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copslass
03-05-2004, 11:10 PM
My newly turned 13yo went to the bowling alley wth friends tonight.
Just came downstairs and mentioned that she and a girlfriend had walked to mcdonald's (a half mile away from bowling alley.) When I told her never to do that again, she replied, "Mom, it's 'insert small town here.'"

So I finally told her what her 19yo sis has known for years, about the brutal attack I suffered at age 15 walking in a nice neighborhood just after dark. I detailed the whole story, but my head was hurting too badly to talk about the aftermath. My heart is still pounding. I did tell her that it took over ten years for me to begin living normally after that. And that she is much too precious to ever put herself in a place of danger.

I still worry SO much about my dd at college, especially returning to campus and walking across the parking lot when getting off work late at night. Just spoke to her recently about it, and she assured me that she's always careful, and super aware of her surroundings, because of my warnings. From what she said about watching, I mean the details she gave, I have confidence that she is truly extra careful.

I guess, more than anything, I just want to say: Please, please, please talk to your kids candidly about these things. They DO happen, to REAL people.

I don't want my kids to live in constant fear, but it is imperative that they be AWARE.

Ok, I'm done, I'm just overwhelmed right now, after talking about it and almost reliving it as I talked.

God bless all of our precious children, especially as they venture forth into further independence.




Amandzia
03-06-2004, 04:43 PM
Thank you for sharing. It is so imporant to teach them to be careful and never take chances. Sometimes parents think "whew, my child is finally old enough to go out alone" when in fact young teens (especially girls) are sadly often the target a bad guy is looking for.
Thank you for reminding us to be careful, especially just before spring when the weather (here in CA anyway) is getting nice and they want more freedom to get outside.
I am so sorry that this happened to you. I hope the fears for your children don't overwhelm you too much and if so, do seek relief in religion or a counceler. Caution is good, but not anxiety.

hugs,
Amanda

Irishmommy
03-06-2004, 04:51 PM
((((Tracy))))

calgal007
03-08-2004, 10:50 PM
We live very near an area where a very public, terrible child abduction occurred. There was a lot of national media focus on the abduction.

My ds, who is the same age as the child who was abducted, told me "Mom, this is (insert name of county). What's going to happen to me here?" I said the name of the abducted child and told him he should NEVER think something couldn't happen.

mountain mom
03-08-2004, 11:45 PM
Tracy,
Thank you for your post, it is very vital to keep the awareness present in our children without creating huge fear.
:hugs to you and all your kids!

Colleen

i'm amy
03-09-2004, 10:31 AM
I am so sorry for what happened to you and that this must be so alive for you with your kids being teenagers. I, too, know that "bad things happen". When I was very young, my 7 year old cousin and a friend were raped and murdered by a neighbor. My daughter is now 6 and I have recurring nightmares. I don't feel safe letting her play in the yard unwatched. I feel that I keep my fears to myself, and don't project them on her. Part of life is taking risks, and not being controlled by fear, but there are awful people in our world. It is hard for me to know how to teach my children to be careful without instilling fear. Does anyone have any book or video recommendations?

Momtwice
03-09-2004, 05:36 PM
Originally posted by i'm amy
Does anyone have any book or video recommendations?

Books:
The Gift of Fear
Protecting the Gift

(Gavin De Becker)