What kind of birth are you planning??

[Kundalini-Mama]

I know it is early, but I am so darn excited about this pregnancy, and have been planning this birth ever since my son's birth. :LOL And I know that this is being discussed on one of the other threads too.

I'm planning a home birth with a very hands off midwife. I want an unassisted birth basically, but want some 'medical' reassurance. I'm interviewing a couple of midwives (we have a lot of HB midwives in my area--probably b/c the hospital is so darn crappy), and I'm making my choices very clear.

My doula at my last birth (which was a hospital birth but not at the aforementioned crappy hospital), is now a licensed midwife. I'm thinking though that she might be way too hands on for me. I just want my space and have the midwife hanging out in the living room, checking the hb as often (or as little) as she needs to.

What are you all planning?

[fourlittlebirds]

Amy, I am hearing more and more women saying that they want basically an unassisted birth with a midwife, which was virtually unheard of as an approach to giving birth until fairly recently. Whether with midwife or doctor, it has for a long time been generally accepted that birthing women *need* guidance and assistance during a normal birth process. Jan Tritten, editor of Midwifery Today, has said that the midwifery community needs to pay attention to the unassisted birth movement because it brings up issues that are relevant to *all* birthing women (not just those planning UC,) issues that have not previously been recognized or acknowledged within the general consciousness. UC is still (and probably will continue to be) regarded by most as a dangerous extreme, but some of the important concepts are filtering through, which is wonderful!

[Bunches]

I am considering a homebirth with a nurse-midwife. I really need to do some research though since I just moved here a few months ago. She was highly recommended. I also have to see if my insurance will pay for it!!!! I will also look into the local birth center and talk to some of the doctors I work with at the hospital. I would like to have little intervention also.
I am a bit torn about where to deliver since a lot of the doctors and nurses I work with (whom I respect) seem to be so against the local birth center. They have lay midwives. But, I have also heard WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL things about them from people that have delivered there. The opinions I have heard are completely split! Well........ I have some time to look into it!!!

[coleslaw]

I don't know yet. There aren't very many midwives that do homebirths around here. And CT has weird laws about it. Only a CNM can deliver or else it's very difficult to get a birth certificate.

I would love a homebirth, but am also looking into a birth center. The birth center is about 45 mintues away and since it will be winter in NE when the baby comes, I think I would prefer the homebirth if I can get up the full courage and convince dh (and find a midwife - not quite ready for unassisted).

[PatchyMama]

we are planning a homebirth with a midwife :) Our midwife is very open to doing what I want to do..... so how hands on or off it will be I am really leaving open til i know for sure..... but at this point im not sure im ready for hands off, LOL. I need someone to assure me that everything is OK because im a constant worrier ;)

[sweetpeasmom]

well I'm going for the hospital birth. I had complications last time, so I just feel better being there. Although this time, I want to do a natural birth. I got an epi last time and I regretted it big time.

[sadean]

I haven't decided fully yet, though I am leaning towards unassisted, with maybe a midwife in the background. I had a homebirth (with midwife and doula) last time, and over all it was great. But there were times when she wanted me to do certain things that just didn't feel right (like squatting to push...it just wasn't the right position for me...I ended up on my hands and knees on my own, which worked great)...we just weren't fully in tune with each other.

[lauren]

I had two homebirths with my others while I was in my 30's. These were wonderful births. Now I am wondering what to do. I'll be 41, my stamina is not what it used to be, and I have discovered a nice little hospital with a very cool ob/gyn that has had homebirths herself. And they have a big birthing tub. I'm torn between the nostalgia for the 2 previous homebirths and being a teensy worried about my age, December in New England (=snow) and the midwives are an hour away. Also, my midwives from the last two have split up their professional partnership of 20 years, It would be impossible for me to choose between them!!

[Kerlowyn]

lauren

I could have written your post!! I am also 41 and just found out I am PG with #3. I am hoping these old bones won't complain too much about another baby! I am planning a waterbirth in a Cambridge hospital that is an hour away from my home. I had my last baby there. It is a very 'hands off' hospital!

