Ok I'm starting to get a bit irked here, and as both kids are early in their school year I'm posting to see if there is a certain protocol that I need to follow or that I'm missing here.

This has happened now with each child, different classes, different teachers. They haven't felt great at home, but well enough to give it a try and go to school (no fever, etc. signs to stay home, just not really feeling 100% - they made the choice to go to school). We told them if they got to feeling worse then let their teacher know and go to the nurse to have them call us. The teachers refuse to send them to the nurse. With DD we even told the teacher that she hadn't acted like she was feeling just right, and might need to go to the nurse or come home early.

I understand that many kids try to get to the nurse to get out of school, and I see the concern on that, but honestly my kids LOVE school and WANT to be there - and if they don't feel well then I expect when they ask to go to the nurse they won't be told "I'm pretty sure you're ok" followed by "Eh, you'll be fine" when they ask again. If they don't complain of being ill regularly (they don't) then shouldn't their complaints at least be addressed in a serious manner? What is the recommended way of addressing this?

I know the school nurse at my school has times set aside to see just generally not feeling well but non-emergency children -- specifically, the first hour or two of the day is set aside for screenings, since if kids were sick they would've stayed home, and then another period of time later in the day to complete paperwork. -- things that need to be done when a period of time is dedicated to them. Perhaps the children just asked at a time the nurse was unavailable?

Here any child that is ill is seen by the school nurse at any time during the day. I would have a discussion with the kids teacher asap and consider talking with the principle and nurse as well. Let the teacher know at least that you are not happy with how the situation was handled and hope that in the future it dosnt happen again.

I know the school nurse at my school has times set aside to see just generally not feeling well but non-emergency children -- specifically, the first hour or two of the day is set aside for screenings, since if kids were sick they would've stayed home, and then another period of time later in the day to complete paperwork. -- things that need to be done when a period of time is dedicated to them. Perhaps the children just asked at a time the nurse was unavailable?

That would bother me.

I would think that would lead to far more instances of vomiting in the classroom, and potentially spreading more germs :shrug: It's like telling a 2 yr old 'nope you can't go pee yet, the bathrooms are being cleaned you'll have to hold it"

What you get then is a puddle of pee. I would probably call the school and ask why, then keep them home tomorrow.

My mom always taught me and my brother that if a teacher was denying us permission to leave for a valid reason, we should walk out and she would deal with the fallout for us. (Neither one of us ever had to put this plan into action, but it was comforting to know in advance that it was an option.)

This would include being denied permission to go to the bathroom or to go home if we weren't feeling well. As a child I NEVER ran fevers; my body just didn't deal with illness that way. Having a fever was the major criterion for being sent home from elementary school. My mom always said that if I was feeling lousy and the teacher wouldn't let me see the nurse, I should walk out and go. If the nurse wouldn't call my mom, I should call from the pay phone in the hallway and my mom would come to the school, pick me up, and deal with the teacher and nurse and principal and whomever else was involved.

I'd definitely talk to your kids about their right to see the nurse or go home if necessary, and I'd also talk to the teachers and tell them you've given your kids permission to walk out of their classes if their medical status is being ignored. Stress that you are not advocating disrespect and you don't expect your kids to ever actually have to do that, but it is a last resort if they aren't being listened to, and you will back them up.

I'd think that with the swine flu mania, it would be just the opposite--I think at DD's school they are sending kids home at the drop of a hat!

You might want to try sending a note in with your child telling the teacher that they aren't feeling 100% and if they need to call you they can.

I would totally tell the teacher to call me or have my child call (DD has a few times from the classroom phone, like to tell me picture money was due, etc.)

I know very recently the nurse made an announcement on the intercom not to send any kids to her office at that time b/c it was filled with students who had flu-like symptoms - but other than that, I would find it odd to be denied getting checked out if they complained about not feeling well. Isn't that WHY they have a school nurse?!

Different districts have different policies, so I would call and ask what your school's policies are (if any) for nurse referrals. This teacher may just be following orders from the principal - if it's anything like my school. Heaven forbid if a teacher should send a kid down with the description of "not feeling well." We've been told to look for specific things in order to be able to send. With all that said...I think it's ridiculous! When I've taught at other schools I've always sent kids that were not feeling well...the nurse is the specialist in this area and should make that decision about what to do not the teacher.

