Remembering Our Loved Ones~A Memorial

[lisamarie]

This is a Memorial Thread to remember our loved ones who are no longer with us here, but touched our lives with their presence and love and are with us in spirit. This is a place to remember our loved ones on their birthdays, special holidays and on anniversery dates or even just because they are heavy on our hearts today. This is a memorial post honoring our loved ones, but not a discussion or support thread. If you would like to post more about issues surrounding your grief and loss, we would encourage you to post a new thread below so we can support you further.

Please come and light a candle in honor of your loved one and celebrate their lives with us.:love

Warmly~

Lisa:bf

[KaiandAidensMama]

Well, I guess I will be the first since the 2nd anniversary of my mother's death, January 5.
On that awful day, she was murdered along with two other people, while they were sleeping. My family and I consider ourselves rather lucky, because the man who did this sits in jail for life, with no parole possibility. SO we do not have to deal with any more hearings, etc....
Unfortunately, that does not change the fact that she died brutally at only 46 years old. That my 6 year old will barely remember her and my 2 year old will have no memories. My children, especially the oldest, remember the day when I was told, my reaction, everything. They now know, first hand, how cruel and violent the world can be. That is probably one of the hardest things, trying to raise them believing that life really is beautiful when something so terrrible has happened. Another great reason to AP, I am so glad I am, I need them close as much as they need me. We cherish every single second together, no matter how "miniscule" because I know those are the things they will remember. These are the things I remember about my mom, like baking oatmeal cookies, an ordinary day. I will write more about her as the moment directs. I am glad you started this forum, thank you.

[applejuice]

My children set up a memorial to their Poppy, my DH, when he died.

There are pictures, and personal effects and his medals.

There is one in the living room and one in their room.

[Greaseball]

March 16th would have been my brother's 23rd birthday. This was the first year I didn't do anything special. I just couldn't think of anything to do and didn't feel like going anywhere. I just prayed that he would show up in my dreams and he did.

[mamapenelope]

[Joyce in the mts.]

Soon it will be time to take my mother to my dad's and my sister's graves, Just as my parents did for my grandmothers, to go and plant a flower, place a flag, have a thoughtful, silent moment of communion and remembrance.

My sister is buried on the shore of a lake. Her gravestone is white marble, carved into the very old fashioned arched shape, with the image of a weeping willow, a traditional mourning motif, carved into it along with the phrase, "She was truly loved".

It's true, she was truly loved. She was everything I am not: organized, a good student, studious and serious about education. I was a senior in High School when she died.

She most feared, before she died that I would end up marrying young, having babies and living in the boonies. She wanted me to aspire to an education and a career. I managed to manifest everything she feared...but the context is different. I married young, yes, but to a lovely and loving man, who honors mes still over 26 years later. I did have babies...3 of them, and while I chose to be a SAHM, I also did so very consciously weighing the values and the options and deciding what my goals as a mother were. So in a way...there is irony to her fears...as they turned out to be a fulfilling path for me.

Like her, I returned to the old ways. She became a museum interpreter, learned to spin and weave, used herb teas, did plant dying, and practiced those sorts of old home arts. But all these were mere motifs in her life, decorating it, while I took another path: to integrate old ways into my everyday living...using herbs and making my own preparations for healthful living, having homebirths, making do with subsistance living to keep our family footprint on the land, lighter; growing my own food some, using wild plants to supplement diet when we were very poor, and so on. She did pave a way for me...and my path is a simply variation taking what she learned some steps further...the older ways for me, were not studied toward a degree or diploma, but they illuminated a way of life. She showed the way though. I am grateful.

My dad died when I was living out west for a while. That was hard, but I made it through it.

Over the years since he died, I learned many things about him. Some very dark and unpleasant, and in fact, he had touched me inappropriately once and only once, because I avoided any opportunity to be with him alone, till I left home. I forgive him, but still don't understand it. It's been implied over the years that he attempted some inappropriate act with my sister also, but I never did hear more about that, and I will never really know. It's as if with both of us he had momentary loss of sanity and did weird stuff...once, and either by our own actions to counter any further contact with him alone, or by chance or whatever...it never happened again.

But the good stuff...all the laughter, the singing, the appreciation of nature, the love of animals, the values of honesty and kindness...he really did teach my sister and I so much that was good. He also loved to grow a garden of flowers and vegetables. I value that too. He gave us good basics as a parent.

He served our country in the South Pacific in WW2, and was deeply and invisibly wounded and damaged. He could never talk about it...except to share about the funny stuff, about his buddies, about the travels, and wonders of that part of the world. There was also an allusion to some prisoner guard duty he pulled and hints of bad things he had to do to the prisoners. He never could get that off his chest, to lighten his heart. In the end he had a massive heart attack. Ironic that his heart just couldn't carry the burdens anymore.

But over the years, I have passed through many emotions at him...and have come to forgive the stuff about me, and my sister and the things about my mother also... bad things he did to her on all levels.

I can't confront my dad for all the offenses, but he, like my sister, has come to me in dreams...and I realize that where they both are, the negativity of the past is already gone...and it is healed if I let it be. They have let it be. They have both shown me that clearly.

So I value all the good that they brought to my life and while I acknowledge the bad, I choose to glean the lessons from the bad and let the rest be chaff in the wind. The good enriches me even now and I share all that with my children...and they hear it all, the bad and the good, because there is value in both when put in perspective. But it takes lots of time to get there.

Sorry to have rambled so much.

Joyce in the mts.

[ksjhwkr]

I am writing in memory of my sweet daughter, Emma. She died August 23, 2003. Most days I still can't believe she is gone. When I was pregnant with Emma, I knew that this child was very special. I just felt it deep inside of me. When i found out I was having a girl, I was sad because I wanted a boy so badly, but then I realized what an amazing opportunity this was, to give birth to a daughter. Someone who I could understand, someone I could bond with and help her make decisions in her life. I was thrilled. I thought she would be named Grace. But, when she was born, we knew she was Emma. After she died I read a definition for her name, "Embracing Everything." That was my daughter. She loved life, she loved everyday that she lived.

In her 8 months and 8 days on this earth, Emma taught me so many things. She taught me how to be a Mom. She taught me about homebirth, cloth diapers, vaccinations, and a whole other slew of natural things. She helped me to see that just because the doctors say something is right, doesn't mean it is. She gave me new perspective on life.

Emma loved the outdoors. She would put her face into the wind and just smile. I think she liked the wind blowing her hair. She loved the grass and to watch the leaves blow in the trees. She helped me to slow down and really enjoy nature. Emma loved the water. She would stay in the bathtub for as long as I would let her. sometimes I thought I'd given birth to a fish!

Emma loved to nurse. She loved to wake up in the morning and crawl up and play with her Daddy's face. She was happy, so so happy. She loved her cousins, she loved her Daddy and her Mommy. She only cried if she was hungry, tired, or poopy. I could always fix what was wrong with her. She either needed Mommy or the Boob. Her last activity here on this earth was nursing. she nursed for an hour, then I laid her down for her last nap. She never woke up. My sweet princess.

Emma's smile and eyes could light up anyone's heart. People often say she glowed, it's true. You could see the happiness that just radiated from her. Her soul was too good, too perfect for this Earth. She has a much larger purpose than any of us will know.

She is forever my baby, my daughter, my joy.

I miss my baby girl. I will miss her until the day our souls are reunited. Until then, good night my angel, now it's time to sleep...Mommy and Daddy love you more than you will ever know. I love you my sweet baby girl...forever.....

[gossamer]

I am so touched by everyone's story and so sorry for your losses. Of course I am here because I miss my daughter so much. I was blessed to carry and nurture her for 24 weeks, before she was taken from me. Those are 24 weeks I will never forget, they changed me forever.
Gossamer

[Raven]

I have tears in my eyes from reading all these posts...

My Mother-in-law passed away on the 27 December 2003. She was 45. I miss her so much. She was an amazing woman and a good friend and support to me.

She was a chronic asthmatic and she spent many many months in ICU throughout her life. But she never gave up. She was a warrior.

She did so much in her short life and I admire her strength, convictions, passion and dreams.

I miss her so much...

[tracymom]

It's nearly summer and time to plant the garden. Oh, that's right, there is no garden there anymore. No garden, no uncle taking a small girl through the beans and showing her how to pick them, no aunt to sit with and snap the beans with or watch can them.

She taught me to make spaghetti sauce when I was 14. I always meant to have her do it again so I could write it down this time. I wanted to know how she canned her beans so they tasted so good. I was going to take time to do that when the kids got old enough, when we had enough money for me to quit my job, when, when, when....

But time ran out. He got cancer, she had heart surgery. She died. He wasted away from cancer and grief. Childless, but they left us all so lonely.

I wish she were here to fish with my oldest son. I wish he were here to show my youngest son how to drive his boat. I wish they could see what wonderful human beings my children are turning out to be.

My candle tonight is for Martha and Dennis Warren. How I miss you.

[Greaseball]

Well, today is the day he died. My sisters are here from out of state and have not mentioned him at all. I guess that's OK with me. But sometimes I have this fear that everyone else is forgetting him, that their lives are all going on and only mine is affected by the loss.

