What age do you let your kids stay home alone?

[AnnMarie]

My oldest is almost 11 and I know this issue may be coming up in a few years. Right now I'd leave my 9 year old home before I'd leave my oldest home alone. She just has more street smarts. I think it really depends on the child, but if you had to pick an age, what age do you think would be OK for a child to stay home alone?

[CarrieBeary77]

You're right; it definitely depends on the kid. I went for 13 yrs old because I think that's a 'safer' age than anything younger. Though I know a couple 12 yr olds that were perfectly able to stay home alone.

For my own kids? Never. :LOL Seriously, probably 13 or 14 yrs old.

[tnrsmom]

Moving this over. :hippie

[LDSmomma6]

I voted 11 because that's how old my son was. Actually he was closer to 12, but it wasn't until the summer he turned 12 that I left him more then an hour. Before then it was just so I could run up to the store (9 houses up), or maybe to a mailbox if I missed the mailman

Once he was about 12, I had that cell phone, and I was gone sometimes. I usually went to Walmart or get dessert with a friend at night when I got the younger kids in bed, and all he had to do was to listen for them as he watched TV. Now, that he is almost 14, I leave him more and more, and my next oldest is almost 9. She is really good with the younger kids.

My mom started leaving me at 9 with 5 younger siblings on a military base even!! Now that she looks back, she realizes that may not have been to safe, but she did, and we lived. I think she would tell a neighbor that she was going to the store or something.

[AnnMarie]

Ugh, sorry, but I have to say it's really annoying how often messages are moved. It seems like most of my posts are moved. :LOL It's now in preteens and teens and I don't think it fits there because it's not about preteens or teens specifically. Maybe TAO wasn't the right forum, but I don't think this one is either. I think there are way too many forums to choose from. :LOL

Basically, I don't think I'm ever going to get it right and I've thought about not posting my own topics anymore because of it. Anyone else feel this way or is it just me? :confused:

[CarrieBeary77]

Originally posted by AnnMarie
Ugh, sorry, but I have to say it's really annoying how often messages are moved. It seems like most of my posts are moved. :LOL It's now in preteens and teens and I don't think it fits there because it's not about preteens or teens specifically. Maybe TAO wasn't the right forum, but I don't think this one is either. I think there are way too many forums to choose from. :LOL

Basically, I don't think I'm ever going to get it right and I've thought about not posting my own topics anymore because of it. Anyone else feel this way or is it just me? :confused:

:) I feel like that sometimes. Oh well. We'll live. LOL! I think it might fit beter in parenting issues. *shrug*

[AnnMarie]

Originally posted by CarrieBeary77
:) I feel like that sometimes. Oh well. We'll live. LOL! I think it might fit beter in parenting issues. *shrug*

:LOL Thanks. Glad it's not just me. :D

[Bluegrass]

I have let my dd (when she was 9, and now at 10) stay home for an hour or so while I have gone not far away. Usually, this is with her friend (also 9), and they are left with my cell phone # as well as the number of a neighbor or closeby relative. We go over all the rules before I leave (don't go outside, keep door locked, don't answer phone unless it's me, don't let anyone in, go to the neighbor's in case of fire, etc.)
I have only left her *alone* if I'm less than 5 minutes away (the neighborhood store or a yard sale) and she always has phone numbers.
It has worked fo rus. I never leave her for more than an hour or so, and usually call several times if it is that long.

[Cloverlove]

DEFINITELY depends on the child. Ds is just now 6 and makes good choices and is very trustworthy. I can see him being ready when he is about 9 or 10. If my child was more of a risk-taker, I would probably wait until 12 or so.

I started babysitting at 10!!! I can't believe parents trusted their children with me at that age.

[Dar]

It really depends on how long of a time period you're talking about. When Rain was 4 I would run to the laundry room at our apartment complex and leave her home; at 7 I would run up the street to return a few library books; at 10 I would leave her home for a couple or three hours, with my cell number. It all worked out. So, I didn't vote...