As a child I NEVER ran fevers; my body just didn't deal with illness that way. Having a fever was the major criterion for being sent home from elementary school.

That was me and that's ds as well. DD, well if she has a low fever you want to dose her immediately as she has a tendency to spike fast and go into seizures! I remember the frustration as a child too - I'd be miserable, but I wasn't puking or burning up so I must be ok and faking it to go home. Didn't help that my normal body temp was somewhere in the 97.x range either!

Thanks everyone. Our oldest is only in 1st grade and I wasn't sure if I was expecting too much or something. It was borderline today if we'd let DS go in but he *seemed* to be ok, he just had a busy weekend outside. We pulled up to school and they had the bounce houses out for the kids for recess, so he was all about going. I guess he was saying he didn't feel well before pm recess - I'd think that was a sure sign he wasn't faking with that kind of incentive to stay!

My mom always said that if I was feeling lousy and the teacher wouldn't let me see the nurse, I should walk out and go. If the nurse wouldn't call my mom, I should call from the pay phone in the hallway and my mom would come to the school, pick me up, and deal with the teacher and nurse and principal and whomever else was involved.

LaLaLaLa, I love your mom!!

On the days when I've taken ds or dd to school when I wasn't sure if they were 100% I either write a note for the teacher with my phone & email clearly listed asking to be called if there is any question about their health, or I see the teacher face to face and say the same thing while handing her the note with my contact info. This has worked in our small school settings.

I would definitely be upset if I felt like the teacher was ignoring or being dismissive of my child, and I would want to find out how my child (and I) could communicate more effectively with the teacher.

I work at the school district, and am the first back up the the FASA. I have never heard teachers not allowing students to go to the health office if they are asked. I do know we have a lot of teachers who will send kids up constantly for things they could handle in the classroom, such as needing a bandaid.

I would contact the teachers and also the administration of the school. Address your concerns to both and let them know that you would like notification immediately if your students present to the health office ill. If you don't feel that you will be taken seriously, go the next step and go to the district supervisors.

With the flu and cold season on us it needs to be taken seriously!

Good luck to you and I hope your LO's get better treatment from the health office.

I have not read the responses, so I don't know if I'm covering common ground.

The school where I have worked the nurses were there only part time, and were shared with another school. They made it clear at the start of every year that they deal with chronic conditions, emergencies, and the legal side of school nursing. They're not really there to check fevers, or examine the ankle you sprained last night and is hurting now.

So my policy as a teacher was if a kid came to me and said she/he didn't feel well, I asked what they needed. A drink? Sympathy? To call home? If they wanted to call home I let them. It's mom's choice to come get them or not, and if calling home became a problem, then mom and I talked about it and worked out a plan.

I think this is a parent/child/teacher problem. It might have nothing to do with the school nurse.

This seems weird to me. When I was teaching there were kids who would constantly ask to go to the nurse (we're talking everyday they would ask even though they knew their parents had said to keep them in class) and unless they looked sick they didn't go. However when I had kids who never asked to go ask I would let them go asap. I would be so worried about them I'd make someone else walk down with them.

That's just the opposite of our school. Not only do kids easily get out of class for saying they don't feel well, the teacher sends kids who look pale to the nurses office! We've had a couple of confirmed cases of H1N1 and they are trying to keep it from spreading.

Our school has a fulltime nurse and only about 210 students, so we have more nurse per student than most schools.

I have to say that as a teacher the fact that you sent a child you knew was sick to school to infect the rest of us, and then complained that they didn't get special attention bothers me.

I have to say that as a teacher the fact that you sent a child you knew was sick to school to infect the rest of us, and then complained that they didn't get special attention bothers me.

At NO POINT did I ever indicate I did any such thing! I said he wasn't feeling 100%, I didn't really see a need to go into detailed specifics about my son's specific medical situations.