Also, the CNM practice I had for my last 2 births does not exsist anymore, and they have merged with a larger CNM practice. I so love the MWs I had for my last 2 births, I am hoping the 'new' MWs are just as good.

IKWYM about December/New England. What worries me the most is the traffic! Luckly, DS2 was born on a holiday because we were on our way to the hospital at 5:00PM and got to Rt 128 at 5:30PM! DS was born 45 minutes after getting to the hospital, I would have had him on the side of the road if it was a rush hour!

[coleslaw]

Hey NE ladies!! I'm from CT and the traffic thing is my biggest worry, maybe even more than snow. Any homebirthing midwife has to go on I-95 and/or over the Tappen Zee bridge. OR the birthing center is 45mintues away and if I need to go in the afternoon, it's rush hour on back roads and I-84!! I think I better look into giving birth on my own, just in case I need to!!

[lauren]

Luckily traffic is one thing we don't have to worry about it rural VT--though of course there could always be the herd of cows crossing the road, or an overturned hay wagon. A traffic jam here means 6 cars! I did used to live in PA and don't miss the traffic at all. One less thing to worry about!

[Bunches]

I must admit I don't miss the traffic in New England. My MIL lives in Maine and my parents live in NJ so when we lived in CT, we sure had to make sure we traveled during off peak hours. Otherwise, a 3 hour trip became a 5 hour trip.!!! I miss New England though. But..... Alaska is also cool.
I just spoke with a CNM,NP who is willing to do a homebirth. She always attend the births with another CNM. I am strongly considering this!!! I only live 1.7 miles from the hospital. She used to be an OB nurse at our local hospital. Its kind of nice for me too because a homebirth will give me more annonymity since I work in the ER of a small hospital and everyone knows everything that goes on!!!!
I still don't have many symptoms though. A little fatigue and breast heaviness.
Those with homebirth experiences, how was it for you??? This is my first little one.

[sadean]

Those with homebirth experiences, how was it for you??? This is my first little one.

I cannot praise the over all experience of having a homebirth vs. a hospital birth more than to say IT ROCKS!!!

I have had one of each, and by "horror story" standards my hospital birth was a breeze and relatively intervention free. But it wasn't home, it wasn't comfortable even though it was in a "home-style" birthing room, and they wouldn't let me stay in the whirlpool tub to birth (my question was why the he!! did they have it then??? No resonse :rolleyes: ). I found the hospital experience to be inhibiting. At home I was able to wander around, get in and out of the tub 6 times :LOL, made as much noise as I wanted/needed too, be naked if I wanted too and I birthed on my bed on my hands and knees by moonlight. The difference was profound, and given the choice, I would birth at home.

[mamamoo]

We are planning to have another home/waterbirth. I had my first two kiddos in the hospital, and my third at home...huge difference!! I love my midwives too, so this is so exciting!!

[Kundalini-Mama]

Originally posted by lauren
Luckily traffic is one thing we don't have to worry about it rural VT--though of course there could always be the herd of cows crossing the road, or an overturned hay wagon. A traffic jam here means 6 cars! I did used to live in PA and don't miss the traffic at all. One less thing to worry about!

I'm so jealous. I live in urban area (for Vermont). My hubby and I are transports from Jersey, so it is obviously nothing like that used to be.

Hopefully we will move out into the country in 5 yrs or so. I want to get some land and get a yurt. :banana

What is your midwife situation like by you Lauren? I have my pick and am having a hard time narrowing down my choices. Its rough, I tell you ;)

Amy

[KoalaMommy]

I have decided to have a CNM delivery in a hospital. It was a very complicated decision. My mother had me at home, and nearly cries whenever she realizes again that I'm not going that route. But I have a history of hemorraging and I feel very strongly about having an IV line open and a couple of units of red cells on hand just in case. I have pointed out to dear mom that I would seriously question the ethics of anyone willing to deliver me at home with my history, it would be far too risky for me or them. The local (rural) hospital won't even deliver me, I have to drive a minimum of 45 mintues to a larger facility (though I've chosen to go further driving an hour and a half to find the combination of services I want).