I was so afraid the baby would be born on this date. I wanted her birthday to be only a day of joy, so I'm glad it all worked out that way.

I keep thinking about what I was doing as he died. I got the police report for the time of death and it was sometime in the afternoon. At that moment 3 years ago I was listening to a voice recital, I think. I didn't have any weird feelings or anything like that. I often wonder if he felt different when he left the house that day. His friends say that on the day before he died, he said that since he had "a new job, a new girlfriend, the best friends anyone could ever have, and new socks" that if he died tomorrow, he'd die happy. So I'm glad he at least got to die happy, but I don't believe he saw it coming.

I don't plan on doing anything special today; maybe next year it will work out to visit the place where he died again. I just wanted to stay home with the baby today.

[rachelle-a-tron]

For my Son Carson Jerome.


Carson died of SIDS in my arms while we were sleeping on feburary 15th 1998. He was 55 days old.


We love you sweet Baby Boy. I wish so badly that you could meet your brother Chase, he adores you, he talks about you & to you every day. Whenever he has a balloon he lets it go for you.


He tells anyone who will listen all about you & your life.


I can not wait to be with you again. I love you.

[Greaseball]

It won't let me into the site...

[rachelle-a-tron]

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/thestephens/

try this maybe? :love

[blueholly]

My Aunt Vicki's birthday is today. She would have been 54. We were like sisters and she died Oct. 29 after fighting pancreatic cancer for 2 1/2 years.

I still can't believe she's gone. She was my best friend, my confidant. I miss her terribly and have dreaded the approach of today.

Happy birthday, Vicki. I'll talk to you in my prayers and memories.

Love,
Your favorite niece Shannon

[lisamarie]

Within the past two months, I have lost two very important women in my life. In October, my dear, sweet, loving Mom and then today, I just lost my Grandmother.

I am here to light a candle:candle in honor of their lives and the love they gave to me and my family:love. They were amazing women:belly, mothers:lady and grandmothers:fairy.

In their honor and memory~

Lisa:candle

[elyice]

My dearest Tamika Winston died in april 2004. She was 36 weeks pregnant Baby Mariah died as well. Eclampsia snatched her life away in the night. Mika was just 28 years old. The awesome mother of two little boys. She was and will always be the best friend I have ever had. Her goodness was so unique and her spirit so pure...
She is woven into all that I am and her voice resounds within me. I adored her.
I will mourn her until I meet her again.John 5:25 “Most truly I say to YOU, The hour is coming, and it is now, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God and those who have given heed will live. -- 28 Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice 29 and come out, those who did good things to a resurrection of life
please vist
www.rememberingtamika.com (www.rememberingtamika.com)

[asherah]

Be at peace Ossian Gilbert.. Irish troubadour, charmer, story teller, friend.
Died of lung cancer 11/04.. way too young.. 52 years old.
We will remember you every time we hoist a Guinness, sit with good friends at a pub, or tear up at a great ballad.

Be at peace FIL who I never met. Died when ds was a young man.
I hear you were a great person, an honorable, fine southern gentleman.
Your son inherited your idealism. You have two beautiful grandsons.
I wish I had known you.

[Lucky Charm]

My beloved father passed away at the age of 54, in Aug of 99. We miss him terribly, especially my 14 yr old. My dad was very close to all my kids, but with my middle boy, things were different. He called A his best friend, his soul mate (my son was 9 when he died).

In the past 5 years, i have lost not only my dad, but my best friend (34 yrs old), and all 4 of my grandparents, two of them since this October.

So i will light candles for them.

:candle :candle :candle :candle :candle :candle

[Simple]

Just over two years ago we lost our one and only child our son due to E. Coli (at two years of age) it is assumed that he contracted it in a daycare facilty, poor handwashing etc.

His Spirit is with me, standing beside me right now, watching every breath I take. He knows I miss him, he knows I love him and he also knows that we will be together someday.

I also know there is a little bit of him inside my wife right now taking care of the new one on the way, and that he says it is ok for us to love another child the way we loved him so dearly.

Rest in peace son, I'll show you how to throw a football in time.


Gerritt.

[Still_Snarky]

My 20 year old cousin, Andre, drown yesterday in a river. I hope that he is some place better, and that his family makes it through this difficult time. :candle

[joesmom]

Lighting a :candle for my maternal grandmother, who passed away a week ago tomorrow. She always had time when she visited to go for long walks, play games, & do puzzles. She was never too busy to spend time with us, & she was the same way with Joe. I am so glad he got to know her & I will do my best to keep her memory alive for him. I miss you Gram!

I will also light :candle :candle for my paternal grandmother as well as my Uncle Dick, who both passed away in the last two years. I did not know them but I would like to honor their memory.

Here is a :candle for Hobart David, the baby my Gram lost shortly after his birth in the 40's or 50's. I can picture her now, holding him & singing to him.

Thank you all for sharing your stories. :hug

[rachelle-a-tron]

For my Son Carson Jerome Stephens & My Papa Jerome John Hellman.

I love you both so much, thank you for gracing my life.

[sahmof2girls]

This is for my father Raymond Harvey Woodcock jr. And my mil Zelda jo Sidon.
My father was taken way too early for his time. He was 41 years old. It has been 5 years this month and I still dream about him nightly. He survived hodgkins disease when he was 28, But it did too much damage to his heart. I love him with everything I am. He tought me everything i know. He was with nature. We spread his ashes in our woods. He loved being there. Our family friends made a HUGE wind chime. like 14ft long and hung it from the highest tree. It sounds so wonderful. I MISS my daddy!!!!!!! I wish my girls could of met him. He ws amazing!!!!!

Zelda was my mil. I never got to meet her. I wish I had. She died of ovarian cancer when dh was 18. Everything II have heard about her is great. She was a loving mom, and would have been A wonderful grandma!!!! She is missed evryday.

I LOVE YOU DADDY AND ZELDA!!!! :heartbeat

Megan

[loved]

:candle for my mother, Barbara Mae Landis. It's been 21 days. She died of multiple myeloma - one year after being diagnosed. She was 60 years old. Too young. I still need her.

I love you, mom.
Thank you for birthing me.

[May May]

Thank you so much for starting this much-needed thread...

This :candle is for my Mama who took her own life at 56 and died on New Year's Eve, 2001. Sadly, she was still alive when she realized it was too late and that she had made a terrible mistake.. I was able to go and see her, though. Straight from the log cabin high in the snowy CO mountains where we had just celebrated Christmas, we raced to catch a plane and then to the hospital where she was being kept alive artificially. I held her hand and felt my inner child's need for her to stay, saw tears fall from her unmoving eyes. She could still feel, but not respond. I will always feel the guilt of 'what if...' (I had gone to her sooner.) I knew she was sad, but did not know she was as sad as she was.

'If only...'

We had planned on going to her and possibly moving her out to live with us, or at least in our town, but did not get there soon enough.. We were going to see her right after the holidays.

God I miss you Mommy!

And the most painful part of all was that my children were robbed of their grandmother, their Mima. And I, at almost 31, felt orphaned. It's been over three years and it's still so hard.

Still so hard...

Some days, I feel the shock, others I realize just how long forever lasts.


Mama, you're a precious angel in Heaven, now. I will see you in the clouds, and visit you in my dreams. This month, March 16, you would have turned 60.


Happy Birthday, Angel.



:candle :heartbeat :yangel :heartbeat :candle

[Greaseball]

Harley would be 24 today. I am going to buy some flowers and distribute them at some roadside memorials in town. There was one where an old lady was killed by a drunk driver while crossing the street, another where a hit-and-run driver killed a bicyclist, and another where a homeless man was stabbed under a bridge.

My younger sister's birthday was three days ago. She turned 22, but for the months before I was convinced it was she who would be 24. I wonder if it's hard for her when it's her birthday and everyone in her family is just all sad.

[May May]

Happy Birthday Momma!


Today is your 60th. Angels have the best birthdays of all because they can fly!

:heartbeat :angel :heartbeat
:angel :heartbeat :angel

:*pangel

:heartbeat :angel :heartbeat
:angel :heartbeat :angel


I'm :heartbeating you and :1praying: for you every day!

[HaveWool~Will Felt]

Thank you everyone for sharing.
I am here to honor my daughter, Grace Olivia.
She was born March 26, 2004. She died the same day.

I love you Gracie. Mama is always with you. I miss kissing you, holding you, smelling you. Please know that you are so missed.

[lisap]

This is for two very special people who are no longer here:

My grandma who taught me that women can be strong and to never underestimate the power of a mother's love. She died on May 14th 2002 of liver cancer. She was determined to live until mothers day and she did. The whole family came over and we had the biggest party! She was a wonderful woman who I miss daily, but I see her in my daughter.

My grandpa died ten years ago March 24, 1995. We are going to celebrate his life on Thursday with a memorial dinner. He was such a loving man and I wish he was here to meet my DD, he would have loved her. He was such a strong man and I loved him so much. It broke my heart when he died. During my younger years I was raised by my parents and my grandparents. I was blessed to have a family that took care of eachother whenever needed.

