Students Mamas-Taking Baby to Class?

[UmmIlyas]

Howdy to all the Student Mamas...

I'm returning to school for the spring semester. My Ilyas is now 4 months old. Here's my question:

Have any of you taken your baby to class? How old was your baby? How did you ask your professors? How did the whole 'baby-in-class' thing go?

I'd really like to take Eli to class with me -I'm not looking forward to spending so much time away from him. But I'm not quite sure how to approach the subject with my profs.

Any pointers would be much appreciated!

Cheers

[maekati]

My Elias is 4 months old and I plan on taking him to class with me some. I only have one class on campus the rest are online classes. I have taken him with me to all my orientation classes so far and have got good response from everyone on campus. I plan on just taking him to my first class tomorrow, fast asleep in the sling since it will be his nap time and explain that I do not have child care for him and I would be grateful if I could bring him to class some with me. Who could deny a beautfully sound asleep baby to class?

[UmmIlyas]

Our babies have the same name! (Ilyas is the arabic version of Elias) How cool....

The sleeping part doesn't worry me as much as the waking part...Ilyas is such a talker!

I'm still contemplating asking my profs if I can take Ilyas with me.

Keep me posted on how the 'baby-in-class' arrangement goes!

Cheers

[Potty Diva]

It is against the policy of the college I attend to have children with you in class, and I think for very good reason. It prevents disdurbances(I know I would be absorbed by a baby's cuteness), and also lets the parent focus solely on their education and not be distracted by the childs needs.

I think I would be really upset if someone brought their child to class and interupted my learning time.

Mark and I also took Kailey with us to registration and orientation and the faculty fell in love with her. Class however, is another story. While going over most of my classes syllabus, they made a point of saying no children in class.

This could however differ with each college.

But, unless all the students in your class have consented, I would not take your baby.

Just my opinion :)

[UmmIlyas]

Thanks for your input! I've heard both pros and cons to taking a baby to class, and can see the validity of both sides.

I know when my mom was in grad school another student took her baby to every class (they joked about giving him an honorary degree). So i guess in that situation everyone agreed with having the baby in class.

On the other hand, I know if I'm paying a LOAD if money for a class, and can't concentrate cuz of a baby, I might be a bit irritated!

So that's why I'm not sure what to do. Here's what I've come up with so far: with one of my classes I think I'll talk to my classmates and my prof to see if the baby wouldn't be a problem. I'm in grad school so the classes tend to be somewhat smaller, so it will be easier to discuss this with everyone.

But I'm still undecided if I'm actually going to ask or not.

So any more advice, opinions, or stories of experience
would be greatly appreciated!

Cheers

[Glittergal]

I had to go back to classes at 3 wks postpartum and didn't even consider not bringing dd with me. I didn't ask, just brought her in a sling and most people fell in love with her immediately. I'm in graduate school too, midwifery, so that probably makes for a more accepting environment. But I found it to be very easy - she usually slept but I never found it to be cumbersome to get up in the room and sway with her either, even in my very small classes. If she got to be too cranky, we just left. I also found that people were so helpful! Always offering to carry something for me, hold her while I went to the bathroom, etc. I didn't have anyone else who could watch her so I even managed to get my tests scheduled so it was just me and her, so as not to disturb the other classmates. Now she's 3 months and we're done with classes and I've noticed she is significantly more talkative; I'm not sure if she'd be too loud now. I saw try it, you can always leave class. And don't be afraid to ask for help! Good luck.

[maekati]

Well, it snowed here on Friday, the day I was going to take Elias to class with me, and classes were cancelled. I found someone to watch him, but I may still have the chance to take him to class with me later. I did take my daughter to class with me when she was small, like from just a few weeks old. I put her in a sling and many times people had no idea that there was a baby in class with them. It was a small community college and everyone there was very supportive. I sat near the door so I could leave before she disturbed anyone. Good luck with your classes and kisses to your Ilyas.

[Greaseball]

I had one teacher say I could take dd to class when she was 5 months, but then after a few minutes she asked us to leave. :confused: I don't know what she was expecting.