My MIL (given my history) wants me to have as medical a birth as possible, lots of doctors, lots of drugs, maybe even c-section if that would be lower risk somehow :scratch . When I decided on the CNM route (incidentally only 2 days before :+ ) I finally felt at ease with one of the options before me. With a midwife I can have a more natural experience (none of that inducing so I can go on vacation experience my friend recently had with her OB), but I can still be in a hospital in case of emergency. I intend to write a very thorough birth plan, and honestly, in this case I think I will be more comfortable in the hospital.

I'm really glad we have so many options these days, and I'm trying to convince my mother that there is nothing morally wrong with delivering a baby in the hospital!

[lauren]

Amy, for the last 2 births I used the midwives in Bristol. They are the ones that split their partnership. The only one close now is a midwife that just lost her license--it's been in the papers. So if i do homebirth it would be a choice of the midwife in Bristol, or the one in Lincoln.

[Kundalini-Mama]

Originally posted by lauren
Amy, for the last 2 births I used the midwives in Bristol. They are the ones that split their partnership. The only one close now is a midwife that just lost her license--it's been in the papers. So if i do homebirth it would be a choice of the midwife in Bristol, or the one in Lincoln.

You must live right by me :)

There is a midwife in Middletown Springs, and 2 in Middlebury (I think), and one in Arlington (which might be a little too far for you, but I'm not sure).

I'm pretty sure I'm going w/Helena Wu in Arlington.

Amy

[Graceoc]

We are planning a homebirth this time around and I am very exicted!

WIth my first I had a hospital birth with a CNM - it was pretty medical with an epi and IV - but it was what I wanted at the time, and I was very pleased with my care. It was a very smooth birth with no complications.


My second was a waterbirth at a birth center with a CNM - the most AMAZING experience of my life! I would do that again, but we have moved and there are NO birthcenters in the area.

I hope to waterbirth at home - and have already spoken via phone to a midwife that was recommended to me. I hope to have a face-to-face with her soon now that I am actually pg! DH was a tad reluctant - but has given his blessing. I think that the fact that the hospital is only 2.4 miles away AND the mw is a trained and certified EMT helps with his 'fear'.

[lauren]

Congratulations Graceoc! Sounds like your births are progressing toward more and more natural and independent! I am curious about waterbirth. Last two times I couldn't even use the tub because of water breaking!

AmyD, I have heard good things about Helena Wu. Since we're getting so specific here (and this may not be of interest to everyone else :) ) do you want to pm me the name of the midwife in Middletown Springs? I have never heard of anyone down there. Mdtwn Spgs to me is not much better than Bristol to me, but it's good to know your options!

[thedevinemissm]

:LOL I delivered at a birth center with my ds and plan to do the same again. I loved the experience, was the best of both worlds for me. The convenience of knowing that IF something happened, I was well taken care of. But, dh & I were able to set the stage for the type of birth we wanted.

ds was born in a tub & I :love loved:love it! At home I have a tub I can barely fit in when I'm not pregnant :eek much less at 10months!

We were home 3 hours after ds was born. I can't wait to do it again!!!!:thumb

[Maple Leaf]

I would love a home birth, but my last delivery was complicated. So I feel like I should be in a hospital. Plus my DH and family would not let me do it at home after what happened to DD. So I will have my Doula and DH by my side at the hospital. I am planning on a VBAC. My doctor is VBAC friendly, so we'll see.

[Larissa]

I am having a hospital birth. I am very interested in homebirth, just not ready for it yet. I may consider it for future children, depending on how this birth goes. I had a difficult time with my first birth...so, not ready to plunge into home birth quite yet.

[Jessviola]

i would love to have a homebirth but don't think it's going to happen. dd was born in a hospital and although i don't regard it as a bad experience, there are things that i would do differently knowing what i do now. i've been having dreams of homebirths but i don't think there's any way we could swing it financially or that dh would be agreeable. i'm hoping to find a good birth center around here so i can have a hands-off birth but will also be learning all about homebirth *just in case*
we're in CT so weather could be a factor.

[Vanyalos]

I have no idea yet ..

I know that I WANT a homebirth ( possibly waterbirth, I atleast want to labour in the water like I did with my son ) . This may not be possible though, as we may be moving and will then be living above a store :( .

