan for it, ya know?

I just want to tell you that you can do it!! Plan for him not to be there, and then you can be pleasantly surprised if he is. My husband missed our daughter's birth, he never got to see our son that passed away in October outside of pictures (second trimester loss--he was TAD), and he'll miss this baby as well. He'll have R&R about three weeks after I suspect the baby will get here, so that will be nice but he won't be home home until babe is four months old (at least). It's hard, but you know, YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK! This is not an easy life, but I have faith in you, mama!

[Aka mommy]

NM i researched on here and saw i need to have a CNM to get a homebirth covered.

[Mommyofalmost6]

Are there any other military moms in the washington DC area on this thread? Just wondering...

I have to go spend a few hours at the Naval hospital tomorrow. Blood work for pregnancy stuff and maybe lunch with the husband. I refused the glucose test but did say I would do a semi fasting draw then one 2 hours after I ate. I can comprimise kind of lol.

Any other Navy wives on here? Thoughts on the new uniforms?

KatieD *hugs* it will all be ok in the end... no matter what happens, it will be ok!

[gagin37]

Thank you, I really appreciate that.

I am in touch with our FRG, there are quite a few women due at the time of this deployment besides me as well. I've already been in touch with a postpartum doula and plan to have her for several weeks after the baby is born to help out. My IL's are coming at some point to help also, though I don't know how much help they'll be. Its more the emotional side of it for us now, this whole deployment pretty much blindsided us after we TTC and were successful. We were expecting him to be here until November. We're trying to be happy about this new baby and I just feel really bitter about the whole situation, this deployment has sucked the joy out of it. I'm trying to put on my "make the best of it" hat but really I just want to yell and scream at somebody.

:hug I'm so sorry your family is going through all this b.s. right now. While there are about a million pregnant women at Ft Bragg right now, that doesn't make your pregnancy and new babe any less special or important! :joy: I hate the way the military strings people along, telling them one thing, then changing their minds before making a decision. :irked: It's a nightmare trying to make any sort of plans about the future when you have to live like that. I'm sorry you're feeling bitter when you should be getting excited about your new arrival. I can understand though, I had a lot of bitterness and sadness happening in my life this time last year when I was pregnant with ds and dh had just deployed. He ended up coming home early though when he found out he wasn't supposed to have gone in the first place.

[mom2mializ]

Hi ladies! I kinda feel like I'm crashing here - I've introduced myself before (months ago), but don't spend much time on mothering, so I haven't been around. But I've got a question I was hoping one of you might be able to answer. dh has orders to head to germany, and our kids are "behind" on their vax. our loosing base has suggested that this might be an issue (haven't heard yet from gaining).

we REALLY have our hearts set on germany, and I'm sure that there are other non-vaxers over there, so i'm wondering if any of you have experience with this or know someone who does? thanks so much!!!

[KatieJD]

Hi ladies! I kinda feel like I'm crashing here - I've introduced myself before (months ago), but don't spend much time on mothering, so I haven't been around. But I've got a question I was hoping one of you might be able to answer. dh has orders to head to germany, and our kids are "behind" on their vax. our loosing base has suggested that this might be an issue (haven't heard yet from gaining).

we REALLY have our hearts set on germany, and I'm sure that there are other non-vaxers over there, so i'm wondering if any of you have experience with this or know someone who does? thanks so much!!!

As far as I know their non-vax status is not an issue. They won't be inspecting vaccination records, and they can't legally force you to vaccinate your children. While I don't know anyone personally stationed in Germany, I do have American friends who live there and their children are unvaccinated without issue.

[Kassyaf13]

My son is going through this thing where he screeches like a banshee for no reason and he is driving me crazy with it. He has recently learned to roll on to his stomach but now he won't roll to his back, even though he know how to do it, and that makes him scream too. Please tell me if there is anything I can do or at least tell me if this is a phase that he will snap out of? I miss by happy baby boy.

[dirtyhipegirl]

Hi ladies! I kinda feel like I'm crashing here - I've introduced myself before (months ago), but don't spend much time on mothering, so I haven't been around. But I've got a question I was hoping one of you might be able to answer. dh has orders to head to germany, and our kids are "behind" on their vax. our loosing base has suggested that this might be an issue (haven't heard yet from gaining).

we REALLY have our hearts set on germany, and I'm sure that there are other non-vaxers over there, so i'm wondering if any of you have experience with this or know someone who does? thanks so much!!!

I know here in Italy we have not had an issue with it, With the schools, all you need is a waiver. I know the CDC will NOT accept kids without updated vaxs. When we were coming here no one ever looked at my dd's shot records, so we had no problems. Good luck.

[marlne]

Hi ladies! I kinda feel like I'm crashing here - I've introduced myself before (months ago), but don't spend much time on mothering, so I haven't been around. But I've got a question I was hoping one of you might be able to answer. dh has orders to head to germany, and our kids are "behind" on their vax. our loosing base has suggested that this might be an issue (haven't heard yet from gaining).

we REALLY have our hearts set on germany, and I'm sure that there are other non-vaxers over there, so i'm wondering if any of you have experience with this or know someone who does? thanks so much!!!

It seems so far that some can get by with the vax records not being looked at and yet some may not get by so easily..
I've been sticking with a thread in the Vaccinations forum called "Vaccinations and Military PCS??". If you're interested in seeing what some others are going through, you should be able to find it around page 4 now.

[ChichosMama]

UGHHHHHHHHHH

Why does the military FAIL at putting the back BAH AND CURRENT on SO's checks!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!?!
The military should be glad they dont have to deal with me. eff that. This is p*ssing me off.

[twosweetgirls]

Hi ladies! I just wanted to introduce myself! I'm not sure if this is the right place or if there are other threads to introduce in, so I'm sorry if it's the wrong place! I have two girls 11mos and 4, I am a Navy wife and also an Army Reserve Soldier (for a few more months), I am really excited to complete my 8 years and get to be a Navy Wife! We are stationed in OK, for 3 more years at least (we are hoping for more).

[Maluhia]

Any other Navy wives on here? Thoughts on the new uniforms?
I think they are ugly and stupid. Do we want to blend in with....the water? if they fall in? huh?
I heard at a party with Adm.s that the MPCON and CNO did not want them but when they went around asking people if they liked them in the testing phase people were super polite (thanks to rank) and would not say anything bad so they could not nix them as they had hoped to be able to do.
Getting rid of washed khaki is going to be a big old bummer and honestly I think the digital cammo in any color is odd, but blue takes the dumbarse cake.

I hate the way the military strings people along, telling them one thing, then changing their minds before making a decision. :irked: It's a nightmare trying to make any sort of plans about the future when you have to live like that.
Sadly enough I hear similar quotes from friends with civilian husbands. I think we always assume that those living outside have so much more freedom to do what they want but often the hours are as bad if not worse for less money and business travel is a lot more expensive to the individual. I get that our husbands go into danger, but otherwise I don't think I'd trade military life and the bureaucracy here for bureaucracy out in the civilian world that seems just as bad.


Out here life goes along.....our Charity Auction is this weekend so I'm trying to stay busy with that and prepare for house guests. Got to love being stationed in Hawaii - my house is a freaking vacation destination :)

[Soul-O]

I think we always assume that those living outside have so much more freedom to do what they want but often the hours are as bad if not worse for less money and business travel is a lot more expensive to the individual. I get that our husbands go into danger, but otherwise I don't think I'd trade military life and the bureaucracy here for bureaucracy out in the civilian world that seems just as bad.


Amen Sista! Having been on the civilian side of things, I would definitely choose the Army any day. My DH gave up a corporate career to go Active Duty, and we've never been happier. Sad fact is, given the tax breaks, free medical, and commissary benefits, we actually do better financially with my DH as O-1E and me as a SAHM than we did with two full time WOH careers.

[phrogger]

Hope you guys don't mind, I saw this and figured I would say hi. I guess I can say I am a SAHM now again of 3 boys and 1 on the way. I am actually out on disability, but by the time this one is born, it will be summer and I work for the school district so I wont be working for a while.

Anyway, my DH is in the Navy, on shore duty right now in Central CA, but he is up for orders soon to go back to sea. We aren't sure where we will end up (hoping to stay here).

This is my first time having a baby with all the military life stuff so this is a new experience. Last deployment DH was on, we weren't married yet and my two boys and I had just moved up to where DH was stationed so I could help him with his son. I have only really dealt with military hospitals etc. with my step son so I might have lots of questions for this new little one.

[katheek77]

Waiting on the E-7 list...I compulsively check the website....Anyone else waiting?

Supposedly, they're keeping it close to the chest this year, so, there may not be an "unofficial" list much sooner than the official...which seems to be the way it's going, since last year's officially came out on 20 Mar, but the advance was out a couple weeks before that....

Myeah. I hate waiting.

[phrogger]

Waiting on the E-7 list...I compulsively check the website....Anyone else waiting?

Supposedly, they're keeping it close to the chest this year, so, there may not be an "unofficial" list much sooner than the official...which seems to be the way it's going, since last year's officially came out on 20 Mar, but the advance was out a couple weeks before that....

Myeah. I hate waiting.

For which branch? I know the Navy's chiefs board list should be out soon (we are getting calls daily from people asking DH if itis out yet) but then they still have to wait till after the boards in July/August. :( DH was supposed to be on the boards this year, but with me being pg and due in June, he lagged a bit to confirm he was interested and I guess they picked someone else.

i will say, that wait 2 years ago was pure he!!. Once he finally got the news that he made board it was even more nerve raking to wait to see if he made chief.

[katheek77]

For which branch? I know the Navy's chiefs board list should be out soon (we are getting calls daily from people asking DH if itis out yet) but then they still have to wait till after the boards in July/August. :( DH was supposed to be on the boards this year, but with me being pg and due in June, he lagged a bit to confirm he was interested and I guess they picked someone else.

i will say, that wait 2 years ago was pure he!!. Once he finally got the news that he made board it was even more nerve raking to wait to see if he made chief.


Army. It's the first time he's in primary zone, so....we weren't really expecting anything last year (he was *barely* in secondary zone then...which I guess means he's *barely* in primary now, but, he hates recruting so much he's decided if he doesn't make it this year, he's done when his term is up).

[KatieJD]

*

[Soul-O]

Quick question for those of you who have broken a lease due to deployment:

When you signed the paperwork in order to break your lease, did you have to give an exact date to your landlord for the deployment and were only allowed to break the lease starting that day? Or were you able to break the lease in advance based on when you knew deployments were going to start happening?

We're still paying rent on a house we moved into when we first got here, we moved on post once a house became available to us. We rent through a management company who handles everything for the landlord, and we already gave them the form for breaking our lease and it was accepted. Tonight, the landlord called saying that we could not break the lease until we gave him an exact date and the lease would not end until the day DH actually left. We still haven't been given an exact date, but we know deployments are happening between mid-april to early may. We've already paid for March, so we gave them our 30 days notice at the time we broke the lease and it was not disputed. Does this sound right to you?

ETA* DH was given a memorandum in place of orders giving a specific date so that we could get out of our lease.

I would think that 30 days notice is sufficient. Your JAG office staffers should be able to assist you, as I'm certain that they deal with this type of issue frequently. Given national security issues and all, I don't think you would be required to tell the landlord exactly when your DH is leaving (at least according to my DH - he's MI also).

HTH!

[KatieJD]

I would think that 30 days notice is sufficient. Your JAG office staffers should be able to assist you, as I'm certain that they deal with this type of issue frequently. Given national security issues and all, I don't think you would be required to tell the landlord exactly when your DH is leaving (at least according to my DH - he's MI also).

HTH!

He's going to head over there tomorrow and find out for sure. It definitely didn't sound right to me considering that the management company did not dispute it and we had all of the necessary paperwork in order to end the lease. The landlord is also in the military but he is stationed in Singapore right now. He claimed that we didn't give him enough time to get the house on the market, but the house has already been up for rent since December and I think he's just unhappy that there aren't any new renters yet so he doesn't want to lose out on a month's rent. Thanks for the info!

[jjm91785]

Well, I just posted my life story [lol] in another tribe thread so instead of spamming up the forum I'll just link to it:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1005708&page=16

Husband is a full time soldier in the Army National Guard, deploying later this year.

[MangoMommy]

I'm so excited! DH made board (navy)...now the wait begins to see if he gets selected to be chief! (E7)

[Alohamelly]

Quick question for those of you who have broken a lease due to deployment:

When you signed the paperwork in order to break your lease, did you have to give an exact date to your landlord for the deployment and were only allowed to break the lease starting that day? Or were you able to break the lease in advance based on when you knew deployments were going to start happening?

We're still paying rent on a house we moved into when we first got here, we moved on post once a house became available to us. We rent through a management company who handles everything for the landlord, and we already gave them the form for breaking our lease and it was accepted. Tonight, the landlord called saying that we could not break the lease until we gave him an exact date and the lease would not end until the day DH actually left. We still haven't been given an exact date, but we know deployments are happening between mid-april to early may. We've already paid for March, so we gave them our 30 days notice at the time we broke the lease and it was not disputed. Does this sound right to you?

ETA* DH was given a memorandum in place of orders giving a specific date so that we could get out of our lease.

Every rental place is going to be different, but we got out of a lease to move on post just by telling them DH was deploying. The only thing we lost was our security deposit. I guess they were used to it being in a military community.

[Soul-O]

Has anyone looked into the housing or been housed at McChord AFB? I ask because I've been informed that we are likely to be placed there instead of Ft. Lewis so as to avoid being on a wait list (I'm being recommended for EFMP and need to be close to the MTF). From what DH was told, the housing is older; however, if we decide to use the public schools in the area, the one at McChord has the highest test scores and best reputation, so this would be our best bet for on post public schools. I'm just wondering if I should hold out for Lewis or take the McChord housing.

Thanks!

[Soul-O]

I'm so excited! DH made board (navy)...now the wait begins to see if he gets selected to be chief! (E7)

Congrats and good luck to your DH!

