Guilt for enjoying work...

[MamaSoleil]

I'm feeling kind of guilty, because I'm actually enjoying being back at work, yet I have such a young baby at home!!! With my first dd, I was home for 2 1/2 yrs, then worked weekends, essentially, she had a parent at home until 3 1/2 yrs, when I got this job, and found her a private babysitter.
Now, I have a 5 mth old, and dh was layed off, so we decided I would go to work, and he stay at home with ds.
I work shift work, and get 4 days off/week. Two of my four shifts are nights, and it's pretty slow, so I get to read. I love reading, and don't have much time for it at home.
So, I'm enjoying my freedom, and yet, feel so guilty!!!!
I love my baby, I love my daughter. I feel extremely attached to both. I am pumping, I sling when not working, we cosleep with both kids (dd is 4 1/2 now). I just also cherish my alone time, and it helps me to appreciate my kids more! Am I weird or what?

Thanks for reading, I guess I just needed to put it out there.

peace,

Mamasoleil/samson:hippie

[kofduke]

I'm with you - I'm very slow at work, and it almost feels like a vacation sometimes! I come to Mothering, go to long lunches with my friends...but I know at 5:00 I get to come home to my smiley sweet little guy. I'd rather stay home all the time, but all-in-all things aren't bad right now!

[MamaSoleil]

I'm at work right now!!! :D
I don't really get to come to MDC when I'm at home!
Yeah, I guess it's the vacation feeling that I'm liking. Dh is now doing all the laundry (including dipes), cooking, organizing...so when I'm home, all I have to do, is enjoy my kids...I really do like that!!! :D

[Geofizz]

I love my work, too. I don't feel guilty about loving it. I love my work because it's challenging, I get to work on problems I find interesting, and I work on problems that have a real impact on our environment.

I *do* feel pangs of guilt for being away from my daughter. I *don't* feel guilty for loving my job.

(I'm at work now eating my lunch. I read MDC when I'm waiting for a program to run or when I force myself to take a break.)

[Piglet68]

I feel guilty sometimes, too. My DD is 18 months old, and I was with her full time until three months ago.

I enjoy my "freedom" while at work. And I don't usually feel guilty about being away since she and DH have a great time together (he is the SAHD now).

But...I did have a huge guilt feeling yesterday. It was MLK day and some people at work had the day off, but not me and most of my colleagues. My DH kept asking "are you sure you don't have the day off?" and deep down I said to myself "even if I did I would go in!!". :eek

[EFmom]

I also enjoy my work. I normally don't actually feel much guilt about it. The only time guilt really surfaces is when there are activities at dds school and I can't participate. I try to do some things, but I can't be there every single time they invite parents. OTOH, often they don't allow parents to bring younger children, so if I were a SAHM, I think I'd find it even harder to attend.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Absolutely no guilt here -- either for enjoying work or having 2 kids in daycare/preschool. Now, part of this is that I only work PT and I feel like I found the perfect balance FOR ME. My oldest would be in preschool whether I worked or not (because I think its an important prep for school and he loves it), so that's not an issue. My baby is really well cared for during the day by a day care home that I trust. I love what I do, I feel like I'm making a contribution to the community that I couldn't do otherwise (which is not to say that SAHMs don't do this). My patience level is not such that I could be home all day, every day and not kill both kids, so this lets me do it all. I love it and wouldn't change for the world.

[Lucky Charm]

Guilt isnt part of my vocabulary!
Am I weird or what?
Absolutely not. I'm weird, but not for loving my job. :p

[MamaSoleil]

Well, it's nice to know that other moms enjoy their work too!
I've just had 4 beautiful days with my fam, now tomorrow, I'm back to work. It is a good balance.

:grouphug To us!!!! :D

Mamasoleil/samson:hippie

[petit_bleuet]

I got pregnant unexpectedly on the heels of a cross country move and decided not to find work since I'd be leaving to be with the baby just months after starting. My pregnancy and the 8 months I spent home with my son was the loneliest most depressing period of my life.

I was planning on beginning grad school part-time when I unexpectedly got a phone call from my program's computer lab. The admissions office had sent them my resume and they wanted me to teach for them. I had not planned on going back to work but since they were willing to schedule me all evenings and weekends when DH could watch DS I decided what the heck?

OMG it was the best thing I could have done for myself! I love my job! I love interacting with the students! I love helping other people! I love furthering my knowledge of information and technology! And I love that it's low key and that I can study or play online during slow periods (like right now).

Honestly, I feel I'm a better mom to my little guy since taking this job because my overall outlook on life is so much cheerier and I feel I appreciate our time together so much more now! :)

(Now admittedly my life has become progressively busier since that first semester, I'm to the point where I miss my kid and DH between doing a practicum, working the lab, and taking 12 grad credits but hey, it's my last semester and I'll hopefully land a job in a school working a lovely schedule like 7:30 to 3:30, summers, breaks, and holidays off to spend with my boy and still have plenty of outside interaction and stimulation for my own sanity's sake. :bgbounce )

[tracymom]

There is nearly no truer saying than the old saw "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"

I was just "demoted" to working at home (long story, several reasons) and it may be the best thing to have happened to me in years. I am a people-pleaser and a perfectionist and there has to be no worse combination for family life for a medical transcriptionist supervisor. Somebody ALWAYS has something urgent for you. So my home life was suffering and had been suffering for a while.

Now I get up, take oldest to school, youngest to preschool, then come back home and work mostly without interruptions for beautiful long stretches. I hadn't realized how drained I was from trying to meet everybody else's needs at work!

:champagne
So here's to BALANCE!

[mamaDsofi&iri]

I have felt guilty too.
Howerver, I am sure my balance includes my stimulating work, and I absolutely LOVE the "free" feeling. I must admit I am still trying to find balance (I started going to the office 2 hrs per day this last week, DD2 is 3 mo tomorrow). So:
:champagne to balance too!

PS: I used to spend too much time here "while the program compiles/runs", so I have made a resolution to be much more moderate. Actually, I felt guiltier then, b/c I wasn´t either working nor "mothering".... I believe I did need the connecting, and made really good friends, but I am ready to move forward from my "mdc addiction".

Monica

[MamaSoleil]

Yeah, I spend ALOT of time at MDC while at work, I think it makes me feel connected as a mom while at work. :rolleyes :p

[EMZ]

I used to feel guilty but that only last for a few months. As long as I'm doing something I LOVE (and I DO LOVE MY JOB) then I refuse to feel guilty about it. It took some time, but now I go to work each and every day without any guilt.

However, I have an ideal work situation where I can work only a few days each week (20 hrs) and my child stays home with her dad.

I choose to indulge myself in something I enjoy and can bring home a little money too. If I didn't work, I'd most likely spend more money going out. But since I get "out" when I'm at work, I can enjoy the time I'm home.