I read some of the other posts and cried right along with you. This thread has really helped me realize how important our families are to us and to our children. :Peace :candle

[lisamarie]

Lighting a candle:candle today in honor of my dear Mother's Birthday. She would have been 69 years old today and she past away this October 8, 2004. I think of her every hour of the day and the pain and loss in my heart:heartbeat is always there. Some days its still so hard to believe that she is truly gone. The bond between Mother and Child is so strong:love.

We will honor her memory today by having a large family dinner at one of her favorite restaurants. I wish she was just here to celebrate with us.

I love you Mom~

Lisa:candle

[bluey]

I'm lighting a candle for my great-Grandma & my Grandma...:candle 8 years this spring. Miss you both always.


Finally, 3 weeks ago, a beautiful young man's life ended. He leaves behind 2 young sons, his parents, more friends than any one person can imagine. Never without a smile, beloved by all. I will light a candle for him and hope that peace will come to all of us left behind.
:candle

[Magnoliamama]

This is for my sister, Elizabeth Lorraine Krause, who was born on January 29, 1977 and died January 15, 1999. Alone in her apartment, thousands of miles away from her family, she took her own life. As I scoot along in my life, witnessing miracles in my children every day, and taking up her causes for natural living as best as my left-brained self will allow....I miss her so much. I'm missing you every day, Liz. I have no idea why posting here amongst virtual strangers does anything, but no one in real life wants to talk about you, anymore. But I do - I miss you every day and wish you were still here. Love you.

[girl138]

My daughter, Jordana was born on July 4, 2004. She was perfect, funny, sweet, and always happy. Her daddy and I love her more than anything else in the world. On June 24th, 2005 she passed away. She was playing on our back porch while I went over some paper work with an associate. I had to go inside to get a pen while on the phone, and I asked this associate to watch her for a minute, He said yes. He has three children of his own, and I made the biggest mistake of my life. I trusted him with my daughter. When I returned to the deck i did not see her, and I got a gut wrenching feeling in my stomach. I ran over to the pool and pulled her out. She was blue and she wasn't breathing. I screamed and screamed for this associate to call 911, but he did not move. He just stood there. I ran into the house and called myself. She never woke up.. it was just a week before her first birthday, I cannot even describe the pain. I love her so much and every night I go to sleep wishing that I will not wake up in the morning. I would give anything to hold her again.


Jordana was the most amazing person in the world. She always smiled at everyone. She loved the little things in life, like french fries and her new kitten, random. She loved to play on the bongos that her daddy bought her. She loved to sleep with us in our bed. She thought that I was the funniest thing in the world. She made every day beautiful and she touched everyone that ever met her.She taught her father and I what life is all about.

[lisamarie]

Remembering my Mom:candle today. Tomorrow is the 1 year anniversery of her death. We are going away to beach with my entire family to support one another on this day. Sadly, it is also my 2 yo nephews 3rd birthday.

My Mother was a ap mom before the term ever came around. She taught me so much and I miss her daily presence in my life and in my children's lives. :heartbeat

Thinking and remembering you Mom, today, tomorrow and always.

Much Love & Hugs~

Lisa:hug

[Wausau74]

What a wonderful thread.

This if for my Grandma whom I miss so much. I am saddened that my little guy won't know you or ever taste your pecan rolls or chili. I wonder what you would say about him. I miss your laugh. I'm sorry I took you for granted, but I know you know I loved you so. Thank you for your unconditional love.

[motherbug]

Thinking about my Father who died of cancer this June 8th. My mom died 9 weeks later on September 8th of a failed kidney.

I miss them. My children miss them. I feel like a foreigner in a strange world.

Wishing they were here again.

[Velvet005]

My Uncle Alvin just passed on Wed, Nov 23 2005. He had kidney cancer and was diagosed less than one year ago. I can not believe he is gone. I am thankful for him to have been a part of my life. He was a wonderful and very loving man.

For you Uncle Alvin - :candle - I LOVE YOU.

[mama4gals]

My dear mother died November 3 after suffering 25 years with Parkinson's Disease. I thought that because I wanted her to be released from her suffering, that I wouldn't miss her so much. But I miss her so intensely. She was a wonderful woman. :candle

Liz

[gmcnary]

I am so saddned but comforted by all these stories. Sometimes you feel like your the only one that something horrible has happened to but then you read and see there are other people in pain as well. My heart goes out to all of you that have shared your stories.

September 17, 2005, My step sister was struck by a car and killed instantly. Almost 2 months have passed and we have no idea who hit her. As far as we know the case is open but no further investigations. Almost seems like to them her life didn't matter.

She was 31 yrs old. She had a son Justin who is 5. Yvonne has been in my life since we were 7 and 8. She had a life of pain and much struggle. When we got the call that morning, it was a call I knew I would someday receive. Although she was killed she had put her self in a dangerous position which is something she has done before. I am so saddned by her passing. Most of us in our family were hoping that something would happen and make her wake up and realize that she needed to make some serious changes. She didn't get that 2nd chance. I truely believe that she is in a better place and not in any pain. I miss her and wish she was her for me, our family and especially her son. Another thing that is comforting is that I know she is looking after me and my two precious children. She always stuck up for me and I hope she is still doing that. May you all find peace in your hearts especially this holiday season.

[gmcnary]

I am so saddned but comforted by all these stories. Sometimes you feel like your the only one that something horrible has happened to but then you read and see there are other people in pain as well. My heart goes out to all of you that have shared your stories.

September 17, 2005, My step sister was struck by a car and killed instantly. Almost 2 months have passed and we have no idea who hit her. As far as we know the case is open but no further investigations. Almost seems like to them her life didn't matter.

She was 31 yrs old. She had a son Justin who is 5. Yvonne has been in my life since we were 7 and 8. She had a life of pain and much struggle. When we got the call that morning, it was a call I knew I would someday receive. Although she was killed she had put her self in a dangerous position which is something she has done before. I am so saddned by her passing. Most of us in our family were hoping that something would happen and make her wake up and realize that she needed to make some serious changes. She didn't get that 2nd chance. I truely believe that she is in a better place and not in any pain. I miss her and wish she was her for me, our family and especially her son. Another thing that is comforting is that I know she is looking after me and my two precious children. She always stuck up for me and I hope she is still doing that. May you all find peace in your hearts especially this holiday season.

Here is a candle for my sister and everyone elses loved ones. :grouphug :candle

[mamabearsoblessed]

Gram, I am missing you like crazy. Sometimes I get so busy I don't feel you come around me. You were never a quiet soul in life- why start now??
I miss you so. I love you. Lately I have been remembering your hands. The soft, fair Irish freckles. The other day Mom asked me if I wanted lunch and I did hear you "i could eat" :lol . This Christmas is just the first without you.

Missing you Uncle Michael. I can't believe it has been one year. The pipes are calling this Silent Night. :candle

[polka123]

:candle :candle :candle :candle :all my Grandparents are gone :( I miss you more than word can express
Thanks for teaching me about our family & where we came from.

:candle to all the Aunts, Uncles & cousins that are gone

candle to my Father that has been gone 5 yrs - who will never see his Grandson... or see his Granddaughter become a great young woman & hold her someday kids :( OK, ,,, too choked up to type...
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

:candle to my beloved pets that have passed

thanks for starting this thread

[MommaMoo]

Mom, on 12-13, it will be 16 years that you have been gone. You were unbelievably strong until the end, when you requested to be removed from life-support. Dad and I stayed with with you until you left us, holding your hand and weeping. I was only a child of 12 and had no idea how to handle it. Dad was left a shell of human being. Having already lost both his parents, he probably had all he could take. He became, and still is, a terrible alcoholic, although I suspect he had already had that problem for some time. I did the typical "falling in with the bad crowd" and was arrested a few times, finally ending up in a group home for awhile. I was a terrible mess, and dad had no idea what to do. He was a lousy father, I'm sorry to say. It took me until my mid-twenties, but I finally found my path and "straightened out." I am in love with my wonderful fiance (he's an artist AND a leftist who can debate dad into the ground, must drive dad nuts :lol ), and we have the most gorgeous, sweetest baby boy. Dad is a good grampa. He is remarried now and they are happy and in love. Christmas is around the corner and we will be visiting. My step-mom calls me her "daughter," which is odd, because she was never like a mother to me, and YOU were my mom. Oh well, it makes her happy. I am so much like you. I'm an herbalist, into all sorts of domestic hobbies and crafts. I learned a lot from you. You were always so strong, even when you knew you were dying. As I cared for you all those years you were sick, I learned empathy, and the joy of caring for loved ones. I became quite a grown-up early on, with a mature outlook on life and death. I came out a wonderful person on the other side of all the pain and heartache of my earlier years. You don't have to worry about me anymore. I don't know what I believe about an afterlife, but it would be an immesurable, ecstatic joy to be in your arms again. I will teach your grandson about you. Goodbye, mom.

[mom2my4kids]

Posting a memorial for my baby girl Tiffany, who should be 4 years old now. The holidays are always so hard. :( Mama misses you sweet Angel.

[lisamarie]

Today is my birthday and the last day that I saw my Grandmother alive. She had been sick w/cancer and was dying. I feel like it was the best birthday gift that I have ever received and she ended up dying the day after my birthday on 12/15/04. Lighting a candle for Grandma in honor of her life, legacy and love:candle.

