June mamas: April 4-10

[dharmama]

Yay - I get to start the new thread two weeks in a row! :LOL

QOW:

Are you having a shower and/or birth blessing (I followed the "respecting the term blessing" way thread, which is why I'm calling it a birth blessing)?

This is my first baby...on my mom's side she will be the first grandchild, first great-grandchild and first baby in 16 years :eek and my family is THRILLED that they get to buy baby stuff. So yes...I will be having a shower. My mom is hosting it - a brunch - at her house on May 23rd and it will mostly be just family.

Then my friend Mandy (a MDC mama :thumb) is hosting a birth blessing at my house on June 5th. That will mostly be my friends, women from church, my doula and yoga teachers from the different studios where I work. I'm also inviting the women from my family - who are a little confused :scratch as to what the whole thing is about but seem to be keeping an open mind.

Really looking forward to both - but especially the birth blessing.

~Erin
:love

[Greaseball]

I'm not having either one. I don't really know a lot of people here.

[Smithie]

I am having one hosted by a pretty traditional cousin (my closest family out here on the Left Coast), so I expect it to be much more "shower" than "blessingway." I'd really get a kick out of seeing all our engineer friends seated in a circle in a guided meditation of my cervix opening like a flower, but they'd just about die. :LOL

[rubelin]

My GF is having a birth blessing for me sometime at the end of this month or beginning of May. We need to figure out a date and all the details but it will basically be some momma friends, goddess friends, mine and Dan's moms and a couple of relatives. Kinda shower-y, but more focused on the blessing part.

With Ben (who is also the first all around) we had a co-ed shower with friends and a family shower. I'm a teeny bit worried that Dan's family will be upset that they aren't being invited to any party (we also are not having a big party for Ben's birthday) but most of me doesn't really care. If one of them wants to throw us a party, we'll happily come but aren't concerned about it otherwise.

[Modesto Doula]

This is my third in under 5 years, so there is no shower action going on here!! Also, people assume that since DH used to do most of the cooking and he now works out of the house that I have all the help I could possibly need, so its not likely I could even get a PP meal from most ppl I know, much less some sibling tending and a nap time.
A doula sister offered to throw me a mother shower (or birth blessing) but I havent taken her up on it yet. I would love to, but I can't host it here at my home and would feel weird asking someone else to host my party, even though I know a few friends would probably be willing.

So for now, no plans. I would like to sign everyone up for PP help though, LOL...

[spatulagirl]

No shower here. I feel weird having a shower. We have no family and just a few close friends though everyone out here has a shower and invites every single person they know. Even if they just met them, they invite them. I have no problem with celebrating the birth of a new one but it seems to be very very materialistic out here which I do have problems with.

That being said, I think they are throwing me something at work. Which is fine... I like my work pals.

Friends... well because of the joys of living overseas on a small navy base most people I am friends with (and whom I would want to invite to a shower) are not talking to each other. We went through this at DS's birthday party and I don't really feel like going through it again. So DH and I don't want one.

[Doodlebugsmom]

Hello everyone! I'm glad you all seem to be doing well. I've been feeling pretty good. I'm definately tired all the time and have had a few really bad dizzy spells where I've come close to fainting. My mw didn't seem too concerned about it, so I guess I shouldn't worry. I read that it is very common to have dizzy spells and even fainting during pregnancy.

As for the QOW, no I won't be having a shower this time. I had three last time, one of which was a surprise thrown by my former collegues who I worked with at a spa. It was really generous of them. I also had a big co-ed one thrown by a friend. It was cool. All of our best friends from out of town came in. Everyone except for me partied really hard that weekend! My mom gave me a traditional shower with just women family members attended. It's amamzing how much stuff you get at showers. I don't need a single thing this time!

[Ceili]

I don't know if I'm having a shower or not. I heard some hinting around the theatre where I work, but nothing beyond that. I hope something comes of it. It might be shallow and materialistic, but I've not had a party thrown for me since I graduated from high school (over 10 years ago).

Since DSO aren't married (and who knows if that will ever change) I didn't get any of the normal wedding stuff and I feel like I'm missing out on the closest thing to rites of passage that our culture has. Sometimes I just crave normalcy.

[eilonwy]

I don't think anyone has anything remotely shower-like planned for us. It's kind of a bummer, because there's lots of stuff we could really use like diapers & covers, (we didn't start cloth with Eli until he was 6 months old) and summer clothes (Eli was a winter baby). If this is a girl, well, I have nothing remotely girly around. My nieces' stuff has already been passed along (they are almost 4 and almost 7) so even though they were spring/summer babies, there's really nothing for this one. :shrug I think that people figure that because they're so close together they'll have plenty of hand-me-downs for one another. But what if this baby is not a slow-grow, like EliBean? It's entirely possible that at 6 months this child could be wearing the same size clothing that Eli's wearing right now, and that at 12 months they'll be in the same size if the NewBean isn't just plain bigger. In fact, if NewBean is average in that respect, that's exactly what *will* happen. Eli is 17 months old and only now does a 6-12 month size fit him properly. My niece wore a 6-12 month size when she was three months old! At any rate.. we'll see what happens. I'm sure that we'll deal!

