I'm not sleeping with 5 yr old still in bed

[leimom]

Hi,

I am a new member. I'm still trying to figure out how everythng works here.

I have three daughters, Liliana 6.5, Elena 5 and Isabel 16 months. They are beautifuly attachment parented little girls. We have had a family bed since the oldest was born. Liliana and Elena easily moved into their own double bed together when they were 3.5 and 2ish. Isabel currently sleeps with us. The two older girls know that they can come in with us at any time.

The callenge we are having is that since we got them bunk beds (liliana really wanted her own bed) Elena has been coming in with us almost everynight. We only have a queen size bed and I am often hanging off the side of the bed not getting any sleep. The baby sleeps soundly through the night but not me! Elena has always been a higher need child and I want to help her meet those needs and not reject her but I'm beginning to resent not sleeping!

Any AP gentle suggestions?

Thanks

Liz:confused:

[Lucky Charm]

What about a sleeping bag next to your bed that she can crawl into?

I understand that she is most likely really missing sleeping with someone. You could put her back in her bed.

My son slept with us for many years, and it was a relief when he finally slept in his own bed. I was so exhausted from exactly the same thing you speak of.

In desperation, i would go into my son's bed!

[onlyboys]

We took the crib matress and put it on the floor next to our bed. That way, our older child could still share sleep with us, but no necessarily in our bed. It worked beautifully.

Good luck,

Amanda

[leimom]

Thank you for your ideas. It's so nice to know that, at least, we're not alone in our frustration and need for sleep.

We had a cot next to our bed for years that used to work very well with our oldest child. It was on my husband's side of the bed so that it could be up against the wall and it is a bit lower than our bed. We finally took it down because our 5 year old refused to use it.

We also tried putting a mattress on the floor at my side of the bed with her sleeping bag on it when she was really into "camping" thinking we could capitalize on that. It worked for a short time until she realized her needs were not being met. She wants to snuggle with somebody. It is the warm body thing. I don't blame her. I wouldn't want to sleep alone either.

I often end up moving to her bed too! I do miss sleeping with my husband, though. Even if it is only our feet touching below the valley between us that is our beautiful baby!

My hope is that when the baby is ready she and our 5 yr old will be happy to share a bed together. They are very close and it could work but in the mean time....

thanks

liz:zzz

[angela&avery]

could the two little ones share a mattress on the floor in your room until the baby is old enough to go into the kids room? Then they can snuggle but be near and you and dh can snuggle?

[leimom]

That's a very good idea. We might have to get a little bigger mattress but it just might work. It also may be the way we transition Isabel into her sisters' room. The two older ones were so close in age that their move together was so obvious and perfect. It would make me sad for the baby not to have that.

Thanks I will let you know how it goes.

Liz

[angela&avery]

:D keep us posted!!

[CerridwenLorelei]

that disturbs the 5? I mean like snoring etc?
Our 5 still comes in with us several nights a week around 3-5 am
Just when I am getting to sleep good and lately he has gotten bad about thwapping me in the eye in his sleep lol
We did find out that during some of our colder nights here he was under his blankets but my teen was running the heater on high and he was getting too hot so came in here with us

he did see the overnight rollout bed in the Magic Cabin catalog and we talked about maybe getting that for when he comes in mommy and daddy's room
The sleeping bag worked for awhile, he brought it in and said "I am having a sleepover with you and daddy"
maybe try that angle instead of camping? let her bring a stuffed animal or two?
Ds had a 'trio' he brought with him on sleepovers LOL

Good luck with whatever route you go

[leimom]

Our six year old wasn't doing anything in particular except sleeping too far away from her sister.

We talked to Elena (5) about sleeping on the cot in our room with the baby and she was all for it. She said that she just wants someone sleeping next to her :duh and that when she wakes up in her lower bunk she feels alone. so this weekend we separated their beds so that they are still in their own bed (important to Lili the 6 yr old) but Elena feels like her sister is next to her.

We also put the baby to sleep on the cot next to the bed so that my dh and I can cuddle but the baby can crawl up when she wants. Elena also agreed to stay in her bed for a week while we get the baby accustomed to the cot. Then she will sleep in the cot with the baby whenever she comes in.

What's nice about the bunk beds is they have built-in guard rails so that one entire side against the wall has a rail. Elena really wants the baby in with her so we agreed to start having her nap in Elena's bed to get used to sleeping there but for now she will stay in our room at night. She seems satisfied with the whole deal and has stayed in her room two nights. The baby slept most of the night last night in the cot and my dh and I fell asleep in each others' arms! I woke to find her snuggled in his arms. The best of both worlds to me.

Thanks to all for your ideas! We'll see how it goes.

Liz:zzz