Warmly~

Lisa:lady

[hobbitsmama]

thank you everyone for sharing. somehow it makes me feel better to post this .. times like these .. big family times, make it harder.
for my mama .. a memorial. she has been gone for 14 years. i miss her and wish she could be here to meet my kiddos and share this time with me. i like to believe that she would be proud of the kind of mom i have turned out to be .. trusting my instincts and having a crazy but fulfilling time.

[JA'sMama]

:candle Dziadzi (grandpa) It was our first christmas with out you.everyone we know came by to make sure it wan't just the main family it was nice of them. We bought a candle to light for you with 3 wicks 1 because you were a husban 1 because you were a father and 1 because you were the best Dziadzi anyone could have. We could all feel you there and yelling at us to take more pictures :lol The past few days for some reason have been hard. I know you are probily yelling telling me that you are still here just on a different level. I believe this with all my heart but it is still so hard. To know that I can never hug or kiss your ear again. That you will not watch Joe go to his first day of school. Like you did Amy Brian and myself. That Joe will never hear you sing your favorite polkas and watch you dance with Babci in the kitchen on saturday morning you two were so in love. We are taking care of Babci like we promised. I love you Dziadzi I hope that oneday I will marry someone like you. Like I told you before If Joe grows up to be even half the man you were I know that I have done my job as a mother. I love you and miss you more than words could ever describe! :candle

:heartbeat Karen and Baby Joe

[doitmyselfmama]

Mummy, I miss you so much. I just went through the box of pictures Dave "gave" to us, and I miss you all over again. When I got to the groups of pictures you had separated out of Taylor, Laura and I to make into scrapbooks I cried. I feel so lucky that I got a half-finished book and at the same time it's so sad that you did not have time to complete it. Every time I look at Atticus I think of how much you would like to pinch his chubby cheeks. Sometimes it's not enough to think you're with us in spirit, I want you here in body too. I want my son to have a Nanny. I want a mum. I feel so alone so often because I need you to help me with the baby and nobody else is good enough. Jason says I just need to allow myself to be helped but he really doesn't understand. I only want your help. It seems like such a cruel world that could let a beautiful person such as yourself slip through my fingers the way that you did.
Atticus is so perfect. you would be here every day to see him, I just know it. You would be so happy, he's such a lovely baby. I'm sorry you can never touch him.
I miss you.

I don't even know if this is in the right thread but thank you for letting me write it. It was something that had to get out.

[jl22martin]

I think this is a wonderful idea. My son Sawyer Scott was stillborn on Jan.20, 2006. I was 22 wks and had a regular check up only to discover he had no heart beat. After being induced and having to go through labor our son entered the world weighing in at 11.4 oz. and was 9 3/4 inches. The doctors never did determine what happened to him. I think of him every day and I can't wait to meet him in heaven.

[MamaHippo]

My Oma, Jeanette Annamaria VanBraght deBruyn, died on Nov. 16, 2005.

Oma and I were kindred spirits.
She always knew how I was feeling.
She liked to take me aside - me, her spitting image, with her nordic blondness and her strong profile, her eyes, her teeth, her butt (she teased)
Tell me I was her favorite
Tell me I was special, blessed by God
Even when I didn't believe it.
Laughed with me over every triumph
Cried with me over my dramatic teenage tragedies
Her laugh still rings in my ears
her strong accent still lingering
Even after her mind had wandered off without her
and she didn't always recognize or understand
She still always knew, just knew
how to be there.
Proud, tall
Artist, sculptor, painter
lover of babies, gardens, jewelry, her family, her Homeland
Mother of 5
Grandmother of 6
Great-grandmother of 3
She gave me her face, her frugalness, her melancholy
I see her every time I look in the mirror
bake her bread,
sing her songs,
wear her bracelet,
or look at my child...she's given him her image too.
She's always here.

[wackynaturelady]

For my sister, Mary, who was taken from us on March 17, 2006 at about 3:00 am. Today, I was given some of her ashes. It feels so bittersweet to have a part of her here. I just can't believe she's gone.

She taught me that it was ok to think for yourself, even if it wasn't what everyone else wants you to think. She was one of the strongest people I ever knew. She gave endlessly to those who needed help the most: the poor, the weak, the hurting. She suffered so much pain and hurt in her life, but seemed to get less bitter.

She died in the arms of the man she loved in a hotel in Lima, Peru. She was 34. Even though cocaine made her heart stop, we believe it was the Multiple Sclerosis that killed her, because it made her no longer want to live, for fear of becoming a burden.

Mary-
Mom & John, Amy, Jason & I all miss you so so much. The kids miss their Aunt Mary. Shanny drew a picture of you, (with, of course, blue hair). I can't begin to say how I hurt to know I won't see you or hear your voice again.

With all the love in the world,
Your little sister,
San

[TinyBabyBean]

To my husband's dear grandfather. He passed just today. He had a happiness for life that I just can't describe. I learned from him that his quiet more gentle nature could always rise above and reach out when my husband needed him the most. He was giving and generous. We always wanted to spend more time with him but I never felt comfortable around my husband's grandmother who used to recount stories of physically abusing my husband with a sparkle of joy in her eyes that was evil. So, I mostly stayed away but I always adored his Grandfather. He had something good and of love in him that was shining through stronger than it does in most people.

Antonio, thank you for being there for us when we needed you. Me and your five great-grandchildren I have here with me send love to you and wish you well and at peace.

[foenyx]

:candle

I light this candle for my Gram. I grew up as a military brat of divorced parents, so I didn't see her much until I was on my own.

But she was the only one that ever showed me true and unconditional love. It is her seed, planted and watered with her joy for me, that allows me to try and be a better mother to my children; to be what I never knew.

Just a few months before she passed I was able to visit and share the joy of motherhood with her. She met my son and although she never met my daughter, we can see her shining through. Some of the mischevious spirit of my Gram is alive and well in our little pixie.

When my father called to tell me Gram had passed, I just fell to the floor and cried, denying it to myself. I think part of me is still denying it. I haven't really admitted to anyone else how much it hurts to lose the person who loved me so much, understood me and found joy in me like nobody else did.

Thank you for giving me a place to light my candle for her.

[Tonia80]

I dont really know what to say here cuz I think if I start I may never stop. So, will share with you two poems I wrote. the first for my only daughter Destiny Starr whom I miscarried due to a partial molar pregnancy in December of 2001 and the other a child I lost just a month and a half ago to miscarriage whom we named Angel Petra (a unisex name, petra means 5, s/he was my 5th pregnancy)

REPERCUSSION OF A LOST CHILD
hard to tell
which way we fell.
hard to know
where winds can blow
when storms raged
above our heads,
when darknes came
and brought the dead.
she was the ghost
haunting your dreams,
she was the regret
that swallowed up your screams.
We assumed love
would always be enough
to keep us going
when thinsg got tough,
but there yo are
with paper and song
twisting it, changing it,
making it wrong.
starchild, moonchild,
dancer in the twilight of winter,
only a moment in time
she was mine,
she was ours,
only a moment in time....

BLEED (upon miscarrying my 5th child)
I.
she wanst nothing more
than to bleed,
this little life fluttering
insistently stubborn
within her.
It is, at best,
a nuisance, a distraction,
an unfortunate circumstance
to be forced, flushed, scraped, sucked
OUT
by any means neccesary.
One life ended
so one can go on.
One interupted
so she can be
Uninterrupted.

II.
I am pleading with God,
making desperate deals with Him,
to stpo this bleeding.
I find myslef crouching
in my pristine white tub,
watching clots, tissue, fragments of placenta
slip silently out of me,
lie forlornly beneath me
on cold porcelian.
I cannot look away
from tiny weavings of deep red viens
in gray-red amniotic sac.
I discover the cord
and I weep.
I was ready for this life
to change everything.
I welcomed that change.
Now it is lost.

III.
I cannot escape teh cruel irony,
She wanting to bleed,
I wishing I never had.
I want to yell at her,
"Don't you see how lucky you are?
I would trade places with you,
If I could."

I cannot hate her for this.
We take two seperate paths,
and I cannot judge her
for not taking mine.
But it still hurts like hell.

One girl killing her child,
The other helpless to save hers.
I'm not sure which is the worst nightmare,
Which leaves the deepest scars,
Which leads to the most regret.

We're both, in the end.
just two mothers of lost angels.

