anothermama
01-12-2004, 05:23 PM
I dunno if this should go here or not but I'm stickin' it in....mods, feel free to move where you feel appropriate...
After being a single mama all four years of my dd's life, I got married last October. We actually "shacked up" a year ago, last January.
The transistion for my dd has been...rough. Add onto it that we're having a baby in May, and I think that may be adding. So I've been snooping around the internet, searching high and low for SOMEPLACE to talk about positive parenting in a blended family and how to deal with the specific issues we are with my dd and dh.
*sigh* Every website I've been able to find is primarily about being a step mom....and THOSE issues...you know, jelousy of the kids (!!!!), how to deal with the "evil" bio mom....:(
I go to other forums I can find to try to ask my questions and all I see is women belittling and insulting OTHER moms ("those F'in biomoms!!!"), talking about how horrible they are, how manipulative they are....and worse, women talking about how "crappy" and "bratty" their step kids are!!!
:crying :crying :crying
I just couldn't believe it. I remember reading some of this a bit when my dd was a baby and I was trying to soak up all the blended family info I could. It's so depressing!!!!!!! It's like no one truly cares about the kids!!! And to see step moms bashing their 4 or 5 year old step kids like that....it just breaks my heart!!!!!!! It just makes me want to go find all those little kids and take em home with me.....
Maybe it's my pregnancy hormones in overdrive right now, but I'm at the end of my day, my dd just went over to play with a friend...and all I can do it sit here and cry. I mean, I guess I should feel lucky that none of the grown ups in my situation are at that level and maybe I should feel lucky that this is my only problem......
But it just makes me so sad. Sad for the kids out there who have to deal with parents who aren't grown up enough to deal.
And...honestly? Sad for me that I can't for the life of me find one stinkin place to look to for help right now. I'm a smart person...I'm a strong woman....but this is just one of those things that is always there, in the back of my head, whispering "You're gonna screw this one up!!". I don't *WANT* to screw this up.....but reading all that just made me feel so much more anxious about the life I brought my dd into and what I might have to look forward to and ......what if the answers I need just AREN'T out there?????
You know what ladies, I generally feel very confident in myself and my parenting, but sometimes the weight of trying to be the best mama I can and wife I can and woman I can....sometimes it just feels like too much.
After being a single mama all four years of my dd's life, I got married last October. We actually "shacked up" a year ago, last January.
The transistion for my dd has been...rough. Add onto it that we're having a baby in May, and I think that may be adding. So I've been snooping around the internet, searching high and low for SOMEPLACE to talk about positive parenting in a blended family and how to deal with the specific issues we are with my dd and dh.
*sigh* Every website I've been able to find is primarily about being a step mom....and THOSE issues...you know, jelousy of the kids (!!!!), how to deal with the "evil" bio mom....:(
I go to other forums I can find to try to ask my questions and all I see is women belittling and insulting OTHER moms ("those F'in biomoms!!!"), talking about how horrible they are, how manipulative they are....and worse, women talking about how "crappy" and "bratty" their step kids are!!!
:crying :crying :crying
I just couldn't believe it. I remember reading some of this a bit when my dd was a baby and I was trying to soak up all the blended family info I could. It's so depressing!!!!!!! It's like no one truly cares about the kids!!! And to see step moms bashing their 4 or 5 year old step kids like that....it just breaks my heart!!!!!!! It just makes me want to go find all those little kids and take em home with me.....
Maybe it's my pregnancy hormones in overdrive right now, but I'm at the end of my day, my dd just went over to play with a friend...and all I can do it sit here and cry. I mean, I guess I should feel lucky that none of the grown ups in my situation are at that level and maybe I should feel lucky that this is my only problem......
But it just makes me so sad. Sad for the kids out there who have to deal with parents who aren't grown up enough to deal.
And...honestly? Sad for me that I can't for the life of me find one stinkin place to look to for help right now. I'm a smart person...I'm a strong woman....but this is just one of those things that is always there, in the back of my head, whispering "You're gonna screw this one up!!". I don't *WANT* to screw this up.....but reading all that just made me feel so much more anxious about the life I brought my dd into and what I might have to look forward to and ......what if the answers I need just AREN'T out there?????
You know what ladies, I generally feel very confident in myself and my parenting, but sometimes the weight of trying to be the best mama I can and wife I can and woman I can....sometimes it just feels like too much.