We've lost another

[shannon0218]

Well, on wednesday we lost another baby. I was so confident with this one. We saw a heartbeat at 6 weeks and they said everything looked great. I was told the rate of m/c dropped dramatically after heartbeat has been documented. Needless to say way too many people know about this pregnancy and now need to be told it is gone.
We have an absolutely wonderful OB who has simply impressed me to no end during this terrible time. She has told me she will see me in 4 weeks and will then start running a bunch of tests to figure out why I keep loosing these babes. Does anyone know what kinds of test they usually begin with?? Somehow I'm scared to have the tests done and find out something is wrong. Of course I'm petrified of loosing another baby so I suppose it's the lesser of two evils.
I just want some further information to go in armed with.
My cycles are completely regular and I don't seem to have any trouble getting pregnant.

[DaryLLL]

Just wanted to say, so sorry for your loss and repeated losses! :hugs

[Missgrl]

{{{{{hugs}}}}}}
I'm sorry and sending you a giant hug:hug

[bonbon mama]

I am so sorry to hear about your losses. I've lost three, myself. There are a lot of good websites with information on possible causes. I did a lot of research and came armed to my appointments with a list of possibles and I made sure that the OB explained why each one could not be. If I wasn't convinced I made sure that she ordered the tests for that one. I actually found a cause and a treatment and had a successful pregnancy last year. Some answers are out there, if it is important to your continued mental health (as it was for me) then keep searching and making exhaustive lists. Good luck and take indulgent care of yourself. If you want to only eat croissants and strawberries for a week, then do it.

[applejuice]

:hug to you

I am so sorry about your losses.

In answer to your question, I do not know what kind of tests they do but perhaps you should ask them...

I think they may want to check your cervix for competency...they may stitch it up next time.

Your hormone levels could be checked also, but that should have been done when you were pregnant.

[shannon0218]

Thanks for your replies, my hormone levels were checked at least weekly this pregnancy. I don' t believe it could be my cervix, it hadn't opened even a little bit despite the fact that infection was already setting in.
I trust this doc will not "refuse" to run anything. She actually was the one who told me she would be running every test available to get to the bottom of things. I guess I'm wondering, what tests those are?? Are most of these tests non-invasive? and what do they tell us?
Had another long cry tonight, telling dh I just don't trust my body not to let us down again. Cramping and bleeding are back--I knew it had been too easy after the d&c:crying

[bonbon mama]

i believe they would start with most non-invasive and with anything indicated with family history.

My problems were found through bloodwork: antiphospholipid (Hughes') syndrome.

Get in bed or to the couch and treat yourself royally. Hire someone for once to clean up and get good takeout for the next week.

[shannon0218]

Thanks Otbonmom
I just did some reading on that and I actually do have Rheumatoid arthritis, and have suffered a blood clot after surgery. I wonder why they don't test women with autoimmune disorders for this before they start trying--or at least after they loose one! I feel so terrible though because it says part of treatment is prednisone and I was desparately avoiding taking my pred and when I did I only took 2.5 mgs as I was worried about it's affects on the baby. Meanwhile I had to worry about my body's affects on the baby.
Cried most of the night but seem a little better this morning--of course it's been a few days so everyone figures I shoule be fine by now:angry

[mamabutterfly]

(((((((( shannon ))))))))

We don't figure you should be fine by now! :hug :( :crying

I am so sorry for your loss.

[zipworth]

So, so, sorry to hear about the loss of your baby:( .

Natalie

[SamuraiEarthMama]

take your time, shannon! we know that each loss has its own run of grief and healing... this beloved baby was so special to you, and you will mourn its passing just exactly the way you need to!

good luck tracking things down. it sounds like you have a wonderful doctor who will really go to bat for you.

remember that m/c sometimes just doesn't have a reason. up to 20% of all pregnancies will end in m/c, and horrible as it might be, you may have just been unlucky over and over. i'm so sorry this has happened to you!

i hope you have good support IRL, and can really take care of yourself. please keep taking your vitamins, eat well, rest when you need to, and drink lots of water, and remember that you are going through the same hormonal changes as a postpartum mom... it's a challenge no matter how well things go, and when they go bad, it's infinitely worse.

hang in there! it WILL get better, i promise. you won't ever forget this baby, but the pain will become less raw and sharp as time goes by.

hugs,

katje

[bonbon mama]

I didn't need to take steroids; just heparin injections and baby aspirin.

Feel free to pm me...

[iris0110]

First I wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss. Then I wanted to ask you a question. You mentioned that your cervix hadn't opened even though an infection had set in. What kind of infection was it? I lost my daughter to an infection called Chorioamnionitis it is an infection of the amniotic fluid which can also affect the umbilical cord, placenta and endometrium lining. If this is the type of infection you had then it was probably responsible for your loss. I just thought I would mention it, though I may be way off.

Take care of yourself and good luck finding the cause.

[Jacque Savageau]

shannon, so sorry you're going through this.

I too have RA along with Lupus. What we found worked for me (to keep from miscarring) was progesterone supositories untill the 4th or 5th month. I also did the baby asprin and heprin injections.

Immune disorders can be so hard to deal with. It's difficult to detect and many times it goes into remission during pregnancy and into breastfeeding. You just don't know until you get there. Unfortunately, there's not much else a doctor can do but watch and wait.

There is hope thought, many women here have gone on to have a healthy pregnancy after repeated loss (myself included). Is your RA active right now? If you can get it into a remission state before conceiving you'll find you're more comfortable during the pregnancy.

I'l be thinking about you.