[Mama8]

To my sweet darling baby boy Christian. I miss you so very much. You were my only son. I poured my heart into you. You were so wise beyond your tender age. Looking into your eyes was looking into portals of eternity. I am so sorry that your life held so much pain. I grieve you never got to feel the wind and rain on your face never got to nurse at my breast. I loved you high pitched staccato chipmunk voice, you Elvis side burns, you strength will and determination to live. You were a true fighter from the moment of your conception. I miss you buddy. I miss the feel of you little head and body nestled on my breast. I miss the feel of your hair on my lips as I rubbed my face across your little head. I loved that you were not a placid baby but had spirit and fire. You always did know what you liked and what you did not, you also knew who you liked and who you did not, and you were never afraid to let it be known. My arms physically ache to hold you again. How very desperately I want to walk into our bedroom and find you sleeping snuggled in with your sisters. I wish I could see you with your twin Jenny. I grieve the could have beens. The pictures of you and Jenny through the years, breastfeeding, homecoming, co-sleeping, slinging, crawling, walking, homeschooling, playing outside and getting that dirty boy smell, seeing you grow into a man and finding your dreams. My dream is to see you again. I know I will it is just so long and I miss you.:candle

A second candle I light :candle for my cousin Wendy Menzter. Killed 2 months after Christian died and 2 months after her 17th birthday. She had gotten in a roll over accident. They suspect to avoid a deer. She survived the accident and was gathering her belongings off the highway and putting them in a pile. They suspect she was looking for her cell phone to call for help. It was night and the highway was dark. She was hit by a semi who never stopped but dragged her down the highway. They have never caught or charged the semi driver. She was from a small town in MT and her mother was the public health nurse and the only medical care in town. So the family was well known. The sheriff who knew Wendy well, could not identify the body. My prayer is for comfort and a measure of peace for my Aunt and Uncle who are grieving her hard. I also pray that the Lord protect her brother who is on his fourth tour of duty in Iraq in the Marines and brings him home safely.

My God hold us all in the palm of His hand.

[lisamarie]

Lighting a candle today for a dear family friend, Rev. Kenneth Peterson, who died last early Sunday morning. He dedicated his life to the church, to his family and to his community. I feel so lucky to have had the opportunity to know this gracious man. His voice was like James Earl Jones, his smile lighted up a room and his words were priceless.:candle

Warmly~

Lisa:candle

[box_of_rain]

:candle A candle for my grandmother who died yesterday morning.

:candle One for my dad who died of cancer in 2000 (at age 50).

:candle One for my oldest friend who was hit by a car and died in 2004 (at age 24).

:candle One for my gardening grandfather who taught me so much (1991).

:candle One for my musical grandfather who loved to play fiddle (2005).

:candle :candle Two for the grandparents I was never able to meet (1961 & 1962).

:candle One for Sarah (1998) :candle One for Jeff (1999) :candle One for Kevin (1995) My sweet friends.

I miss you all.

[lisamarie]

Lighting a candle:candle this morning for my dear Mother. It has been two years since she lost her life and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her voice, her touch and how much I miss her. She was an amazing Mother and Grandmother and it is so painful not to have her here.:(

In her honor~

Lisa:candle

[Arania79]

:*pangel For my wonderful Grandmother..... I will always adore you (http://psyko.homeftp.net/arania/Memoriam.html)

:~bangel For my equally wonderful Grandfather....December 21, 1991...

They're together for eternity....:candle :hug

[Kirsta Martin]

My husband of 14 years was killed on August 13 by a drunk driver. Brad was on his way to fish, as he did every Sunday. We were high school sweethearts, so I feel as though I lost 20 years of my life and memories. I have two boys, 6 and 8. I am hoping to connect with someone who has done this, or is currently dealing with it.

[JA'sMama]

It has been a year ans 10 days since I lost my Dziadzi (grandpa) I miss you Dziadzi you have no idea how much I needed you this year so much has happened and I you pictured you huggung me to make it all better even when I got older your hugs were like magic. You know even if I did not tell you what was troubleing me just talking to you made things better isn't that silly? but they did even if I didn't talk to you knowing you were there would even work. I knew I depended on you but for how much I did not realize wow did I even depend on you even if it was just for that hug. Joey and Andrew have grown so much in the last year and they talk about you all the time I swear they see you I have heard Joey talking to you. The other night he would not go upstairs to go to sleep until he was able to look at your picture. I miss you more than I ever thought I could miss someone. You were my grandfather my fahter my rock and my friend. We have been taking care of Babci Like we said we would she misses you so much and feels so bad that she was so angery with you the last few months of your time with us. She loves you and I hope I hav ethat kind of love someday. I was so blessed to have had you in my life and to have been loved by you. I have always felt that way always. I love you and miss you I know I will see you again oneday and that thought makes me smile until then Dziadzi I will see you in my dreams and feel you there in times of need and talk to you in my prayers I love you more than you will ever know!

[rainbowmoon]

:candle for DH

I won't forget you baby (even though it seems like everyone else already has)

[Jenny_Jane]

for my dh I will never forget you. You are my baby, my heart, the fire in soul that keeps me going, the babies in my belly, my honey, my life, my everything ,and the love of my life. A wound so opened never to be closed I miss you I need you. A life gone never to be forgot, may our fire burn forever our souls combine, and may you sing our children to sleep with your beautiful voice and keep me warm at night. Though every one seems to have forgoten you I never will.
:candle ~*~in you're honor~*~:candle

your loving and forever faithful wife and children
Nicole,Jennifer,Jane, and Johnny & Sara we love you

[Hey Mama!]

:candle for my Nana, who died on October 26, 2006 from lung cancer at age 66. She was my only grandmother, and I was very close with her.

In the lilt of Irish laughter,
you can hear the angels sing.

Sing songs of joy and songs of peace,
we know that you are finally free.

:shamrock :candle :shamrock

[zenenlightened]

For my Mema who passed on March 2, 2006 from Lung Cancer. She was 67. She was the rock in my family.

For my Grandpa who passed in 1985 from Cancer. He was 57.


:angel :flower

[caricandothis]

For my Mom.

On December 27, 1995 you told us you had cancer but that you'd be "okay".

On May 16th, 1996, you got your wings and flew off to heaven leaving us behind.

I've spent 9 Christmases without you, soon to be 10. I've had 3 children that you will never hold and spoil. I've had 9 birthdays without you, proof that even though I was sure I couldn't live without you, I have. I miss you. It sucks that my little girls will never know you. It sucks that I can't call you up and talk to you about my life. It sucks that I will live without you longer than I lived with you. 17 years is much too short of a time to have a mother. :gloomy:

:*pangel

[ksjhwkr]

:*pangel It's almost your 4th birthday baby girl. I saw a little girl at the car dealership today who will be 4 tomorrow. You would have been so big. Your little brother and sister miss you. They don't know it, but they do. Mom and Dad miss you the most though. Not a day goes by that my heart doesn't ache to hold you again. Your little sister looks like you and sounds like you too. Oh I miss you. :candle

[Nikki Christina]

David Michael :candle

I will write more Later..but December is so hard for me.

December 18th will be 2 years since he died
December 28th he would have been 9.

I miss him so much.

[mlmkmm]

My best friend HASH

The last time I saw you, you were in your car out front of a friends party. You called me over but I was too busy talking to someone else, I yelled that I'd talk to you later. I'm so sorry... if I knew it was going to be the last time I saw you I for sure would have come over. You went out skate boarding the next day at the lake... my boyfriend at the time told you about a "really cool spot". I wish he never had. Why couldn't you have taken the other trail, why didn't you see that that trail was to steep for you? You fell 70 feet to your death, there isn't a day that goes by I don't think of you. I love you and I miss you. I went by this summer to see your cross by the lake, it's getting old and it's falling apart. I'm going to get with gina and the rest of the group to make you another. I love you... be with me.

[Rigama]

I'm sorry I couldn't do something special for your birthday yesterday. I just didn't have it in me. It's been almost three years that you've been gone, and my grief, though still strong and with me every day, is lightening. I know you are dead, I live it every moment. But at the same time, that fact is so well intergrated into my soul that stopping to remember your birthday just hurts too much because it really underscores what I know. That you're gone and I'll never talk to you again. In some ways, it's easier to not aknowledge birthdays and holidays because when I do, my grief opens up fresh and deep all over again.

But I love you, dad. I think about you every day, and still cry a lot more than people think.

Happy Birthday. I hope a day late is better than not at all.
:candle

[editmom]

I still have trouble believing that you are gone. I can't call and get comfort or parenting advice. I remember the howl that came from my toes when I learned of your death. I can't understand the how and why because you were so good and did so much for all of us. You were truly the first activist, loving, energetic mom. You were the definition of mom. But you were not mine. You mothered the world and I will miss you forever. Thanks for the gifts you so freely gave me. You taught me to be hugged, you taught me to be loved. You will be missed, are missed daily but I am thankful that you were such a part of my life for 25 years. I wish you could know my children, all adults now. I wish I could have held you near the river one more time. I am glad that you did not suffer. You left in the blink of an eye.

Forever my friend, my teacher, my parent. We all know you were magic and had the power to heal. For my Jane who shocked us all by dying suddenly at the age of 70. I will know you in my heart forever.

[Brookesmom2005]

My sister who was my best friend was hit by a truck on Dec 8,2006 and died while crossing the street. She was always there for me no matter what. It was so sudden and shocking that I still have so many questions like WHY? She was right by my side when I gave birth to my daughter and it was a truly amazing experience for her. No I don't have anyone I can pick up the phone and just chat with. :crying I love her and I'll miss her very much!!
She is now in heaven with my father who died of a seizure on January 31, 1988. They'll now be able to take care of each other and celebrate all the holidays together. We miss them both so much!! My daughter now has 2 guardian angels looking after her. :angel :angel :1praying:

[habibekindheart]

Merry Christmas, Ashleigh :candle (died Feb 23rd, 2006)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v203/habibekindheart/Kids/Ashleigh.jpg

Merry Christmas, Isaac :candle (murdered Aug 16th 2006)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v203/habibekindheart/Kids/Babu50p.jpg

Mommy misses you every single day. My life is not the same without you in it. I will never stop fighting in your names. Never.

