Let me begin by saying I have no idea where to put this post. :o

Here's my story... I have a 12 yr old ds who helps with anything I ask. He unloads the dishwasher almost daily and has been doing it for months. I have my 9 yr old dd do little chores like sweeping. She knows how to rinse off the dishes and load the dishwasher but I don't make her.

Fast forward, we recently moved into a townhome where the washer & dryer are downstairs and since I'm pregnant I've had them both carry laundry up and down the stairs along with their normal stuff.

FF again, I'm 29 weeks preg. and have the flu... I ask DD to load the dishwasher this afternoon, she spends 2 hrs in the kitchen, and did a really horrible job, she even put glasses right side up; flooded the cabinets on both sides of the sink and wet the floor. She fussed at me for ages it seems and just threw a fit.

I had all three of my kids working on something yet she was the only one giving me a hard time. Is it too much to ask them to help in this situation? I feel like hell and have been doing everything just to keep the house from getting out of control. Today I felt I really needed the help. :(

((Hugs)) I hope you are feeling better.

Of course it isn't too much to ask for help, especially with chores that are familiar. You don't say whether she normally helps without a fuss. If so, it sounds like something was troubling her. Was she feeling under the weather too? Bad day with friends? Trouble with school work? How does she feel about your pregnancy?

If you have changed neighbourhoods as well as homes, she is probably dealing with a little emotional upheaval. Then there's the fact that she is heading into puberty.

Perhaps if things have calmed down today and you are up to it, you can take her aside for a cup of cocoa and a little heart-to-heart. Let her know how much you appreciate everyone helping out, and invite her to let you know what's going on with her.

Best of luck.

I don't think it's too much to ask. But I do know that when I'm stressed out and need extra help, I'm often crabby which in turn makes my kids crabby. The stress just seems to spread throughout the house.

It sounds like it was an off day for everyone.

You have three kids, but you only mention the ages of two of them. Was the dishwasher the youngest? Or only girl? Pregnancy can be stressful on siblings for a number of reasons.

Chores always seem to turn into a power struggle for us. My oldest seems more interested in what his sister is doing or not doing than in doing his chores. He even tries to step in and tell her what to do, or that she's not doing a good enough job! Drives me bonkers. He always wants to clean, which is good, but he never spends the time actually cleaning, because he becomes more focused on his sister. DD deals with this by shutting down and not doing any work at all. She'll ignore him or me, and make a bigger mess when she should be cleaning.

I wanted to post a little update on this thread.

My flu turned into pheumona and we are finally all getting better. I guess we were both having an off day as she has done her chores since without any issues. She's even volunteered to do extra.

I know the move has been rough on her, we've been dealing with this since January. She's spoken with counsellor's and such. As far as I can tell, she's ecstatic at the thought of having a new baby in the house. She's even helped shop for him.

As far as the chores go, I need to get a handle on things and be more organized. My oldest son is super organized, and she's a "fly by the seat of your pants" type of person. My youngest son who's 6 does age appropriate chores. I am working on a daily checklist that they need to have done each day. Picking up their own dirty clothes, putting up their own clean ones, etc. I grew up doing an extreme amount of chores and do not want to do to them what my step mom did to me however I DO expect a 12, 9, and 6 yr old to pick up after themselves.

My two kids do chores. My daughter does them as I ask. My son needs a list or a reminder of some kind. But everyone in my house contributes to its care. Even their breadwinning dad can be seen doing the dishes quite often.

On your list should be wiping out the bathroom sinks and swishing the john with the toilet brush a couple of times a week. If you wipe and scrub well you don't get yucky build-up.

I wanted to post a little update on this thread.

My flu turned into pheumona and we are finally all getting better. I guess we were both having an off day as she has done her chores since without any issues. She's even volunteered to do extra.

I know the move has been rough on her, we've been dealing with this since January. She's spoken with counsellor's and such. As far as I can tell, she's ecstatic at the thought of having a new baby in the house. She's even helped shop for him.

As far as the chores go, I need to get a handle on things and be more organized. My oldest son is super organized, and she's a "fly by the seat of your pants" type of person. My youngest son who's 6 does age appropriate chores. I am working on a daily checklist that they need to have done each day. Picking up their own dirty clothes, putting up their own clean ones, etc. I grew up doing an extreme amount of chores and do not want to do to them what my step mom did to me however I DO expect a 12, 9, and 6 yr old to pick up after themselves.

I missed your update. I'm glad you're recovering. Your list of responsibilities seems reasonable. Cleaning bathrooms is another one that I ask my 16 and 13 y.o. to do. I think one of the toughest things is getting kids to SEE what needs to be done around the house. They're often great at doing what's asked. I'm trying to get them to look around and identify things they can do without being asked first. It's a learning curve! Good luck with it!