Aaarrrgh! When I found out ds would not make it into the public Montessori was not open for ds next year, and his current school wasn't doing a kindergarten program, I put his name on lists for other schools around town. Of course, a week later, our school tells us that she will run a kindergarten program if there are 3 parents interested (many people pull their kids at kindergarten age to send them to free all day kindy). Since I'm happier with some things now that he's in this classroom, I was thrilled and thought that solved all our questions about next year.

Until today. When I got a call from one of the other schools which has an opening. Now I'm stuck again. This is the third time I've put his name on their waiting list. I would feel like a fool turning them down AGAIN.

Pros of where ds is: DS knows teacher (who I'm becoming more comfortable with), ds knows school, this teacher has gotten to know him this year and understands his abilities and needs, has made some friendships, director makes efforts to reach out to parents with parties and visit days, tuition includes afterschool care until 5:30, ds making nice progress with reading - something touted about her program specifically - as well as other skills

Cons of where he is: Teacher not the most outwardly warm and gentle - kind of "old school" in her approach to discipline (time outs vs. redirection, authoratative vs. gentle guidance, it seems to me) although she does seem to care about the students and has been a lot kinder since she's gotten to know ds; school is in a small, older home that can seem a little cramped (but I mostly feel that when a lot of adults are crammed into the rooms for parent days)


Pros of other place: Open and bright, big rooms; beautiful nature garden, a natural playground, and some animals in classrooms (ds loves the animals); have a French program (for extra cost) with a French native (ds is bilingual English/French), staff "seems" more bright and cheerful and it gives a more welcoming impression (have not observed extensively), children get two work cycles during the day

Cons of the other place: DS wouldn't know teachers/routines/kids while entering his kindy year (last year of primary cycle); more costly when including afterschool care; ds may need to re-normalize into the new environment and it may take teachers a while to get to understand his skills


Any insights? I know it's unreasonable to ask people who are completely removed for advice. But maybe something specific jumps out that I'm not weighing heavily enough... TIA!

I have to say that the new school sounds wonderful! I'm a little confused about how the kindy program would work at the current school-- does that mean there might only be 2 other kids of kindergarten age in his class? Also, will either school allow you to continue past K, or are you considering that? B/c it would definitely be worth switching schools if there is a possibility that you'd continue at the new place.

I guess the important factors are 1) how well does your DS transition? do you anticipate that he'd be able to be comfortable at the new place after a few weeks? 2) how confident are you that you will continue to be satisfied at the current school? I remember vaguely some of the problems you were having there, I think. It seems to me like a year is a long time for a kid this age, and if you have a chance to get him into a really wonderful school, even if it's "just for a year", it would still be worth it. (Plus I'm biased toward the French aspect since my DSs are learning French, too!). Good luck, I know it's a tough decision!

Thanks for those thoughts, Tatermom. :) Our state has a late cutoff age for kindergarten age (October 15), so there is a lot of hesitation about starting kids in kindy when they are almost 5 - therefore, a lot of people wait the extra year. There are plenty of kids ds's age at the current school. He would be in a classroom of more-mature-3yos, 4yos, and the 5-6yo kindergarteners. The only reason I use the term kindergarten is because it's a state certified program. There may only be a few kids in the "kindergarten" program, but I think it's more a matter of the paperwork involved for the teacher to document that the students have met certain standards. Does that make sense. It's not like he'd be in a class of only 3 students.

I did have a LOT of issues earlier in the year. Since he moved upstairs, and especially since we conferenced with his new teacher, I have felt a lot more comfortable with the school. She really seems to "get" him more, even if he doesn't speak up much in school. She sees his abilities, sees his humor, sees his areas of strength and areas of need.

Ds is not the best with transitions. I think he would be "okay" but I think it would really take him a good quarter to really settle in and get comfortable. I think he has a certain amount of social anxiety, so making new friends is stressful and that would contribute to the adjustment and maybe his behavior. Then again, he'll be turning 5, so he might surprise me with his maturity.

The other school looks beautiful, though. And I do love the French program, although I kind of wonder if it would be too basic, but direct learning of specific vocabulary and grammar couldn't be bad - it's hard to impress on dh how to expand his language and vocabulary models so that ds gets rich language input. I wrote an email asking to do an observation of the class during a work cycle in the next couple of days. Maybe that will give me more insight than the cursory tour I've had.

How much time do you have to decide? Is there enough time for you DS to visit? If you can visit with him, then you can see how he feels at the diferent school?

Has the current school promised you that you DS can do K with them, and do you trust that they will stick to their word. If the current school doesn't follow all the state requirements, does that mean that your DS will have to repeat K the following year? Do you trust his current school to meet all requirements for K?

His current school has a state certified for K, so he would not need to repeat the following year. She said in February that ds is very ready for K next year, even though he's a late b-day kid. I do trust that the current school would provide him a strong program.

They really need the decision soon. Ds spent a week at the other school last summer, and he did fine. I didn't get to observe him, but he did well. They have a dropoff and pick-up at the building door policy, so when ds spent the week there last summer, I really wasn't able to find a chance to talk with the teacher or observe in the classroom. They'd probably have allowed it, but I'd have had to be pushy about it, and I wasn't feeling pushy.

I get a different sort of uncomfortable with the directors at each place. Where he is, the lady can rub people completely wrong, but I'm starting to "get" her finally. At the other place, they are very smiley and sweet...but I get the underlying sense of raw business. They don't know my ds, but the director was trying to tell me yesterday that he should most definitely not do K next year, or just do 2 years of it since he'd be on the young end. I thought that was a little presumptuous, but it's really not her say, and I'd do what I thought best for him anyway.

Those are my biggest hesitations at the moment. Also, I asked how she thought he'd do switching to a new environment after having only been in his current school for a year (wasn't a totally reasonable questions, I know). She said most kids do fine, but that if we were looking at changing schools again the following year (we most likely would), that that might be too many changes. Hmmm... On the other hand, I met the French teacher who IS French and is extremely nice. That would be a definite plus for the other school! I vacillate...