DAr

[urklemama]

Depends on child and circumstance. If your kids will be heard by someone trustworthy if they start screaming, then you can go to the cornerstore around 7, but if you're talking about alone by their lonesome all evening - honestly I think it's a bad idea for me to alone in the house sometimes! I climb up on counters and fall down A LOT.

[grisandole]

Well, my ds1 is 11, and we leave him for an hour or two at a time. We've worked up to this, though. Starting around age 8 or 9, we'd leave him for a small amount of time while we walked around the block. We kept increasing the times. Now he's responsible enough.

Some of the things that made me feel okay with this were: we've always had big, barking dogs :), we have cell phones he can call, we've always had good neighbors who he could go to in an emergency, and, my son was/is ready to be alone.


Kristi

[eilonwy]

When you say "home alone" what exactly do you mean? I differentiate between, say, being in the house alone with parents outside, being home for 15 minutes to an hour while you run errands, being home for an evening while your parents have a date and spending the night alone. They're all entirely different to me.

That said, I'd have to look at the individual child. I was left home alone to watch my younger siblings from the age of 4 for a few hours and from the age of 6 for longer. I have a 3 year old niece who can't be left alone for 30 seconds and a 6 year old niece who can be left for 15 minutes while you go to the basement to do laundry, but I wouldn't leave her alone in the house for more than 30 minutes, assuming that her sister wasn't there.

So I'm waiting to see. A few hours at 9 would depend on the child and their level of sophistication. I'd be concerned if I thought that I couldn't leave my 11 year old alone for a few hours, so I guess that's where I draw the line.

[bestjob]

I didn't vote either, but I'll give you my 2 cents worth:

It does depend on how dependable the child is, but it also depends on her confidence. I thought dd was ready at 9 to stay home for an hour while I visited with a neighbour, but when I got home, she was really shaken up. She knew all the right things to do, but got spooked. By the time she was really upset, she felt too shy to telephone the neighbours' house, even though I'd left her the phone number with specific instructions to call, no matter what. Usually she's bright and confident, but once she started questioning the situation, she was sunk. I would advise rehearsing the situation of being alone, in all its different permutations as listed by eilonwy.

[lilyka]

I would say starting at 8 I would feel comfortable leaving most children at home for uneder an hour (although not my oldest child who is in way too irresposible and has no desire to be home alone) Around 10 I would feel comfortable leaving them home for longer periods (up to 2 hours) and by 12 I would feel comfortable letting them baby sit for several hours. So long as they worked up to it.

[ekblad9]

Do you want this moved to Parenting Issues or should I leave it? LMK.:)

I voted 11. My ds1 is 11 now (almost 12) and is very responsible. I started leaving him for less than an hour when he was 11. He is quite bright and I don't worry about him opening the door or anything like that. I babysat when I was 11.

[Meiri]

DS was 8 and 9 when twice a month I might not beat him home from a meeting. But I would get home within a few-several minutes of his arrival.

When he was 10-12 and DH's days off were during the week, we'd try to get home close to when he did, but we didn't worry too much if we didn't. We'd call him around his normal arrival time to let him know where we were and how soon we expected to be home.

Now that DH is on a normal week schedule, 13 yr old DS doesn't like it if I'm not home when he expects me to be! I'm much more comfortable now that he's older though and do try to let him know if there's a chance I might be late getting home.

[AnnMarie]

Originally posted by eilonwy
When you say "home alone" what exactly do you mean?

Home with no parents or adults in or right near the home.

[AnnMarie]

Originally posted by ekblad7
Do you want this moved to Parenting Issues or should I leave it? LMK.:)


Nahh, that's OK. Thanks though! :D

[sohj]

I clicked 9 because that's when I was at home all day occasionally without anyone around.

I was occasionally left alone for short periods before that.