I'm starting to really feel like I'm in the third trimester. While the discomforts of pregnancy have multiplied, I find that I'm so relieved and in so much less pain than I was with Eli that I'm downright cheerful about bearing it. For example, I had a bad headache yesterday. It was unpleasant, but I almost had to laugh when I realized that aside from when I was sick, it was by far the worst headache I'd had during this pregnancy-- and it didn't hold a candle to the ones I had carrying Eli. I spent my first trimester with him having 4-6 migraines/week, which would incapacitate me for hours on end. The tension headache of the third trimester was constant and totally unrelenting (didn't go away until 2 months pp). I couldn't get any relief at all. The headache I had yesterday subsided when I took some extra strength tylenol and had Mike give me a "beating". Amazing! So I'm feeling much more tired/stressed/achy/stretched than I have with this pregnancy, but it's so much easier than Eli's that they don't compare. Perhaps this bodes well for labor? One can only hope! :LOL

[dharmama]

I think my baby thinks it's funny to dance on my bladder. :rolleyes:

Ay, ye, ye....I've had a couple of kicks (punches?) lately that make me double over....not from pain just from the intensity (such a weird, kind of tickly sensation) and the fact that she keeps directly hitting my bladder. :eek

~Erin
:love

[Steve's Sweety]

We're having 3 showers - 1 co-ed for friends, 1 for my side of the family and 1 for his side of the family. And they are all pretty much in a row.:eek I think 3 is a bit much, but they were all offered and hey, we like parties. :D
OBOL will be the 2nd grandbaby, but only bc SIL got PG first (by 4 wks!) even though they weren't trying. (Whole 'nother issue I won't go into right now). But they are in Cali and we are here near the fam. I do feel kind of weird though bc they only put a handful of things on their (1) registry and we have 3 and have a ton of stuff on them.

[Smithie]

Oh, God. I cannot breathe. I don't know how this happened so quickly!

I couldn't sleep last night, because, well, I can't breathe. I feel horrible. Thank God I can lie down and try to :zzz whenever I want to today. You mamas who work up until the due date are heroes. Or martyrs. :p

[eilonwy]

ah, the bladder dance. i know it well! this baby seems to think that my colon is the most fabulous toy ever, and it's been causing me some problems.. every time newbean kicks/grabs/punches my colon, it spasms and i go flying to the bathroom :(. very unpleasant!

eli has taken to admonishing the newbean when he gets kicked. :LOL it's hilarious. he says "no, sibling! don't kick!" because it happens most when he's trying to nurse. it's kind of cute. or maybe i'm strange :)

i've also noticed that when newbean is head down (still flipping around alot!) and turns his/her head, i lose my balance. i remember this from elibean, but it didn't happen until closer to the end. i think this baby is just sitting a lot lower, yk?

[mattjule]

Well, I wasn't going to have a shower with Tain-most of the people that would be invited are ppl I never talk to unless I'm having a shower (i.e. MIL's friends from church, etc.). I decided I didn't want one b/c I feel like I only have contact with them when I am receiving presents and that just feels yucky. A good friend of ours got together with MIL and threw me one anyway, but only invited some close friends and it was co-ed. Then a few months after he was born we traveled 2 hrs away to my hometown and had a shower with all the ladies that I had grown up with. That way they got to see the baby too.

This time around, we live 3 states away and have no family and really no friends. Dh has 2 friends from work, one male, one female, so it isn't likely that we'll do anything.

I would have liked a blessing rather than a shower. Maybe my gf who is coming out for the birth and I can do something special when she gets here.

Rynna-Tain was born in March in CA so he was practically a summer baby. I have a bag of stuff I was going to send to a pregnancy crisis center (but since they couldn't help me w/postage I'm not doing it) so I probably have a fair amt of stuff I can send your way. Also, MIL bought a bunch of outfits for the boys for summer and I don't need that many clothes (not to mention I don't like separate shirt/shorts for little babies). I can't return them since she got them at Tuesday Morning. Let me know if you are interested/what you are interested in.

I still feel weird about the size of my belly. It feels really small. DH thinks I am crazy. When I catch my reflection somewhere, I am surprised by the size of it b/c looking down it certainly doesn't look that big. Rowan is moving around a lot, though, so I am not worried about his health. I have a mw appt tomorrow, hopefully I am just hallucinating!

And shortness of breath! God, if I eat anything, sometimes even without eating, I feel like I can't breathe. Mw told me studies show it is psychosomatic. I really didn't appreciate that comment. Like I want to feel like I can't breathe. I think she meant it to be reassuring, like "don't worry, you and baby are still getting plenty of oxygen" instead it sounded like I was making it all up. But it certainly does suck. I have found that walking helps. Gravity is a powerful thing. :) Lying down also helps. Well, I need to get going. Have a great day!

[3girlsmommy]

Warning pity party ahead!!
The QOW is a big sore spot for me right now. I would love to have a shower or a birth blessing or just acknowledgment that I am in fact creating a life. It's not that I want presents because we really only need a few things but for me it's just about feeling special. My mom threw me a shower for my first but I basiclly did all the work and she complained about having to do anything related to my shower and made me feel like I should be grateful for what she did do. :rolleyes: With my second well I disappointed everyone and had another girl so of course there were no celebrations and barely anyone in my family even sent a card. If I would just have a boy there would be a big celebration but since I wouldn't find out what the baby is that I'm carrying then I get nothing!:( I actually had a huge breakdown yesterday about all this. I went to a wonderful family and freind filled shower for one of my friends on Saturday and then one of my other friends that lives across the country was telling me about the showers/teas her friends are throwing her and I just got so depressed.
My neighbors might do a small lunch thing for me which will be nice but they are not the types to do a birth blessing.
Sorry about the pity party!

