Adoption "pros" -- IA Adoption book?

[Momma Aimee]

Great news. My little sister and her hubby are going to offically start to look at IA. They have two boys; but the older one has POH, and that is gentic. So they are turning to adoption. I am excited; it is something I too want to do.

Now the nuts and bolts....we know it is a great ideal....HOW TO DO IT BECOMES THE ISSUE.

They are leaning towards IA but aren't sure. And we have no clue how to get started with IA either. I know some adgencies how question nights; it that really for general uqestions, or jsut to seel their own services?

Any book suggestions?

Aimee

[EFmom]

Aimee, are they leaning toward a particular country yet? Most of the good books I'm aware of are country-specific, and IA is quite different depending on the country you pick.

Different countries have different requirements in terms of things like age of PAPs, religion, income, sexual orientation, marital status, # prior marriages, length of marriage, presence of other children in the family, arrest record, health, and even weight. Most people find that this significantly limits the countries they are eligible for. Some countries require travel (varying from a few days to a few months stay in-country which can be a problem if you have kids already) and some do not.

Another thing to think about is your sister and BILs affinity for a particular culture. They will need to instill a respect for and appreciation of their child's birth culture. That can be a lot of work and a lot of fun. Research with adult IA kids has shown this to be very necessary to their sense of self-worth. We are two Caucasians who have adopted from China, and we consider that we have become a Chinese-American family, just as people in a mixed marriage are. If they view a country very negatively, I'd think hard about adopting from there.

Books in general aren't the best source of info about IA. Things change too much, so that by the time a book is published, it's out of date.

They might start buying Adoptive Families or Adoption Today, both of which are available at places like Borders. These are general adoption magazines which will have articles and ads of interest.

When I was researching, I found the Report on Intercountry Adoption, from International Concerns for Children, to be the single most useful piece of information. Unfortunately, I see from their website that this report is in a state of transition, but if you go to http://www.iccadopt.org/ you can see who to contact for more info about the report. The fee for it is nominal.

What is so useful about this report is that it lists hundreds of adoption agencies and their programs, and requirements, all in one place.

When they have countries narrowed, the net is the best source of info. There are e-mail lists for just about every country and while sometimes they overwhelm you with info, I found them invaluable. If you know the countries of interest, I can get you info on these lists.

Re the agency meetings, most agencies have informational meetings and they are a good place to get basic information. But sometimes agencies try to pass their own requirements off as a country's, and some of these meetings have a sales pitch element to them. They should absolutely resist signing with an agency unless they have researched them very thoroughly, because while most are ethical, there are also some stinkers out there.

Sorry, this was probably way TMI. I get started and I can't stop!