[caeden&connersmom]

:candle In Loving Memory of my Dad :candle
who died one year ago today at 56.

You fought so bravely for such a short amount of time, but in the end you weren't able to beat the cancer.

I am so glad I was able to make it back in time to say goodbye to you. Holding your hand till the end is something I remember every day.

I miss you so much dad, I never ever thought I would be raising my boys without their Grandpa in their lives. That they will never know you breaks my heart every day.

I love you.

[Brazilianmommy]

:candle Grandma:candle
October 12,1932- December 28,2000

Nana, I just want you to know that I love you and I miss you with all my heart, my nana passed away from Ovarian Cancer

:candle Grandpa:candle
September 1,1919-May 22,1992

I bet you're telling everyone your jokes in heaven isn't it? you where my father and I actually called daddy as a child, I miss you, my grandpa died from a heartattack

:candle Mom:candle
December 22,1948-December 24,2006

Mom, your dead was so unexpected, I miss you so much, I will miss you everyday

[elvishlucky]

Happy Birthday to my Dad. We miss you so very much!

[lisamarie]

In Loving Memory of Boomer 9/90 - 1/19/07

Boomer was our 17 year old, golden retriever who was our beloved family member. He was a patient and loving dog and was always there for us. He was my first "baby" and was my sweet son's "brother". After a year of slowly going downhill, his body began giving out last week. Couldn't stand anymore, stopped eating and then couldn't eliminate. Its was a painful decision, but I wanted him to die with dignity. The last day of his life, I had a pet Reiki therapist come to our home to give him a session. I wanted him to be free from anxiety and stress. I would walk this path with him. I sat by the fire with him and brushed him out and cried many tears. Then, our family went together for his final journey. I looked deep into his brown eyes and told him how much I loved him and it was o.k. to go. It only took a minute. We have his ashes and a memorial table in our dining room to honor his memory.

In Honor of My Sweet Boom Dog,

Lisa:candle

[noordinaryspider]

:candle Sis 1962-1992 :candle

The other half of me, the only person who could ever understand: the big sister who will always be the hero I strive to emulate.

[gingerstar]

:candle Daniel Lee :candle 3/14/69 - 4/23/94
I miss you every day.

:candle Dad 7/6/45 - 10/4/06

Someday we will be together again.
I love you.

[chloeM]

This is tribute to my hippy, happy wonderful brother. He was living in Mexico on the beach being a bum playing the conga s and lovin every minute of it.He eventually came back home and him and his buddies were in the process of buying some acreage to share. They were each gonna put a house or yurt or something to live and have shared land and grow their own food. They were gonna drive to the location and look at it one more time before the posession date. My mom told him not to go, something bad was gonna happen she just knew. He didnt listen. THey were on their way up and my brother told his friends that he knew he was gonna die tonight the feeling had just come across him, and could they pull over to the nearest liquir store. My brother proceeded to get wasted(he wasnt the one driving). About 20 minutes from the property the car hit black ice and hit a pole. My brother was instantly killed. No one else had a scratch on them. I will never forget my brother. I came from an emotionally abusive household and he was the one that kept me going.I was 13 and he was 23. I not only lost my brother, but i also lost the only family member that has ever cared for me..........how I miss my brother!! Sean leonard Haight...September 1968- February 1991

[proudhsmommy]

It's been a month since we took our precious daughter Ruby (http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j131/proudhsmommy/ruby2.jpg) off of life support due to a complication of RSV. :(

I wanted to do a memorial post to let her know that we all miss her very much. Mommy misses you so much Roo Roo and each day that goes by is one step closer to me wrapping my arms around you again when we meet in Heaven.

I love you so much Roo,

Mommy :*pangel

:candle :sunshine :candle
I'll sing your favourite song before I go to bed, you are my sunshine!!

[proudhsmommy]

Today would have been Ruby's 2nd birthday and I just wanted to do a little memorial and light a :candle for her. I made a special Roo Roo Bear for her, wishing her a :birthday: on a voice chip and putting in some of her ashes.

Roo's Birthday Bear (http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j131/proudhsmommy/RoosBirthdayAngelBear.jpg)
Roo's Birthday Bear Bottom (http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j131/proudhsmommy/RoosBirthdayAngelBearBehind.jpg) (cause it just made me giggle)

I miss you so much sweet Ruby and I so desperately wish that you were here with us. You are such an energetic and happy child and I miss that terribly.

(((((huggles ~ kissies ~ toe nibbles)))))

Mommy

[rainbowmoon]

:candle for my DH
as we pass yet another anniversary of you leaving this world
RIP my sweet man, my best friend, my soulmate my:heartbeat
& beloved Daddy.
9/23/1972-8/25/2005

[AlwaysByMySide]

Chloe Isabella
b. February 5, 2007
Received her angel wings on March 28, 2007

http://chloe-fontana.memory-of.com/

[lisamarie]

Lighting candles today, Mother's Day, for my Mother and Grandmothers Clara and Rosella:candle :candle :candle. Miss you all so much!:heartbeat

Warmly,

Lisa:lady

[sungrrl42]

My mom was cool, my mom was smart, my mom was loving, my mom taught me how to be a woman & a mom, my mom drove me crazy & was my best friend. My mom loved my kids. My mom was too young to leave us. I miss her alot today, our first Mother's Day not together. The world should spin a little slower because my mom's not here. Everyone who sees me should notice a little piece of me missing because my mom's not here. I want to go outside & scream "MOM" & see if she answers. I want to dream about her tonight just to see her. I want her to come to Aidan somehow & let him know she can still see him & loves him tons. I light a candle for my momma pajama because I can still feel her next to me.

:heartbeat :candle :*pangel :heartbeat

:bfs

[girljen]

:candle Lighting a candle for my dad this Father's Day...

He taught me the simple pleasure of sitting on the patio with a glass of lemonade, watching the world go by. He taught me that the mind needs to be conditioned just like the body, and sparked my love for all things medical when he bought me The Visible Man at age three. He liked to "wind us up and let us go," something all kids need sometimes. If he had gotten the chance to meet my little Liz, he would have spoiled her rotten.

:twothumbs Instead of a funeral, he had a memorial drag race!

Peace, Dad! It was fun while it lasted.

[elvishlucky]

Very cool about the memorial drag race, Jen. Sounds like something my dad would have enjoyed as well... :grouphug:

:candle A belated Father's Day candle for my dad. We missed you very much on our first Father's Day without you. :(

[Suzannah]

In memory of my father who died on May 1st, 2007 after a long fight with cancer. I miss him so much.

[lisadunham]

This past Saturday 6/23/07 my grandmother died. I miss her terribly but know she has found peace. I'm thankful she was able to meet my daughter Emmaline who I named after her. She was a strong, kind woman and I miss her.

[honeydee]

This is for my should-have-been brother-in-law John. He was such a happy, shining soul, and would give the shirt off his back for anyone. He and my sister were to be married this year. Instead his truck exploded in an incredibly freak accident which still has no clear explanation. My little sister has finally reached a point where she can function in her day-to-day life.

John, thank you for gracing us with your presence. We are all better people because we knew you. Zoe misses her uncle, and I know you would have gotten a kick out of Avery. Melissa is so strong now, I hate that it took your death to make her stand on her own. I know you're taking care of her, wherever you are. I wish you were here, and when I think about what happened, I still can't believe it is real. Love you, man.

:candle :candle :candle :candle :candle :candle :candle :candle :candle :candle :candle :candle :candle :candle :candle :candle :candle :candle

[KJoslyn78]

Today is the 4 yr "anniversary" of you being gone dad... and it hurts more and more... esp now that mom is gone too (7-6-07). I wish you were here to see the "new" kids and Lexi misses you terribly. I know you were here when Liz was born - but 7 weeks wasn't enough time and i know you'd love her to pieces... and Andrew is just a riot and think of the r/c car racing... wait - better still how about some trains. We got just the kids a wooden train set and goodness knows i know you would spend hours playing with it with them... or help build the swing set (we're now waiting a year on to build) or even just to talk over some coffee...

I miss and love you dad :candle

[hypatia]

To my friend Emily from high school who would have turned 30 this week. This week also marks the eleventh anniversary of the day she died. Emily, I wish you were still here!

I keep remembering a conversation we had back in high school in which she accused me of looking down at her for "just" wanting to be a SAHM. "Because," she said, "that's really what I want to do. What's wrong with that?"

Now I'm aching thinking, was it really too much to ask, for her to grow up and get married and have a nice life taking care of kids?

Because it never happened. I'm very sad that she never got to experience the joy that I'm experiencing right now.

[rainbowmoon]

:candle :123 :candle
remembering us today and our life together.

NFA

[gingerstar]

:candle: MY DAD :candle:
One year ago today....
We love you and miss you.