[eilonwy]

my belly seems small to me, too. i really think that this baby is smaller. both mike and my mother say it's just that i'm carrying differently, that i was this big carrying eli but it just doesn't seem possible. of course, part of it is that everything was sooo painful. my round ligaments and skin stretching were unbearable with eli, and this time i hardly notice my skin at all and my round ligaments only if i turn too fast or sneeze. :LOL

the breathing thing being psychosomatic doesn't make much sense to me... your brain can register even a very tiny shift in your oxygen saturation.. like, 2%. if your level goes from 100% to 98%, you're going to feel short of breath even though you're still technically getting enough. this happens to me all the time (asthma :rolleyes: ) and i've paid attention to it. at 97%, you can feel like you're not getting enough air even though you may not have any other symptoms of oxygen deprivation. at any rate.. i find that changing positions helps. i get up and kind of wiggle my back around and get a few good deep breaths in and i feel lots better :). of course, i tend to get used to a limited supply of oxygen very quickly... the last time i went in for a breathing treatment, my lips, nailbeds and fingers were blue and i honestly thought it was because i was cold until she hooked me up to the pulse oximiter. :LOL after the breathing treatment, i was dizzy with relief and realized that i had been feeling so cold because of the lack of oxygen when the blood started rushing around to my extremities. it was pretty funny, i was so relieved. :LOL

argh!! it should be naptime, but someone is fighting it!!!

[Greaseball]

There should be an online "I don't have any friends" blessingway!

[Steve's Sweety]

Greaseball - Excellent idea, even though I'm new here and don't really know what that is.:LOL

And shortness of breath! God, if I eat anything, sometimes even without eating, I feel like I can't breathe. Mw told me studies show it is psychosomatic. :eek What a poor choice of words to say to a pregnant woman! I have I guess been lucky as I have not experienced that yet at 30 wks. I feel like I should bc I am short and short torsoed. Maybe OBOL is low. I do have to pee a lot.:rolleyes:

[Modesto Doula]

Why dont we do it? We could throw our own birth blessing... We can do something fabulous for us, I know it.

One of the things we could start now would be a labor bracelet... At a birth blessing the participants might be wrapped in string, then the string is cut between them and wrapped around their wrist to be cut off when they hear that the birth is done and baby is well.

We could kinda combine that with the blessing-beads and mail it around. The first person could mail off a very long piece of thread and a bead, with a blessing written for the momma to recieve. the first momma reads her blessing, threads her bead and wraps her wrist and cuts the string. Then she adds a bead for the next momma and writes a blessing for her before she mails it...

Then we can keep them on until we hear the group of birth stories...

How about it?

[3girlsmommy]

Brooke- I LOVE that idea! Each person would keep a bead and a piece of string right? That would be very cool! Now who wants to organize and start it. We don't have much time left!!! :)

[seedling]

I think the bracelet idea is pretty cool. I'd be into doing it.

And speaking of beads...I've got to get my butt down to the bead store to find a really cool one for my midwife. She has a necklace with one bead for each baby she's helped out with since she's started her HB practice.

As for the QoW. I'm having one shower this time. I had five last time! One from my girlfriends, one from my co-workers, one from my Mom/hometown friends, one from my church and one from my MIL's friends/home fellowship. This time, it's just going to be the office folks. I expect we will get quite a few packages after the baby is born though. There's not that much stuff we need...some non-mainstream stuff that no one's going to get us anyway. But beyond that, not much. For the office shower, I sent them a registry list at a cloth diaper on-line place but I don't think anyone will be brave enough to actually order anything. The other thing I specifically asked for was meals for after the baby was born and for gift certs for take out from local restaurants. I also registered for the few things we did need from BRU and also a bunch of books for both kids.

Got to go. Meltdown in progress.

[Ceili]

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one thinking my stomach isn't all that big. I mean I'm still wearing my regular clothes (granted I lost 45 pounds before we got pregnant and I've always worn my pants on my hips... but still... ) My midwife said my measurements are all on track (I did lose a 1.5 pounds last month... but I blame that on the stomach flu)

And I love the bracelet idea.

[irishgreengables]

OUCH!!

I am 30 weeks and find that my walking is sometimes impaired from the pain in my pelvic region. Apparently this is the round ligaments thing? Is it supposed to hurt THIS much? Seriously, I have been unable to lift my right leg tonight because of the pain.

QOW: No showers here. I think my "people" are tired of celebrating our children. First, there was a shower for a newborn we were adopting 2 years ago, but that adoption fell through (Thankfully, we still have the newborn stuff). Then, my sister threw a shower for our 2 before they came home together. Then, they came home and gifts were sent. Then, we had a baptism and gifts were sent/brought. The baptism was just this past November, so we do not expect much this time around. Oh well. I've got cloth diapers from ds (both will be in them at same time) and my breast and bed. We're set.

Peace,

[eilonwy]

Finally, something I can do!! I loved making friendship bracelets when I went to camp, and I've got loads of embroidery floss around. I'm sure I could figure something out. I don't have any beads, though; those are not exactly toddler friendly! :LOL How many of us are there, anyway? I could easily make a dozen bracelets in the same colors, and then we could mail the beads seperately on a separate string, and cut one loose as we have our babies to attach to the bracelets... does that make sense?

[shelbean91]

I really want to pop into the due date threads more often, but I usually miss them for one reason or another.

I feel like I'm ready to explode and I'm only 29-30 weeks. I don't think I ever felt (or was) this big with with the other 2, but maybe it's just selective memory. I have heartburn and have to pee all the time, when before it was one or the other depending on whether baby was high or low.

I'm thinking of having a shower for myself just for the celebration, not for gifts. I didn't really get a shower for the first 2. With dd, I was admitted to the hospital at 32 weeks, so even if we had planned something, we wouldn't have been able to have it. A few friends of mine planned something the night before we were scheduled to induce at 35 weeks, but dd decided to be born then instead of waiting the extra day.

With ds, he also came early and I was very overwhelmed with working full time and taking care of dd, who was only 23 mos when ds was born. Ds was born at 35 weeks, but I was put on bedrest at 34 weeks.