We spent the weekend up at the forrest with their grandpa, and they spent the entire day Saturday outside playing in the forrest in 45 degree weather. They had coats, etc., but it's still allergy season and DS was coughing from that while we were up there. Sunday he was very tired (probably from all the fresh air and allergies - which are NOT an infectious, contagious condition!) and lazed around all day. He is very prone to allergy induced bronchitis - again NOT contagious, so we watch him very closely. Monday he was still tired, but thought he was up for school. Again, he had NO FEVER, an NO sign of actual illness, he just seemed run down and said he still didn't feel "great". These can be precurser signs of bronchitis coming on, even though the cough was not anything like a bronchitis cough - we've also seen that turn swiftly. We agreed to let him go to school to see if he got feeling better, but if he was starting to feel worse we told him to go to the nurse and we'd come get him. At no time did we risk the health of anyone else. And I really have to wonder why wanting a child who didn't feel well to be able to see the nurse is considered "special attention"? It concerns me that from a teacher's perspective you would consider a child who felt unwell to be seeking some kind of advantage simply because their parents weren't sure, considering a lack of identifiable symptoms, if the child were up to school that day. Wow. But that does give me a better perspective of what we may be dealing with when we speak to the teachers during conferences next week.

I have to say that as a teacher the fact that you sent a child you knew was sick to school to infect the rest of us, and then complained that they didn't get special attention bothers me.

Hmmm....this is particularly problematic with the focus on attendance in school these days. As a parent, you aren't really encouraged to make the call that they are too sick to attend school without a doctor's visit and a note to back you up. What would you do in a situation where your kid seems a little tired and not quite their bouncy self but no symptoms of illness? If you keep them home everytime, you get into trouble about attendance. I don't know about you but telling the difference between the beginnings of a cold and ragweed allergies is difficult in myself much less in a child.

In fact at our school's open house they really stressed than unless there was fever or puking they expected kids to be there. (High school not elementary) I don't agree with this, but it is the reality in many places. Of course now this school has nearly 25% of its student body out of school with H1N1 either confirmed or suspected. :-(

I have to say that as a teacher the fact that you sent a child you knew was sick to school to infect the rest of us, and then complained that they didn't get special attention bothers me.

Um, how is wanting your child to be able to see the nurse when sick asking for special attention? I'm also a teacher, and it's not unusual for kids to be a little droopy but still come to school because 1. it's not clear in the morning if they're really sick or if it's just a cold or fatigue or 2. their parents have to work and can only stay home so often with a sick child, so they need to save those days for when their child is really sick and not kind of looking a bit run down. I can't imagine why a child starting to feel worse at school would elicit the above reaction! After all, as teachers, we're supposed to help kids, and in that role, I see part of my job as to help kids who are feeling sick and to treat them with compassion.

I have to say that as a teacher the fact that you sent a child you knew was sick to school to infect the rest of us, and then complained that they didn't get special attention bothers me.

So you think that every time a child doesn't feel 100% they should stay home? This child wasn't running a fever or showing obvious signs of illness.

I've got one who is not a morning person, despite school starting before 8am every morning. If I kept her home every time she wasn't ready to spring out of bed and run a marathon, the child would never leave the house.

I always find this to be a tough call. There are times when I've called in work myself and kept a child home and it turns out she's been just fine. There have been one or two occasions when I've sent her in because there are no obvious symptoms and it turns out that she's coming down with something. We don't all have accurate crystal balls.

If it were one of my kids, I would have just kept them home to begin with. I can tell when they're truly not feeling 100% and sometimes just a day of rest, chicken soup and extra snuggling is enough to bounce back.

I don't think that any schools are focusing on attendance this year because of H1N1. Our school has dropped the "perfect attendance award" for this year so parents and children understand that staying home when you're not feeling well is okay (and expected!).

this is timely for me, as dd just got sent home today, same situation. It was REALLY hard to wake her up this mirning, but she had been up late yesterday because grandma is visiting..she played hard! I actually checked her for a fever, nope, fine. She had a tiny bit of runny nose, but she gets that 80% of the time from allergies. We get ready and drive to school (15 minute drive) and when we are 1 block from the school, she says "I dont think i should go to school today, my tummy hurts"
But - she seemed fine. And she had been asking to stay home so she could have more time to play with gramma. No fever. No cough. (and she usually DOEs run fevers and cough when sick).
So i told her to try to go to school, and to tell her teacher if she still felt sick. I went to work. 1.5 hours later, dh came up to my work to switch cars with me (he had been at home today, but had no carseats in his car) so he could go get her. Hr upset tummy had continued, and apparently was a sign of diarrhea that started at school.
i had no clue. She didn't have any diarrhea in the morning, she just went pee. No fever, no cough ,and a runny nose she has 80% of all the time.

