Friend has PCOS, fertility issues--how to support her?

[captain optimism]

I have a good friend who wants to have a baby. She has PCOS. She did a lot of work to get her type 2 diabetes under control with exercise and a helpful doctor. Nevertheless, she is still not pregnant. I am sad, I think she would be a kick-ass mom.

Do you have any advice for me about how to be supportive? Also, do you have wonderful links/ book recommendations that have helped you, either with getting pregnant or with the feelings around infertility? Thanks.

[pumpkin]

I happen to have PCOS and we are still TTC our first. I discovered Mothering through a wierd string of occurrences but it really helps me to see parent's discussing positive parenting. It makes me feel like I'm doing something constructive, learning about being a good mother in this time while I wait to become one. That leads me to my point here. Some of us who are dealing with infertility like to talk about babies, our TTC process, etc. Its cathartic - and makes me feel involved in an important part of life that I'm having to wait to fully embrace. Other women in this position feel very differently. Talking about infertility, babies, pregnancy, even seeing a pregnant woman on the street can be painful. You need to find out how your friend feels. Then try to follow whichever path she needs.

There is a website, www.soulcysters.net that hosts a discussion board related to PCOS.

One of the most difficult things in dealing with PCOS is that many people in the medical community are simply uninformed about the disease. I could write pages and pages on this subject, but I will just leave you with this advice. Your friend may encounter ignorance or just plain hostility from some medical practioners. In those moments, it will help to remind her that there are good doctors out there, who will treat PCOS both from a general health perspective and as it relates to fertility, it just takes time to find them.

[captain optimism]

I passed on the URL for the soulcysters board with a note: "If you are into this sort of thing."

Thanks, it's helpful to know what you found helpful.

[gonnabeamom]

Letting her know you think she would be a kick ass Mom and that you are sad for her is a great place to start.

Letting her know that she can talk to you about it at anytime, but that you don't expect a report is also great.

I loved Inconceivable by Julia Indichova, which is not PCOS related, but is an account of one women's journey through the whole mess of infertility treatments, and it is hopeful without being sappy.

She has a website called fertileheart.com