[lisamarie]

Lighting a candle for my dear Mother:love who died three years ago at this exact time:candle.

Miss you,

Lisa:candle

[Silvercrest79]

:candle :candle For the most wonderful father, husband, and police officer most have ever known. (http://www.ourmidland.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=18894676&dept_id=472542&brd=2289&pag=461 (http://http://www.ourmidland.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=18894676&dept_id=472542&brd=2289&pag=461))

May you rest in peace Chad. We promise to take care of Sarah and the kids always. :candle :candle

I've updated the link in my signature to his obituary.

It still feels like a bad dream. I just can't grasp that he is gone. I'm waiting to wake up. I've wept from the very core of my soul for three days. I can't begin to image how much pain his wife is in. :gloomy:

We stopped by last night and dropped off two cards, one for her and one for the kids, and gave her a soft fuzzy brown teddy bear with a note saying he was for hugging, punching, cuddling, and crying and screaming into. The very first thing she said when she saw us was, "How are you guys? We've been praying for you." Even in her deepest darkest pain which was written all over her beautiful face, she was concerned about how we were. She is an amazing woman. :loveeyes:

[MorgnsGrl]

This post is in memory of my beautiful, bright nephew Justin, who died of DIPG (diffuse intrinsic pontine glioma, a rare type of brain cancer) on June 26, 2007, at the age of 7, after a 17 month fight. He was incredibly brave, sweet, and funny, and he was loved by everyone who met him. Watching him take his final breaths was the most devastating thing I've ever experienced, and we will never, ever forget him. We love you, Justin. Not a single day goes by that I don't think of you.

[flamehairedmama]

My nephew, Luis (http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2260/1879487818_596433890c_o.jpg), died November 5, 2007, from SIDS. I thought I knew what grief was before this, but I didn't have a clue. He was the most beautiful, sweet, happy little baby boy. He was the first newborn I ever held, the first baby I ever gave my entire heart too. The tragedy of his death, of the absolute shock of it will be something I think I will never recover from. One moment, he was happy, healthy, perfectly fine. My sister put him down for a nap, and when she went in later, he was blue. She tried to perform CPR. His eyes, his lips, his entire body was blue, and he felt like a rag doll in her arms. Milk kept pouring from his mouth as she tried to get him to breathe. She sobbed to me over the phone, I just want him back, I wish I could make him again, I wish he was here with me! She told me how the night before, he was lying in his bassinet, staring at his Winnie the Pooh mobile, and cooing and giggling like it was coolest thing he had never seen. Please say a prayer for my sweet sweet nephew. :~bangel:ribpb:

[elvishlucky]

That is positively heart-wrenching. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your nephew.

[Cherie2]

My mama died unexpectadly of a stroke last month on the 26th. I love her very much. I am still reeling really. In my effort to process this I have made a website for her (and to try to reconnect with all her friends) you may visit it you wish.

http://moonwater13.blogspot.com/

[ksjhwkr]

I am remembering my dear friend today. She lost one of her twin boys on November 19th. He was 10 days old and just so sweet. This candle is for Kerri, Pete, baby Golden and his twin brother, Orion, who is gone way too soon.

:candle:

[SeaMama]

My little brother took his own life on August 26 of this year. He was only 28 and a beautiful, amazing person. I can't even put into words how devastated I am by his death and how much I miss him. My heart goes out to everyone here (and everywhere) who has lost a loved one. If there's one thing I've learned from Sky's death, it's that we're all connected and we all need each other, and we're not alone. Blessings and love to all of you.

http://rememberingsky.blogspot.com/

[aaronsmom]

I just wanted to honor the memory of my closest and dearest friend, Shane Tillmann.
He died by suicide on September 20th, 2007 but he will forever live in my heart.
I miss you so much, Shane, and I look forward to the day when we will see each other again in the next life.:candle

If you or anyone you know is suicidal, please get help immediately. Suicide Prevention:ribyel: (http://www.suicide.org)

[Kontessa]

July 18, 1933 - November 22, 2007

Today I sing at the memorial for the most amazing women I have ever been blessed to know. She was a social activist, my NVC partner, and showed me unconditional love. I am better friend because of her. She raised a family and changed the lives of so many. Goddess miss her. She will be alive in me and so many others.

[MommyofPunkiePie]

I am very saddend by the loss of a great friend of 17 years. He passed away on December 14, at around three in the morning. He had gotten a liver cancer (that spread to the kidneys, spleen, and bones) diagnosis only 16 days before. He was a mere 35 years old, and he leaves behind a beautiful 39 month old daughter, a Mother who is the most amazing woman ever, and a wonderful brother.

[caeden&connersmom]

Exactly 2 years ago right this minute, my dad died after a hard fought 10 month battle with lung cancer.

I miss him so much. I love you da. :candle

[elvishlucky]

Today is my dad's birthday. He would have been 53 years old.

Happy Birthday, Terry. Wish you could meet your granddaughter and hold your grandson again. We miss you so much :candle

[Jacque Savageau]

In memory of my mom Serita. She died of Cirrhosis of the liver on 1-8-08 after a long struggle with alcoholism.

Right now I'm morning the mom I'll never have more than the mom I lost. It was a difficult relationship for both of us and I regret deeply that my kids did not get to know her as a grandmother.

[babygrant]

In memory of my mom Serita. She died of Cirrhosis of the liver on 1-8-08 after a long struggle with alcoholism.

Right now I'm morning the mom I'll never have more than the mom I lost. It was a difficult relationship for both of us and I regret deeply that my kids did not get to know her as a grandmother.

I'm sorry Jacque. :(

[PapayaVagina]

:candle
For my beloved friend Jessica who we lost this past fall. I miss her every moment and am still in shock. Everything reminds me of her. She was my oldest friend and was there for me for every major milestone of my life. She truly taught me what it is like to be a wonderful friend to someone.

[maciascl]

It has been 11 years since my Grandma died. She had multipe myeloma, cancer on the spine & in the bone marrow, essentially. I miss her so much. I was only 18 when she died. A stupid teenager. I wish I had taken her illness more seriously & spent more time with her while I had the chance. I already feel like I don't remember her. I miss her more and more now that I have my own children. She'll never get to see them & they will never know her. It sucks that I can't talk to my mom about her because my mom has developed some real emotional issues since my grandma died. She is very easily upset & it just isn't worth the chance of the drama it would bring up.

I miss you Grandma! I love you! :candle

[MommyofPunkiePie]

Happy Birthday to my Grandpa Max, on his second birthday on another spiritual plane. I miss you terribly, but at least now I know you are keeping Grandma company. Lizwell asks about you all the time, and I tell her you're with your wife -- she buys it every time! Ahhh, the joys of being three! :wink

Anyway, I love you and I hope Grams isn't giving you too hard of a time. She'd better not, you've been reunited after all these years! :love Send her my :love, too!

[PapayaVagina]

:candle

For Riley. We miss you dearly.

[laoxinat]

In memory of my mom Serita. She died of Cirrhosis of the liver on 1-8-08 after a long struggle with alcoholism.

Right now I'm morning the mom I'll never have more than the mom I lost. It was a difficult relationship for both of us and I regret deeply that my kids did not get to know her as a grandmother.

I'm right there with you, J. My mom died 12 years ago of lung cancer and emphysema, complicated by alcoholism. We healed a lot before she passed, but we sure had a ways to go. :hug to you, mama :candle for your mama.

[Jacque Savageau]

Thank you, your words mean a lot to me.

[*Kelly*]

My friends 9-month-old son was killed last week. Sage, I will love you and miss you always. You did not have enough time in this world. I hope where ever you are, your spirit is reunited with your parents' one day. Thank you for the joy you brought into this world.

[Jacque Savageau]

My friends 9-month-old son was killed last week. Sage, I will love you and miss you always. You did not have enough time in this world. I hope where ever you are, your spirit is reunited with your parents' one day. Thank you for the joy you brought into this world.

:hug

[*~Member~*]

I thought I had done this but I haven't.

In memory of my Uncle Bill who died in May of 07 after a 12 year battle with ALL. He'd received a bone marrow transplant in Dec of 06.

In memory of my beautiful princess who now Dances with the Angels. Calypso Paikea Rhyder Lane 6/14/07-7/7/07. Mommy misses you and my heart hurts and yearns for you.

In memory of my dear cousin William Ryan Fritsche. KIA in Afghanistan on July 27, 2007. He had been married for 6 months. We miss you.

And last but not least, my dear Grandma Nellie, passed away in November of 07 suddenly during a hernia repair surgery.

[Towgirl]

I'm lighting this candle for my Husband.

We were married on July 13, 2007.... Friday the 13th. I don't believe in that supersticition..... I lost him on March 14, 2008 to his own hand and the mental illness that had taken over his mind.

Babe, I miss you every minute of my days... The kids miss you so much. How you thought we were better off without you is unfathomable to me. You were an amazing father, loving husband, wonderful employer, and kind, caring, warm soul. The world lost one of the great ones on 3/14/08. We are all better for knowing you, Jay. I love you so much... I wish I could scream loud enough for you to hear me say it one last time. I wear your a small part of you around my neck... I have to have some of you close to me.