With this baby, I'd like to throw a celebration with invites that say 'no gifts necessary' but don't know for sure how to word it. I would like to ideally wait until after he's here, but I'll really be overwhelmed then. I have finals at school the 2nd week in May and if this baby comes early like the first 2, I'll actually have a May baby instead of a June baby. (He'd be here the last week in May if he follows the same pattern of being early.)

I really don't have anyone near me who could throw a shower for me- so I'd have to do it myself. Is that too much, even if not asking for gifts? (We really don't need much anyway.....)

[Queen of Cups]

QOW: A friend of mine from church is throwing a shower for me at church on May 2nd. I'm excited about that, though I don't need much more stuff other than a few big-ticket items that I doubt we'll get. It is definitely the thought that counts, though! My MIL offered to throw a shower, but since she lives 16 hours away, she offered to throw it there and then mail me the gifts (all me and DH's relatives live in that area). I thought that was really weird and declined... I don't think the ladies at work are doing anything - I work at a small non-profit, so there's only 3-5 of us that are permanent employees there.

I feel huge, too. I've had horrible heartburn the last couple of nights. This baby seems to be huge, though! I can't believe how active it is - I feel movement every few minutes all day every day. Its still poking its butt out all the time, too! Its too cute...

[rubelin]

Well, I don't feel like I'm all that big, but I definitely don't fit most of my clothes now. It's actually getting depressing, because I really need some clothes and we are totally broke. I tried seeing if I could just get some bigger sizes at Lane Bryant (I have an account there) but nothing worked right.

I love the birth-bracelet idea, and I just found my beads, I'll have to go find a great one :)

We got some bad news about my SIL, who's due a few weeks before me. It seems she was in for an appt yesterday (not sure why a Sunday but FIL is not the best with details or accurate info :rolleyes: ) and the baby's heart rate was very high so they wanted to take the baby now (she's about 34 - 35 wks) They sent her to the hospital for some testing but the lungs are too immature so they are keeping her there until the lungs are developed enoug hand then taking the baby asap. Like I said, I don't know all the details and it sounds very weird to me that just a high heart rate would be enough to neccesitate an early section, but it's still scary and all. They have a 2.5 yr old and having to deal with a hospital stay and then a preemie with possible special care issues just seems so hard. Could you please send her some prayers/healing??

OK, gotta finish up here. 'Night all!!

[Smithie]

I love the bracelet idea, too, although it will stretch the limits of my artistic ability. :o

Julie, I cleared out my PM box. Sorry about that!

[Modesto Doula]

Each momma would keep her bead and bracelet on, until we hear from all the mommas in our blessing.

We could, instead of one bead, all mail several beads (however many mommas we get together) and $ for shipping to a central location and then one person could mail out the collections to everyone on the list. Then we could schedule a day/time for our online blessing, when each of us gets to give our blessing as we all string our beads... That would entail a bit of work and more expense for all, though (and one organized person!!)

Anyone have any other ideas? I've seen a few online baby shower things while looking around, but they dont seem to be what we are looking for...

Brooke

[3girlsmommy]

Brooke- I like your idea of all of us sending in enough beads so everyone has the same bracelet and then one person mailing them back out to everyone. It really should only cost 37 cents(is that the cost of a stamp these days?) to mail them out to everyone and unless the beads were large you could use regular envelopes or you could get small heavy duty mailing envelops. Maybe if everyone sent in a dollar and the beads it should cover the heavier envelops and postage. I need to go to BJ's sometime this week so I could check out how much the heavy duty envelops are. I could even be talked into organizing the beads and having them sent to me. The bracelets would just be a string of embrodery floss though, nothing fancy. Let me know!

[eilonwy]

Well, I could do something semi-fancy with the bracelets (not over the top, but more than just a bit of string) and mail them. The beads will definately need to go in padded envelopes; when things like that go in regular envelopes, the mess up machines at the post offices and cause loads of trouble for everyone. :LOL The cheapest of the padded envelopes would work nicely for it. How many of us are there, anyway? Have we all signed on to the roll call?

[curlygrrl]

Hi everyone! I'm sorry I haven't posted much! Last week I had a cold (along with the rest of my family) and then I had contractions every 20-40 minutes for 24 hours! It really scared us but everything is fine, I wasn't dialating.

I would love to participate in the bracelet idea, however we decide to do it.

Paula- I'm in a lot of pain too, my hips are killing me and some days I have sciatica so bad I can barely walk. My midwife told me to go swimming but I haven't gotten around to it yet.

Here's a question for you all, my mom is really against us having DS (3.5yo) at the birth. Of course, we will have someone there to watch him or take him elsewhere if need be, but we'd very much like to have him there if he wants to be.

It's very important to me to have my mother there, she was a huge source of support to me with the birth of my DS. But I'm worried about her negative attitude about having him there. Any comments/suggestions?

Tamara

[3girlsmommy]

You should be able to get the padded envelopes at BJ's or Staples in "bulk" fairly cheap. I llike the idea of "fancier" bracelets too! :) With the padded envelopes it will probably cost a little bit more to mail maybe 50 cents, because of the size the weight should be minimal. So eilonwy I think you got yourself elected!!:LOL

[eilonwy]

Okay.. I'm thinking three or four colors... what should they be? I think DMC has a website; I've got just about every color they make (I buy huge amounts when they go on sale! :LOL). I'll post a new thread on this board, and a poll. Right after I deal with POOPY PANTS AGAIN!!! (where's the "pulling my hair out" smilie?!) :irked

[Steve's Sweety]

As far as the bead/bracelet thing goes, I know nothing about beads or blessingaway things, so I'm afraid it wouldn't hold the significance for me. But if there's some way I can participate that I might be able to understand and connect with, please share.


eilon - i've also noticed that when newbean is head down (still flipping around alot!) and turns his/her head, i lose my balance. How can you tell what the heck position babe is in? I never have a clue how OBOL is situated in there.


irish - I was having that kind of pain pretty bad around wks 24-28, and my midwife did say it was the ligaments. The funny thing is that it was my left leg, and she said it's usually the right one.

