starfairy
12-26-2003, 09:00 PM
This month has been so hard. Just this summer we were planning how we would handle the holidays with a new baby & a toddler. We had so much planned & now the holidays are here, his due date came & went with Thanksgiving & its all over...... I find myself wondering what he would have looked like had he been born term, then i feel guilty cause i did get to see him, saw how much he looked like ds & I feel guilty that I cant just appreciate that..... and when I was PG we were going to call him one name, but changed it when he died. I find myself thinking of him & in my mind he should have had the original name. I dont like the name we gave him,really. But it meant "beloved heavenly one",so it had meaning..... I am so sad..... I really wanted my baby....