Co-sleeping Success but Napping Failure

[lerichcreek]

(I accidentally posted this in the education forum--so sorry!)

First, I must say how relieved I am to read Mothering magazine and have the resources here on the site.

Secondly, I could use some advice on how to help my son take naps during the day in his crib. He is 4 1/2 months old and we have been co-sleeping since his birth.

As background, we started co-sleeping out of necessity--remodeling in his room was not yet finished and he cried every time I set him down in the bassinet. The bassinet became a diaper and boppy holder and we made space between us and safely away from heavy blankets and our pillows for him to sleep. Now, even though the nursery is finished, it is really just a diaper-changing and play room for us. This is fine except for when I can tell he is sooo tired but won't fall asleep unless he's in my lap, has just nursed, or is rocked on my shoulder or in his sling.

Of course, our co-sleeping is met with much disapproval and all sorts of horror stories of suffication, SIDS, etc. Having done my research, I know co-sleeping is safer and better for him but when he is miserable during the day and I need to do some laundry or make some phone calls, it would be nice for both of us if he could take a 30 to 120-minute nap. (He'll sleep for up to 2 1/2 hours in his sling but wearing the sling is not always practical.)

Yesterday, my mom was able to rock him to sleep and then lay him on his tummy and he slept for two hours. She constantly monitored him since today's advice is to not put babies to sleep on their tummies.

Since I believe my main focus is him right now in my life, I am NOT of the mindset that he should learn independence or be "allowed" to cry it out. Are there others with experience in this area who could give me some natural family advice? It will be MOST appreciated.

[Kinipela79]

I had the same problem. I loved sleeping with him all snuggled up at night but during the day I needed to take care of my other son and take care of myself a bit while he napped! My dh told me that I couldn't have it both ways...why would he sleep in the bassinet when he knows how great it is to sleep with me. My mil gave me a "baby bundle" thing that is supposed to go in the carseat. It's all snuggly and makes the baby like a little papoose. Very cute. Anyway - I attached it to the bassinet mattress and he started taking naps in there. Easy as that. I was really surprised and of course mad I hadn't come across it earlier! So AS USUAL I was right and dh was wrong! Ha ha. Just kidding! Hope that helps...it's worth a try? :)

[carrietorgc]

Can your son roll over yet? If he can you may want to revise your opinion of tummy sleeping.....or ask your ped. what they think.

what about swaddling? www.miracleblanket.com my dd LOVES IT

[BetsyPage]

I've been lurking on this website (mostly on the vaccinations forum), but this post was finally enough to make me register, b/c I totally identify! My dd cosleeps, but I can never get her to sleep in the side-car crib (mobility isn't an issue now). It's not that big of a deal- she just sleeps in my lap while I'm at the computer so I get LOTS of computer time:D and then when I need to do house stuff I put her on her floor gym to play or carry her with me in the sling. But I have no idea what I would do if I had an older child to care for or needed to work!

I've decided that when she gets older, I might see if I can make a napping place in the corner of our living room where I can nurse her to sleep, and then try to get up and quietly do something else for a bit. It wouldn't work in our bedroom- it takes major effort to get out of the bed & that would disturb her. My thought with the floor is that it's safe (can't fall off) and she's used to playing alone on the floor, so sleeping alone there may be more natural.

I haven't started this yet b/c I feel she's too young, but at least I have a plan!:)

[lisabc311]

Definitely try swaddling! It might really help. I like the idea of anything that makes the baby feel secure and cuddled.

While the ideal thing is to hold your baby while they sleep....I totally understand that it isn't always practical! First of all- sometimes Mommy just needs a break!

My DS is 19 mos. old and takes all of his naps in his swing still. Yes, he still fits and it still swings at 25 lbs.! :eek The company said that as long as it still swings with him in it then it is still safe. I don't know what I am going to do when he outgrows it!

I also just wanted to say that I totally can sympathize....as my son has never taken "good" naps. It can be very tiring. Hang in there. :hug

[Suzetta]

I put dd on a pillow on the couch in the main room, with a pillow tucked under her side to make it more difficult to roll off the couch. Now that she can crawl and roll over, she has learned to roll over in one spot, without falling off. I still watch her closely, though. Sometimes she wakes up too soon, and I just rock or milk her back down. Sometimes, my guilty pleasure is to hold her during her whole nap, while I watch TV read, or surf the net.

[angela&avery]

dd is turning 5 months on March 8th, so they are close in age.... she co slept most of the time until about 3 months or so...at that point she became more restless in bed and started sleeping better in her crib in our room.

I have always tried to get her to go to sleep on her own for the first few hours at night and then let her stay with us in our bed once she woke up to nurse, i never let her scream but i have let her fuss herself to sleep, there is a difference and sometimes she would fall asleep after fussing a bit....we are talking after only 5 or 10 minutes. It was about 50/50 that she would nurse to sleep and i would put her in her crib, or she would actually go to sleep by herself in her crib...... what helped us get her there:

i would wait until she was out cold and put her in

letting her watch and listen to her musical aquarium

heating her mattress with a water bottle first

swaddling so that when you lay babe down they dont feel the cold mattress...

letting her fuss a bit

trying it every night at bedtime and every day for naps and going to get her if she starting screaming and crying......

Again, it was 50/50 that she would go on her own, and lately she is doing it more and more and actually likes her crib....

Also, when she nurses she is very touchy, so i put a silky blanky between us for her to hold and touch and she loves to sleep with that.. it smells like me and the touch comforts her as she uses it when she nurses....

good luck!!! it is possible, of course all babies temperaments are different.


edited to add, try the pillow trick!!! nurse side lying for naps and when babe is out cold gently slip your nipple out of his mouth and replace your body with a pillow so they think youre still there!! worked for me with ds and dd!!! if babe moves once you get the pillow there pat his bum a bit and put your face near him so he can smell you...... you may be able to get at least 20 minutes this way!!!

[lerichcreek]

Thank you all for your responses. I feel better knowing I'm not the only mom sitting at home with a baby sleepingin her lap while she watches the History Channel or naps herself while laundry awaits. I am right now warming the bed with a heating pad and will try swaddling again. I did that when he was first home from the hospital but since he's not swaddled at night, I'd gotten away from it. It makes sense, though, since he's essentially swaddled in my arms or in his sling when he sleeps otherwise.

Tummy-sleeping may be an option since he's almost rolling over and is a healthy, robust little guy. I'll still keep a close eye on him.

Thanks again!

[Glittergal]

we have the same problem! dd is about the same age and we have coslept since birth. i must admit though, i feel i may have instigated the napping issue because i rarely try to put her down the few times she does nap. :rolleyes: i just enjoy her so much i find it hard to let go! my husband however, works magic when i'm not around. he has worked out this trick where he lays her in the middle of our bed (not rolling yet) and props her legs up on a pillow. for some reason this seems to make her feel very secure even though is looks and sounds strange. sometimes she sleeps this way for an entire hour! oh but i should mention that he can't put her down until she is asleep. we haven't even attempted to lay her down awake! now when i don't want to sit down and can tell she is really sleepy, i put on my KKAFP and put her in snug and continue with doing whatever i'm doing. she might fuss a few minutes and then all of a sudden she is passed out. :D good luck. i cannot even imagine what i'll do with > 1 child!