[AFWife]

It's official, DH is now an Airman First Class and done with basic training! :thumb Most of the stuff got cancelled because the weather was HORRID (no Airman's Run and no Parade)
He's at Tech School as we speak. I'm a lot more at ease because, not only did we get to spend the weekend together, but we can now talk every night! HUGE difference in my general mood.

He's still leaving me in charge of the finances...a bit scary for me. He reassured me that I've done a great job and it's best because he doesn't have enough access to the internet...and it continues to be a growing experience for me.

But...yay!

[Kassyaf13]

Has anyone looked into the housing or been housed at McChord AFB? I ask because I've been informed that we are likely to be placed there instead of Ft. Lewis so as to avoid being on a wait list (I'm being recommended for EFMP and need to be close to the MTF). From what DH was told, the housing is older; however, if we decide to use the public schools in the area, the one at McChord has the highest test scores and best reputation, so this would be our best bet for on post public schools. I'm just wondering if I should hold out for Lewis or take the McChord housing.

Thanks!

McChord housing is older, it's all one story and most of them have car ports. They built new houses but most of those go to the higher ranking people like officers and such. It's a big area and just forward of the flight path of the C-17's. I don't know about how Ft.Lewis housing is, I know they were building new houses. If you call the housing office on McChord they should give you a better idea of the floor plan and might even be able to send you pic's.

[Soul-O]

McChord housing is older, it's all one story and most of them have car ports. They built new houses but most of those go to the higher ranking people like officers and such. It's a big area and just forward of the flight path of the C-17's. I don't know about how Ft.Lewis housing is, I know they were building new houses. If you call the housing office on McChord they should give you a better idea of the floor plan and might even be able to send you pic's.

Thanks for the info, Keri! My DH mentioned one car garages, so perhaps we are slated for the newer housing. From what I understand, the overflow from Lewis is being siphoned over to McChord to make use of their older senior NCO and O1-O3 housing (if you qualify based on rank, which we do).

As long as I don't have to be on an endless wait list, I'm happy; however, the flight path stuff will take some getting used to. At Ft. Benning, we lived about 1/4 mile from a heavy artillery range, so we got used to sleeping through 2:00 am mortar fire drills :irked:. Military families are tough indeed :thumb.

[kirstenb]

It's official, DH is now an Airman First Class and done with basic training! :thumb Most of the stuff got cancelled because the weather was HORRID (no Airman's Run and no Parade)
He's at Tech School as we speak. I'm a lot more at ease because, not only did we get to spend the weekend together, but we can now talk every night! HUGE difference in my general mood!

Congrats! That's very exciting.

We're happy as we just found out we are expecting a little one in November- DH was deployed and missed the DS's birth but he will be here this time around which makes me very glad. :)

[KatieJD]

Congrats! That's very exciting.

We're happy as we just found out we are expecting a little one in November- DH was deployed and missed the DS's birth but he will be here this time around which makes me very glad. :)

Congratulations on expecting a new little one, how exciting!

[KatieJD]

The landlord was trying to pull one over on us, DH talked to JAG and they're handling it now. He sent an email after we spoke to him and is trying to use his rank as means of intimidation so we forwarded the email to JAG as well. Hopefully this all gets resolved quickly and is one less thing to worry about.

[Soul-O]

The landlord was trying to pull one over on us, DH talked to JAG and they're handling it now. He sent an email after we spoke to him and is trying to use his rank as means of intimidation so we forwarded the email to JAG as well. Hopefully this all gets resolved quickly and is one less thing to worry about.

Oh boy, pulling rank can get you into serious hot water! It's good that you forwarded everything to JAG, and hopefully the situation will be resolved quickly.

Good luck, and I'll be thinking of you.

[Soul-O]

Congrats! That's very exciting.

We're happy as we just found out we are expecting a little one in November- DH was deployed and missed the DS's birth but he will be here this time around which makes me very glad. :)

Congratulations! Will you still be at Pendleton when you birth?

[Kassyaf13]

Thanks for the info, Keri! My DH mentioned one car garages, so perhaps we are slated for the newer housing. From what I understand, the overflow from Lewis is being siphoned over to McChord to make use of their older senior NCO and O1-O3 housing (if you qualify based on rank, which we do).

As long as I don't have to be on an endless wait list, I'm happy; however, the flight path stuff will take some getting used to. At Ft. Benning, we lived about 1/4 mile from a heavy artillery range, so we got used to sleeping through 2:00 am mortar fire drills :irked:. Military families are tough indeed :thumb.

That would be great if you could get the ones with the garages. I only know about the older E-1 thru E-4 housing. And don't worry if you miss the mortar fire drills they do canon fire on Ft. Lewis too and you can feel them EVERYWHERE, they used to shake our house and we lived off base behind McChord. :thumb

[mom2mializ]

quick update (thanks for the responses, btw) - topa here called ahead to ramstein, and was informed that dependent vax status is a non-issue. phew! We've been dealing with so much CRAP here, we were just waiting for the axe to fall. :) Thrilled to say we got medical clearance last week and (FINALLY!!!) have orders in hand. We're outta here in 3 weeks! (now to run around like chicken minus head...)

[kirstenb]

Congratulations! Will you still be at Pendleton when you birth?

Thanks!

I think so. We may move down to San Diego (where DH now works) after the baby is born but we will still be in the SoCal area. DH is stationed down there for the next 3 years.

[marlne]

quick update (thanks for the responses, btw) - topa here called ahead to ramstein, and was informed that dependent vax status is a non-issue. phew! We've been dealing with so much CRAP here, we were just waiting for the axe to fall. :) Thrilled to say we got medical clearance last week and (FINALLY!!!) have orders in hand. We're outta here in 3 weeks! (now to run around like chicken minus head...)

That is so exciting and I'm glad to hear that you got clearance.:D

Kirsten~ Big CONGRATS with your baby on the way!!

AFWife~ Congrats to you and your hubby!

JJM~ Hi! Glad you're here!

MangoMommy~ Congrats and good luck to your hubby!

KatieJD~ That really stinks that someone was trying to pull rank. It's good you got JAG involved. I hope all goes well!

[katheek77]

Congrats Kristen!

DH made the E-7 list. Whoo-hoo!!!! Right before 10 years (which he says is good). Wheee!!!! He thinks he'll actually *be* promoted in July/August.

[MangoMommy]

Ohh congrats Kathee! Good luck to your DH!

[KatieJD]

Congratulations, Kathee!

[Soul-O]

Congrats to you and your DH, Kathee! Hopefully the extra $$ that come with the promotion will make his recruiting gig a bit more tolerable. Is your DH still considering OCS?

[Mommyofalmost6]

Congrats Kathee!

My husband took the test yesterday for E4 (hes been in 2 years) and doesnt think he did very well :(

[Dwmama]

We just found out we are headed to Ft. Campbell next year. Does anyone have any info on birthing options? We plan to get pregnant soon after we PCS there.

Also on the best places to live?

Thanks :)

[nia82]

@ Rene: That's good news! I hope your PCS will go well :)

DH finished is training on Friday... The movers come tomorrow to pack everything and take us to Cheyenne, WY. But first DH will go to AL for a 6 week class, so DS and I will fly to Germany in 8 days to see grandma and grandpa. We are so excited. We are also excited to then move to Cheyenne :) Our first real assignment after 1 year of different schools!

[thea77]

This is my first post, although I've been lurking for what seems like years. My husband and I are stationed at RAF Lakenheath, England. We're expecting our first baby the beginning of July. I was wondering if anyone on here was stationed at Lakenheath or Mildenhall.
I've always considered myself less-than-mainstream, but since getting pregnant, I've become passionate about attachment parenting, breastfeeding, babywearing, cloth diapering/ec'ing, natural family living, etc. Being a military spouse stationed overseas, I feel like I'm the only one who has these philosophies/principles and it can be quiet isolating. I was hoping I could "meet" some others on this forum. It's really helpful to at least have this!

[AFWife]

Anyone in or around Ellsworth Air Force Base in South Dakota? We'll be PCSing in June

[KarlaC]

Thought I'd jump in & introduce myself. I'm Karla, dh & I are at Ft. Bragg for at least another year & a half, his deployment is coming up so he won't be home for our ds birth I don't think. Oh well, one more year closer to retirement for him!! :joy:

I'll go back to lurking unless I have something useful to add :)

~K.

[KatieJD]

Welcome to the newcomers!

Karla - I'm at Fort Bragg, also!

thea - I'm sorry you're feeling isolated :hug I understand how hard it can be when you combine military life with an AP/NP lifestyle, its so hard to find others who share your beliefs and its hard to stay anywhere long enough to establish friendships.

Got some updates on the deployment situation. DH has been approved to stay behind, but, and there's always a but, someone is raising a stink about when the next flight is taking place and all of the people staying behind. This person of course has no say in the matter but I told DH that basically if they don't have a 100% definite answer for us I don't want to be told anything.

[dhinderliter]

dh is being deployed :( things aren't good for us as a couple anymore as we're getting divorced but we had just started to work on being friends and co parents instead of lovers and now thats getting messed up. he has training in georgia april 5-21 then deploys april 28. we just found out yesterday :eyesroll so in 2 weeks i become a real single mom with no help, no family, no one. basically he'll be gone for almost 6 months. this is his first deployment (6 years) so having all this culminate right now is hard. he's going to kuwait though so not in the middle of the action. however the training he has in georgia is what is prompting his deployment so i guess now that he'll be trained for AR he's going to be deployed ALOT more. we'll be holding off on the official divorce until he gets back since there is so little time for him to prepare all the "normal" deployment stuff let alone anything else.

after we get divorced will he still get fam sep when he's deployed? i mean he's still going to be seperated from his kids so i would think he should....what kind of access will i have to base for the kids?

[gagin37]

Thought I'd jump in & introduce myself. I'm Karla, dh & I are at Ft. Bragg for at least another year & a half, his deployment is coming up so he won't be home for our ds birth I don't think. Oh well, one more year closer to retirement for him!! :joy:

I'll go back to lurking unless I have something useful to add :)

~K.

Welcome, I'm in 'Fayettenam' also. sorry to hear about the deployment situation.... so many folks are deploying right now, it's very :(

[MangoMommy]

dh is being deployed :( things aren't good for us as a couple anymore as we're getting divorced but we had just started to work on being friends and co parents instead of lovers and now thats getting messed up. he has training in georgia april 5-21 then deploys april 28. we just found out yesterday :eyesroll so in 2 weeks i become a real single mom with no help, no family, no one. basically he'll be gone for almost 6 months. this is his first deployment (6 years) so having all this culminate right now is hard. he's going to kuwait though so not in the middle of the action. however the training he has in georgia is what is prompting his deployment so i guess now that he'll be trained for AR he's going to be deployed ALOT more. we'll be holding off on the official divorce until he gets back since there is so little time for him to prepare all the "normal" deployment stuff let alone anything else.

after we get divorced will he still get fam sep when he's deployed? i mean he's still going to be seperated from his kids so i would think he should....what kind of access will i have to base for the kids?

DH thinks he'll still get Fam Sep pay after the divorce, and the kids will most likely get ID's for medical/base privilages.

I'm sorry you're going thru this mama. :(

[gagin37]

after we get divorced will he still get fam sep when he's deployed? i mean he's still going to be seperated from his kids so i would think he should....what kind of access will i have to base for the kids?

my roommate in college was from a military family, and even though her parents had been divorced for years she still had military id and medical coverage. not sure about the fam sep pay, i never thought to ask about that. :hug what a crappy situation, sorry I don't have any advice or answers for you.

[KarlaC]

Welcome, I'm in 'Fayettenam' also. sorry to hear about the deployment situation.... so many folks are deploying right now, it's very :(

Hah Fayettenam, such an accurate description. Thanks for the welcome ladies. :D Are you living on post or off?

Just curios, I live off post & have heard some awful things about on post housing atm.

[KatieJD]

Hah Fayettenam, such an accurate description. Thanks for the welcome ladies. :D Are you living on post or off?

Just curios, I live off post & have heard some awful things about on post housing atm.

I'm on post, we live in Hammond Hills. The housing varies pretty widely, I've heard some bad things about certain places but haven't had any problems where we live now.

[gagin37]

I'm on post, we live in Hammond Hills. The housing varies pretty widely, I've heard some bad things about certain places but haven't had any problems where we live now.

we live off post, but the situation isn't much different, it seems to vary depending on where you are.

[katheek77]

dh is being deployed :( things aren't good for us as a couple anymore as we're getting divorced but we had just started to work on being friends and co parents instead of lovers and now thats getting messed up. he has training in georgia april 5-21 then deploys april 28. we just found out yesterday :eyesroll so in 2 weeks i become a real single mom with no help, no family, no one. basically he'll be gone for almost 6 months. this is his first deployment (6 years) so having all this culminate right now is hard. he's going to kuwait though so not in the middle of the action. however the training he has in georgia is what is prompting his deployment so i guess now that he'll be trained for AR he's going to be deployed ALOT more. we'll be holding off on the official divorce until he gets back since there is so little time for him to prepare all the "normal" deployment stuff let alone anything else.

after we get divorced will he still get fam sep when he's deployed? i mean he's still going to be seperated from his kids so i would think he should....what kind of access will i have to base for the kids?

If you have primary custody of the kids, they will get IDs to allow them base privileges (usually, children under 10 don't get ID cards). I *believe* that you would get some sort of letter authorizing you to come on base to acquire items/services for your *children*. In other words, you can come and buy clothes from the PX for them, but, not for yourself. If your husband has primary custody, they'll get their IDs at 10, as usual.

I believe if you are primary caretaker, your husband will *not* receive family sep pay for future deployments. If *he* is primary caretaker, he will, even if the children are then living with another relative or you during deployments.

[KarlaC]

If you have primary custody of the kids, they will get IDs to allow them base privileges (usually, children under 10 don't get ID cards). I *believe* that you would get some sort of letter authorizing you to come on base to acquire items/services for your *children*. In other words, you can come and buy clothes from the PX for them, but, not for yourself. If your husband has primary custody, they'll get their IDs at 10, as usual.