I think it totally depends on the person and how well they have been trained for being self-reliant and street-smart (even though they aren't on the street :p ). I know people who are "adults" who shouldn't be left to go anywhere on their own. There is someone on the job I'm on like that....I deal with his data and I really :scratch how he got to be as old as he is without anything happening to him (either by accident or on purpose from someone who is really frustrated with him taking action!)

[mammastar]

Like everyone else, I agree it depends on the child.

My oldest step-dd is 8 and very responsible, but I was shocked to learn from her the other day on the phone (she lives at a distance from us, with her mom) that her mom had left her to look after her 4 year-old sister while picking up grandma at the airport. Step-dd said it was nice that mummy left a fire in the fireplace -- which only made it worse for me! She and the 4 yo scrap all the time, and I don't think she should be made to be responsible for her all by herself.

My sense is also that she would be fine if all went as expected, but not able to handle any unexpected twists.

When they were with us in the summer, I let her spend 10 minutes in the park across the street watching a play while I went home to switch spots with her dad. I told her who in the park she could go to if she had any problems and exactly how long it would be before her dad got there. We also let her go to the store across from our house once on an errand, with me out front of the house watching her - she kept checking back to make sure I was there!

I felt really sick that she had been home alone with her sister for that much of a stretch at such a young age, with a fire burning.

[Marg of Arabia]

10

[MaryKate]

I would agree that it depends on how mature the child is.
I don't think it is a matter of age, more of maturity.

[BubbiesMami]

I voted for 12 only because it wasnt till my DD turned 12 that I started letting her home alone. Even letting her home alone is ONLY if I run to the store quick or if I know I am only gonna be gone for under an hour. Nothing is to say when my son hits 12 he will be mature enough to let home alone though :D

[AnnMarie]

It looks like 12 was the most popular answer. I'm still not sure what age I'll let my kids stay home alone. It could very well be different for each child. Then how do you deal with the feelings they could have about another being able to stay home alone sooner? Maybe it's best just to pick an age after all? :LOL An age that I think they would all be OK alone. I still have time to figure this all out as my oldest is only 11 and I'd never let her stay home alone at this point. lol

Thanks!

[Ann-Marita]

For a long time, my dd didn't even want me to leave the room without telling her that I would be right back! I decided that I would never push her in this area - that I would only leave her when she and I were both comfortable with the situation.

From the time she was about 6, dd has been able to let me drive around to the corner store for a necessity in the morning - at most a 5 minute trip, I can walk it in 15. She's 8 now and not long ago commented, "Oh, you left and came back already? I didn't really notice." She had been playing quietly in her room and (even though I reminded her of the safety rules and said, "I'll be right back" as I left) she was concentrating so hard on her play that she didn't miss me at ALL. I didn't know whether to feel glad that a trip to the corner store is "no big deal" to her, or worried that she hadn't been, I don't know, on a higher alert level, so to speak.

Let me say that my dd is very level-headed. She generally only has to be told a safety rule once and it really sticks. Of course, I still go over them. But she IS very mature and logical for her age. And we have very good neighbors, including an EMT next door who is often home during the day (and who I would trust with my life), and some SAHM's on our block, including one who has a home day care.

I am trying to get a walk in to my day more often, and we have worked out a system where I can go for a walk for about 20 minutes. I have my cell phone, and she knows how to call, and I am walking around (and around) the local blocks so I can run right home if needed. She can look out her window and come get me when she sees me (as I go around and around). We both feel pretty good about this system - she even encourages me to "Walk longer, Mama. It's good for you."

In a few years, I would like to be able to leave her for a couple of hours in the morning while I work (very very part time). Right now she comes with me to work, but that gets old for her sometimes. I don't know when this will happen - it will just depend on her maturity level (not her age).

Ann-Marita

[MommaCheesehead]

I started leaving my son alone for short periods of time when he was 10. He was a very mature 10 and we have 2 big dogs which made me feel better about doing it. He's almost 12 now and has been allowed to spend as much as a few hours alone now.