Hospital is just not for me . I hated the time I was there ( I'm so glad that I left it as long as possible to actually make my way there ) and couldn't wait to get out of there when I had Bray, so I hope I don't have to go with that option .

[cinnamonamon]

Homebirth! HBAC actually. :) I'm going to meet with my midwife Thursday -- I kinda know her from LLL. I'm a teeny bit nervous, but I have another 8 months to educate myself and plan, lol.

:)

[nannymom]

Hi. I have been giving this a lot of thought since we started TTC. I would like a home birth, but I live in NC where direct entry mid-wifery is against the law. You can have home births with a CNM and there are MWs who will break the law. However, it has proven diffucult to find either. Another issue we are having i sthat we don't have a lot of money and our insurance is great. I would hate to let money lead me to a hospital birth, but it may be a factor.

[hmg7500]

birthing center with a cnm. that is, if she can look past my two previous "high risk" pregnancies and thinks i'm a good candidate.

i had preeclampsia both times around, and my last pregnancy/birth was twins, so hopefully this time around it will be easier.

[michray]

I desperately want to home / water birth this baby. I have had 2 horrible hospital experiences...and I am certain they will term me high risk, since I had preterm labor and bedrest with DD.

Even worse news is that I live in Kentucky....where there are exactly 3 practicing CNMs in my area and I have no idea how to go about getting in touch with them! I have sent some emails and am anxiously awaiting replies. My insurance will cover midwife services if I can find a participating one, but that doesn't look likely.

Anyone ever do a homebirth with just a doula?

[DalaiMama]

I'm planning a homebirth this time around. My first was a hospital birth, 5 hours from beginning to end, no complications, which makes me wonder how long this labor will be. I may not even have time to go to the hospital. :) Really, I've done a lot of reading and research, and could never go back to birthing lithotomy style with my legs in stirrups, which is SOP at our local hospital. I'd much rather be at home with my hubby and my babies.

[chasmyn]

My first birth was a homebirth and this one will be, as well. Because of my first son having Hypoplastic Left Heart, I imagine I am technically considered high risk, but that won't stop me. I'll have good prenatal care to make sure things are fine, but the only place I'd give birth besides home is a birthing center.

St. Louis (where we currently live) doesn't have any birthing centers, and even to find someone to do a homebirth you sort of have to know someone. We're moving to Seattle in a month, though, and as I understand it there are a lot more options for homebirths and birth centers and such - I can't wait to explore the options there.

What I'd really love to do is a waterbirth. :flower

[traci5489]

Well, I guess I will go ahead and say it :hide: I am planning a hospital birth, definitely, since I will be having a c-section.

My ds (firstborn) was an emergency c-section, dd was a c-section due to being breech and I could have some pretty nasty scarring (according to my ob, and she ought to know she did both of my cs) so the safest IMO is to just opt for the repeat.

Kind of nervous about posting this as sometimes the response on MDC for a scheduled repeat c-section is less than glowing.

[KoalaMommy]

Traci,

I don't think you should feel at all ashamed of the decision you've made. You have to do what you think is best for you and your baby!!! I'm having a hospital birth too, because I believe it is the best thing for me and my baby given our situation, and I'm just so glad for the work so many people have done before me to make sure that the choices I make can and will be honored in a hospital setting. I think the best thing that women like my mother (who had me at home) have gained for us is options. Being alternative is about making the choice that you believe is the best choice for you and for your family, no matter what the establishment says. So don't let the alternative establishment bully you into feeling bad about your choice!!!!!!!! :thumb

[jayayenay]

.

[mommyheidi]

I still have no idea what we're going to do. Dh graduates next month and we don't even know where we'll be living. I'd really like to deliver in a birthing center, but there are NONE in Missouri. CNM don't even have hospital rights, let alone be legally allowed to perform homebirths. There is one Dr. in St. Louis who does homebirths, but from what I've heard he is rather set in his view of how it should go. Dh is interviewing in Las Vegas next week and I know they have plenty of MWs there... who knows?!?!

[Jenb]

I am planning another VBAC (actually this would be a VBA2C x 2-does that make sense?:LOL )
My first was an emergency C-section, my second was a poorly attempted VBAC, and my third was a successful VBA2C.