I believe if you are primary caretaker, your husband will *not* receive family sep pay for future deployments. If *he* is primary caretaker, he will, even if the children are then living with another relative or you during deployments.

You won't get fam. seperation pay after a divorce if you have the custody of the children (btdt) Sorry :( Your kids will still be covered by Tricare though.

[harm526]

Hi Military Mommas!

DH is in the Air Force and we are stationed in the UK for another year. We have one darling little boy who will be 11 months on Thursday!

So glad to meet you all!!! :)

[Anissina]

Melly: Do you have a recommendation for a Ft. Lewis area Ped and/or Family Practice MD? Hopefully delayed vax friendly, although that's probably asking too much in the Army :o.

Thanks!

Hi! I'm new and at Lewis! We see Dr. Jenner through the Franciscan Medical Group. She's in Tacoma and she's delayed vax friendly. She's also covered under Tricare Prime.

[KatieJD]

DH is deploying on time. The news we heard about him getting to stay was nothing but speculation. The justification that we were given is because its our second child. Of the 5 that requested to stay behind, only 2 are being forced to leave on time. I honestly don't know if I can cry anymore about this, it may be a normal occurrence in the military but no family should ever have to go through this. Especially because of an insensitive and clueless commander. We won't even be able to communicate via phone or internet for an indefinite amount of time because of where he's going. We'll be saying goodbye to him early next month :gloomy:

[Anissina]

DH is deploying on time. The news we heard about him getting to stay was nothing but speculation. The justification that we were given is because its our second child. Of the 5 that requested to stay behind, only 2 are being forced to leave on time. I honestly don't know if I can cry anymore about this, it may be a normal occurrence in the military but no family should ever have to go through this. Especially because of an insensitive and clueless commander. We won't even be able to communicate via phone or internet for an indefinite amount of time because of where he's going. We'll be saying goodbye to him early next month :gloomy:

I'm so sorry! Have you looked into Operation Special Delivery? ::hugs::

[KatieJD]

I'm so sorry! Have you looked into Operation Special Delivery? ::hugs::

I have looked into it. I'm having a homebirth and will have my midwife and two of her assistants available, one of them being a doula. I'm also having a post-partum doula for a period of time after the birth as well.

[kirstenb]

DH is deploying on time. The news we heard about him getting to stay was nothing but speculation. The justification that we were given is because its our second child. Of the 5 that requested to stay behind, only 2 are being forced to leave on time. I honestly don't know if I can cry anymore about this, it may be a normal occurrence in the military but no family should ever have to go through this. Especially because of an insensitive and clueless commander. We won't even be able to communicate via phone or internet for an indefinite amount of time because of where he's going. We'll be saying goodbye to him early next month :gloomy:

I'm so sorry. :hug

[mmgrimm]

Hi, Everybody!

I have been a Military Wife for 5 years and a Military Mom for 3 years! :joy: Looking forward to having advice and support from other Mamas! We recently PCS'd to Fort Lewis so if any Mamas have any info about meeting groups or playgroups please let me know!

[mmgrimm]

Hi ladies! I kinda feel like I'm crashing here - I've introduced myself before (months ago), but don't spend much time on mothering, so I haven't been around. But I've got a question I was hoping one of you might be able to answer. dh has orders to head to germany, and our kids are "behind" on their vax. our loosing base has suggested that this might be an issue (haven't heard yet from gaining).

we REALLY have our hearts set on germany, and I'm sure that there are other non-vaxers over there, so i'm wondering if any of you have experience with this or know someone who does? thanks so much!!!

We had no issue with our DS's vax (we did selective-vax) when we were stationed in Germany a couple of years ago. We found Germany to be more supportive on AP and extended breastfeeding than the states. I hope u all get to go...it was an amazing experience!

[Alohamelly]

I posted this on my DDC also, but I'm 31 weeks pregnant and right now, planning to give birth at the MTF (Madigan). I don't want to anymore. Do you all think Tricare would allow me to switch to an off post hospital without making me go standard? Or will they let me switch at all?

[KarlaC]

I posted this on my DDC also, but I'm 31 weeks pregnant and right now, planning to give birth at the MTF (Madigan). I don't want to anymore. Do you all think Tricare would allow me to switch to an off post hospital without making me go standard? Or will they let me switch at all?

I think the only way they will pay 100% for an off post hospital is if they refer you there because the on post drs are over-loaded. Otherwise you'll have to either switch to standard or pay the out of pocket costs for seeing a non mtf provider.

[Alohamelly]

I think the only way they will pay 100% for an off post hospital is if they refer you there because the on post drs are over-loaded. Otherwise you'll have to either switch to standard or pay the out of pocket costs for seeing a non mtf provider.

Thanks.

[married2thearmy07]

Thanks for the link pearl! I was so confused and thought the dates meant these were threads for women due this month! lol

Anyways...

My name is Sierra. I'm a 20 year old, SAHM, and doula in training. I am a home birthing, cloth diapering, breastfeeding, baby wearing, mother. I have been married to my wonderful hubby, Corey, for just over 2 years now. We met the summer of '06 in Basic Training. I am no longer in the Army. (Being a mother was more important to me!) Corey is an OIF veteran who just returned home in December :love Together we share a beautiful daughter, Hayden, whis almost 13 mos. old. We are currently stationed at Fort Stewart, GA but will be PCSing to Ft. Leonard Wood, MO in July.

[marlne]

DH is deploying on time. The news we heard about him getting to stay was nothing but speculation. The justification that we were given is because its our second child. Of the 5 that requested to stay behind, only 2 are being forced to leave on time. I honestly don't know if I can cry anymore about this, it may be a normal occurrence in the military but no family should ever have to go through this. Especially because of an insensitive and clueless commander. We won't even be able to communicate via phone or internet for an indefinite amount of time because of where he's going. We'll be saying goodbye to him early next month :gloomy:

Oh Katie~ That breaks my heart for you!! I'm so sorry..:Hug I wish I lived near you to offer you some support in person.

Alohamelly~ You may be able to switch to Standard.. It couldn't hurt to talk to the Tricare office.

Hi to all the newcomers!!

[leosmommy]

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[Alohamelly]

Hello, everyone! My DH is in the process of joining the Army right now...he has some testing tomorrow for a few hours, and will be going for basic training in the next month or so. It's an idea we've been playing with for a few years now, so it's not all a total shock, but I am absorbing a lot of new information now. I'm coming here to ask you all for advice about many different things.

DH has an associate's degree and will be an E-3 to start, and his recruiter is predicting that he'll score pretty well on the tests tomorrow.

I am 22, and a SAHM to our DS who is 11 months. We are very AP...breastfeeding, cosleeping/bedsharing, cloth diapering, nonvaxing, etc. I am interested in living on base but since we are planning to get preggo this winter (when DS is 18 months +) and want a homebirth/possibly an unassisted birth, is it in our best interest to live off base? I don't want to live on base if it means we will feel isolated. We make an effort to only spend time with other AP families, and that's a choice we want to stick to even while being a military family. Will I be looked down upon for not "participating" in all the family/mom groups on base because I don't want my child exposed to other styles of parenting? We babywear, and don't have a stroller, hang our diapers outside on a line to dry, have a garden, eat a very specific organic/macrobiotic diet. Should we just not even consider living on base? What are the pros/cons of living on base/off base? We will be renting for the next year or so until we're ready to buy a house (we're not yet). Once we know more of how many kids we want, where we want to build our house, what style of house, etc, we'll get a mortgage and build a house, but not yet.

Can we even live on base if our DS and our pets are not vaxed? My brother brought up that question and it's a legitimate one...

Since I'm already planning to rent off base I'm okay with that decision. What are the things I really need to do/plan for/look into BEFORE DH leaves for basic training and then also AFTER he is at basic training?

Thank you so much for all of your input!!!

I can't answer all of your questions, but you might not even be able to get a house on post wherever you go. Most places have long waiting lists.

I prefer to live on post. My husband is gone so much that when he's here, we like having him come home for breakfast and lunch and for him to not spend too much time commuting. I also like being close to the px, commissary and other base resources. Post neighborhoods are pretty kid friendly and I like that my daughter can go out to play and I don't have to worry about her too much. I also love all the playgrounds and stuff. For us, the benefits to living on post outweigh the negatives.

That said, I have not been able to find many other moms to connect with on base. I was really lucky when we were at Ft. Bragg to have a close friend in my neighborhood who was AP. Here (at Lewis), I haven't found anyone but I am a part of a great AP group off post.

As for buying a house, I know a lot of military families do it but I really don't understand why. Maybe someone else here can enlighten me. Why would you buy a house somewhere you're only going to be for 3 years or so? I know a lot of people right now who are PCS'ing and are stressing out because they can't sell their homes. Just curious!

[mmgrimm]

Hello, everyone! My DH is in the process of joining the Army right now...he has some testing tomorrow for a few hours, and will be going for basic training in the next month or so. It's an idea we've been playing with for a few years now, so it's not all a total shock, but I am absorbing a lot of new information now. I'm coming here to ask you all for advice about many different things.

DH has an associate's degree and will be an E-3 to start, and his recruiter is predicting that he'll score pretty well on the tests tomorrow.

I am 22, and a SAHM to our DS who is 11 months. We are very AP...breastfeeding, cosleeping/bedsharing, cloth diapering, nonvaxing, etc. I am interested in living on base but since we are planning to get preggo this winter (when DS is 18 months +) and want a homebirth/possibly an unassisted birth, is it in our best interest to live off base? I don't want to live on base if it means we will feel isolated. We make an effort to only spend time with other AP families, and that's a choice we want to stick to even while being a military family. Will I be looked down upon for not "participating" in all the family/mom groups on base because I don't want my child exposed to other styles of parenting? We babywear, and don't have a stroller, hang our diapers outside on a line to dry, have a garden, eat a very specific organic/macrobiotic diet. Should we just not even consider living on base? What are the pros/cons of living on base/off base? We will be renting for the next year or so until we're ready to buy a house (we're not yet). Once we know more of how many kids we want, where we want to build our house, what style of house, etc, we'll get a mortgage and build a house, but not yet.

Can we even live on base if our DS and our pets are not vaxed? My brother brought up that question and it's a legitimate one...

Since I'm already planning to rent off base I'm okay with that decision. What are the things I really need to do/plan for/look into BEFORE DH leaves for basic training and then also AFTER he is at basic training?

Thank you so much for all of your input!!!

Honestly you don't need to worry about housing until Dh gets his orders in basic. You may be sent overseas or stationed near a big city where if you don't live on post there are only apartments in your BAH range.

I really dont recommend the buying a house or building a house...you may only live somewhere for 2 or 3 years (We are on our 4th duty station in 5 years). Plus we have been stationed in some high COL areas that owning a home was out of the question.

There should not be a problem with DS vaxs but your pets have to be registered with housing on post (2 pet max). Even if you live off post most landlords want the same for safety and insurance reasons. Plus the Army does not cover up front costs to live off post...pet deposits, security deposits, upfront rent costs.

Good Luck!

[treemom2]

As far as I know their non-vax status is not an issue. They won't be inspecting vaccination records, and they can't legally force you to vaccinate your children. While I don't know anyone personally stationed in Germany, I do have American friends who live there and their children are unvaccinated without issue.

I do know that for coming to Japan they do check the family's vax records and they have been canceling orders because of nonvax status. I am currently in Japan and have been told that my children will never be allowed in the CDC (or their activities, like parents night out) or in the schools because they are not vaxed (we are civilians working on a military base which is how we got to Japan--they don't check civilian family's medical stuff). It's okay because I send my children to school out in the community and I plan to homeschool full-time when they get a little older. . .

[leosmommy]

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[mmgrimm]

thanks for the replies so far! I have a few more questions as I've been attempting to research stuff...

When DH goes away for basic training, does he start earning an income and BAH and all that right away?

Do we have to move when DH does? Like, if he works on a base and we are renting an apartment here in the U.S., and then he has to go to a foreign country that I don't want to live in with the kids, do we HAVE to go? Can we stay behind? Do we still get the BAH if we stay here in the states even if he's stationed in a non-combat zone, like Germany or Japan?

Why is it impractical for us to buy a house to live at permanently? Meaning me and the kids stay there, DH visits when he can while he's still in (for the next 10 or 15 years until he retires).
We aren't ready to buy a house yet anyway but I don't understand why we shouldn't someday. I'm not trying to be rude I just don't get it!

And the recruiter said the Army is pretty good about letting DH come home for vacations when he wants...like if I'm due to give birth he's allowed a month off for that, or if there's a 2 week period when we want to TTC he can come home...as long as he puts in for the time off well ahead of time, etc. Is this true?

How much time should DH sign up for initially? A long time (like 6 or 8 years) for a slightly larger bonus, or a short time (like 2 or 4 years) with plans to re-enlist with a small bonus now but hopefully a larger bonus later?

I'm sure I'll be back soon with more questions for you all... :eyesroll

Since you have lots of questions...I have lots of answers! My DH has been in the Army for 8 years and I also served for 4 years!

First your DH will start recieving pay and BAH as soon as he leaves for Basic. BAH is determined by where you live while he is away then where you get stationed after Basic and AIT. You can find Pay and BAH charts online.

If he gets stationed overseas you don't have to go...its called a hardship tour and lasts 12 to 24 months. You will get BAH for where you and the kids are if you choose not to go...He will live in the barracks.

Rule Number One about Joining the Military...Recruiters LIE!

Your DH will get 28 days of leave a year and his unit has to approve all leave requests. So he may not get the time he wants or have earned enough time...you earn 2 1/2 days a month.

Buying a house and having your DH only come to visit when he can is a family decision for you two to make...Only seeing your DH 28 days a year for 20 years would take a toll.

Bonus Money depends on Congress...there maybe no bonuses 3 or 4 years down the road...there were none when DH and I enlisted prior to 9/11.

Let me know if you have more questions!

[KatieJD]

Welcome, leosmommy!

