potty mouth on a 4yo

[sparrow]

my 4 yo has just discovered how easily he can get a reaction from adults by using 'poop' and 'poopy' as the majority of the words coming out of his mouth. when i am in a good space, i realize it is just a stage, and that reacting is just feding the behavior.... but, of course, i am NOT always in a good space. i haven't lost it on him yet, but it gets rather tiresome & sometimes it is very hard to tune out.

mostly, when i have had enough, i tell him that i don;t care to hear it anymore, and that if he wants to continue using those words, he will have yo do it in his private space.

papa gets annoyed by it quicker, and will snap at times. we do count him, (non-emotively, if possible), with a time-out a the consequence on 3. i know that that is a contentious subject around here, but it has been working for us for a lot of behaviors that were intolerable before (both ds' and my over-reactions to them, lol!). See, we have recently shifted from a 'mostly SAHM, unschooling, lots of community around us' lifestyle to a 'both parents work & ds goes to daycare 5 days' lifestyle. i hate it, but i cannot change it at this time. we have been in this new lifestle for 4 months now, so we are acclimating, but i am still having a very hard time acclimating to how little time i have with ds, and therefore less influence as well as less patience since i am working & getting little time for myself. My old theories of non-coercive parenting ha ve just flown out the window.

anyway, i kinda got off the subject a bit, but i am looking for insights into the poopy stage. how long will it last, do ya think? what tactics have other people used to keep their sanity while junior is yelling poopy head, etc, etc while visiting friends, trying to shop.......

i look forward to your feedback.

[brookely ash]

My 4 yo DS is in this stage also. He started this after first going to preschool this year. I beleive this is a learned behavior that he aquired from other kids.

[USAmma]

I just finished How To Behave So Your Preschooler Will Too and it has a whole section on the poopy word. Unfortunately I can't remember what that section said since my dd isn't doing that. But apparently it's a pretty common problem. I got the book at the library, maybe it's at your library too.

Darshani

[sparrow]

thanks for the replies :) i will try getting that book out of my library.

yesterday i just counted him for it, but i really dislike using counting for something that is so, well, trivial, in a sense.

i like the idea of the responsibility chart too. i am not sure that i am organized enought to follow through with something of that nature for more than 2 weeks, lol.

[sparklemom]

I say explain to him that that word offends people. So he can say it around you and your dh, but not to use it in front of other people.

This works perfectly with my dds who are 4 1/2 yrs and 3 yrs. They know that they can say anything to me, but that some words are offensive to other people.

Turning this into a big issue, or even a small one, will only make this "phase" last longer. It doesn't have to be that way. If your dh gets annoyed by your ds saying this then the good news is he is an adult and can exersize patience and understanding so that this doesn't turn into a big deal.

[mamaduck]

Basically what Sparklemom said -- it probably won't help to "ban" certain words/ language entirely. What I would do is lay out guidelines for where and when he can use that language. For instance, "Its okay to use poopy talk when we are being goofy and playing in your room together. Its not okay to use poopy talk at the dinner table when Papa has just gotten home from work." Or, whatever boundries you feel comfortable with, KWIM?

And yep -- very normal stage.

[sparrow]

thanks :) i think he can understand the idea of differing situations. i will try it out with him & see how it goes.