EllasMama
03-03-2004, 12:21 PM
I finally feel like I can confidently say that I am doing so much better! There are still hard days, but I know what causes them to be difficult (lack of sleep, usually) and how to remedy them. I know they are temporary and don't get bogged down in despair like I used to.
Shortly before I crashed, I had been thinking how I wanted to become a childbirth educator. But life had a little 18-month detour through yuck planned. Two days ago I mailed in my registration form to take the Birthing From Within mentor training in a few weeks. There have also been many other positive things that have come to pass.
I can't believe I finally feel confident enough to move forward like this. It took 14 months of therapy and vitamins and change, and 6 months of Lexapro to get to this point. Now I feel like me again. Actually, and here's the amazing part, I feel like I am MORE than I used to be, having gone through this unexpected and painful journey. I learned so much and am still learning. You can't take things for granted, and sometimes you have to work much harder than you thought you were going to have to. So many times it did not seem fair, but I have expanded because of this experience. I know more and see more and understand more because of it.
For those of you struggling at the bottom of the slippery slope, you truly CAN feel better. It'll just take some time and effort and acceptance. For me it meant accepting something I thought could "never" happen to me (PPD), and accepting a treatment method I previously had scorned (antidepressants). When I finally stopped fighting, I started making progress. When I just typed that, it struck me that it's a lot like labor. Giving in to the pain and working with it was better for me than fighting it, which just prolonged the hurt and made me feel powerless.
My goal now, besides the BFW training and teaching childbirth ed classes maybe this Fall, is to wean off of Lexapro this summer. I hope it's a reasonable goal, but if not, then that's okay. I know that it would be too hard in the grey winters so I'm shooting for the sunny period. I'm sure I'll need help and support for that.
Thanks to all of you for supporting me and others with PPD. I can't say enough good things about having a forum with people who've had similar experiences.
:love Carol
Shortly before I crashed, I had been thinking how I wanted to become a childbirth educator. But life had a little 18-month detour through yuck planned. Two days ago I mailed in my registration form to take the Birthing From Within mentor training in a few weeks. There have also been many other positive things that have come to pass.
I can't believe I finally feel confident enough to move forward like this. It took 14 months of therapy and vitamins and change, and 6 months of Lexapro to get to this point. Now I feel like me again. Actually, and here's the amazing part, I feel like I am MORE than I used to be, having gone through this unexpected and painful journey. I learned so much and am still learning. You can't take things for granted, and sometimes you have to work much harder than you thought you were going to have to. So many times it did not seem fair, but I have expanded because of this experience. I know more and see more and understand more because of it.
For those of you struggling at the bottom of the slippery slope, you truly CAN feel better. It'll just take some time and effort and acceptance. For me it meant accepting something I thought could "never" happen to me (PPD), and accepting a treatment method I previously had scorned (antidepressants). When I finally stopped fighting, I started making progress. When I just typed that, it struck me that it's a lot like labor. Giving in to the pain and working with it was better for me than fighting it, which just prolonged the hurt and made me feel powerless.
My goal now, besides the BFW training and teaching childbirth ed classes maybe this Fall, is to wean off of Lexapro this summer. I hope it's a reasonable goal, but if not, then that's okay. I know that it would be too hard in the grey winters so I'm shooting for the sunny period. I'm sure I'll need help and support for that.
Thanks to all of you for supporting me and others with PPD. I can't say enough good things about having a forum with people who've had similar experiences.
:love Carol