Infant Loss?

[AdronsCatherine]

I'm pretty new here - just registerd tonight, actually, but I found this forum and wondered if anyone here had lost an infant? I have had 3 early m/cs ("chemical pregnancies" :( ), but this summer I lost my 9 day old son. I'm pregnant again, and while I thought I was happy about this baby, I started to think that maybe I don't want another one. It seems that most of my problem was fear of Christmas, of all things, but now I'm finally getting excited about this little one.

Anyone experience anything like this?


TIA

[Tracy]

I really don't have anything to contribute to your question....

alas I have no experience in chemical pregnancies.... I have had a couple of miscarriages but I don't know about the other...

I really just didn't want your post to go by without a nod to your dear son Max...that was a terrible loss and I can imagine that his little spirit was around this christmas....

I will say a prayer for you, your family and dear Max and will hold good thoughts about your new little one.
hugs
tracy

[Jacque Savageau]

Catherine,

A warm and gentle welcome to Mothering. I'm so sorry about your losses. It must have been so difficult losing a child so early. I can't imagine the pain.

There have been a few mothers here that lost a child shortly after birth, so I think you'll find some kindered spirits here. I'll try to locate a few threads and bump them up for you to read.

What kind of things have you done to remember Max? I can't imagine how difficult it must have been to say goodbye to him - my heart goes out to you.

Pregnancy after loss can be filled with so many emotions. I think what you're feeling is very normal - especialy during the stress of the holiday season.

You'll notice above that we also have a sub-forum for pregnancy after loss. There you'll find a lot of women going through what you are. It's a nice forum to discuss the stress and emotions of a pregnancy following a loss.

Again, I welcome you to Mothering and hope that you find the support here that you need.

[gossamer]

Catherine,
My daughter survived for an hour, not days like your precious Max, but I too know the pain of losing a child. I am so sorry for your loss and I wish you peace and happiness with your pregnancy.
Gossamer

[Gemini]

I lost my dd who was five hours old to a birth defect. The subsequent pregnancies are very hard.

:hug to you and welcome.

[AdronsCatherine]

Thank you so much for your responses! You really know how to make a girl feel welcome :)

Tracy - thank you so much for your post, thoughts and prayers. I look at Max as this one's special guardian angel - whether that is true or not, I don't know, but it's such a sweet thought. Nice to meet you!

Ms. Mom - imagine the pain? Ack! I can't even do that, and I certainly wouldn't suggest you try :) I don't know that we've really done much to remember Max, any more than drying flowers, hanging pictures of him, and decorating his grave. I'm so thankful that we were able to bury him 2 minutes from our house, so I can visit whenever I want. Thank you so very, very much for you help!

Gossamer - I am so sorry about your daughter. I have said so many times that I am completely grateful that I got to hold Max for as long as I did - it kills me to know about mamas who either had stillbirths, m/cs, or ones that only lived a few moments. Sadly enough, I think the pain is just as bad, no matter how old your precious one is when they leave your side. I think it must be just as horrible for mothers whose children are grown, you know? Thank you for your kind words.

Gemini - is it bad that I'm somewhat relieved to hear that the sub pgs are rough? LOL - I guess I'm rather twisted, but it's nice to feel a little normal sometimes ;) Thank you.

[Jacque Savageau]

I wanted to post an older thread that I thought might be helpful.

There are a few more here, but the server is so darn slow tonight it's hard to search. I'll try to do it tomorrow morning.

~My sweet Vanessa~ (http://mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?s=&threadid=85555)

Keeping you in my thoughts.

[AdronsCatherine]

Oh thank you so very much for finding that for me! You are truly the sweetest! That story really touched me, and there is a strange comfort in knowing that I'm not "all on my own" here. Thak you, thank you, thank you!