--------------

For the last several days, OBOL's movements have changed. Where I used to get kicked, now I just feel him/her squirming/rolling/turning in there. It's the coolest thing. I kept reading about how everyone said feeling the baby move was one of the the best feelings in the world, but when I was getting kicks I wasn't all that thrilled. I mean, I thought it was cool and all, especially at first, but it would almost startle me in a way. I used to *hate* having my stomach touched so it made me kind of sqeemish IYKWIM. Now, these movements, these I can see people saying that about. They make me feel in such awe of the little person in there:D

[Greaseball]

Well yesterday I got the bright idea to do a somersault (on the floor, not midair!) because dd looked like she was trying and I wanted to show her how...

OUCH! What made me think that being almost 8 months pregnant wouldn't somehow get in the way?!

[3girlsmommy]

Greaseball- sorry but:LOL at the thought of you doing a somersault!

[eilonwy]

Okay, i'm getting ready to do the poll now! I just have one request: could we please call it something other than a blessingway bracelet? There's a whole huge thread about the term "Blessingway" in TAO, and while I don't expect anyone to read it (it's really long!) all, I think it would be much more respectful to call it something else.

Oh, and how can I tell it's a head? Well, it's bigger than the tush, and harder. The buns are only semi-round, but the head is most definately round. And when it rolls around in your pelvis, you definately feel it, and it seems way bigger than I know it is. Like a bowling ball rolling around in there! :LOL

[mattjule]

So I guess I should have read all this BEFORE reading the bracelet thread and posting my addy. Seems silly to send addies to me if Rynna is going to be doing all the mailing! So I'll just go find a cool bead and mail it and that's all I need to do at this point, right?

Could someone tell me the gist of the whole disrespectful to call it a blessingway thing? I just don't understand how honoring a mama on her journey to birth/ "blessing her way" is disrespectful of a word. Not that it matters that much, it is just an easy term to use that most people know.

So have we settled on how much $ to send with the bead? Or should we send stamps instead? Seems easier/lighter/safer to send 2-3 stamps then cash/change. Oh, but we would need to help out w/ the cost of envelopes, huh?

Smithie-no prob-it wasn't anything important. :) I am excited to get started!

Okay, here is a topic that is going to make me sound bad but why is it customary to give gifts to your mw and asst? I mean, you are paying them to perform a service, it isn't like they donate their time to you. Don't get me wrong, I love both the mw's I have had. My first mw I sent a thank you card and a pic of our son. But I have been reading all these threads about what sort of gift to give and now I feel like "Am I a total jerk for not getting them gifts?" At the same time I feel like I shouldn't be required to, like it shouldn't be one of those unspoken but understood polite things to do. I am not going to have the money or the time to invest in a thoughtful gift and I don't think I should have to anyway. That sounds really bad and like I said, I really love my mw's but come on, isn't the fee and a heartfelt thank you enough?

[Doodlebugsmom]

Rynna, I know the tread you're talking about. We could call it a birth blessing bracelet, or something like that. I can't believe NewBean is turning around like that! That must be quite a feeling. Mine has been head down since at least 20 weeks. His head is down so far, I don't see how he could turn at this point! My mw had me feel his head at my last appt. It is soooo cool. It rests right at the top of my pubic bone. I've had a tremendous amount of pressure on my bladder and urethra. Then, of course, he sticks his feet up into my ribs!

Steve's Sweety, at your next pre-natal, ask your care provider to tell you what position the baby is in. I knew mine was head down because I constantly have feet in my ribs. I had no idea the head would be so far down, though.

OMG! I can't believe you tried a somersault, Grease! :LOL That is too funny!

[dharmama]

Could someone tell me the gist of the whole disrespectful to call it a blessingway thing?

It's a pretty long thread but basically the discussion is that a woman who used to post on MDC who is Navajo/Dine felt it was disrespectful for non-Dine women to call whatever ceremony they are having a Blessingways as they are such an integral and significant ritual for Dine women (and men too I think). Something that is prepared for for years.

When I first started reading it I was like :o here we go again...overanalyzing...being hyper-PC sensitive etc. but when I read the whole thread and reflected on it...talked about it with friends IRL...the points that were made resonated with me. So much so that I asked the woman who is hosting my "blessingway" to rename it as a birth blessing.

Anyway....sorry that was such a long-winded answer. Okay...and now I'm off to check out the bracelet thread.

~Erin
:love

PS ~ Steve's Sweety ~ Here's an article you might find helpful: Beads and Blessings (http://www.mothering.com/11-0-0/html/11-2-0/blessingway.shtml)

Oh and Julie...I have two midwives...one is an avid knitter and the other a quilter. I am planning - depending on who attends my birth - to get a gift certificate for the appropriate supply stores in town.

[mattjule]

I didn't think that was long-winded. :) And thanks, that helps, though I guess I'd have to read the whole thread to agree. Right now I feel the way you felt when you first started reading it, but we will call it a birth blessing, if that is what everyone is comfortable with. :)

Sooooo, I may not feel any bigger, but I did get bigger since my last appt. measuring 28 cm and I am 28 wks so right on track, which is what I've been the whole time. Baby's head was down (for the moment-he's mostly been transverse). I gained 8 lbs. Not much of it is baby considering the way my clothes fit lately. I have been eating way too much and really poorly, but I had hoped that it wasn't that bad. I am so looking forward to good weather and walking! A little self-control would be good, too. :)

[irishgreengables]

I LOVE the bracelet idea...especially since so many of the people I know IRL would never do something like this (so it wouldn't happen for me otherwise).

