so will you (or did you) wait 3months to ttc

[sunbaby]

my midwife has advised that it is best to wait three months before ttc again, because there may be an increased chance of miscarriage after one already. but i dont think we will wait. i cant stand the idea of waiting. three months sounds so long. i would have to find some kind of extra thing to do to keep my mind busy, since i really need something in addition to taking care of dd and the house to feel whole and content. but what i really want ot be doing right now is building a baby. i want dd to have a sibling before she is much older. i want a baby so badly. i cant even go near new babies anymore without crying.

so anyone know how much the odds of miscarriage are increased by trying right away? did you wait?

[mammabean]

Hi,
I am so sorry for your loss. It is a hard time to go through and yes I know how long 3 months seems! Like forever!
My midwife also told me 3 months, at first, I guess because it is the norm. But I went in for a check-up/pelvic 1 month after losing my baby and she gave me the go ahead to start trying whenever I was ready. I asked her was she sure I didn't have to wait 2 more months and she said I was a healthy woman who had had an uncomplicated m/c so she thought it was just fine to start trying again. I was so excited!
I had already had 1 annovulatory cycle (10days) since the m/c. I think I would recommend waiting one cycle, to give your body a chance to really start "fresh". I did notice that my first period after the m/c had a lot more blood clots than normal, and I was glad I was able to let me body flush "clean".
Unfortunately during my next cycle after that I tried hard core to get pg but no luck. :(
I am in my 3rd cycle (since m/c) now and on about cd 20 (no O yet). I have really long cycles so it is such a disappointment to not be pg since I know I will have to wait SO LONG to ovulate again. So it will be 3 months for me Jan.1. I didn't really choose to wait, but I guess my body chose for me. I think your body will know when it is ready.

The best thing for you to do, only you will know. You follow your own intuition.

I wish you patience and healing. We are all here for you.

[momto l&a]

My second pregancy ended in a mc at 12 weeks. My mw said it was fine to go ahead and get preggo after my first period. Her reasons being, I was healthy, my first pregancy had no complications, it was my first mc. She would have had me wait if I had a history of mc, or any other pregancy complications.

Looking back on getting preggo so soon after the mc it was very hard on my body (try 12 weeks of pregnacy that ended in mc add to that the normal 40 weeks of pregancy and add 2 more weeks for my 2nd being late:rolleyes: all the while bfing a very attached to the boobies dd = one very tired worn out body) but mentaly I NEEDED to be preggo.

I mc July 11 and was preggo by the middle of August.

All of this to say do what you think is best for your situation.
I am so sorry to hear of your recent loss :hug

[SamuraiEarthMama]

i have a friend who did nearly the same thing as momto l&a, and she also said that it was very hard on her body to be pregnant for a year. she dealt with it OK, but she did say she wished she had waited for a month or two first.

you'll have to listen to your own body and heart. remember, you are going through all the hormone and physical changes of pregnant to not pregnant, and those are nothing to sneeze at. your body is doing a LOT of work right now!

keep taking your pregnancy vitamins no matter what... that will help you get things back in line. think about why you want to be pregnant, and what would be best for both you and your new baby... you want to be in as good a shape as possible to carry your new one, right?

so... three months might be a bit overkill. but trying to catch before your first AF might take a bigger toll than your resources can manage. really, only you can make that call.

good luck!

[dancingwolf]

So very sorry! This was a very challenging journey for me, I lost my baby in the 11th week. My mc was natural, however I continued to bleed heavily and cramp for 60 days. Turns our some of the placenta was still with me and I needed a D&C. Then of course I bled for another week. My dh and I were soooo anxious to get preg and we were told 2 mo, 3 mo and one cycle. I asked for an ultra-sound a week after the D&C to make sure everything was back to normal and I was about to ovulate. At that time she told me I was perfectly healthy and if I had a "normal" cycle I could try after that. It seems there are as many answers as there are people answering. We went ahead and tried. I ovulated 3 days ago. Hope were pregnant. I hope you are soon too.

[Mom2baldie]

I did wait 3 months to ttc because I had also heard about an increased risk of miscarriage if you dont, and I didnt want to take the chance. Its been 4.5 months since my miscarriage and I just found out today that I am pregnant again. I am already thinking about what I will do if it happens again. I wont be able to handle it.

[shannon0218]

I think we're going to wait. We just lost another this past wednesday. Had a d&c which went well with no complications. My bleeding actually stopped by morning and the cramping is only mild. the OB plans to run some tests when I see her again to figure out why this is happening. We've had one at 6 weeks, one at 9 weeks and a chemical preg. All this in 6mos. I just can't take it anymore. We have decided to wait at least 3 mos, and likely 4 to try again. Maybe my body just needs a break from being pregnant.:(

[sunbaby]

oh no, sannon. i am sorry. that sounds so difficult.

[Graceoc]

My second pgcy ended in a m/c at 10 weeks.....in fact like momto l&a I m/c on July 11 BUT was pg again with dd by the first weekend in August - BEFORE I even resumed my cycles. For me it was a real shock - but a very nice suprise. We were not 'trying' to get pg, in fact I had not shown any fertile sign (and I normally have lots of ewcm when I am fertil) For some reason I believe it was just ment to be....and had no worries during my pgcy at all. I wish you peace with your decision whatever it may be. FWIW I m/c naturally at home with no complications.....

[Abylite]

I'm so sorry about your losses.

After my first m/c we waited just about 3 months. All was fine until another m/c at 13 weeks in May. I know I was so wiped out and tired. I couldn't have TTC even if I wanted to ....more emotionally wiped out. We tried last Sept/Oct but it didn't feel right...felt like work and couldn't take another BFN.