Whether you end up in an AP community is really luck of the draw. I've been able to live in areas where AP is prominent enough that I was able to find playgroups and friends fairly easily. I've also lived in places where I had to search harder to find like-minded friends and playgroups that were accepting and respectful of everybody regardless of their parenting style. I have personally found that regardless of parenting style, getting involved with activities with other military families is helpful because they know exactly what we're going through (especially with deployments) and we've been able to find lots of support in ways that non-military friends and family cannot provide.

As for housing, if you do decide to live on post you'll be closer to shopping, you'll be nearby to lots of kid's activities and playgrounds, the commute is much shorter and your DH can come home for lunch and be home quicker after work (which is nice when they're working until 8 or 9pm some nights). Getting on and off post is a pain in the morning especially. Are you planning to build or buy a house in another state away from your DH? If so, you have to take into consideration that he'll get BAH for the city he's stationed in, not where you're located so the cost of living could be higher for you than him. From my own experience, BAH has never completely covered the cost of rent in the three states we've lived in based on the size of house and neighborhood we like to live in. If you buy a house where he's stationed, have you come up with a plan for what to do with it once you move elsewhere? Do you plan to rent it out when you change duty stations? If you plan to rent a home, you will also be responsible for paying any deposits and your first month's rent usually because there can be a delay as far as when funds come in (I know this from experience unfortunately). Also, if you plan to live apart you'll have to determine whether his pay will cover his cost of living as well as yours.

As for taking that kind of leave, I've never heard of anyone getting a month off when having a baby and I'm not sure where the recruiter got that from. Leave is entirely dependent on whoever your husband's commander ends up being and how generous he is. Soldiers now get 10 days of paternity leave. A typical leave time is 2 weeks once they've built up enough time to take off, my DH takes MAYBE a week off at a time when he has it because he can't leave for that long without things piling up. It will also be dependent on their training schedule. If your husband ends up deployed when you're pregnant, he'll be able to take 2 weeks of r&r around the time you have the baby usually but its never a guarantee. I'm having a baby in May and my DH is deploying about 2 weeks prior to that and won't be allowed to stay behind based on commander's orders. It all really depends on how his unit ends up being whether he'll get to take leave when he wants but he probably won't have a ton of say in the matter.

[leosmommy]

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[KatieJD]

I wouldn't cancel out military activities all together. For us, there really aren't a lot of formal get-togethers designed to meet people that I attend. Its more just me going out to say hello to my neighbors and going from there. In almost any area you end up, you'll be able to find people on MDC who live there which is really nice. Nobody has ever given me crap about my parenting choices, some might think it a bit different but it hasn't influenced my friendships with those people because most have the common sense to be tolerant even if they don't share the same beliefs. One nice thing about military life is that there is a broad spectrum of people to meet from every walk of life. Groups like LLL are sometimes located on post as well. All I can say is keep an open mind :)

[marimara]

I agree, an open mind is the most important resource of all. I have 4 years Air Force exp myself and my dh is been in for 13 years. You will meet all kinds of people, and sometimes you won't fit in but it's up to you to make it work. As for living apart, well I've known a few families who did that (long term, I mean not just for overseas or hardship tours) and they always end up divorced :shrug. IMO it's better for the family to stay together. Even if means sacrifices on your part. Oh yeah, there will be lots of sacrifices. That's part of being a military spouse. I mean, I hate where I live now, no AP mamas anywhere, but I"m finding things to do to keep busy. It really sucks to be apart from your spouse and especially hard on the kids. You'll get thru it and make lots of good friends along the way!

[marlne]

Since you have lots of questions...I have lots of answers! My DH has been in the Army for 8 years and I also served for 4 years!

First your DH will start recieving pay and BAH as soon as he leaves for Basic. BAH is determined by where you live while he is away then where you get stationed after Basic and AIT. You can find Pay and BAH charts online.

If he gets stationed overseas you don't have to go...its called a hardship tour and lasts 12 to 24 months. You will get BAH for where you and the kids are if you choose not to go...He will live in the barracks.

Rule Number One about Joining the Military...Recruiters LIE!

Your DH will get 28 days of leave a year and his unit has to approve all leave requests. So he may not get the time he wants or have earned enough time...you earn 2 1/2 days a month.

Buying a house and having your DH only come to visit when he can is a family decision for you two to make...Only seeing your DH 28 days a year for 20 years would take a toll.

Bonus Money depends on Congress...there maybe no bonuses 3 or 4 years down the road...there were none when DH and I enlisted prior to 9/11.

Let me know if you have more questions!
In response to the bolded part.. Not all lie.. My DH may be new in recruiting (working for 7mos now in it) but he is not a liar. He absolutely will not ever lie to someone just to try and reel them in.
Also, I don't know about other branches but for the Marine Corps, if a recruiter gets caught lying, it can pose many problems for him.

It is those who do lie, who give non liars a bad rep. And I will say that the first thought I got with regarding the recruiter telling your (leosmommy) hubby that he'll get all that time off, is lying.

Leosmommy, you don't have to participate in military activities. I'm not one to go doing the activities really. We did participate more in kid activities such as gymnastics or dance and we always spent time at the pools.
You can be picky and choosy on what you want to do and who you want to be friends with too. I'm not the type looking to make tons of friends, but I am always nice to everyone and say hello to my neighbors. Being picky and choosy so far has helped keep me out of drama situations that I had heard about from some neighbors at times.
Also, I've ended up with a few wonderful and close friends that I'd never ever trade the world for.:D

Living on base suited us best. We tried off base at first and then tried on base and found it to be a better fit.

[ValarieR]

Hi! I'm Valarie, 26 recent college grad (Psych & Women's Studies), I work in medical billing, and am about to marry an Army Sgt.

I've known him since we were kids- I was head over heels when I was 16 & he was 24... he was far too nice of a guy to date a 16yr old then though! So, we went our separate ways, both went through crappy marriages, and here we are a decade later...

He was home for leave in early March, and apparently he left me a very special gift... we are expecting our first child in December... which would be perfect, except he is deployed until at least October. Even when he is done, he has to do about three weeks in Oahu before he can take terminal leave. We're both hoping he can be here for the birth.

I have hated being an Army girlfriend- if he is hurt, they call his Mom, I can't go on base for FRG meetings, no one seems to understand that I miss him as much as a wife.... so, we're doing the proxy marriage thing so I can have the things a wife has. Love him for that :)

Anyhoo, I'm sure I'll be asking a ton of quesitons... Nice to meet you all!

Valarie

[mmgrimm]

To ValarieR: It does suck being an Army girlfriend...you are seen as nothing to the unit...but I promise it changes when you get married. I think it has alot to do with the fact that the unit is not reliable for you or to you when you are dating. I was an FRG leader at our last two duty stations and I always included girlfriends...I knew what it was like to be one and how much I hated not being included.

To KatyJD: Sorry that your husband has to leave prior to the baby coming...I am keeping good thoughts in my head for you that the deployment gets postponed even if only a few weeks.

To Marine: Recruiters do Lie...they tell you what you want to hear so you sign the papers. Maybe its different in the Marine Corps. They get away with it because its not written in the contract.

Sometimes participating in activities on post gives you a since of belonging...other families that know exactly what its like to have a husband work crazy hours or be deployed. Making friends on post has always been hard for us because of our parenting styles and the fact we have two legally blind children...but somehow we always manage to make a few good friends that we can count on when needed. Plus activities on post are more budget friendly than off post.

[AFWife]

I wouldn't say that DH's recruiter LIED (Air Force) but apparently she was extremely misinformed on several points (which lead to him also not being informed)

I also noticed at MEPS that a lot of people hadn't been told much of anything by their recruiters...like, one guy had NO idea there was a dress code and almost had to go home because of it.

DH never explained exactly what she had told him about basic that was "wrong" or "off"...but I never pressed and asked for specifics.




Quick off topic question: When I give birth the baby is automatically covered on insurance for a few days right? I don't have to do anything beforehand?

[Maluhia]

Quick off topic question: When I give birth the baby is automatically covered on insurance for a few days right? I don't have to do anything beforehand?

Yep - you have two weeks for your DH to enroll the child in DEERS, or it could be 30 days? For some reason I'm remembering two weeks.

I know recruiters spouses always get up in arms when it's said but 95% of the people in the Military I've spoken to were lied to by recruiters (mostly lies of omission, and in retrospect omitting obvious big things that are hard to deal with). So either all the sailors/marines/soldiers/airmen I spoke to have lied to me for no good reason, or recruiters lie under pressure for quotas. Sure - the husbands of women who are on here might be in the 5% that don't lie, but they might not be as well.

In the same vein I love my husband and think he's great at his job, he tells me all about what he did and why he did it and the reasons he knows to do things that others may not understand or be exposed to. I think he's great but I'm sure there are women who think he's the dumbest meanest XO their husbands have ever had to deal with - and so what? Maybe he does do things imperfectly, it sure won't make me love him any less but he also is not going to come home proporting the perspective of his sailors to be the absolute truth.

[leosmommy]

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[tatin]

Hello to you all. I didn't even know that this group existed on MDC! I'll honestly say that I was opposed to my husband joining the Army Reserve, at first, since I am a SAHM to two young children (5 years and 11 months) and I have no family nearby. He was having the hardest time finding employment after having been laid off from his job in construction, so he decided to join the Reserves to further his training and to create some reliable source of income for us. I have supported him ever since the day he swore in (this past March) and I will continue to do so, but I am so overwhelmed by all of this. For the next nine weeks, I have no way to get in touch with, nor he with me (maybe on Sundays? I don't know). I'm sure many of you have gone through similar or more challenging situations, and I guess I just want to know what to expect. I have no source of income w/out my husband at home and I was expecting a direct deposit payment from his basic training on May 1st, but he just informed me not to count on it happening until May 15th. I have to make rent and other payments, and I don't know what to do. I've been searching Craigslist, and other job links, hoping to find some type of PT employment that will allow me to take my 11 month along with me. Any ideas?

Thanks for any suggestions you might have for me.

[AFWife]

DH took his ASVAB this morning...he got a 39. That's the only score he has (or will give me over the phone right now!) since he's in the car with the recruiter on the way back from the testing center.

I know that's not a great score...but I'm not going to tell him that. Is this limiting as far as enlistment bonuses, jobs available to him, etc.? He has an associate's degree (in culinary arts/rest. mgmt.) and isn't that physically fit (yet). He just meets the body fat percentage requirement (he's at 26%) and can not even do the minimum sit-ups/push-ups or 2 mile run at this point. He's finally agreed to let me help him with diet and exercise so he doesn't die or not graduate from BCT.

Give it to me honestly, please! He doesn't come here on MDC and I won't tell him the harsh reality of his low score...I'll let his recruiter do that. :(

I'm sad because I tried to get him to study but he refused. I don't want him to get a job he's not happy with and be stuck for a long time with it, and I know he's assuming he'll get a 20K bonus no matter what...

First of all, when I did MEPS (I was going to join the Air Force and turned up pregnant...) there were worse scores than that flying around...and several that were about in that range. I think it's pretty average to be totally honest.

I'm not sure how it works in all branches (which is he entering?) but I can tell you what I know about the Air Force...

Overall score pretty much decides whether you get IN or not (his passes for all branches) Each test is comprised of different sections such as math, reading comprehension, mechanics, spatial recognition, etc... How he scored in those sections helps determine which jobs he's eligible for. Example: If he kicked butt in the mechanics section but not so much in the reading they'll probably let him look at mechanic jobs. Things like that. Yes, some jobs require higher overall scores. But they need people to do a large array of jobs. And he gets paid by pay grade and not job assignment. So, even if he ends up fixing airplanes he gets paid the same as the guy running numbers and the guy doing public health (as long as they're all equal grades)

I also know that in the Air Force an Associate's Degree bumps you up to an E3. LOL My DH got his in Fine Arts and they accepted it and gave him the advance. A degree is a degree...they really don't care what you got it in unless it's something huge like micro-engineering or something.

If he starts working out now and can get to some sort of baseline (even just under "passing requirements") he'll probably be fine. They'll bust his butt no matter what and if he takes the workouts seriously he'll get to where they want him to be. Chances are, he won't be the most out of shape guy that shows up...


*hugs*

[mmgrimm]

Hello to you all. I didn't even know that this group existed on MDC! I'll honestly say that I was opposed to my husband joining the Army Reserve, at first, since I am a SAHM to two young children (5 years and 11 months) and I have no family nearby. He was having the hardest time finding employment after having been laid off from his job in construction, so he decided to join the Reserves to further his training and to create some reliable source of income for us. I have supported him ever since the day he swore in (this past March) and I will continue to do so, but I am so overwhelmed by all of this. For the next nine weeks, I have no way to get in touch with, nor he with me (maybe on Sundays? I don't know). I'm sure many of you have gone through similar or more challenging situations, and I guess I just want to know what to expect. I have no source of income w/out my husband at home and I was expecting a direct deposit payment from his basic training on May 1st, but he just informed me not to count on it happening until May 15th. I have to make rent and other payments, and I don't know what to do. I've been searching Craigslist, and other job links, hoping to find some type of PT employment that will allow me to take my 11 month along with me. Any ideas?

Thanks for any suggestions you might have for me.

Sorry that you are going through this:hug

I would call all of the places that you need to make payments to and inform them that your husband has just been called to active duty and that there will be a delay in his pay until May 15th and see if they can work something out with you.

It maybe awhile before you hear from your husband and when you do it may only be for a few minutes. If you have an emergency of any type contact the Red Cross and they will be able to relay a message for your husband to contact you.

Also contact the FRG for his reserve unit...they will be able to give you info and point you in the right direction on resources available to you!

[leosmommy]

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[mmgrimm]

Going in Tuesday to discuss DH's ASVAB results, and the breakdown of his score, and get assigned for BCT and pick out a job and thereby AIT and hopefully figure out a timeline for me and DS as regards to moving. Whew! This is exciting but stressful! More questions for you all, TIA!!!