Today, the ligament pain has been so heinous that dh stayed home to be with dc and help me out. We all went to our health club and I floated in the pool while dh massaged me. It was very helpful. It IS indeed mostly on the right and probably the most surprising thing about pregnancy to me. I just did not expect this. Does it end soon?

Our health club has a warm pool that is 92-93 degrees. I called my OB to ask what they thought and the nurse said I shouldn't go in. But it is not even as warm as baths I take at home. Do any of you see a problem with this?

Peace,

[dharmama]

Our health club has a warm pool that is 92-93 degrees. I called my OB to ask what they thought and the nurse said I shouldn't go in. But it is not even as warm as baths I take at home. Do any of you see a problem with this?

:scratch 92-93 isn't even close to normal body temperature. I don't see what the problem could be. And, like you, I know my baths are hotter than that. I would just be sure to drink lots of water before, during and after swimming in the warm water. It's easy to get dehydrated in the water and not realize it.

I've been swimming/floating in a warm pool for the last few weeks and it feels heavenly! :)

Just got back from my mw apt. I measured fine but she could only find the faintest heartbeat. She did some palpatations and said ah-ha this baby is resting on with her spine on yours, which is why the hb sounded so far away and probably why my lower back has been so achy. :o

~Erin
:love

[mattjule]

Tamara-I got wrapped up in the birth blessing thing and totally forgot about your question! I was at my sister's birth when I was 3. I did not find it scary. I would examine what you want to remember: not having your son there b/c your mom didn't approve or having your son be a part of this wonderful experience with or without her approval?

Maybe if you talk with her about WHY she disapproves and discuss how you are preparing him, how important it is to you that he is a part of it, how you have plans in place in case he needs to leave the room, etc. Also, if it were my mom (I don't really know if your relationship with your mom could handle this) I would be honest and say "Look, it is really important to me that you are at the birth. I need your support and love, it was so vital to my labor experience with ds. BUT it is important that ds be a part of this, too. I need you to come to terms with our decision in this. I need you to let go of your disapproval. Ultimately, it is not your decision to make and you need to respect that you are not going to change our minds. I want you to be at the birth very much, but I am concerned that you will not be 100% supportive if you can't let this go and if you can't be supportive, you won't be able to help me. If you can't help me or your disapproval causes tension, you will have to leave and I REALLY don't want you to leave. So can we agree to disagree and leave it at that?" My mom has a lot of grown children that don't make the best of decisions, so sometimes I also have to remind her that we make good decisions :rolleyes: and that, while she may not agree with me, she has to admit that the decisions we make tend to work well for our family. She is usually willing to admit that and then she really has no ground to stand on and lets go.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best possible outcome. But I know, for my life, the decisions I have made to please someone else are the only decisions I regret. And I was devastated when I missed a sibling's birth b/c a well-meaning friend of my mom's wouldn't let me in the room. Birth is really magical, even for small kids and definitely worth him being there. Think of how different he will view birth as an adult. Think of how less skittish he will be when his wife is laboring. It is a legacy I think about with my ds all the time. It is important.

[curlygrrl]

Julie- Thanks so much! That's so neat that you were at your sister's birth! My mom said she's heard that even if kids do fine during the birth, they have nightmares afterwards. I ran a search on this board and only ran across one mom whose kid had problems and they were younger. I also asked the midwife and she had never heard such a thing either. Your suggestion on how to talk to her about it is really good.

As far as giving a gift to the midwives, I have mixed feelings about it. With DS's birth, I switched to the midwives' care at 28 weeks, and there were 5-6 midwives so I didn't get to know any of them really well. I paid $1700 out of pocket for the birth. It never really crossed my mind to give a gift.

This time around the practice is basically down to 2 midwives and I've been going there since the beginning so I feel a lot closer to them than before. I don't feel "obligated" to give a gift but I'm starting to feel like I want to. It really means the world to me that I have the opportunity to give birth in a freestanding birth center and they're the ones who made it possible.

Wow, I'm really rambling.

As far as the baby's position goes, I can feel his/her back sometimes but haven't been able to detect the head or butt. I'm afraid the baby really feels like hes/shes transverse right now. When I went in to the midwife with the labor pains, I tried to get her to tell me where she thought the baby was but she didn't.

When do they start being really concerned about the position?

[dharmama]

Yesterday my mw said at 35 weeks they start really looking at the position.

I'm 30 weeks and my baby is ALL over the place...but mostly seems to be transverse or kind of diagonal....and yesterday she was posterior.

I'm not too concerned at this point but I'm definitely becoming more aware of my posture...trying to take more walks...stretch and open my hips etc.

~Erin
:love

[Smithie]

Today at Babyrobics, the teacher asked who was breastfeeding. There were at least 8 postpartum mommies in the room, and 2 people raised their hands. TWO.

:angry

I know that it's really easy for me to sit up on my high horse when I haven't even had my baby yet, but 2/8? 25%? What the hell went wrong with the other six mom/baby pairs? These are all SAHMs, wealthy educated women with lots of resources, and they obviously adore their babies and put lots on energy into doing baby-enrichment type things like Babyrobics. How can they not know how much their baby would get out of their milk that can't be gotten any other way?

Am I a jerk to even think this?

