afraid to take pg test

[doulamomvicki]

I never posted in this forum but I lurk frequently. I have had four losses - a 20 wk, a 18 wk, a 13 wk and this past July an etopic pg. DH really wants to try again but I really just don't think I can stand another loss. We use the Billing method of NFP and have never had any unplanned babies - until maybe now. My period is late (1 week). I can't even bring myself to buy a test. I can't even get myself to tell dh that I might be pg. I am just plain freaked out. I can't have another loss.

Has anyone ever felt this way? I am so sad :( and I know that is not a healthy way to feel.

[SamuraiEarthMama]

Oh, Vicki! How hard this must be for you! My heart just aches hearing this story.

I think you need to be patient with yourself. This sounds like it's been sort of a shock, and it's OK to wait a little before you do anything. Before HPTs were available cheaply, I remember just hanging out for a few weeks before rolling into Planned Parenthood for my urine test...

It's really a new thing now, that we have the ability to find out so quickly and easily whether or not we're pg. And I'm not sure it's always a good thing! We need time to process, imagine, accept...

I'm so sorry to hear of all your losses. Was there a common cause or is it just a mystery? Do you have a trusted caregiver or midwife you can confide in?

Keep us posted on how you're doing! Be kind to yourself, and thank you for sharing your story here.

Warmly, Katje

[Jacque Savageau]

Vicki, I understand your fears :hug. Do the doctors know why you miscarried so late in your pregnancy? What do they say about TTC and future pregnancies?

Don't worry about taking the test. If you are pregnant - you'll likely still be pregnant next week. It's ok to live in a bit of denial until you're ready to deal with it.

Please take care and know we're here to listen.