Is it too early?

[stanleymama]

We won't be able to adopt for about 5 more years as dh will be going to law school, but I can't stop myself from researching about adoption now. Is it too early? I have already fell hard for 2 little boys(brothers) and there is nothing I can do. The agency said we don't make enough--it has been disappointing and heartbreaking for me. So should I maybe stop just so I don't keep getting disappointed?

[milk4two]

Knowing ahead of time that you want to adopt means you'll have plenty of time to research agencies, countries, and adoption in general. We fell in love with our Samoan boys from a photolisting, but I think looking at the listings is tough. Too many kids pull at your heartstrings.

[EFmom]

I don't think there's anything wrong with researching--I did for about three years before we actually started the process. There are a lot of issues surrounding adoption and becoming an adoptive family, and it doesn't hurt to read up on them. You can subscribe to magazines, read research, order books through interlibrary loan, etc. and enjoy having the leisure to be thorough.

You just need to make sure that you can stay flexible. Adoption programs change. You don't say in your post what kind of adoption you are thinking of doing. If it is international, you need to keep in mind that programs and requirements change frequently, and some countries will close or reopen to adoption, so you can't get your heart too firmly committed to a particular program. The US will be implementing the Hague regulations and things will most definitely change in the next five years.

[stanleymama]

We are interested in adopting internationally. What are the Hague regulations btw?

Ok--so I won't stop researching, just stay away from the photo listings. What are some good mag. to check out or books that would help prepare/educate about adoption?

[EFmom]

The Hague Treaty is an agreement in theory designed to prevent abuses in adoption by regulating the process. The US has signed the treaty but has not yet implemented it. While the goal is admirable, I am not a fan of the implementation plan. The net result will be many additional layers of red tape and expense, as if we don't have enough of these two already with IA.

You can do a google search on Hague regulations and adoption and find lots of info about it.

Adoptive Families or Adoption Today are good magazines to begin with, although I find that over time there is too much repetition with both to justify a continued subscription. Big book stores will have at least one.

One great way to spend the time you have would be investigating the culture of the area you plan to adopt from. You might want to take language classes, for example. You could also read up on issues related to transracial parenting, if that's applicable. Rita James Simon is my favorite researcher.