[irishgreengables]

Had my 30 week apt. today and it really hit me how close we all are. Can you believe it?

Also talked extensively with my doula about finalizing the birth plan. Are you all writing out a birth plan? Also, for those delivering in a hospital, did you write out an advanced directive? If so, did you ahve to make it legal somehow?

Peace,

[seedling]

Smithie, nope you aren't a jerk. I would be/am appalled too. Take that attitude with you into your bf relationship with your new baby and you both will benefit.

Speaking of position...saw my midwife today. Baby is head down. It's hanging out on my left side mostly. I was really lopsided today.

I've had a really unproductive day. My midwife lives a little over an hour away and it turns into a whole day affair going to see her. I was so wiped out when I got home that I crashed on the couch for an hour. It's so strange to be this close to the due date. We scheduled my home visit today ... how can it possibly be right around the corner?

I've not a clue about a gift for my MW. I didn't give one at all for my first labor/delivery MW. But it was in a hospital setting and I'd not known my midwife that long (I switched providers really late in my pregnancy last time). I know this MW so much better this time. But I've not come up with a gift idea yet. Julie, have you thought about making a gift for your MW? You could do a rice bag scented with lavendar or something.

Okay, got to go. DH home and we are going OUT for dinner. Too tired to cook.

[Smithie]

I am going to give my MWs books for their lending library - I have way too many damned pregnancy books, and they are missing some pretty specific things, like "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth." I may also give them software if there's anything in particular that they need - it's about 300% cheaper (literally) at the company store than retail.

Paula, I filled out an advance directive when I found out I was pg. There are free forms online for most states. I'm not really worried about dh or family opposing my wishes, so I just had it witnessed by two people as per the instructions on the form. It was important to me that my "unplug me" orders not take effect while I was still carrying the baby, so I specified that, but for most everything else I just checked the "let my husband decide" box. Let's hope he doesn't have any secret reason to get rid of me! :p

[LizD]

In the "old days" it was considered usual for the husband to tip the ob, even. It didn't occur to me when using a birth center and I hadn't met the midwife before labor, but this time I feel differently. Also I am a doula now and it is very nice when people tip or otherwise give a gift. Not many do, and I don't expect it, but it is very touching and in the case of a tip truly helpful. My midwife has admired a lot of my handmade silver and bronze jewellery so we will probably order something from our friends who make it for her as well as a tip. And tips for the assistants.

One midwife (not mine) I spoke to said she has never, ever gotten her whole fee. Either people are paying out of pocket and have to make arrangements, or she has to accept what their insurance will cover. So a cash tip can be very nice for people, though many feel it's callous or shallow. Even though you are paying a fee, and they are being paid out of that, a tip is something just for them to do as they wish and I think is a nice thing to do if you can afford it.

I am not likely to have any kind of baby shower as I don't know many people here well enough and my husband's family isn't very enthusiastic about this pregnancy, and we don't seem to be the kind of people others throw parties for. I would like to have some kind of potluck or party before the birth just so we can see everyone before then. An un-baby shower.

I am conflicted about registering, as I've said before. The few things we need are big-ticket items and I honestly couldn't find anything smaller to pad out the registry if I tried, because I like to keep such things at a bare minimum. We also have kept or borrowed smaller things, and I sew so there are already at least two rainbow silk/flannel blankets. So the only things on a BRU registry would be the carseat, playpen/center thing and the stroller. I would love to register for cloth diapers at diaperaps or ask for gift certificates but I doubt anyone would contribute to that. Unfortunately we could really use the help.

My sister-in-law just had a very early miscarriage that she is not really upset about at all. My mother-in-law told me how she herself, however, was really upset and disappointed, that she was really excited about having another grandchild. (!) I was amazed, not that she feels that way, because she obviously feels my niece is her real grandchild, but that she would say it to me. (My daughter is her first grandchild) She is going to be in Europe around the time our baby is due and after that doesn't know what her vacation plans are yet. (!)

30 week visit this week and though I thoroughly enjoy pregnancy I am starting to think it will be nice not to worry about the protein vs carbs thing anymore. Because it is in vogue with all the atkins nonsense it is annoying me to have to think about it. But I also don't want an enormous baby so I am putting up with it. It is getting hot here and that means most protein that I can eat- veggie fake meat products, beans, soy, tofu, dairy- are starting to seem very heavy and off-putting.

Since my daughter was born at 37 weeks I suppose I really should be getting more of this ready and in order, or at least planned out, but I am less motivated to do so than I was say ten weeks ago, when I had to restrain myself because it was so early. We have a moses basket and I'll order the diapers at the beginning of May, and the birthkit whenever my midwife gives me the instructions, and really that's all one needs until the birth other than a carseat. We're not doing a nursery so anything else can really wait.

I have been having more vivid dreams than ever, which I hardly thought possible. Both the happy kind about the baby and the horrible kind about deformities/loss/weirdness. They are very interesting though and reassuring in their normalcy.

I am now only able to sleep deeply between five and ten in the morning, which with a homeschooled ten year old is not good. But we are an erratic and flexible household so I guess I should just accept it's who we are. She doesn't care for getting up early either.

The consensus among the old ladies at passover dinner was that this is a boy. "You don't look like a cow." I found it charming actually because in this age of everyone knowing the gender ahead of time there is less opportunity for all this traditional speculation and wondering who is right. No one has expressed even a remote idea that I am having a girl. Anyone who has an opinion says it's a boy. I am starting to get excited to find out myself and hope I will not feel disappointment at one gender over another. I felt like this when I had my daughter and by the time she was born I didn't really care anymore. This time, though, I have to admit I really want a boy. When I had her everyone did say it was a girl even though I wanted a boy then too. Sometimes I think it might be more likely for the siblings to be close if they are both girls, with ten years between them, but I know plenty of sets of siblings that far apart who are close despite being opposite genders.