I will more than likely be delivering again in a hospital with a CNM-I am still seeking out a Midwifery practice in my area.

In my heart of hearts I would love to have Homebirth, but given the climate of midwifery in this state, I am finding that to be nearly impossible. My husband would also not be very open to this.:(

[Past_VNE]

We are planning a homebirth, mostly unassisted. I want to have a midwife throughout my pregnancy and then available at birth, should I want her.

It's funny, I always thought you had to have a baby in a hospital. Then, almost three years ago, when we decided we wanted to try soon, (too bad that didn't happen) I started researching online and learned of this marvelous "new" :LOL option. It made so much sense from the first time I read it. It's just right for both DH and me.

Now, to just get the family members to understand, if not agree. :rolleyes: Even my go-with-the-flow MIL wants a birthing center. Too bad. My husband, our baby, our decision. THE END. Wait...I admit, I'll be nicer than that in person.

[kimkabob5]

I took a birth assistant workshop with Helena Wu back in '97. She is a wonderful woman and you (sorry I forgot your name) are so lucky to have her for your homebirth!

As for myself, I will probably be having this baby in the hospital. I have had two homebirths and would prefer to have this one at home as well, but here in NY state insurance doesn't cover it and we still owe the midwives money from my last birth. I've thought of unassisted but it doesn't feel right in my gut; I believe women are meant to be with other women when they give birth.

My ob is almost as good as a midwife though. He did alot of training in Africa and believes completely in natural birth. His epidural rate is under 10% and his csection rate is even lower. He doesn't believe in interventions and will basically let me do whatever I want. Hell, if I told him I wanted to give birth hanging upside down in a tree he'd probably go along with it.

He was my doctor when my son was born and I did not have the EFM, I labored in water, he didn't cut the cord until it stopped pulsating. It's not him I don't trust, it's the darn nurses who like to do everything by protocol.

I wish I could have another homebirth. ((((sigh))))


Kim

[MountainLovinMama]

I'll be doing a hospital birth - hopefully a VBAC. My maternal family has a long history of complicated labor, so with my first pregnancy I wanted to have a relationship with a doctor I trusted just in case things did not go as smoothly as I anticipated, but we planned on a natural, intervention-free labor and delivery. We had a doula, we used the tub in the hospital, all the nurses were SO supportive of us in our desire for a natural labor, I even felt fine walking around naked! So, it was a good, very supportive environment even though it was not home and ended up in a c-section! I had a c-section after many, many hours of drug-free labor; the baby was transverse (facing sideways instead of forward or back) and did not progress down the birth canal despite my being fully dilated and pushing for four hours! (And despite repeated attempts by my dr to reposition her, and a few other 'tricks') I was really, really lucky - everyone, even the surgeons, were SO great. It was against hospital regulations for our doula to come into the surgery, but we had planned that if there were any unexpected complications, she would remain with us to give both dh and me support....my dr (who was the one who doing the surgery) actually told one of the attendents "If she (our doula) doesn't go it, then I don't go in." I will be forever grateful for that!

So, it is possible to have a very positive, supportive experience even in a hospital, and even if interventions become necessary!

So, this time around I need to decide where to give birth - my dr's practice and the hospital where I gave birth are too small and rural to do VBAC. I will be really sad to leave them, but I think I want to try a VBAC. We live at over 9,000 feet in the mountains, so winter driving will definitely be a stress factor!! Snow is a given, and in extreme cases the road is closed for avalanche control! But I am glad not to have to worry about traffic - that might actually stress me out more!

[Lula's Mom]

At this point I don't know. I had a home waterbirth with my daughter in Texas, but we've since moved from there to Georgia. And the midwifery climate here is not nearly so good; it's illegal to practice here. But I found a lay midwife before I miscarried a couple of months ago. Now that I'm pregnant again, I keep putting off calling her, and I'm not sure why. She was very nice and agreed to be as hands-off as I wanted her to be, but something in me is just yearning for UC.

