Been reading, decided to post

[Tinkymamma]

I've been a lurker of the PPD forum for about 2 weeks now.
How many times have this been heard?:
"I thought I was the only one who felt like that!"
Not having many mom's around me to compare notes with, I've been suffering in silence, just hoping it would *go away* or something.
I realize now that it won't.
My DS is 6 months old (as of next Wednesday) and since he was born I just haven't been HAPPY. I put on a good mask for the world and god knows I love my baby to death...but things don't make me smile anymore, I always feel like a bad mom and I feel guilty almost 24/7. I had a huge guilt complex BEFORE I got pregnant, but now it's even worse.
I don't want to go on meds, b/c we're trying for #2 in June...but at times I feel like I'm making a foolish decision. I took that PPD internet test and it said "Mild-moderate" so, at least it's not severe, right?
*sigh*
I'm just glad I have somewhere to come to when I feel like I'm the only one in the world feeling like this.

[Turtle Woman]

I would love to chat with you about this. Not sure how to help or what to say though. I had my first baby at 19 and had PPD. I don't know how bad it was but it felt horrible. It is really scary and a hopeless feeling. I got pregnant again when DD1 was 6 months old. It was not planned. This made everything worse. I would definately advise to wait to TTC and enjoy your first baby. It is very difficult having two so young. I was very isolated and the more I isolated myself the worse things got. The more I reached out to be with others especially young moms and talked the better I felt. I tried writing and I am very thankful for what I have from that time. I wish I had wrote more. One friend I made during this time is still my best friend. It took effort and time to build trust and willingness to be vulnerable but it was so worth it.

I have read a lot of books about motherhood in different cultures. We are a society that does not support motherhood and I believe this is the biggest reason for PPD. It just isn't right. Please reach out and try to surround yourself with women who will support you and help you through this.

Lets talk more.

[Tinkymamma]

My e-mail addy is Tinkymamma@aol.com if you'd like to e-mail me.

I *LOVE* being a mom. It's one of those "I finally found my niche" things.
My unhappiness has to do w/other aspects of my life. Bleh.

We're TTC-ing again so soon b/c we'd like to have all our kids before I'm 22-24 and it took a year to get pregnant with DS...so we don't know how long it's going to take with the next one(s).

Thanks for replying so quickly. :)