Missing you always..... Loving you more!

:candle :candle :candle :candle

[Monarchgrrl]

My brother, my only sibling, Sgt. Phillip Anderson, was killed on March 10, 2008 in an IED explosion in Balad Ruz, Iraq. It seems so strange that whenever I talk about him now, I have to preface everything with that statement. He was 28 years old and my baby brother by two years. He had a wife and 16-month old son.

We grew up very close, partly because we had no extended family living near us. We walked to and from school together for 10 years. He always looked up to me and I helped guide him along. He was a wonderful, well-rounded man with a bright future.

Phillip was born on August 20, 1979 and grew up in Columbia, MO. Some of my happiest memories are of times we shared together. I remember us getting in trouble together. I remember the constant laughter and the many hugs. Phillip was as gentle as a kitten, but was also someone you would want to have your back in any situation. He was a challenge growing up, but he grew into a wonderful man and a dedicated soldier. He loved his job and the men he worked with.

Phillip was so bright and funny. He would have a whole room cracking up, usually because he would mess up a joke's punchline. I will never forget hearing "Hello? You're supposed to laugh now!" I will miss our phone calls. He never ended a conversation without saying, "I love you." I never wanted to be an only child and now I will never again be able to hug my big bear of a baby brother.

There is never a moment when I am not thinking about my brother. :( :candle

I love you and miss you, Philly-Pup!

Beth Anderson
Proud Sister of
SSG Phillip Anderson 1979 - 2008

[mittendrin]

:candle

for my mom who died of the side effects of chemo on April 26th, just after her 61st bday. I miss her so much.

[Enudely]

My father died on May 14th. He is always heavy in my heart. Here is a poem I wrote for him:

http://enudely.blogspot.com/2008/06/sob-fest.html

[honeydee]

Jesse, I really miss you. I thought about you really hard tonight and it was the first time I had cried in a few weeks. I wish you could have been happier in your life because you deserved it. I hope that your next life gives you all the peace and pleasure that you couldn't have in this one.

I love you buddy.

:candle

[MidnightCommando]

:candle

Sloan, I know an internet candle is not a fitting way to honor your memory but it's all I can do. I never knew you well but the few times we met you struck me as a sweet and intelligent young man. Your brother always spoke very highly of you. I hope you've found whatever peace that was eluding you on this earth. You will be missed by many.

RIP Sloan

[cathicog]

I am so glad this is here. I am lighting a :candle: for my brother,

Richard Raymond IV, May 5 1957, March 30, 2006

He was a recovered alcoholic, and had been sober for 20 years, and had a back injury at work. With no insurance, and no way to now earn a living, he lived with the pain until he could live no more. When the disablilty people called, my father answered the phone, "Sorry, you are too late. We are on the way to his funeral."

He never violated his sobriety, and we never knew how depressed he had become, because he absolutely never showed it. He was the life of the party, and always good for a George Carlin joke. His buddies Carol and Woody gave him a spot to lay him down. For that we will be ever grateful.

He was 17 months younger than me, and we were like twins. Where Rick was, there was I. We shared the Matchbox models, the car kits, and when he and his girlfriend Sally got married in 1980, we went to the wedding in New Jersey. Thier son Ricky is a fine young man now. Rick also had a daughter in West Virginia.

I know we will see him again, he is with Jesus, I just wish he was still here with us! The Sons of the Union Veterans, salute you!

Missing you mightily, Cathi & Carter, Jane, Dad, Dianne, Jimmy, Guynn, Libby,Ricky, Sally, and your nieces and nephews...

[Alexe]

Some people touch us in ways that compel us to tell everyone who will listen about how wonderful they were.

For me, I'd like to say a bit about my Nana (maternal great-grandma).
Mary Tricarico was 96 years old, and the center of my family. She played the piano at all our gatherings, getting us dancing or singing along to carols, teaching us to play duets with her, pinching our cheeks, the motherly and fierce Italian Nana personified. Even in her decline she was every bit the lady, and spent 3 hours plus EVERY night going over her rosaries and prayer cards for each and every member of our family.
I am SO grateful, that she met my then fiance and pinched him and told him he had 'a manly face' and that he should be good to me. We danced to her playing the piano one week before our wedding (which she could not attend) and she passed later that year, but my now husband caught a glimpse of what she meant to us and understands the loss.

My husband lost his grandma in the same year, and I was also blessed with being able to meet her once and see what a wonderful woman she was.
These are the people who make us who we are, and we are so grateful to them for their love and laughter that enriched our lives.

Now two years later my mom's sister Michele has passed from skin cancer, leaving behind a devasted hubby and two children. The foundations of my family are crumbling, everyone is becoming more and more distant, and it's heartbreaking to watch.

For all the family I have lost, please let me light a candle .. to match the ones in my heart.
Nana :candle Noni :candle Michelle :candle Oma :candle Nonno :candle Grandpa Moore :candle Grandpa Duck :candle
And for my 'furry babies'
Noodles :candle Twitch :candle Nibbles & Digger :candle Snowy & Simba :candle

[jess_paez]

our sweet baby girl joslyn marie lived for 7 minutes in my arms before flying away. She was born at 22 weeks due to preterm labor. The pain is still fresh, but we look forward to the day we can be together again. Visit me in my dreams little angel. :candle

[tumblingstar]

:candle for my mama, hope you found your peace, we're still here...

[ShadowLark]

For my friend Brendon, and his friends Milton and Kyle, who died too soon on February 11, 2001 in a car accident.
I hope my son Brendon can do you honor, "baby brother". I love you forever!

[elvishlucky]

A candle for my Dad :candle

You were taken from us two years ago today. We still miss you so very much.

[Dalene]

:candleFor my infant son, Baker, born and died on April 3, 2008. Sadly, he did not survive his journey into this world. He weighed 7 lbs 11 oz and was 19.5 inches long. He had my chin, my husband's long fingers and big feet, and my mother's nose. We were surprised by his dark hair. He brought me joy with every wiggle and squirm as he grew in my belly. I miss my sweet dear baby every day. Please watch over your parents, little guy.

Mommy loves you.

[eponabri]

Eight years ago today was the funeral of my 16 year old daughter, Courtney Marie. On September 14th, she went in to the bathroom to take a shower while getting ready for school. She never came out again. I found her floating face down in the bathtub. The autopsy couldn't determine the cause of death, but the death certificate said drowning. We knew that was true. We believe she had an undiagnosed heart problem, something I've since learned is more common in active teenagers than anyone realized.

Four hundred people attended her funeral. The next morning our extended family of 55 people followed us on to the ferry to take her Sequim be buried.
After we went back home to Lynnwood, there was a memorial service at a church were she attended a second youth group program. 300 people attended that service.

A year later, we had a celebration of life memorial at our new home in Sequim. We had a three day event of breaking bread, reading poems, reciting prayers, singing songs, lighting candles, and releasing balloons.

We are planning another event like it for 2010, but it will include others that we have lost over the years as well.

Courtney's death led me to The Compassionate Friends, whose advice and guidance help to acknowledge the pregnancies and miscarriages of my other four children, whose little lives I had ignored and blocked out of my memory.
They encouraged me to name my babies, and appreciate the gifts they brought to me in the short time they were in my life. But actually, they all are still in my life. Five of my six children are now angels, watching us as our guardian angels.

But that doesn't stop me from missing them terribly.

Cindi, wife of Tim (almost 30 years), angel Kehlie (mis 14 wks 1972), angel Patrick (mis 21 wks 1979), son Chris alive and well at age 27, angel Courtney (died age 16 2000), angel Tristin (mis 8 wks 1984), angel Trinity (mis 12 wks 1985):loss:*pangel:~bangel:candle

[Susannah M]

:candle Aunt Amie. You have been gone now for five years. Some days the pain is just as great as it was when I first heard you were gone. I miss you forever.

[Igraine]

:candle For my mother Jean. She left this earth on 9/17/08 :candle

I love you dearly and will miss talking with you on the phone, taking walks with you at the cabin and watching you with my children who adore you.

[lovemybubus]

For my brother, Bobby, I miss you, I love you and I promise that I am trying everyday to come to terms with your death.

For my mom, Barbara, I wish I could have been a little older when you died, I wish I had more memories of you. I suffered so much through my childhood and teenage years, moms are so important. For a long time I couldn't understand how you could just "leave" like that. I try everday to be a good mom in honor of you.

For my dad, Edward, to say I miss you seems strange after all you did to me and other children that you came in contact with. I do miss you (the sober non-abusive) you. I am trying to forgive you so that I can move on with my own life.

Searching for peace, searching for happiness, searching, always searching, that's me.

[honeydee]

I miss you Gram.:(

:candle

[hippiemommaof4]

I just want to say that I read here sometimes and many of your stories have touched me and hurt me to read because I feel so heartbroken for you. There are people who are thinking of you all in your time of need/loss even if we dont reply. I send you all my deepest condolences and love.

Also,I would like to remember my aunt kay who died of cancer, our neighbor and friend who died in iraq last yr and his grieving wife and small children who were left behind, my aunt debbie who commited suicide, my aunt billie who died last yr and my sister who was stillborn at birth.