This will be DF's first child, though, and he is really nervous whenever I bring up the idea of just doing it ourselves. He is really supportive of all my "alternative" ideas, and he's all for homebirth. But he's terrified at not having help if there were problems. I just ordered "Emergency Childbirth" today, so we'll see if reading that makes him feel more comfortable. I have found that with him, fear comes from the unknown. So if I can make him feel like he'd know what to do in any situation, he may come around. I just keep feeling more and more strongly that I want to be *private* about this birth.

[michray]

We just found out that we will be moving to Texas the end of May! I am so excited, because now I may actually be able to find a decent midwife and have this baby at home!!

[Lula's Mom]

Mich, where in Texas? :)

[EnviroBecca]

Hospital birth with a CNM. I've been seeing him (yes, a male midwife!) for 2 years and feel very confident in him. I'm not really interested in having a homebirth--I think I'd be too distracted by worrying about cleaning up after myself! :LOL

[pamamidwife]

Hospital birth with a CNM. I've been seeing him (yes, a male midwife!) for 2 years and feel very confident in him. I'm not really interested in having a homebirth--I think I'd be too distracted by worrying about cleaning up after myself! :LOL
Becca, is this really the main reason why you won't homebirth? Because of the "mess"? I hear this alot and wonder if it's just a joke or if it's the one thing that holds people back. I wish they could see homebirths - for some reason, they are more clean than hospital births and the midwives clean up everything!

I just wonder because I see this alot. I wasn't sure if it's a joke, or an easy reason to dismiss homebirth even though there's more serious concerns with the poster, or some horrible misinformation out there about homebirth clean up.

?

[Aura_Kitten]

i... well... honestly now i guess i'm planning on doing UC...

[michray]

Mich, where in Texas? :)

Austin, or there abouts. I am really hoping to end up back near Cedar Park since we lived there before and I like the "small town" feel of the area.

[ishtarmaia]

I had my first son at the hospital. i had planned a homebirth, but between a scared, borderline unsupportive partner and midwives i barely knew ( we moved when I was 8 months pg), in the end we went to the hospital, where all my dreams were shattered. I ended up with an epidural because i couldn't relax enough in the hospital to give birth naturally.

When I became pg with my daughter, I became determined to make my dream a reality, to trust my body to give birth naturally and beautifully, and to empower myself by reading everything available. My daughter's dad was supportive of homebirth, knew about my hospital experience and wanted me to have what I wanted. He read with me and we prepared ourselves for what we ( I especially) knew was going to be a beautiful, natural, complication-free birth.

We never really had the support of our families except for my mom, who has always believed in me. His parents thought we were complete lunatics who were endangering our child. Luckily we were living in NM, 1600 miles from them.

Well, the birth was all i had hoped and Maya Nebaj Delgado was born at home, surprisingly in the basement. I was on the way upstairs to the bathroom because I thought I was going to shit myself! :LOL
The pool was in the basement, and I soaked in it for hours during labor, but got out before the Main Event. I ended up on my hands and knees on a blow-up mattress that i had used in the pool. Steven was there to catch her and my friend Bonnie was there to photograph the event. That birth changed my life and the way I have thought about myself ever since. I am STRONG!!! When I had Chance in the hospital, I was a first-timer that thought the midwives knew better than I did since they had been to births before! Ha! Now I know that I know best and that my body knows how to give birth without me having to do anything but sit back and relax as much as possible.

My experience has led me to the conclusion that while unattended birth is not for everyone, it was a beautiful and empowering trip for me. I plan to do it again in Dec. when DS #2 is due to join us. The keys to successful unattended birth seem to be 1) a supportive partner who is willing to study and believes in you and himself 2) FULL TRUST IN YOURSELF AND YOUR BODY TO DO WHAT IT KNOWS HOW TO DO NATURALLY 3) belief that the universe is watching over us, guiding us and protecting us and whatever is going to happen will happen. For me it was much easier to give birth at home because I was in charge and no one could take that away or make me do anything I didn't want to do, which was a resounding theme in my hospital birth.

Trust yourself to know what is best for you and don't let anyone talk you into something you're uncomfortable with. That's the bottom line.

Happy birthing to all!!!