Should we get Tricare Prime or Standard? We do not do WBV, are non-vaxers, and use a holistic dentist. We are planning a homebirth/unassisted birth for next baby (and subsequent LOs). We like to see a chiropractor every now and again. We hardly ever see a FP, yearly for physicals and some routine bloodwork for me and DH but that's it. I have some cervical issues that I have to deal with but we don't have insurance right now and I can't find a doctor willing to cooperate with me (and my anxiety) so it hasn't happened yet and will happen once we're on military health insurance, assuming I can find a doctor who gives a sh*t about me. We're okay with paying some co-pays/out of pocket for our non-mainstream practices but would like as much help from insurance as possible!

When should we be seeing those first checks? DH is torn because he wants to tell his job that he's joining the Army and will be leaving but knows that as soon as he lets them know they'll fire him. He's going to wait until 2 weeks exactly before the start of BCT. He'd like some time off to spend with us but we can't afford that...we'll have to live off savings until the Army money comes in, and right now we literally have $5.47 in our bank account, and some bills are already overdue, although DH does get paid today, half of his $800 check will be gone by tomorrow after we pay some bills, put gas in the car, buy some groceries, etc.

Is it true DH will get family separation pay as soon as he goes to BCT?

Do we go with him to AIT? I read something about 20 weeks, but do we have to go? I don't want to move twice in a few months time, and I don't want to live in a hotel for a month or so, either. We could probably go month-to-month on our current lease (which is up Sept. 1st) until DH gets his PCS (I think that's what he gets after AIT, right?).

If DH wants to be an MP how long of an AIT are we looking at?

I'm researching and charting the BAH for EVERY base so I can take it with us to the recruiter's office for Tuesday's decision making...it varies so much, it's frustrating! We know we want to live off post and I don't want to live overseas if we can help that at all...but we will go where DH goes, so but for the grace of God go I!

Any bases we absolutely want to avoid/areas around the bases where DS and I will be living and trying to make friends?

What about unschooling? We can still do it, right? Is it harder/easier/a total PITA? Location dependent? Do I have to submit paperwork to the Army and the state/country we live in or just the Army?

What a headache this is all turning out to be...you ladies amaze me with your strength!!!:thumb

And DH is definitely an E-3, and shooting for a bachelor's degree (has an assoc. already) as soon as he can get the time to take classes to bump up his rank some more. Spoke to my friend's dad (his dad was an MP, and he was in the Army, and his son...my friend's brother...is also in the Army) said that MPs can move up the ranks quickly. True/not true/depends?

On a lighter note...decided we're going to give our economical car (a 2001 Kia Rio that I bought my senior year of high school in spring of 2005) to my brother, who's a sophomore in college once money starts coming in. We won't need it and he has no car and deserves a break! Can't wait to find a nice, new, clean, quality home (no more apartments!!!) to live in. Where everything works as it should and I feel safe. Can't wait to buy all new furniture and all sorts of nice things we've wanted for a while. And we're going to get a puppy once we are settled! So proud of my hubby for joining the Army to make life better for us now and in the long term!:love

To Tatin: if I've learned anything so far it's write to your hubby as much as you can while he's gone! Just write about anything and everything, send him pictures of you and the kids if you can (even printed right on regular paper) just make sure they're wholesome/appropriate. My hubby is already looking forward to our letters when he goes to BCT. Stay positive, we are here for you! I second calling those you owe money to and explaining the situation, I'm sure they'll cut you a break. Call your church, go in the phonebook/online for food banks, call anyone who would be willing/able to help you...you deserve it!!!

As to questions about being an MP ( I know this one very well:wink)! MP school is BCT and AIT combined, its called OSUT and it lasts for 19 weeks. There is no break in between like most MOS's and families cannot come along. The MP Corp is one of the hardest MOS's to get promoted in...points are always maxed. Also in order to become a MP you have to have a ST score of 95 on the asvab and be able to obtain a government security clearance. The last time I knew in order to recieve an enlistment bonus you had to have an asvab score of 50 minimum.

I don't know if Tricare Prime or Standard will cover the drs that you are talking about...they have a referral program. Meaning you go see your Main Doctor and they have to put in a referral to Tricare and Tricare has to approve it. Dental Insurance is not covered by the Army its a premium you pay out of pocket.

Your DH will recieve his first direct deposit within 15 to 30 days after he does the paperwork at inprocessing which is located at BCT. It all depends on what day its done during the month since paydays are on the 1st and 15th. As for Family Separation its after 30 days of separation that it starts to be paid.

As for bases its going to depend on your DH's MOS...not every MOS is located at every base. Remember when the BAH is higher its means the COL is higher. Most of the time it pays to live on post because all you can afford with BAH off post are apartments or have to commute long distances. Also your DH's unit may have rules that he can't live but so many miles away or has to have a max response time.

Hope this helps!

[ValarieR]

I got an email from my love today... he has mailed the power of attny to me. As soon as it arrives, I can go and marry him. Without him being here. Alone. Yippee :(

I know I should be excited to be his wife, and all of the things I hate about being the girlfriend will go away... but I never thought I would be married this way! He knows it makes me sad, and has promised to throw a big anniversary party, complete with a ring ceremony and vow exchange.

He still hasn't told his mom that we're getting married, or that I am pregnant... nor has he told his CO's! Only his chaplain knows. This is all really weird.

And, after all of this effort, he is supposed to be home this fall, and out of the Army for good by Christmas (he has been stop-lossed; he should have been out already). :eyesroll

Sorry to be less than chipper... maybe it is just the preggo hormones talking, but this "wedding" makes me sad :(

[forlovebaby]

well, let's see, at my ds's last WBV (6mns) I was told to feed him more solids.

[mmgrimm]

I got an email from my love today... he has mailed the power of attny to me. As soon as it arrives, I can go and marry him. Without him being here. Alone. Yippee :(

I know I should be excited to be his wife, and all of the things I hate about being the girlfriend will go away... but I never thought I would be married this way! He knows it makes me sad, and has promised to throw a big anniversary party, complete with a ring ceremony and vow exchange.

He still hasn't told his mom that we're getting married, or that I am pregnant... nor has he told his CO's! Only his chaplain knows. This is all really weird.

And, after all of this effort, he is supposed to be home this fall, and out of the Army for good by Christmas (he has been stop-lossed; he should have been out already). :eyesroll

Sorry to be less than chipper... maybe it is just the preggo hormones talking, but this "wedding" makes me sad :(


:hug

[lisa_nc]

Awww, Valerie. :hug A wedding is one day but a good marriage is a lifetime. Love to you, mama.

[tinaMunoz]

Hello everyone,

I'm Christina- new to Mothering, and still semi-new to the natural parenting "movement." :D My husband is in the Army, currently deployed to Iraq, and I am living in Germany with our 2 boys. Gabriel is 4.5 and Liam is 6 months old. Being in the military has opened me up to a community of women who understand a lot of the issues I'm facing and can offer their support and friendship. But, past the deployment and single parenting issues, I can't say I have a whole lot in common with many of the women I know. Which is why I'm excited to be here. he he.

Military wives who cloth diaper, homeschool, and breastfeed? :joy: Now that is the total package. :wink

I'm looking forward to getting to know more about NP and reading about all u amazing ladies!!!

~Christina

[KatieJD]

Welcome Christina! Mothering is an awesome community and I'm glad that we all can have this resource available to us, I hope you're able to find lots of support here and maybe find some friends in your area :)

[gagin37]

hi and welcome to the new gals! i have been gone for a few weeks and am just now getting settled back in at home. dh has taken 24 days of leave and we spent the first 2 weeks of it traveling to see our families. we're spending the last week here at home cleaning, gardening, and trying to relax a bit. It will take me forever to get caught up on everyone's posts!

[KatieJD]

Welcome back, Claire! How did Robbie do with all the traveling? Enjoy this last week of vacation!

Not much to report here for us. DH is on block leave right now. I'm having some issues with early dilation so I'm forcing myself to relax for the next two weeks until I'm in the clear for my homebirth. Baby has been hanging out very low and putting lots of pressure on my cervix but I've been contracting at night for the last few days so I feel like I'm heading toward prodromal labor land (yuck).

[ValarieR]

Thanks for the love, ladies :) I'm feeling better- my honey finally told his Mom, and she is actually pretty excited for us (she's a fundie, so we were worried...)!!!

Hope all is well with you... I'll be an Army wife in less than three weeks!

[gagin37]

Welcome back, Claire! How did Robbie do with all the traveling? Enjoy this last week of vacation!

Not much to report here for us. DH is on block leave right now. I'm having some issues with early dilation so I'm forcing myself to relax for the next two weeks until I'm in the clear for my homebirth. Baby has been hanging out very low and putting lots of pressure on my cervix but I've been contracting at night for the last few days so I feel like I'm heading toward prodromal labor land (yuck).

he's not the happiest car traveler, i always end up in the back seat with him if we're more than an hour away. he does better now that he's older and can play and see out the window.

hope your babe decides to stay put for a few more weeks!

[KatieJD]

he's not the happiest car traveler, i always end up in the back seat with him if we're more than an hour away. he does better now that he's older and can play and see out the window.



Liam was the same way, I spent most of his first year in the back seat with him until he was better with traveling. He was around Robbie's age when he got better with it.

[LeslieB]

Hi. I'm Leslie. I've been a military wife for over 5 years and here at MDC for 3 years, but I don't remember if I ever joined this tribe.
We are currently at the Presidio of Monterey in Cali. My dh is in the Army, and we have one 3 year old son. We are supposed to leave here in a month, but dh doesn't have orders yet. We don't know when he's getting them, but I guess the later, the better, even though I'm VERY anxious to see where we go next. We've already planned a DITY move, and we're moving into our van in less than 2 weeks!! So we have a lot going on.
Anybody have any DITY experience/advice?

[Maluhia]

My input in BOLD :)


Should we get Tricare Prime or Standard? We do not do WBV, are non-vaxers, and use a holistic dentist.
You have to sign up for dental and pay monthly about $5 I think? Make sure your holistic dentist is even covered before bothering.
We are planning a homebirth/unassisted birth for next baby (and subsequent LOs).
I'd go prime until you are used to the system, as you won't have a deductible when you go to the ER which is about all the Tricare will cover of these things you have listed.
We like to see a chiropractor every now and again.
They might cover this for your DH, but not you or your child.
We hardly ever see a FP, yearly for physicals and some routine bloodwork for me and DH but that's it. I have some cervical issues that I have to deal with but we don't have insurance right now and I can't find a doctor willing to cooperate with me (and my anxiety) so it hasn't happened yet and will happen once we're on military health insurance, assuming I can find a doctor who gives a sh*t about me.
The only thing I will say is finding a long-term caring Dr. might be easier on Standard where you can go out and choose your Dr. rather than HAVE to go to the Dr.s in the military/teaching hospitals.
We're okay with paying some co-pays/out of pocket for our non-mainstream practices but would like as much help from insurance as possible!
Then maybe Standard but honestly I don't think even Standard will cover non-mainstream things like chiropractors and holistic Dr.s. It's an HMO and it sure acts like it.

When should we be seeing those first checks? DH is torn because he wants to tell his job that he's joining the Army and will be leaving but knows that as soon as he lets them know they'll fire him. He's going to wait until 2 weeks exactly before the start of BCT. He'd like some time off to spend with us but we can't afford that...we'll have to live off savings until the Army money comes in, and right now we literally have $5.47 in our bank account, and some bills are already overdue, although DH does get paid today, half of his $800 check will be gone by tomorrow after we pay some bills, put gas in the car, buy some groceries, etc.

Is it true DH will get family separation pay as soon as he goes to BCT?

Do we go with him to AIT? I read something about 20 weeks, but do we have to go? I don't want to move twice in a few months time, and I don't want to live in a hotel for a month or so, either. We could probably go month-to-month on our current lease (which is up Sept. 1st) until DH gets his PCS (I think that's what he gets after AIT, right?).
Only a few AITs have families going along - more often than not you won't be sent via the military.

If DH wants to be an MP how long of an AIT are we looking at?
Hard area to get into - need impeccable security clearance, ability to keep your debt low and not be a risk (ie. financial issues, etc.) and the promotions are super hard as there are so many qualified candidates.

I'm researching and charting the BAH for EVERY base so I can take it with us to the recruiter's office for Tuesday's decision making...it varies so much, it's frustrating! We know we want to live off post and I don't want to live overseas if we can help that at all...but we will go where DH goes, so but for the grace of God go I!
Living off post can be good for keeping a grip on civilian life BUT there is the downside that in 2 weeks time you have to figure out a town and where you want to live. Make sure to talk on FYT for your area once you know so you don't end up renting a pretty apartment in a so/so area of town. Also - beware that BAH rates are usually $2-400 below what it costs to rent the size/type of house they say it will in a given area. I always budget $300 more than BAH just for rent, and then come utilities. If you have any $ issues or are "just" going to make it on his pay I'd consider living in housing for your first tour or two.

Any bases we absolutely want to avoid/areas around the bases where DS and I will be living and trying to make friends?

What about unschooling? We can still do it, right? Is it harder/easier/a total PITA? Location dependent? Do I have to submit paperwork to the Army and the state/country we live in or just the Army?
Just the state/county - nothing to the Army :) It can be a PITA based on what state you are in but I will tell you that there are a ton of homeschoolers of all types in the military so you should be just fine.

What a headache this is all turning out to be...you ladies amaze me with your strength!!!:thumb

And DH is definitely an E-3, and shooting for a bachelor's degree (has an assoc. already) as soon as he can get the time to take classes to bump up his rank some more. Spoke to my friend's dad (his dad was an MP, and he was in the Army, and his son...my friend's brother...is also in the Army) said that MPs can move up the ranks quickly. True/not true/depends?
If he is that close to a Bachelors degree why is he not talking to an officer recruiter about the Army paying to send him to his last year of college and becoming an officer rather than joining enlisted and having to go through 50x the trouble to change to officer? FYI it is NOT in the best interest of his current (enlisted) recruiter to tell him this option exists.

