sunbaby
12-30-2003, 07:23 PM
ok, now y'all are gonna think i am a freak after reading this, and you are probably right. :nut ;) i hope this is not too creepy.
i am sort of waiting to miscarry, because of a blighted ovum i found out about on sunday. i would have been 11 weeks preg now. well this whole pregnancy i have been totally preoccupied with my x boyfriend who died in january. it just seemed as if hed been visiting more than normal lately, and being very close to baby. sometimes i even felt like the baby was HIM :eek .
and then, in addition to that, one night two weeks ago, i got up to pee (and i had not been asleep yet) and i saw someone standing in the hall. i lost it. i screamed the most awful scream you ever heard. i competely lost my mind. dh lunged at the area from which i was retreating, thinking he was going th defend his family, and there was nothing there but a robe hanging where it always hangs. i was more scared than i have ever been, and ashamed that i scared my family so badly to boot.
so what was previously a pretty interesting and pleasant connection with the dead, that i attributed to my baby still floating around in the spirit world himself, turned all creepy. not that i think i saw a ghost, i think i saw something from my head, but that image made any thought of dead people very uncomfortable for me.
and then, the day after christmas, when all my pregnancy symtoms vanished, i knew i was miscarrying my baby. and it all made sense. songram showed that my baby had died 5 weeks ago. i kinda wonder if maybe this baby wasnt a visit from my old boyfriend, who i still really care about, and who i know also loves me, and always said he wished he could be my kid. but i do know for sure why i felt so connected to the dead during this time.
has anyone else felt this type of thing? and anyone else ever been in this position of waiting to miscarry? it is so wierd waiting for it to start, but still carrying this beginning of a baby around inside.
i am sort of waiting to miscarry, because of a blighted ovum i found out about on sunday. i would have been 11 weeks preg now. well this whole pregnancy i have been totally preoccupied with my x boyfriend who died in january. it just seemed as if hed been visiting more than normal lately, and being very close to baby. sometimes i even felt like the baby was HIM :eek .
and then, in addition to that, one night two weeks ago, i got up to pee (and i had not been asleep yet) and i saw someone standing in the hall. i lost it. i screamed the most awful scream you ever heard. i competely lost my mind. dh lunged at the area from which i was retreating, thinking he was going th defend his family, and there was nothing there but a robe hanging where it always hangs. i was more scared than i have ever been, and ashamed that i scared my family so badly to boot.
so what was previously a pretty interesting and pleasant connection with the dead, that i attributed to my baby still floating around in the spirit world himself, turned all creepy. not that i think i saw a ghost, i think i saw something from my head, but that image made any thought of dead people very uncomfortable for me.
and then, the day after christmas, when all my pregnancy symtoms vanished, i knew i was miscarrying my baby. and it all made sense. songram showed that my baby had died 5 weeks ago. i kinda wonder if maybe this baby wasnt a visit from my old boyfriend, who i still really care about, and who i know also loves me, and always said he wished he could be my kid. but i do know for sure why i felt so connected to the dead during this time.
has anyone else felt this type of thing? and anyone else ever been in this position of waiting to miscarry? it is so wierd waiting for it to start, but still carrying this beginning of a baby around inside.