Jen

[Jenb]

I posted on this a while back, but have an update!
We are having a Homebirth!!! :carrot

I had said previously in this thread that Mike wouldn't be open to the idea...Well, he was actually the one who brought it up!

I had been telling him how angst ridden I was after having spoken with several practices in the area, and how the thought of another hospital birth terrified me. Out of the blue he says, "Why don't we just have the baby at home!?!"
After I regained consciousness, we ended up talking about it until 2 am.

After MUCH searching for a HB MW in this area, one name kept coming up and I spoke with several women who had delivered with her, and had great things to say-so I got in contact with her, we met, and feel very comfortable in her care.

As somewhat of a compromise with Mike, we will be using a Midwifery practice for lateral care. I have also met with them, and really liked the MW that I saw there.

Anyway, I am so happy to be updating our decison here!:D

[Oregonicmama]

I am planning a homebirth with a midwife and tub with jets etc (basically a portable hot tub I can rent from midwife's friend).

I had DD unassisted and only even had a midwife for the first trimester. I am a "hippie" and was traveling as a way of life then, so Dd was born in a Super 8!! They were really cool about it, and even though I was in my RV-van for most of the labor, I only had to push for about half an hour and it went great. She was caught by her father (he was in the tub, I was in a chair next to the tub), and we were on our way the next day. I know this probably sounds crazy to some of you (extra crazy to those who already think Unasisted Birth is nuts), but it was one of the most beautiful, life affirming experiences I've ever had and really brought Dp and I very close and super bonded us with DD.

As much as I loved it, I think it would be nice to have a "normal" homebirth this time, I want to be pampered. I doubt my baby will be "delivered" by the midwife and I am leaning toward catching her myself, but I would just like to have someone there who i don't have to tell what to say to me! LOL. And the Hot tub is just soooooo cool!!

Anyone who is planning an Unassisted birth and would like to chat or needs support, questions answered etc., please feel free to PM me!! I have never discussed this with anyone who was actually considering doing it!

[Graceoc]

JenB - WHOO HOO! I am so happy for you! I am also seeing an OB (who is even better then my last CNM) for lateral care just to put Dan's (and to some degree) my mind at ease. Best of Luck with your birth - we will both have somthing big to celebrate come December!

Grace

[EnviroBecca]

Sorry, Pam, I just now noticed your question: Becca, is this really the main reason why you won't homebirth? Because of the "mess"? No, really the main reason is that, on the off chance that something goes wrong and I need major medical attention, I don't want to:
a. worry about my partner, who just recently started driving, getting us to the hospital;
b. worry about having trouble getting to the hospital because of the kind of weather that typically occurs in Pittsburgh in December and be traumatized by going out into the cold in such a delicate state (I often have very strong emotional reactions to being cold);
c. face delays, harrassment, or other difficulties at the hospital because of having tried to homebirth.
I'm sure you have strategies for trying to argue me out of all these concerns, as well as the "mess" ones, but I know myself pretty well and have some sense about what is and isn't likely to drive me insane.

Regarding mess, I understand that no responsible midwife would leave piles of bloody towels lying on the carpet; of course some cleaning up would be done. But I do not want to spend my labor thinking about whether the surface I'm on is one that will stain permanently--I want to leave that for the hospital to worry about after I leave. I do not want to spend my labor glaring at dustballs behind the toilet and other pre-existing dirt that I'll feel guilty for not having attended to--I want to go to a clean, scrubbed place where that's someone else's job. I do not want to spend my labor worrying about what the midwife thinks of my housekeeping or whether I should be nudging my partner to offer him a snack. I do not want to spend my labor being distracted by things around the house (not just cleaning but all my various projects) that I feel like I ought to be doing. I do not want to be distracted immediately after birth by wondering what happened to all my towels or discussing whether we need to rent a rug shampooer.

To me, home is a place where my partner and I are responsible for taking care of ourselves and of our environment. When I am in a state of needing professional help, I don't want to be at home where I feel responsible for making sure the pro has everything he needs--I want to be in a place where he can get whatever he needs at a moment's notice and I don't have to think about it. When I am going to make a mess, I want to be in a place that's prepared for it. When I've recovered enough that I feel my partner and I can take care of me, then I want to go home and have everything be the way I left it.