If your school does not allow parents to take their children to class, they need to provide other alternatives if they are to claim they do not discriminate against parents. They could provide affordable childcare for all ages, or more evening, weekend and online classes. If you are having a hard time attending school due to parenting issues and your school will not help you in any way, your Title IX rights as a parenting student are not being upheld. If you are not able to attend class at all, talk to someone in the legal aid or student advocate office.

Very often, for student moms, having the baby in class with us is the only way we are able to get an education. It's not some cute trick we do to annoy people.

I wouldn't take mine to class though, because she's loud and doesn't like to sit still (AKA a normal child).

I went to classes with my mom when I was 7. I remember it was boring, though, so it's probably not ideal for an older child.

[UmmIlyas]

Wow, thanks for all the info, mommies! Yall give me a lot to think about...

I didn't know about the Title IX. I'll look into it. My University has childcare, but there is a year-long waiting list. As for affordable, I suppose compared to other areas in the country it is (between 5-600$ for full time), but it is the most expensive daycare in town.

Right now I think I have the situation worked out. A SAHM from our mosque watches Ilyas while I'm in class. Hopefully that'll work out!

(Ilyas gives a big :wave to Elias!)

Cheers

[Greaseball]

As for affordable, I suppose compared to other areas in the country it is (between 5-600$ for full time), but it is the most expensive daycare in town.

Some universities offer additional student loans that are meant to pay for childcare on campus.

[petit_bleuet]

I started my graduate work when my son was 8 months old and never considered taking him to class with me. Well, he was mobile at that point for starters but even if he hadn't been I think that it's completely inappropriate. The baby will pose a distraction to the other students, even if it's with something pleasant like cuteness, and it's not fair to take away from their learning opportunities.

I scheduled my classes for evenings and weekends when DH could watch DS. When schedule gaps arose last summer, we had a babysitter watch DS in our home. The sitter was (and still is) funded with student loans that I took out for expressly that purpose.

I can completely understand a baby being welcome in a midwifery program but if classmate in my library and information sciences program brought their child to class I would be inclined to complain to both the parent and the professor. Sorry, infants don't belong in college classrooms, imo.

[phathui5]

I had a professor who let me take ds to class with me when he was sick because he didn't want to be with anyone else when he wasn't feeling well. She was my psych professor though, and a little hokey.

[UmmIlyas]

Wow, it's really interesting reading everyone's opinions. I have a sitter that Ilyas stays with during class. I wish I could pay her using student loans, but as a muslim I can't take out loans (becouse of the interest ). So I pay her out of pocket from my assistantship. I also wish I could schedule evening or weekend classes, but those are few and far between in my program.

It seems like whether or not a child is welcome in class depends on the program. I bet Ilyas would be less of a nuisance in my small, informal Ed classes than my husbands Genetics classes!

[Potty Diva]

Originally posted by Greaseball


If your school does not allow parents to take their children to class, they need to provide other alternatives if they are to claim they do not discriminate against parents. They could provide affordable childcare for all ages, or more evening, weekend and online classes. If you are having a hard time attending school due to parenting issues and your school will not help you in any way, your Title IX rights as a parenting student are not being upheld. If you are not able to attend class at all, talk to someone in the legal aid or student advocate office.

Very often, for student moms, having the baby in class with us is the only way we are able to get an education. It's not some cute trick we do to annoy people.



If your college has a childcare on campus it has filled any requirement needed to obey the law. Campus childcare however is in HIGH demand and it is only those parents who are quick on their feet that get in the door. This isn't the college's fault, and not really a parents fault either, but you cannot expect to be able to take your child into a classroom of students who have all paid tuition to have a distraction free (or at least only a minimally distracting) class.

Parents have a right to education, but not when it interfere with the education of the rest of the class, and for me it would.

[petit_bleuet]

Potty Diva, well said.

UmmIlyas, I also have an assistantship but mine only pays tuition. I'd really prefer not to have had to take out the loans but it was the only way I could get it all to work, sadly. :P

I don't know if this will be too OT or if it's appropriate to ask but I didn't realize it's against your beliefs to take out loans with interest on them. Does that mean you're not able to take out a home loan or anything? :scratch

[UmmIlyas]

Hi Petit Bleuet!