On a lighter note...decided we're going to give our economical car (a 2001 Kia Rio that I bought my senior year of high school in spring of 2005) to my brother, who's a sophomore in college once money starts coming in.
Do you have another car you plan on sharing? Do you plan to wake up at 4 a.m. to drop him off for work in the morning?
We won't need it and he has no car and deserves a break! Can't wait to find a nice, new, clean, quality home (no more apartments!!!) to live in.
There are a lot of military families living in apartments because that is what BAH affords them, just so you know.
Where everything works as it should and I feel safe. Can't wait to buy all new furniture and all sorts of nice things we've wanted for a while. And we're going to get a puppy once we are settled!
It can be hard to be a military family with a pet - just know that you are adding stress. Get stationed in Hawaii? $$$$ and Quarantine, and as my aunt who is a Humane Society volunteer reminds me the biggest non-feral problem for ours and many other Humane Societies near Military bases is abandoned animals from Military families who are leaving and don't have time/$ to take animals and just set them out. So PLEASE get that puppy from a shelter. Also know it is 2x as hard to find rentals in a new town when you are only looking for places that take pets it can be a real burden.
So proud of my hubby for joining the Army to make life better for us now and in the long term!:love

To Tatin: if I've learned anything so far it's write to your hubby as much as you can while he's gone! Just write about anything and everything, send him pictures of you and the kids if you can (even printed right on regular paper) just make sure they're wholesome/appropriate. My hubby is already looking forward to our letters when he goes to BCT. Stay positive, we are here for you! I second calling those you owe money to and explaining the situation, I'm sure they'll cut you a break. Call your church, go in the phonebook/online for food banks, call anyone who would be willing/able to help you...you deserve it!!!

[LinzluvsGJ]

Quick off topic question: When I give birth the baby is automatically covered on insurance for a few days right? I don't have to do anything beforehand?

Baby will be automatically enrolled in prime for 60 days. During that time you need to get the baby enrolled in Deers and decide if you want the baby on prime or standard. :thumb

[LinzluvsGJ]

Should we get Tricare Prime or Standard? We do not do WBV, are non-vaxers, and use a holistic dentist. We are planning a homebirth/unassisted birth for next baby (and subsequent LOs). We like to see a chiropractor every now and again. We hardly ever see a FP, yearly for physicals and some routine bloodwork for me and DH but that's it. I have some cervical issues that I have to deal with but we don't have insurance right now and I can't find a doctor willing to cooperate with me (and my anxiety) so it hasn't happened yet and will happen once we're on military health insurance, assuming I can find a doctor who gives a sh*t about me. We're okay with paying some co-pays/out of pocket for our non-mainstream practices but would like as much help from insurance as possible!
We have standard, but only after we had been on prime for a while and decided it wasn't fitting our needs. Because your husband will be enlisted, there isn't a wait period before you could re-enroll in prime like there is with standard for officer's families, so you have more flexibility with moving from station to station. I would recommend starting out on prime at whatever base you start at and if it doesn't meet your needs, THEN switch to standard. There are no copays for MTF (military treatment facilities) under prime or standard, but availability is much less at MTFs for standard patients. Standard is typically seen off base at the doctor of your choosing, but you have to be sure they are an "approved" provider and take Tricare and will take patients for Tricare to cover their portion. I found it easier to stay on prime so I had things covered 100% and available care whenever needed until we had found a doctor who met our needs off base.
Tricare covers approved chiropractic (such as in the case of injury and referral from the physician) for the service member only, not dependants.
Dental care is an additional $5 a month per family member (there is a cap based off rank per month I believe on how much you have to pay) and pays out a considerably good portion of dental care. If you want a certain dentist and want to wait and see before enrolling, find out if they take United Concordia/Tricare dental first. It is something that we have found invaluable, however, because most oral surgeries and emergency dental care is only covered under the dental insurance, not Tricare as a whole. When my daughter fell and broke her tooth in half at age 2 and we needed to be seen right away to determine if something needed done, it was invaluable to have that coverage right then, not have to pay a specialist out of pocket.
Tricare will cover a homebirth with a Certified Nurse Midwife (not LM, not CPM). They will also cover all prenatal and postpartum care either on base (no charge) or off base on standard (a VERY low copay), delivery at approved hospitals, and at approved birthing centers. So where you seek your prenatal care even assuming you do an Unassisted birth, and where you would go if you had an emergency during delivery or postpartum factors in whether you would want to do prime or standard as well.

When should we be seeing those first checks?
Typically the first payperiod after he has started, though I will caution you that sometimes it does take 2 payperiods for them to get everything worked out (like we dealt with when my husband was at OTS). Payday is on the 1st and 15th of each month.

Do we go with him to AIT? I read something about 20 weeks, but do we have to go? I don't want to move twice in a few months time, and I don't want to live in a hotel for a month or so, either. We could probably go month-to-month on our current lease (which is up Sept. 1st) until DH gets his PCS (I think that's what he gets after AIT, right?).
You don't have to, no. I've done the hotel thing and it does suck, but was nice getting to see my husband not be completely seperated during that time. You could always go and visit during the schooling if you wanted to and get billeting during that time on base.

I'm researching and charting the BAH for EVERY base so I can take it with us to the recruiter's office for Tuesday's decision making...it varies so much, it's frustrating! We know we want to live off post and I don't want to live overseas if we can help that at all...but we will go where DH goes, so but for the grace of God go I!
BAH is set by the standard of living in the area which is why it varies by base. It doesn't make one base better than another, just tries to meet market pricing for rentals off base if necessary (and completely covers base housing no matter where you go). It can most definately fall short, however, for the area which you should be aware of because that extra cost will come out of your paycheck each month-- we pay about $300 over our BAH just for renting here in Albuquerque to live in a home that fit us in a decent area, plus our utilities. Since we still own our home in Ohio that we purchased while stationed there and it isn't currently rented, we are paying not only double BAH but about $500 over that each month.... which means our savings and ability to pay for things in general has suffered the last 7 months by quite a bit.
Living on base really isn't that bad-- we didn't have any problem with it at our first station (we lived on base the first two years, then purchased because the market was good and there is a good chance we will return to that base w/ my DH's job and it's a good rental property in the meantime). Right now we're on the waiting list to get onto base... it will save us a lot of money and a long commute. That is something to consider-- there isn't always a nice place to live close to the base outside the gates. A lot of bases are surrounded by pretty run down, and sometimes very crime-ridden areas meaning you have to go much further out to find somewhere nice to live meaning a long commute, gas spent driving back and forth, etc.

What about unschooling? We can still do it, right? Is it harder/easier/a total PITA? Location dependent?
We are homeschooling and it hasn't been a problem. Our current base even has a homeschool support group! A lot of military families homeschool because of the frequent moves so it's not something you'll likely have an issue with. You report based off state laws, so I just find it helpful to maintain a portfolio even if the state we're in doesn't require it for in the future when we move again (like right now in NM I'm not required to, but when we were in Ohio, it would have been required) so it makes bumps in the road less likely. I actually find it less of a PITA to homeschool than try to get my daughter into school w/ moving. We had a school we would have loved in Ohio that used a lot of montessori concepts, very low class ratio, affordable... here in NM we can't afford the schools like that, especially w/ 3 kids being in school by the time we leave in a few years. The charter schools you have to go based on lottery and are all over the city and require months in advance applications... it just isn't practical for us to do it that way.

And DH is definitely an E-3, and shooting for a bachelor's degree (has an assoc. already) as soon as he can get the time to take classes to bump up his rank some more. Spoke to my friend's dad (his dad was an MP, and he was in the Army, and his son...my friend's brother...is also in the Army) said
that MPs can move up the ranks quickly. True/not true/depends?
Based on that information, he should also speak with an officer recruiter, honestly. If he is wanting to move up in rank and plans to finish his bachelor's right away, it could be very beneficial to you and a lot easier to start out that route than try to change later.

Can't wait to buy all new furniture and all sorts of nice things we've wanted for a while.
Sorry...that made me giggle. I don't think we've bought much brand new stuff since my husband joined and he's been in 5 years now! We still buy used (military community is actually great for buying nice stuff used since some people don't want to haul things around from base to base or get stationed overseas for a while lol). For us the high point I guess was getting out of overwhelming debt from college and such prior to the military. It is most definitely nice having a reliable budget, though!!


The military life is such a huge transition, but it's an acquired taste. I've had to adjust to my husband traveling on short trips (1-2 weeks) and longer classes (3-4 months). A couple great books that I found helpful:
"Today's Military Wife" by Lydia Sloane Cline
"Heros at Home" by Ellie Kay (and really anything by Ellie Kay...she's a great author! a military wife and dedicated to helping families, especially military families, save money)

[LeslieB]

I also wanted to throw out Solo-Ops (http://www2.xlibris.com/bookstore/bookdisplay.asp?bookid=17211) by Hilary Martin as another good book for military wives.

[leosmommy]

.

[Bel]

I have been on this forum for ages, but this is my first time posting. I live in Northeast Iowa right now. Last year we lived in Chicago and before that London, UK. Now we are living in the area I was born in believe it or not.

Anyway, my husband came over here for his job, but after a year they pulled out of their international expansion and offered him his job back in London. There's no way we want to go back to the UK so we moved somewhere cheap and he tried to work for himself doing freelance copywriting (he had something that was supposed to go into Mothering, but I guess they never commissioned it because it should have been in by now). That's not really going as well as he had hoped so he's been looking for work. He almost got a job a few weeks ago and we realized his visa had expired and we still hadn't received his green card!

Well, a couple weeks ago he brought up joining the army. He's talked about it before. About how he wishes he had done it when he was younger. His mom totally coddled him and he really can't look after himself. Lord knows what he would do if I died and he had to take care of our girls on his own. I thought the notion would pass, but he's spoken to a recruiter, received info through the mail, taken a mock ASVAB (he got 96) and is training so that he can pass the physical (he's a bit overweight, but thinks he is clinically obese for some reason). He's even gone onto 3 meals a day with no snacks to condition himself for training! So I guess he's really gonna do this!

If you read the stuff from the Army, it all makes it sounds wonderful and like it's totally worth it for all the bonuses and benefits. But everything I have looked up about being an army WIFE says that it's basically crap. It's really hard and life really sucks.

Someone tell me something good about it! I mean, I figured it was going to be a rough lot, but I thought I'd go online and people would be like, "yeah, there's this list of good points about it that makes up for the crappy bits". But according to all websites it's just rubbish.

Gulp.

[gagin37]

Someone tell me something good about it! I mean, I figured it was going to be a rough lot, but I thought I'd go online and people would be like, "yeah, there's this list of good points about it that makes up for the crappy bits". But according to all websites it's just rubbish.

Gulp.

Dh is AF, but for us, the only plus right now is job/financial security for at least the next couple years. Other than that.... meh :shake Neither of us is very happy with our situation.

[KatieJD]

Dh is AF, but for us, the only plus right now is job/financial security for at least the next couple years. Other than that.... meh :shake Neither of us is very happy with our situation.

Army here, but yeah I have to agree with this. It can be very hard and you have to keep a positive/open mind a lot of the time just as a coping mechanism. It is nice having job security and financial stability at times but in reality it doesn't replace a lot of the crap we've had to go through. You can't really put a price on family and all of the important things that go along with it as a trade-off, at least I can't.

[KatieJD]

Tricky tricare question -

I'm still on the search for a new doctor for DS and new baby to be. We have a naturopath but because of the licensing procedures here in NC they cannot give prescriptions. I'm trying to find a backup doctor, and have found several who will work in conjunction with our ND but have been given several reasons as to why we can't use them. One being that because we have Tricare, and they cannot accept Tricare, they would be committing fraud by accepting payments in cash from us and not billing our insurance. Has anybody been through this before? One doctor I spoke to said its normally not a problem for people with insurance to pay out of pocket but that this is a specific issue with Tricare.

[bubbamummy]

Hi ladies, please may I join your tribe? I am sophie, English mummy to Samuel who is 14months and wife to my American Airman. We met while he was stationed in the UK and I had my DS while in England too. We moved here to Tucson, Az last July :)

Some info on us: I had a wonderful med free birth with a midwife in the UK, we co-slept for the 1st year and I 100% pumped also for the 1st year (hideous stupid BFing issues :() we delay/selectively vaccinate and much to my husbands families disgust my DS is intact :lol

[marimara]

If you read the stuff from the Army, it all makes it sounds wonderful and like it's totally worth it for all the bonuses and benefits. But everything I have looked up about being an army WIFE says that it's basically crap. It's really hard and life really sucks.

Someone tell me something good about it! I mean, I figured it was going to be a rough lot, but I thought I'd go online and people would be like, "yeah, there's this list of good points about it that makes up for the crappy bits". But according to all websites it's just rubbish.

Gulp.

Well I wanted to chime in here since I've got 10 years as a AF Spouse and 4 years Active Duty under my belt.

It's not easy for sure. But compared to outside jobs and benefits, there's no question. Of course, I'm sure you've read all about the benefits but I'll go over the big ones again that mean the most to us.

Health benefits: Civilian health care costs sooo much. It's FREE! It's not perfect and it's not always great but it's FREE. (If you have Tricare Prime that is :wink)

Tax free shopping on base/post: This saves an average family 30% at every grocery bill. I've checked it, it's true.

The community: You will always have a built-in support network wherever you go.

Travel: How else can you travel the world for free? Make that, get PAID to travel the world. You can fly on a "hop" anywhere in the world, Also called "Space A " travel. There are numerous military cottages, resorts, and cabins all over the world.

Guaranteed paycheck. As long as you don't mess up.

Pension: What other job is going to give a monthly pension and health benefits (for a nominal charge) after only 20 years? None that I've heard of. We've been in 13 years, got 7 more to go, then we're free! Oh, we'll be 39! Pension and health bennies at 39! Since we have no other debt and will own a house outright we won't have to get full time fancy jobs. The simple life. You can save TONS of $$ in the military if done right. Start early, SAVE! Save every promotion, act like you are still the lower rank, spending wise.