We are just now TTC again and now I know I am ready. I feel stronger physically and emotionally.

It really sucks to go through this..!!! I'm here if you need to talk!

[OakEmber]

The midwife I had when I m/c advised waiting two full cycles (so putting you into your third month), although she said it didn't necessarily mean that anything would go wrong otherwise. I didn't know if I'd even feel ready before that but after my first AF I was ready. I called my midwife to get her blessing (because I wanted her to take me as a client again, LOL) and she said that how I was feeling was the best indication on whether or not I was ready. Didn't get pregnant until the next cycle anyway though, so I was right in the third month, LOL. I think it will happen if your body is ready for it.

Amie Mommy to Ember(3) m/c Nov.03 and EDD Oct.15/04

[shannon0218]

Well, we're jumping in again this cycle! I'm in a good place about it right now, it feels right. I've had 2 normal periods since the last m/c.
After much reading and a wonderful OB who spent tons of time with us the plan is, I'm on baby aspirin now, progesterone supp will begin after O, then heparin injections twice daily as soonas we confirm a positive preg test.
I just hope so badly this next one sticks, I just really don't know if we can go through another.
Wish me luck!

[SweetTeach]

GOOD LUCK!

[sunbaby]

yes, shannon, i wish you luck. wish me luck, too, because i am also going to begin ttc this cycle. i hope we can be pregnant together.
i cant beleive i actually waited 3 cycles since i had to have a d and c, i think the wiating just about killed me, but we needed to wait in order for a baby to be born at a workable time for us anyway.

[shannon0218]

Thanks Sunbaby!! and good luck to you too!! We actually only waited the 2 cycles but for the same reason--workable due date. DH is taking paternity leave as I own my own business--most of which I do from home. But I wanted to deliver in my slow season as regardless of dh's help I won't be able to take much work for the time period before and right after.
You should join us on the TTC thread, we have alot of fun over there!!

[Bunches]

Shannon - its so good to hear you are ready again and have a plan with a doctor. I am happy for you. I sincerely wish you the best of luck and send lots of baby dust!!
Its too early for me to start thinking about getting pregnant again but since I've successfully weaned myself off of coffee and have been taking really good care of myself otherwise, I think I will continue on that path. I was really taking good care of myself in all areas (diet, exercise, massage, vitamins, etc...) and I felt really good about it. I see a midwife on Wednesday and we will talk about everything then. I think I am actually emotionally numb today after 2 days of crying and also, physically still experiencing the miscarriage. The symptoms are subsiding a bit though.

[Bunches]

oops!! double posted! sorry!

[sunbaby]

so sorry, bunches.

shannon,i actually am following you guys over at ttc, just lurking so far as the main threads move so so fast, by the time i've read all the posts, i am too exhausted to post myself. i am sure i will jump in soon. also, i kind of was going to post over there tonight, but it does seem like an awful lot of miscarriages are happening already, and i dont want to be another one to add to their anxiety over there. i just remember how freaked out i was my whole first pregnancy, worried about miscarriage- i dont want to add to the worry for those ladies who'll be getting pregnant their first time around- protect their innocence, i guess. i know this last pregnancy, the one i lost, i was so confident and unconcerned. then, whammo. but really worrying doesnt help, does it?

[shannon0218]

You know, I don't see it as a problem. We have had a really unusual number return dt m/c, but I hung out even while waiting to be ready to go again, there is something about everyone's passion to keep trying and the commoraderie (sp?) that is inspiring. Many have been through it before, many haven't, but everyone is pretty sensitive. I went back there very soon after my m/c and was definitely welcomed with open arms.

[Lucysmama]

I didn't wait. I m/c on December 24th and was pregnant again January 20th...so less than a month. I didn't have a period in between. I caught that first eggie accidentally. We were "taking the month off" and ....oops. :) It had taken us a year to get pregnant, so I didn't think it would happen by accident.

I am now in my 15th week, and all is well!!! :thumb

[sushigrrl]

Mostly they want you to wait, so they can reliably track due date. There is a slightly higher chance of miscarriage if you conceive before you even have another cycle, but only slightly higher.

[HRC121799]

My first (missed)m/c was in the 11th week. We waited about 1.5 cycles before trying again and got pg. on the first try, then I had another (missed)m/c in the 9th week. Then we waited 4 months before trying again. We were scared, plus I was trying to get myself r mentally ready in case we lost another, not that you can prepare for that, but I needed to wait until I thought I could handle it. The result of that is now almost 10mos. old. Good luck to all of you ttc again. {{{{hugs}}}}

[Devaskyla]

After my first miscarriage, we were very careful for about 5 months. Then we were not so careful and I got pregnant. We were happy about it, though. Then I had another miscarriage. I really wanted to be pregnant again right away. I don't know if I had a period or not between, because I bled for 17 days, stopped for a week and then bled for another week. My cycle is usually 32 days, so that was very early for a period, but I think it must have been because I conceived 21 days after the second bit of bleeding. So, we're very cautiously expecting again one cycle after a miscarriage. Just got past the point I lost the twins. I've never heard of miscarriage being more likely immediately after. I have heard that you're usually more fertile immediately following a miscarriage, though.

[SomedayMom]

We didn't wait at all. My OB only advised waiting until we were emotionally ready, but she felt that there was no physical reason to wait. She told me 3 months was just a standard answer. It took us 4 cycles, but that was faster than it happened the first time...

[Ivarson]

My OB said waiting three months compared to just one month doesn't decrease the chances of another m/c. She said wait for one period and then try again. She said many women don't even wait and get pregnant and all is fine. So I would say waiting one cycle is just fine.