Still in need of stories for Our Bodies, Ourselves

[RachelGS]

My chapter is being edited, and we'd like to include more anecdotes and stories from adoptive mamas. For those of you not familiar with the book, it includes many anonymous, first-person accounts of its subject matter. Anything from a sentence or two to a paragraph or two would be very much appreciated. I am looking for quotes on what it was like to find out you were getting a child, what it was like to choose a transracial adoption, when you began to really feel like a mother-- just about anything that can help translate the adoptive experience into more than just facts and guidelines. Your personal information will not be used in any way. This is just a paragraph in italics, set into the text with no identifying information. But it will mean a great deal to the readers of the book to have some personal stories included. Please help! PM me or email me at smook @ comcast . net (no spaces).

[wemberly]

Rachel, I'm so sorry i didn't get back to you after telling you I would do this. I'll put together something by tomorrow. Sorry, sickness struck hard--we haven't followed through with anything around here.

[RachelGS]

Thanks, Paige! If anyone else is willing, I'm still looking. It's harder than I expected to find people willing to share their experiences, but I think it's really important that we honor that women become mothers in more than just one way...

[HotMama]

I sent you an e-mail:p

[wemberly]

I was going to share this privately with Rachel, but there seems to be other interest, so here goes.
Rachel if this isn't what you're looking for, or need additional info, send me a PM
.
It's important to remember that every adoption journey is unique. It's so easy to say, "Oh, they couldn't make a baby, so they adopted" but really, every story is different.

Albert and I decided that adoption was the best way to become a family. I was taking greater numbers of prescription medications to control a chronic condition, and I couldn't imagine growing a baby in such a hostile environment, expecially after we added anti-seizure meds, so I had a tubal ligation. We had always planned to adopt (Albert is adopted) at least one of our children, so why not both?

It sounds so easy now, but it's a really difficult decision to end fertility when you look forward to parenting. Albert is a quiet soul, and inclined to believe that everything will work out eventually, but I'm a take-charge kind of girl, and I wanted to be able to move forward immediately with adoption planning, orchestrating etc. Albert really wasn't ready as quickly as I was, and it was probably the hardest part of the process. You know, when you make a baby, you get all the fun of practicing to make the baby. When you adopt, there are a lot of hoops to jump through, and Albert really hesitated before jumping through some of them.

It was 22 months between choosing an agency and finding Elliott in our arms--a long gestation, but worth every second when I consider the joy he's brought. All of the anxiety, the worry about money, the pain of a previous adoption loss, it all melted away when Elliott came to us. Amazingly, Albert felt the same way. Given his behavior during the process, I knew it might take a while before Albert felt a bond, and I was willing to wait for it to happen, but I really didn't have to. On the way home from meeting our boy, we made several stops to pick up things we needed. At the last store, I ran in and Albert stayed in the car with the very tired baby. I'd zip over to the window of the store every few minutes to check on them. Imagine my surprise when I found Albert in the back seat, snuggling with 6 week old Elliott, reading aloud the letter the Tender Care family sent. I've never felt closer to Albert than I did then, and as I cried big weepy tears in the middle of Once-Upon-A-Child, I knew exactly how amazing it is to become a family.

We're getting ready to do it all over again, an international adoption this time rather than domestic, but like last time, paperwork looms, financial instability is certain, and as always, Albert hesitates. This time though, I know for certain what I'm waiting for, and I'm confident that the effort put in will again melt away when I meet my new treasure.

[boycrazy]

Yummy story! I went with my aunt to get my cousin from China.Nothing like being in the room with 13 families as they "give birth" to their new families.

[Leatherette]

Rachael - I pm'd you a while back - hope you got it.

L.

[Kerri-Jean]

I would absolutely love to contribute to this book if there is still time! Let me know. We have wide-open adoptions and I breastfed our children, so my experiences may be a little unique, but I've kept journals through all our experiences if you're looking for a specific topic or anything.

Kerri

[RachelGS]

Thanks, everyone! I am so grateful for your time, your stories, and your interest in being a part of this book. :hug to all of you for being willing to share your lives with me and with all the women who will read the book.