I made the wrong call. It happens.
I would defniitely at least talk to the teacher about it. Probably mention what you said - that you recognize the difficulty because some kids will try to take advantage, but you children have no history of crying wolf, and need to be takn seriously in these instances.

I'm a teacher, and it is hard to judge when a kid REALLY needs the nurse sometimes. When in doubt, I usually send them, but most of the time if a kid asks to see the nurse it isn't really needed.

Momily, I think your comment was a little harsh. Of course those of us who work with so many kids worry about the germs they spread, but that's part of our job. So we wash our hands frequently, make sure we eat and sleep well, and hope for the best. Hopefully, our students and their families are doing the same.

When I hear someone say, "My kid wasn't 100 percent," I take it to mean that the kid isn't 100 percent of their usual *school-going* self. Everyone has a bad day, but if you notice something off enough that you half-expect them to come home or be able to come home immediately just in case, then I think that it's probably wise to keep them home. Unless you are pretty sure the cause is not illness, but a late night, very upsetting event, ect.

If you know something is off, and you suspect illness, and we all know that generally people are contagious especially right before they show major signs of illness, I guess I don't understand why if you had the option you would not keep them home.

And yeah, it's part of the teacher's job to wash hands, ect...but the teacher and the ill student are not the only two people in the classroom.

I too would be annoyed if my child was really ill and was denied the nurse because the teacher thought they were faking. But I would also understand other families' annoyance that even though I knew something was up, I still sent my kid to school anyway at potentially their most contagious point. So when it comes to annoyance, I think there's plenty to go around.

The reality is though that many times people really don't have a choice, especially if they get no sick time or very limited amounts of it, where they cannot stay home just to be safest for everyone's benefit. Sometimes there just are no easy options.

Sending a note to the teacher or speaking directly with her is the best suggestion I would give in this situation.

As a school nurse, I frequently tell my ill students that are afebrile or that don't look ill that sometimes you have to try to make it thru the day when you are not feeling your best.

I would speak to the teacher about this specific situation.

Are you sure there is a nurse? In my Mom's district, there's one nurse for the ENTIRE district; she's not at any given school very often.

Our school district right now is much more worried about spread of illness, and if you are sick, STAY HOME, who cares about absences. We have had over 100 kids out daily for the past two weeks, in a school of 600 students. Most kids are missing a complete week at a time. And if they come back and aren't 100%, they are sent back home. My son was out sick early last week, went back thursday, with no fever, no lingering illness and somehow spiked a fever within 10 minutes of being at school. It was 915 when I went back to get him, they start at 850.

If you know something is off, and you suspect illness, and we all know that generally people are contagious especially right before they show major signs of illness, I guess I don't understand why if you had the option you would not keep them home.


Ok since this seems to be getting missed alot, I'm going to say it again. I'm referring to NON-CONTAGIOUS illnesses, such as allergies, allergy-induced conditions, etc. NOT SOMETHING THAT IS CONTAGIOUS, but that still the child may not feel great with. If *I* stayed home every day I didn't feel 100% I can honestly say I would go to work for less than a month each year; welcome to the world of allergies. DS gets allergy induced bronchitis. He is NOT CONTAGIOUS during any time of that illness. Certainly if one of my children showed signs of a *contagious* illness I would not be sending them to school, and in fact that's one of the things that annoys the heck out of me when people do.


We spoke with the kindy teacher about her personal policy. She said that if the child doesn't present any obvious symptoms like fever, vomiting, etc., she'll have them wait for about 20 min. She'll either ask again or if they're playing normally at that point she'll see if they ask again. If after 20 min they still want to go, she generally sends them. Not perfect but I'm ok with that (although she was very interested to know DD can spike a high fever and go into seizures at the drop of a hat if she does actually get sick!). DS's teacher we didn't get a chance to address it with as there were other concerns in an already too-short conference. We have sent notes, spoken directly with the teachers, etc. to no avail. I guess if we have any concerns in the future we'll either keep them home if possible (and risk "intervention" for missing classes) or we'll visit midway and see if they need to leave. This is one thing I didn't really think I'd have to worry about with public school!