abused/traumatized infants

[sharqi]

i was wondering if anyone had information or personal experience with abused/traumatized infants. our daughter came to us from the child welfare authorities as an infant. fortunately, we were able to adopt her. she seems fine now (she is 3 yo). but, we feel that it seems likely these issues will resurface at some point. we have always been honest with her about her origins. she knows she's adopted, but i'm sure she doesn't really know what that means. she knows she had broken limbs, but i don't think she knows what that means either. not that we dwell on it, but i try to answer her questions honestly--or at least optimistically honest, you know?

so, can anyone point me in a direction so i can learn more? or share an experience?

[EFmom]

Our girls were adopted from China. While they both received excellent care in the social welfare institutions and foster family who cared for them, they were both abandoned by their parents for reasons we will never know for certain, but could speculate about. We have no information at all about their birth families. I know what you mean about being optimistically honest!

Mine are now 6 and 3. The six year old is starting to process the idea that she was abandoned and obviously, there's going to be a lot of hurt to deal with. The three year old has no concept of what it means to be adopted.

With both of them, we've been honest with them from the beginning about their life stories. But they will understand in stages. I think the key thing is trying to keep lines of communication open. My older daughter tends to not want to discuss feelings very much, so sometimes I will work adoption themes into discussions to get her talking.

You might want to check out Tapestry Books http://www.tapestrybooks.com/ They have lots of books for both children and adults and you might find something good there. I've heard that Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow by Gregory C. Keck, and Regina M. Kupecky is good, but I've never seen it myself.