Without going into an incredible amount of detail (I don't want this thread moved to spirituality :p ) here's the short answer:
Any loan that has interest (ribaa) is haraam (rough translation = not allowed). That includes house, car, school, etc. There are, of course, alot of nuances to the prohibition. Here are some websites that go in depth on the topic.

In brief, interest and usury are forms of the riba that is strictly prohibited in Islam and all Muslim scholars agree on this point. We suggest you visit Islamicity's economic center (www.islam.org), or the Islamic Development Bank's Site (www.idba.org), or Lariba's site (www.americanfinance.com) or Dr. Yusuf Qaradawi's site (www.qaradawi.net) for further informtaion.

Thanks for asking! When it comes to religion, I rarely feel a question is inappropriate. Always feel free to ask me questions! :D

Cheers

[tessamami]

I did take my DD to class twice. I avoided it of course, but there were a couple of times when my DH, a SAHD just couldn't watch her. I asked my Prof., and my graduate class was very cool about it. I was lucky DD was in a quiet mood, but I was of course ready to leave. It helped that my class approved, and that my Prof was a parent.

It didn't work out for everyone in my class, though. There was another Prof who did not appreciate it - and this woman's child was very disruptive. It wasn't anyone's fault.

My suggestion? Avoid it if you can, but if you have to, then I hope it works out for you. It CAN work.

[Greaseball]

I think the whole problem could be avoided if classes were offered at evening and weekend times. (At least this would help the married parents, or others who could find an easier time arranging childcare outside of regular business hours.)

If childcare is not affordable, it might as well not be there. Most students I know IRL cannot pay the daycare fees.

[Elynor's Mom]

I had a classmate who brought her baby to class when I was working on my grad degree. I have to admit that it was distracting - but this was probably because it was an older baby.

I really started to resent the distraction - I felt I was paying A LOT to learn and that the interruptions and occasional focus on the baby were a real distraction. But I was hesitant to say anything.

In the end, someone complained to the instructor and she asked the woman not to bring her child.

Even if it isn't distracting the whole class, I imagine even a young baby might effect students sitting next to you, especially if you're nursing and they aren't comfortable with it . In a public place they could go somewhere else. But a classroom is a really intimate environment -- they don't have many options and may be too polite to say something.

Good luck on finding a compromise. It should be easier than this, shouldn't it?

[Greaseball]

Dh used to teach at the community college, and he had a student who brought a dog to class. She said she felt too anxious around other people unless the dog was with her. It was cute and distracting, but she was not able to come to class if the dog couldn't be there so dh let her bring it.

She could say she had a disability which prevented her from coming to class unless she had her dog, but student moms are sometimes prevented from coming to class and the prevailing attitude generally has the phrase "keep your legs closed next time" in it. I think it's because people rationalize, no one chooses to be disabled, but parents choose to be parents.

Dh brought dd to class once after I had my wisdom teeth pulled. She was 8 months, mobile and verbal, but no one complained because he was the teacher. It's different when the teacher does it.

[goodcents]

I wish I could pay her using student loans, but as a muslim I can't take out loans (becouse of the interest ).

Salaam sister....

you can check out guidance financial which is a halal investment and loan company (they provide islamic mortgages). Perhaps they have a student loan program? I am not sure......

WITHOUT getting this moved to spirituality (moderator pretty pretty please just trying to help a student mama here).....


There are different schools of thought on the interest issue because loans and interest are so much a part of everyday life now. I know the Book and the rules were written for all time but.......some imams and scholars say paying interest is premissable under certain circumstances, particularly when paying interest is the only way to accomplish an admirable goal like supplying housing to your family, or perhaps going to school to increase your education and therefore your income.

I concur that it should be avoided at all costs, but I also know Allah is forgiving. You could also do good deeds, zakat etc to make up the difference. Read up on it and discuss it with your imam. And not for nothing - but for myself I would much rather be paying interest than COLLECTING interest. I know there is no written distinction - but in my heart there is one.

(((hugs))))
Your sister Justine