Leave: What other job gives you 30 days PAID vacation time the first year on the job? Again, none that I've heard of. Of course this is Air Force stuff, but my brother is in the Army and it seems pretty similar.

Relocation: They come and pack your stuff up and move it for FREE! and they unpack it when you get there!

College: while active duty college tuition and books are 100% Free, the GI Bill can now be passed down to children in the AF. That means dh will get his Masters free and still have roughly $40k to give our dd for college.
--------------------------------------------------
Ok, now the bad stuff:

Deployments: They suck. They really do, we all hate them. Make sure your marriage is strong. Get involved in the unit. Stay connected. Write letters, send care packages, talk on the webcam, email, whatever you can do.

Last minute phone calls, and other BS from the unit. No job is perfect but the military is the best choice for us.

I agree that family time can't be given back. It's precious. We make it work. My dh will retire when dd is 9 years old. That's when we all get to be together almost 100% of the time since neither of us will require a full time job since we've been saving ever since 1998.

So that's my story. If you can make it work, it's great. It's all a big balance, as in anything.

[nia82]

It's now been a year that we are in the AF. Tricare was ok so far. However, we are PCSing (I'm in Europe with my folks right now while DH is on a TDY in AL) currently and will arrive mid-May at our new base (FE Warren, WY). I'M anxious about the pediatrician there. If she throws a fit because of vaxxing, I will have to look off-base for docs, however, not too many docs contract with Tricare.

This time we will do base housing for the gorgeous brick houses. If I don't like it, we'll move off-base. I have no experience with base-living or the community so far as we were in a student squadron with people changing every 6 weeks in CA. They were nice though, mostly. Just nobody shared my parenting style, all 'mainstream', one mom even spanked her kids and thought that's ok. :angry

So far it's been not bad. I only have issues with Tricare. Sure I'm happy that ER and so on is for free, but being European that's nothing new to me. I'M unhappy about the birth choices (or lack thereof), that no hollistic docs are Tricare covered, etc. I hope we will be sent to Germany one day cause I can just check in with German healthcare for me and the kiddos :) Chances are slim though with DH's specialty.

[bubbamummy]

Tricare called me last week for putting Sam at 'undue risk' for choosing to aviod some of their insane vaccinations.

I have found that they will foot the bill to deliver at the Tucson Birthing center, which is cool :) My friend had both of her babies there :)

[Maluhia]

Bleh. undue risk might BE VACCINATING is what I'd say back. Silly HMOs.


I'm doing well going through our current deployment although I've realized that I need to be on antidepressants but only on sea tours, I can manage without for the most part on shore tours. Sad reality of the stress of this life.

[KarlaC]

Any of you at Bragg have a pediatrician you can recommend? I'm not planning on using the on post dr's at all & Cape Fear would really like me to have a ped set up before the birth.

[gagin37]

Any of you at Bragg have a pediatrician you can recommend? I'm not planning on using the on post dr's at all & Cape Fear would really like me to have a ped set up before the birth.

Wish I could, cause I really don't like our ped on base.

[KatieJD]

Any of you at Bragg have a pediatrician you can recommend? I'm not planning on using the on post dr's at all & Cape Fear would really like me to have a ped set up before the birth.

If you're willing to travel I can give you several recommendations in Cary or Raleigh. At this point there are very few if any doctors that accept Tricare who are accepting patients that I would personally want to go to, I'm currently paying out of pocket for everything.

[KarlaC]

If you're willing to travel I can give you several recommendations in Cary or Raleigh. At this point there are very few if any doctors that accept Tricare who are accepting patients that I would personally want to go to, I'm currently paying out of pocket for everything.

That'd work. I have a list from the hospital I just haven't called any of them yet.

[meganbarr]

Bel-

In my opinion there are LOTS of great benefits to being a military wife. The biggest one for me has been finding out how strong I actually am. DH and I married young so I went from living with my family to living with my husband. I have always been dependant one someone else, however, as a miltary spouse I have gotten to see how independant I can be. The separations have been REALLY hard, but they have been an amazing growing experience for me.

In the current economy, I am so greatful that DH is guarenteed to keep his job and health care benfits. I dont have to worry about us waking up tomorrow in financial peril.

I also love the fact that if we dont like where we are living, its ok because we arent going to have to stay forever. Living different places is even better than traveling because you get to live somewhere and truly learn about the culture there. Even moving around the US has been a great learning experience for me.

Of course there are all the other benefits that the recruiter will tell you about, so I wont bore you with those. However, would like to point out that EVERYONE complains about their jobs and most wives complain about the time their DHs spend at work regardless of them being in the military or not. Like everything else in life, you can choose to look at the negative aspects (and its easy because they will always be there) or choose to look at the positive aspects and be happy. Maybe Im nieve but I think that most of the time happiness is a choice!

[Bel]

THANK YOU for saying something positive about being an army wife! My husband is just waiting for his green card to come (it got sent back to Texas and couldn't be located for ages, but is meant to be here by the end of next week) and then he's going to go see a recruiter.

Surprisingly actually, all the bad things people have to say about it haven't phased me. I've found most of the bad things are said by people who only have 2nd or 3rd hand experience of it. My friend's husband is at his 2nd round of training (the one where they train for their job. There's too many acronyms!) and she seems to be happy with things. I met her because I was her doula. She hired me because her husband graduated Basic training ON her due date and I remember feeling SOOO sorry for her. Now I will be in the same boat! Irony.

So yeah, the bad comments haven't phased me much. We kind of tend to just jump into things whole hearted. We almost went to Asia for my husbands last job. At first I was weary, but after 10 minutes I was just like, "Yeah. Let's do it. It'll be a new experience". And everything since we've just taken the same attitude about. Plus, I lived on an army base in Germany when I was little so it's not completely new to me.

I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY hope he doesn't get stationed in Alaska though. I'll cry. I hate the cold!

[Bel]

Oh, and I agree about never seeing your husband. Right now my husband is in corporate work and he HATES it. It makes him so unhappy. When we lived in London, we made nearly 80k one year, but in the end all we had to show for it was 10k on our credit card and 1 hour a day for my girls to see their daddy.

[MangoMommy]

I've been a Navy wife for over 14 yrs and I love it. I've (and the kids!) got to live in some pretty awesome places. Right now we are in Hawaii, it's incredible. Before this was the coast of Maine, Italy, Florida, all over the place! All on the Navy's dime. :) It makes it much easier to travel when you are already there LOL! And I'm happy with the different cultural and historical experiences that my children are getting. I grew up in Ohio and hardly left the state until we moved when I was in high school. I'm happy my kids are having the opposite childhood...they've been to so many states, seen things many people don't see in this lifetime (like flowing lava from an active volcano,etc) and experienced different cultures/food,etc.


There are many positives!

[ValarieR]

I marry my soldier in less than four days :) I'm starting to get a little excited, even though this whole non-traditional thing is still weird for me ;)

Hope you ladies are having a great week!
Valarie

[dhinderliter]

DH boards his flight on his way to Bagrum this morning. :( Very dissapointed about other things. We're getting divorced when he gets back in Sept. He didn't even spend the last day with his kids. So very sad. I had hoped for better out of this life. I don't even think we'll hear from him but a handful of times. :(

[KatieJD]

DH boards his flight on his way to Bagrum this morning. :( Very dissapointed about other things. We're getting divorced when he gets back in Sept. He didn't even spend the last day with his kids. So very sad. I had hoped for better out of this life. I don't even think we'll hear from him but a handful of times. :(

:hug I'm so sorry. If there's anything you need you or if you just need a shoulder don't hesitate to PM me.

[meganbarr]

So I have this crazy idea....

I just wanted to see what you ladies would think about it. I am currently working on my bachelors of nursing degree and then I would like to go to midwifery school. When I am finished, I am going to have a TON of debt. I recently met a woman who commisioned in the Navy to pay off her student loans. My DH is currently active duty air force, so I looked into officer medical jobs in the af and they actually have CNMs! I talked to DH and he is all for it, but Im just wondering if any of you other mama's knew any other dual military families. We only have one child and dont plan to have any more and my husband is a GREAT father who I know would be more than capable of taking care of her if Im away. Also, how would things work with me being an officer and him being enlisted?

[MangoMommy]

DH says you can go in officer if he's already enlisted. At least in the Navy it's ok. They don't make him get out or anything.

Good luck!

[KarlaC]

So I have this crazy idea....

I just wanted to see what you ladies would think about it. I am currently working on my bachelors of nursing degree and then I would like to go to midwifery school. When I am finished, I am going to have a TON of debt. I recently met a woman who commisioned in the Navy to pay off her student loans. My DH is currently active duty air force, so I looked into officer medical jobs in the af and they actually have CNMs! I talked to DH and he is all for it, but Im just wondering if any of you other mama's knew any other dual military families. We only have one child and dont plan to have any more and my husband is a GREAT father who I know would be more than capable of taking care of her if Im away. Also, how would things work with me being an officer and him being enlisted?

Not a bad idea at all, I do believe if you have kids you must have a concrete plan in place showing who will take care of them in the event you're both deployed though fwiw.

Dh & his ex wife were both military at the same time & that was a req. for them, still is for her since she's air force & single with dh being AD also.

[marimara]

So I have this crazy idea....

I just wanted to see what you ladies would think about it. I am currently working on my bachelors of nursing degree and then I would like to go to midwifery school. When I am finished, I am going to have a TON of debt. I recently met a woman who commisioned in the Navy to pay off her student loans. My DH is currently active duty air force, so I looked into officer medical jobs in the af and they actually have CNMs! I talked to DH and he is all for it, but Im just wondering if any of you other mama's knew any other dual military families. We only have one child and dont plan to have any more and my husband is a GREAT father who I know would be more than capable of taking care of her if Im away. Also, how would things work with me being an officer and him being enlisted?

Both my and dh were in the AF at the same time a long time ago, before kids. Now he is just in. We know several dual military families, including some enlisted/officer combos. It is challenging for sure, but the base has many things to offer in the way of child care, activities, youth center, etc. Being both enlisted/officer you just have to be careful about mixing your social circles that's all. It's not really a big deal. You do have to have family care plan as to who will care for your child when you are away. Its your dh in a job that he will deploy or TDY too? If so, then you might want to have some family live near you so that your kids has a place to go in case both of your are gone. We know people who are both military (AF, enlisted) and they do have complications that sometimes other coworkers frown upon. Like for instance, she won't ever come in before 6am since she can't drop off her kids at child development before then. Even though she's not really allowed to do that. You're supposed to have a plan for all the time. That is the biggest challenge. As well as your child missing both his parents! I have thought about going back in but this time as an officer now that I have a BS. But I have literally NO ONE who could help out with child and home care if were were both away, and dh is gone often, so.....Well, good luck with whatever you choose!

[dhinderliter]

:hug I'm so sorry. If there's anything you need you or if you just need a shoulder don't hesitate to PM me.

thank you. i have liked the military lifestyle and its all i've ever known so it's going to be very very weird to not have access to the base any time i want. we've never pcs'd so that is actually something i was actually wanting to do! it's going to be a difficult summer but i think the hardest time is the next month or so. not only adjusting to no dad but also comeing to terms with everything. i don't even think dh got me a general POA. :irked: i was considering refi'ing the house since rates are at least a whole % lower than ours is. now i can't do that b/c i have no "income".

i know a dual milt. family. they are constantly working. i feel so sorry that the wife spends almost 12 hours a day working or dropping off kids and then spends her weekends never resting! i know they both like their jobs and don't want to give them up but i am in AWE of her especially.

[impromptukiss]

hey ladies! i'm new to the thread. :)

dh is navy & he's on shore durty right now here in denver. :) we were in virginia for 4.5 years, so it's a nice change!

off to read through the thread!

[impromptukiss]

DH boards his flight on his way to Bagrum this morning. :( Very dissapointed about other things. We're getting divorced when he gets back in Sept. He didn't even spend the last day with his kids. So very sad. I had hoped for better out of this life. I don't even think we'll hear from him but a handful of times. :(

i'm so sorry danielle. :(

[sapphire_chan]

:shy dh just swore into the National Guard today.

He graduates from college May 10 and his first drill weekend is the 16th.

Then he goes to basic in July. For his area, MOS?, it'll be 16 weeks total.

He's been working really hard, but is color blind and can't do half the stuff he wants to do. :( But he's been told that for officers that doesn't matter so much and that what he does while he's enlisted won't necessarily dictate what he does if/when he gets commissioned (his longer term plan.)

He's also heard that there's ROTC for masters degrees?

Meanwhile, he needs a civilian job too. But isn't sure about trying to apply for a job and saying "but I'll be gone for 4 months in a few weeks." Any experience, suggestions?

Um... yeah, so I'm feeling a bit clueless and look forward to reading about this.

:wave

[KatieJD]

Hi and welcome :D
My DH is currently an officer with the National Guard on active duty orders. He was a reservist prior to commissioning while he was in college. I highlighted my answers in bold, if you have any more questions feel free to ask away!

:shy dh just swore into the National Guard today.

He graduates from college May 10 and his first drill weekend is the 16th.

Then he goes to basic in July. For his area, MOS?, it'll be 16 weeks total.
What is his MOS going to be?

He's been working really hard, but is color blind and can't do half the stuff he wants to do. :( But he's been told that for officers that doesn't matter so much and that what he does while he's enlisted won't necessarily dictate what he does if/when he gets commissioned (his longer term plan.)
This is true, the only thing he really couldn't do is be a pilot as far as I know. Once he becomes an officer his job is going to depend more on what the Army needs rather than what he did prior to commissioning, but prior to commissioning he'll be able to rank his preferences of what he'd like to branch. It depends on a number of factors like GPA, what activities he's involved in, PT score, etc. If he chooses to become an NG officer rather than active duty, he can choose his branch if he can find a unit that needs a slot filled. Definitely advise him to research all branches if he decides to go active duty to see what everything is like.

