Help! I have a terrible sleeper!

[Mary]

I'm feeling really desperate and could use some advice on what to do about my 5 month old. Let me start by saying I coslept with my first son and have been through the ups and downs of it. He nightnursed until he was about 2. We would go through some rough nights every several months, but no big deal, we got through it. It was definitely a good thing and I loved sleeping with him.

Fastforward to this little one: He is somewhat of a fussy little baby. I swear he did not sleep for the first 24 hours of his life! He has been fidgety and fussy since day one. I know he is uncomfortable, I've cut dairy out of my diet and am working on other foods, but I can't pinpoint what else might be bothering him.

His first six weeks is a blur. He slept terribly and usually around 4 am I would start to freak out (because my toddler would be waking at 6:30) so I would swaddle him, give him a paci, and put him in the swing. This is not something that I would have ever dreamed I wouldf do, but I was desperate.

He slept good for a couple of nights when he was six weeks old, then during the week of Christmas he slept good for 3 nights. That's it! The rest of his life he has been a terrible sleeper. So I know it isn't just a phase. By sleeping good I mean waking to nurse and going right back down a few times per night.

As it is I can't sleep with my husband and ds#1. The crying is too much. A typical night involves him sleeping for maybe 3 good hours followed by an hour of crying, 30 minutes of sleeping, 45 minutes of crying, 30 min. of sleeping, 45 crying, etc...I don't know exact times because I don't keep a clock in the room we sleep in for fear of it making me unable to sleep but he cries A LOT.

I try everything to get him back to sleep, nursing, paci, holding him, leaving him alone, nothing helps. It's like he's crying it out, only I'm right there. Then by the time he's settled asleep I have to change positions because my body is aching from being in one position and he wakes and we start all over. When he's crying usually his eyes are closed too.

Can anyone give me some encouraging words?

[Ravin]

It won't last forever! :hug

have you tried slinging him and walking?

[perditafoster]

Oh, mama, here's a huge hug :grouphug I feel your pain. Speaking of pain, could your ds have reflux? My dd did, and it made her sleep horribly, similar to your son. Maybe you could ask your ped...also, I second the above post about slinging. I can only imagine how difficult it is to deal with a fussy baby and a toddler, but maybe a sling would make your life much easier. Just stick your ds in there in the morning, nurse him, change him periodically, and wear him all day! I used to wear dd all the time...when she would sleep I could lie down and sleep, too, she just laid in the sling and snored away. Now that she's bigger, I still wear her at least once a day, just not as long. In fact, yesterday I got her to fall asleep for a much-needed nap by putting her in the sling. A life saver for me. Hang in there and keep us posted...I hope things get better really quickly!

[RAF]

Hello Mary:wave

I am Rebekah from the eastern WA thread. I just wanted to reply because my first daughter Sierra, now almost 4, had really severe colic for her first year. It was really bad for dh and I, and I was an emotional and physical wreck for a long time. She would scream and arch and nothing would console her. She had trouble falling asleep because she was screaming so much, and of course she would wake up screaming and nursing didn't really help. She puked alot, projectile when she was a newborn. We took her to the doctors many times during the first few months. We even tried the relux medication, but it did not help. Anyway.... I don't know if this sounds at all like your ds. Also the only thing that would keep her from screaming some of the time was slinging her and dancing around. We would also give her a pinky finger to suck on when she was still fairly little.
Now onto the good news. I finallly figured out what the problem was. It turns out she had a casein/gluten sensitivity. It was even minute amounts of casein (milk protein) would make her react. Gluten is the same way. It is in wheat, rye, barley, and oats and many, many, many people are sensitive to it. It takes about nine months for gluten to completely leave the system, so folks recommend being on a strict gluten free diet, including the mom, because of the breast milk for at least nine months. Anyway, it worked really great for us, and it turns out that I was sensitive to those things too and had some health improvements. We no longer eat gluten containing foods, which means homemade everything, but we like it this way. Anyway, there are some good websites that talk about this diet and what to eat/what not to eat etc. if you are interested.
OH and soy is also a big problem for Many, many people. We eat a meat (from pasture fed, healthy animals) and veggie diet with only fresh, raw dairy products from healthy animals. It is now very noticeable when we accidentally consume the offending foods. Before we were so miserable most of teh time, that we just didn't notice that certain foods made us feel yucky or made Sierra fussy. Anyway, this is getting kind of long. :)
So, If you are interested, I could send you some links or even talk to you in person about it, since we live near each other. :) Anyway, whatever the problem is, don't give up on figuring it out. They *always* fuss for a reason. They just can't communicate it as well as we'd like. It sounds though like you guys are doing a really great parenting job despite all of your stress and difficulties. If you have any questions or need to talk, feel free to email me. :)

[Mary]

Thanks everyone. Christopher has lived in the sling when I'm moving around. It has been a life saver!! We do not leave the house without it. I must be moving though- that's why I don't make it to the computer too often!

Rebekah- I wanted to ask you about your family's food allergies, but haven't had the chance. It is all so very interesting, but I will admit- I would be in a heap of trouble if I had to give up wheat! I don't know how you do it! I've had the hardest time with dairy as it is. I'm totally weak when it comes to food and all my good sense flies out the window when I get hungry. It's really pathetic. I'd love to talk more about it though.

What I'm relearning is how to surrender to motherhood once again. This little guy is teaching me many new lessons. I took the beginner course with my first, and little Christopher is the advanced course! The night before last he slept decent- nursing in the night and peacefully drifting off. What did I do different? Nothing that I can think of. Last night he was up at 3:30 happily chatting up a storm. I'll take that over crying anyday.