I understand that others have strong feelings about wanting to be at home to give birth. I just don't particularly see the appeal myself.

[KittyKat]

At this point I don't know. I had a home waterbirth with my daughter in Texas, but we've since moved from there to Georgia. And the midwifery climate here is not nearly so good; it's illegal to practice here. But I found a lay midwife before I miscarried a couple of months ago. Now that I'm pregnant again, I keep putting off calling her, and I'm not sure why. She was very nice and agreed to be as hands-off as I wanted her to be, but something in me is just yearning for UC.

I totally understand feeling like you want a UC. I've had thoughts along those lines myself sometimes. My DH is not there yet, I'm lucky he's on board with the homebirth! If you decide you do want to go with a midwife, but for whatever reasin your instinct is telling you the other midwife is not the right one for you, let me know. I am in GA, and I know a few midwives.

I had a home waterbirth with my 4th, and seriously the midwife spent almost the entire labor napping in the back bedroom. She would check on me every so often, and listen to the heartbeat. Once she asked me how long it had been since I made a bathroom trip (in a VERY gentle way) and I was very pleased at how hands-off she was.

Kathryn

[green betty]

If I had my druthers I'd give birth in a b/c with a CNM. Where I live in Nova Scotia, however, no such thing exists. My choices are A) home birth with a direct-entry midwife, or B) hospital birth in a hospital with a good reputation in some ways but a 25% C rate. I don't care for any of the local midwives and dh is dead-set against home birth, having had a very scary experience of an unforseen high-risk birth with first first child (former marriage). I'm reluctantly going with hospital birth with a kick-ass doula and planning to stay home as late in labor as I reasonably can. I'd love advice from experienced moms in similar situations!

[Lula's Mom]

I totally understand feeling like you want a UC. I've had thoughts along those lines myself sometimes. My DH is not there yet, I'm lucky he's on board with the homebirth! If you decide you do want to go with a midwife, but for whatever reasin your instinct is telling you the other midwife is not the right one for you, let me know. I am in GA, and I know a few midwives.

I had a home waterbirth with my 4th, and seriously the midwife spent almost the entire labor napping in the back bedroom. She would check on me every so often, and listen to the heartbeat. Once she asked me how long it had been since I made a bathroom trip (in a VERY gentle way) and I was very pleased at how hands-off she was.

Kathryn

Thanks for the offer, Kathryn. :) My journey to the Dark Side is now complete, however! We ARE going to UC! I feel so confident about this decision- it's the only right one for me. I am practically bursting with excitement and anticipation of doing it by ourselves. And thank God my fiance is very supportive of it, because this is how I need to birth, and I need him 100% with me.

I considered calling the midwife and having a long talk about just how hands-off I need her to be, and I know she would have agreed. We'd talked previously about some births she attended and she said she usually lets couples labor alone. She'll sit in the next room if that's what they want. But even that didn't feel right. I didn't want her there AT ALL, because I knew I'd be undermining my faith in myself, my baby, and nature's processes just by having her available. If she were there, even in the next room (even waiting outside in her car!) I knew I'd turn to her for reassurance, rather than looking within myself and to my partner. This is such a sacred, private life experience to me, and I don't want to share it with a relative stranger. I know I will be calmer, more centered, and I will listen to what my body is telling me as I labor- whereas if a midwife were present, I'd be very likely to ask her what she thinks. Is it OK to push? Should I try a different position? Does it seem like it's taking too long? Can I do this? I'll be the one answering when I ask questions, and it feels totally right.

My mom will hopefully make it here to be the support person for my 3-year-old (while, I'd love a quick labor, I hope it's not TOO fast or she will not make it, as she has to drive 8 hours to get here). So it'll be her, my daughter, and my fiance. And those are the only people I want near me. :love

[Past_VNE]

We're having a homebirth, with a midwife who promises to be as hands-off or as hands-on as I desire at the time. I see myself wanting her to be in the other room, leaving us mostly to our own devices. But, having never given birth before, I don't know this for certain. She (they both) seem quite willing to go with the flow. I hope I am not disappointed in the reality, but feel confident that they are both truthful women. (fingers crossed)