[shannon0218]

Actually I went into remission almost as soon as I concieved. The problem is I am completely controlled on Methortrexate, but obviously can't take then during or leading up to pregnancy. Prednisone keeps me under control but not perfect. To be honest, I can deal with the pain. I saw my ob today and she is going to start running tests next week and has also started the referral process to a fertility clinic. I'm hoping for the best.
Thanks for all your support.
Shannon

[Jacque Savageau]

shannon0218, do you have troubles conceiving as well? I had a really hard time conceiving.

I've heard a lot about Methortrexate and may look into it further. I've used Vioxx and it tore my stomach to SHREADS! While pregnant I was given a steroid shot 2x when I couldn't walk. Prednesone works for me too - but again, I don't like the side effects.

You may want to talk to your OB about seeing a high risk specialist if you don't have trouble conceiving. I got really good results seeing one.

Thinking of you.

[shannon0218]

Nope no trouble getting pregnant--in fact, 3x in 6 mos.
Methotrexate controls me well, but it is an abortant and therefore you have to be off it for 4 months before ttc. I have now been off for almost a year. I take Celebrex along with the Methotrexate back when I was not trying to get pregnant, it worked well and frankly I didn't need much of it--however, it's action is similar to vioxx, therefore it may cause you problems as well. Do you take a magnesium supplement?? That brought about some great changes in me, actually was able to cut my meds in half (mag only, not a mag/calcium combo) My rhuematoligist's plan was only to give steroid inj into the joint while preg and keep the pred dose down to 2.5 mgs each day (which is minimal)
I am being referred to a fertility clinic with a high risk ob in it. I do believe our plan to wait 4 mos before starting again is a good one (physically speaking) and hope is that the d&c now will have everything looking perfect for that little egg in June.
I just have to keep hoping, but honestly, if we have another loss, I don't know that I will be able to do this again. KWIM?

[hvl25]

:hugs

[Zannalyn]

So sorry to hear about your loss, Shannon.

Don't let anyone rush you with your grieving. The heart does things in its own time.

Jezanna

[sun-shine01]

Just wanted to give you a big hug. So sorry for your losses.

[Grantsmommy]

So sorry for your loss! I understand what you are going through and feeling. After my first mc, I didn't think it could happen again (the first time was just a fluke, right?). When I miscarried again, I was devasted! I cried every day for weeks, gained 10 lbs in 2 months from emotional eating, was grumpy to my family, and still occasionally "lose it" over those babies.

Take time for yourself. I'm just now to the point emotionally that I'm ready to try again. Of course, we were just exposed to chicken pox, so we'll have to wait another month! This past year was hard, but you'll see. You have a strength inside you that you'll draw on.

You may want to honor your babies in a special way. I have a mother's bracelet with two heart charms representing the two angels that aren't with us. I often catch myself holding onto those charms.

Good luck to you. I hope you find peace and continue to allow yourself to grieve in whatever way you need to.
Dawn

[butternut]

How are you doing Shannon?:hug
I had not seen this thread so I sent you a little note just so you know I am thinking about you.
What have you found out from the tests? I hope you are having a lot of time to rest and think and that you are getting the kind of support you want and need from your doctor. I hope you get some answers as well.

[shannon0218]

Hi everyone, and hi Butternut--I will go check my pm's after this. We got the phone call yesterday morning for an appt at a very well thought of fertility clinic where they have a few high risk OB's. I was amazed because firstly I had heard horror stories about it taking a year to even get in, then my OB said she had asked that I be put as a priority, explaining that the people that it takes a year to get in are people like she had to refer a couple days before--21 year old, trying for 8 mos and insisted on a referral, the girl wasn't even charting or doing anything other than frequent sex but insisted, my doc figured it'd take a year for them to get around to seeing her--by then she'd actually count as a fertility case or already be pregnant.
Anyway, they are actually seeing us on Tuesday morning!!! My ob made another call exlplaining that my arthritis was really bad and we needed to make some desicions soon as to whether we are going to just let me stay in pain and start trying or if I'm going back on the medication that works for me which is Methortrexate, which will mean back on the pill and trying would be put off for a year--this is not actually an option for me, but I think she used to to push me into the clinic quickly:LOL
It came at just the right time, I think I was close to a nervous breakdown on Friday night, I came home to some of the worst dogs we've ever boarded and they were all here at once and all barking non stop! Getting that appt is what it took for me to start eating properly and stop drinking--beer and coffee! I just feel like there is suddenly some light at the end of this tunnel.
Thanks to all of you--there is NO way I'd have been able to get through any of my losses without you ladies:crying

[SamuraiEarthMama]

oh, shannon! what great news... and what a great doc you have, being an advocate for you like that. i'll be looking forward to hearing what they tell you on tuesday... well, more likely it will take longer than that to get some concrete answers, but still! we're rooting for you!

katje

[butternut]

Good to hear from you! That is great Shannon, to have such a good doctor and like Katje says, such an advocate for you. That is what you need right now (at least part of it!). I think it helps tremendously to have some concrete steps being taken.
Tangent: I know what you mean about the coffee and beer--I have been such a heavy coffee drinker since my m/c last month and tonight I had to tell myself NOT to have a glass of wine...it has just been too easy to let myself have one way more often than I normally would. I actually bought an espresso maker yesterday and was drinking espresso at 10 pm last night.
I hope that you get things going right in your direction on Tuesday. We will be rooting for you. Keep us posted.

[Ellie'sMom]

Hi Shannon. I just found this thread, and wanted to send you some ((((hugs)))). How did your appointment go yesterday?

[Abylite]

I'm so sorry about your loss Shannon. I've also lost two babies and we are just now TTC again.

I had lots of tests after my 2nd m/c. All chromosomes, immune and blood clotting tests came back normal. My hormone levels seem just fine.

The only thing that makes me feel a little better is knowing that I am not alone out "there". These boards have helped my when things were so new.

If you feel like talking...please feel free to e-mail me.

Mlally@highstream.net.

Love to you and your DH