He's also heard that there's ROTC for masters degrees?
There is ROTC for masters degrees, I think the Army may actually pay for college if he does it but I don't know much about it. If he hasn't talked to an ROTC recruiter yet I strongly advise that he do so because they will be able to tell him a lot more. My DH used to be an ROTC recruiter so I can try and answer some questions as well.

Meanwhile, he needs a civilian job too. But isn't sure about trying to apply for a job and saying "but I'll be gone for 4 months in a few weeks." Any experience, suggestions?
It may be hard to find a job, it would definitely need to be something he needs to set up in advance but there may be employers willing to work with him.

Um... yeah, so I'm feeling a bit clueless and look forward to reading about this.

:wave

[Sarah W]

I talked to DH and he is all for it, but Im just wondering if any of you other mama's knew any other dual military families. We only have one child and dont plan to have any more and my husband is a GREAT father who I know would be more than capable of taking care of her if Im away. Also, how would things work with me being an officer and him being enlisted?

We're dual military. We've both been in 10+ years and have been married for over 5. I love it, but I can't imagine being married to a civilian.

The officer/enlisted thing doesn't matter, since you were married prior to being commissioned. The pay is GREAT, we make bank.

You will have to have a family care plan, the same as single soldiers with children. It just covers who will care for your child if you are both deployed at the same time.

The bad will be in my next post... :lol:

[Sarah W]

So, I've been absent from here for a while...because I'm deployed. I'm in Afghanistan, down in Kandahar. I left on 13 Mar and arrived in country on the 16th. Spent two days in Baghram and finally got to KAF!

I'm here for a year, but I'll get 2 weeks R&R sometime.

Things are OK, it's hard to be away from home. DD is 7 1/2 months old. She just got two teeth and can sit up by herself one you sit her up. She looks so different from the last time I saw her. DH is still in Key West and he's doing a fantastic job of taking care of DD.

[sapphire_chan]

Hi and welcome :D
My DH is currently an officer with the National Guard on active duty orders. He was a reservist prior to commissioning while he was in college. I highlighted my answers in bold, if you have any more questions feel free to ask away!

Thanks!

His MOS is laundry. In driving distance of Indianapolis (he'll be up in Fort Wayne) the two things he could've possibly done were infantry (his first choice) and that (both critical functions). Only he can't tell the difference between a red light and a white light. It's really sad, he got the 99th percentile for his ASVAB, can do 100 push-ups without much effort, and runs TWO miles in 15 minutes. If not for his eyes he could do literally anything.

Yay that he only couldn't be a pilot as an officer.

[sapphire_chan]

New question, how do you all keep track of all the papers? Just found out *we're* expected to keep track of all his documentation and paper management is my worst organization area.

[sapphire_chan]

One being that because we have Tricare, and they cannot accept Tricare, they would be committing fraud by accepting payments in cash from us and not billing our insurance.Bull. We pay out of pocket for all medical care because we don't have any insurance. If you're willing/able to pay the bill yourself your insurance shouldn't matter at all.

[KatieJD]

Bull. We pay out of pocket for all medical care because we don't have any insurance. If you're willing/able to pay the bill yourself your insurance shouldn't matter at all.

I've pretty much given up on that doctor's office. Their billing person refuses to speak to me on the phone so I think they just don't want to take patients who pay out of pocket. I spoke with Tricare and they told me the same thing, that paying out of pocket has nothing to do with Tricare and isn't against the law or illegal in any way.

As for organizing papers, we organize everything in a filing cabinet. I never throw anything out because we may end up needing it at some point down the road so I just try to keep it all as organized as possible. You tend to get the same things over and over so I try to organize either by date or type of document (like if its related to travel).

Have they told him anything about deployments and when he should expect to deploy?

[sapphire_chan]

Have they told him anything about deployments and when he should expect to deploy?
Nope. Only that he'll be doing things up in Fort Wayne, IN (I don't know what the military facility (post?) is called up there). He's doing reserves not active duty though so that might be different?

I think he might be interested in active duty, but I don't want to move a lot. OTOH, all the talk about living in different countries and different parts of the U.S. sounds kind of cool--except we have cats and I suck at meeting new people.

[sapphire_chan]

I've pretty much given up on that doctor's office. Their billing person refuses to speak to me on the phone so I think they just don't want to take patients who pay out of pocket. Probably. And if they're going to be like that, unprofessional, they don't deserve your business. :fingersx: that you find a good solution soon!

[tryingforbaby]

Hi mommas

Hubby is looking at re-enlisting into the Army within the next 6 months. In terms of preperation. What do you suggest I start working on now.... He's working on getting back to the awsome shape he was (I think he still is... men!) so that he can beat his last PT test. I am working on paying off debt and building a emergency fund. I am thinking that I should be building a moving fund. How much does it normaly cost when you move? My SIL told me to pay down only and put a good 5,000 or more in a moving fund so I don't have to charge much of anything. Does this sound right? Any extra money can then pay off the cc's.

Thanks!

[mmgrimm]

Hi mommas

Hubby is looking at re-enlisting into the Army within the next 6 months. In terms of preperation. What do you suggest I start working on now.... He's working on getting back to the awsome shape he was (I think he still is... men!) so that he can beat his last PT test. I am working on paying off debt and building a emergency fund. I am thinking that I should be building a moving fund. How much does it normaly cost when you move? My SIL told me to pay down only and put a good 5,000 or more in a moving fund so I don't have to charge much of anything. Does this sound right? Any extra money can then pay off the cc's.

Thanks!

Its always better to have a good moving fund saved up. The movers pack, move, and unpack everything for you but there can be alot of out of pocket expenses. If there is no housing available where you move then you have to pay all the deposits and first months rent...the army pays BAH for rent but all the deposits are out of your pocket. Plus they pay nothing for pets...no transportation costs even. Also when you get to your new duty station you will have to pay for lodging until you find a place to live. Alot of things are reimbursed later but having a moving fund will make the move alot less stressful. You can always pay off the cc's after being reimbursed...this way no more debt added on.

[gagin37]

New question, how do you all keep track of all the papers? Just found out *we're* expected to keep track of all his documentation and paper management is my worst organization area.


I let dh be responsible for all his mess of papers, and I do mean MESS! Since I don't know what any of them are for, I don't try to keep track of them (and he doesn't ask me to). He piles stuff up and inevitably loses things he needs.

[sapphire_chan]

Ergh. He's going to need a medical waiver to get to be an officer with his color blindness. Since it's apparently a difficult fight, any ideas of things he can do now to start that process?

[meganbarr]

Have any of you ladies been to Nellis AFB? DH is looking into applying for special duty as Red Horse there. Im not sure how I feel about it, but I have family in Las Vegas so that would be nice. Also, I am a full time student, so how would I go about finding out if my credits will transfer?

[lalemma]

Hiya mamas,

I'm pregnant with my first and married to an Army Reservist. Our insurance is through Tricare Reserve Select. I'm trying to figure out if Tricare will help with the cost of a home birth with a CNM. This is in Los Angeles, and the Tricare website shows the closest network midwives to be in Oceanside. I'm not expecting full coverage, but anything that would offset the 4k would help! Will it depend on the specific midwife? Should I just call everyone I can find who offers homebirths in LA and ask if they take Tricare?

Any ideas? I'm trying to get informed before I talk to the Tricare folks. :)

Thanks!

[mbhf]

Tricare paid for my homebirths in NY, I was on Prime Remote, I don't know anything about Reserve Select but I assume they are at least somewhat similar. If you are using a CNM, I would think you could get it paid for. My MW had to bill differently, she usually bills the whole cost at once, but tricare only paid $1400 (of $5500) for the actual birth. The rest was (mostly) paid by her billing for individual visits, they paid $2-300 for each visit. The actual numbers vary by location though, so mine are just examples.

[Soul-O]

Hi Mamas:

I'm happy to be back amongst you after about a month's absence. We are settled in now at Ft. Lewis, and were lucky enough to get nice housing without a wait at neighboring McChord AFB. McChord is so clean and quiet compared to Lewis, and the neighborhood is really terrific. My boys made immediate friends, and I'm branching out a bit to make some pals of my own! My DH was assigned to a brand new brigade that is supposed to be developed, organized, and off to the war within 12 months of inception, so he's been working late nights since we arrived. I don't expect to see much of him while he is in garrison, which will be hard on the kids (who were without him for four months while he was at MIBOLC). Compounding our troubles is my autoimmune disorder, which has returned after a period of remission. I could use some help with the kids, but it doesn't look as though it will be forthcoming. Sigh... at least the scenery is gorgeous, and there's lots to do around here!

Re: Tricare

The Tricare office in this area is really pushing Prime patients out into the community, so we were able to chose a super-crunchy practice that is very non or selective vax friendly, does house calls, has a lactation consultant on staff, and even has therapy dogs walking around (thanks to Aloha Melly for the recommendation!). The best news is that Tricare covers the visits with this practice 100%.

Off to take care of a little one in need - will catch up with everyone later!

[kirstenb]

Haven't posted here in a bit but just checking in with everyone. We are doing well here, DH has a month left in his recruit cycle and then he will have 2 weeks off before another cycle starts. Not much of a break since he will be spending most of that time preparing for the next one!

I had to switch to Tricare Standard to use the birth center we are using which I'm not too happy about but it was either that or pay out of pocket which we couldn't afford right now.

[marimara]

Hi Mamas:

I'm happy to be back amongst you after about a month's absence. We are settled in now at Ft. Lewis, and were lucky enough to get nice housing without a wait at neighboring McChord AFB. McChord is so clean and quiet compared to Lewis, and the neighborhood is really terrific. My boys made immediate friends, and I'm branching out a bit to make some pals of my own! My DH was assigned to a brand new brigade that is supposed to be developed, organized, and off to the war within 12 months of inception, so he's been working late nights since we arrived. I don't expect to see much of him while he is in garrison, which will be hard on the kids (who were without him for four months while he was at MIBOLC). Compounding our troubles is my autoimmune disorder, which has returned after a period of remission. I could use some help with the kids, but it doesn't look as though it will be forthcoming. Sigh... at least the scenery is gorgeous, and there's lots to do around here!

Re: Tricare

The Tricare office in this area is really pushing Prime patients out into the community, so we were able to chose a super-crunchy practice that is very non or selective vax friendly, does house calls, has a lactation consultant on staff, and even has therapy dogs walking around (thanks to Aloha Melly for the recommendation!). The best news is that Tricare covers the visits with this practice 100%.

Off to take care of a little one in need - will catch up with everyone later!


I just found out that my brother is getting stationed at Fort Lewis, he is supposed to arrive in August. He's just getting out of basic and AIT. He's excited, he's never been to Washington!

[justKate]

Hi mamas. I haven't posted here in a while, but wanted to say hello. Huz is in the Coast Guard and I'm going back to work on Monday, so I took DD to see the CDC where she'll be going during the day. Not sure how its going to work out, but our rotation date is this summer so it won't be for long.... Its going to kill me to leave her there on Monday!

Sarah W, we're also in Key West. Does your DD happen to go to the CDC?

[DoulamamaOE]

Hi All!
I'm Nessa, DH is a Marine Corps reserve and we're going active Navy sometime this month (hopefully, I'll believe it when it happens)

I am so glad I found this! I have NO AP friends, they are all mainstream and I'm the "hippie" so it's great to talk to likeminded military wives!!

We're in Oak Harbor WA now, but my DH is going to be a Nuke so we'll be going to South Carolina for his schooling. Anyone there, or ever been there with some wisdom for me?

[Alohamelly]

Hi Mamas:

I'm happy to be back amongst you after about a month's absence. We are settled in now at Ft. Lewis, and were lucky enough to get nice housing without a wait at neighboring McChord AFB. McChord is so clean and quiet compared to Lewis, and the neighborhood is really terrific. My boys made immediate friends, and I'm branching out a bit to make some pals of my own! My DH was assigned to a brand new brigade that is supposed to be developed, organized, and off to the war within 12 months of inception, so he's been working late nights since we arrived. I don't expect to see much of him while he is in garrison, which will be hard on the kids (who were without him for four months while he was at MIBOLC). Compounding our troubles is my autoimmune disorder, which has returned after a period of remission. I could use some help with the kids, but it doesn't look as though it will be forthcoming. Sigh... at least the scenery is gorgeous, and there's lots to do around here!

Re: Tricare

The Tricare office in this area is really pushing Prime patients out into the community, so we were able to chose a super-crunchy practice that is very non or selective vax friendly, does house calls, has a lactation consultant on staff, and even has therapy dogs walking around (thanks to Aloha Melly for the recommendation!). The best news is that Tricare covers the visits with this practice 100%.

Off to take care of a little one in need - will catch up with everyone later!

Welcome to the area! I'm glad you are happy with the Pediatrics place. I have some friends who aren't happy there anymore, but I've had nothing but good experiences.

I like McChord. I've been going over there for the commissary lately because I'm guaranteed to get the expectant mother's spot! :p

[Sarah W]

Hi mamas. I haven't posted here in a while, but wanted to say hello. Huz is in the Coast Guard and I'm going back to work on Monday, so I took DD to see the CDC where she'll be going during the day. Not sure how its going to work out, but our rotation date is this summer so it won't be for long.... Its going to kill me to leave her there on Monday!

Sarah W, we're also in Key West. Does your DD happen to go to the CDC?

Yep! She's in the infant room right now. I wasn't too thrilled with leaving her in the beginning, but I'm really happy with the CDC so far. They really encourage a variety of activities for the children, I like that they go on daily walks. I really like the teachers and they really seem to love her.

When I was in the US, she only went 5-6 days a month, but now she's there daily because it's only DH taking care of her. I'm glad that she has that type of place to go to.

Before I enrolled her, I sat right in the entrance (in the couches to the left once you walk inside) and watched families come in during the morning. The children all seemed excited and the lady at the counter knew almost every child's name.

DH said she had water day a couple days ago, and he took her in her little swimsuit. I'm still waiting for the pics.

[KatieJD]

New thread (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?p=13706857#post13706857) for may-june