So since I am here so infrequently these days I have now hogged a considerable amount of space, as my belly is doing. At least once a day I think, there *must* be two babies in here!

[Smithie]

LizD wrote:

"I am starting to think it will be nice not to worry about the protein vs carbs thing anymore. Because it is in vogue with all the atkins nonsense it is annoying me to have to think about it."

Hear, hear! I finally decided to supplement today with an all-natural whey powder that my GNC lady recommended (we are good buddies bc I am always there buying Atkins shakes for my husband, ROFL.) I just cannot get 80-100 g of protein into my ever-more-compressed tummy, and I find that in forcing the protein down, I am consistently compromising on fruits and veggies.

Anyhow, I mixed the stuff with some Atkins-friendly chocolate milk and blended it with ice, and it just tasted FANTASTIC to me and I felt great after I drank it, so I guess my body doesn't mind getting its protein this way.

[3girlsmommy]

I'm sick of the whole protein thing too. I just want to eat and not worry about it. I'm not sure if I have 11 more weeks of eating eggs in me! I bought Kashie Go lean crunch this week for breakfast to give me an alternative to eggs for breakfast. Every once and a while I rebel and eat regular cereal for breakfast!:LOL My midwife would have had a cow over the meal we ate last night, whole wheat goulash, carrot sticks and bread. YUMMM! It's what I was craving!

Have a great day everyone!

[eilonwy]

Argh, i'm having a rough time! If I don't get ..um... regulated... soon I'm sure I"m going to explode. :LOL It's really driving me insane!! I'm cramming down as much fiber as I can but it doesn't seem to be doing the trick. Ick.

Yesterday Eli saw a National Geographic "Lullabies From Around the World" CD and got all excited when he saw the yellow rectangle. He totally impressed the women in the botique when he said "National Graphic!" and got all excited. :LOL It was pretty cool. If it hadn't been so darned expensive, I'd have bought the darned thing.

NewBean is starting to settle, but I'm hoping not permanently. There's been less flipping, but for the past two days NB has been head up and kind of diagonal. :rolleyes: It's not a comfortable position for me now, to say nothing of labor. Hopefully things will change!

[mattjule]

I posted a list over in the birth blessing rollcall, so those who want to participate, make sure you are on it! Rynna is giving everyone until the 10th to pm her with their addy and she'll pm back her addy, so there is a time limit.

LizD-We found with our wedding registry that people didn't buy any of the big ticket items-I thought there would be more group gifts than there were. If you think people will buy directly off your registry, I would register for little stuff you don't need and return it all for store credit to apply to things you do need. It's a little dishonest, but it would help pay for those items you can't afford. Of course, if your friends and family are like ours, they won't even look at your registry or they will and buy the items somewhere else so I don't know if that is opening a can of worms or not.

Smithie-you have a right to be outraged about bfing! A lot of moms I have encountered find it to be less intuitive than they thought it would be and you mention LLL to them and you see their face change like they are thinking "Those hippies? I wouldn't be caught dead at one of those meetings!" And then there are people like my sister who don't like the "inconvenience" of bfing. She would rather fix a bottle, prop it on a pillow and sit in a chair across the room than attach the baby to her breast. It's really sad. I think formula is so readily available and so publicly acceptable that a lot of mamas don't have much incentive to bf when the going gets hard, especially if they are not advocates themselves and don't have a lot of support. So most of the time when I see a situation like that, it makes me really sad, b/c they will never truly understand what they are missing.

I am not worrying too much about protein. I don't measure my diet in grams. I try to eat a balanced variety of food. I know when I need to eat protein b/c I am aware of what I have eaten earlier in the day and also, when I need protein, I crave high protein foods or sugar. So I eat protein. But trying to adhere to, say, the Brewer diet for example, would pretty much spiral me into a depression, b/c I would hate it and I would slip up a lot and then I would feel guilty about it/ start hating being pregnant. So I try to be good to my body and my baby w/o focusing too much on a controlled diet.

My baby is head down too. He's been in the same position for about 3 days now so it is beginning to look like that is where he will stay from here on out. Very similar to what happened with Tain.

[LizD]

I know I can be heavy on the simple carbohydrates so while I don't count grams or calories I do pay attention and try to avoid the unnecessary bread and pasta types of food. Especially since as a vegetarian I drink soymilk and can only stand to drink chocolate milk, cannot bear low fat dairy products, etc. and this translates to a bit of fat and sugar. So it is less than worrying about the protein than watching the carbohydrates and fat. Protein is easy to get too much of, really. Also lately I have wanted outright chocolate and candy, which I usually want during morning sickness but didn't this time. And when pregnant all I have to do is indulge the craving for white bread toast and a cookie and wham I'll have a yeast infection. I have also been worrying about eating too many eggs. Pregnancy is one of the rare times I like eggs ok and eat them a lot, but I have read that some babies end up being sensitized to them if their moms eat too many??! Then again Julia Child is ancient and swears by her egg a day.

[eilonwy]

Liz, I too had heard about the eggs.. and peanut butter, and shrimp, and milk all possibly causing sensitivities in children who's mothers overindulged during pregnancy. Because we have a family history of nasty allergies, I gave up peanut butter and shellfish in my third trimester with Eli and while I was nursing him. He introduced himself to peanut butter about a month or two ago (long story) and has had no problems with it, but he's still not getting shellfish until he's two. I'm glad I did it, even though it was a lot of work for me. I've given those things up again this time around (the shellfish was a lot easier since we can't afford it right now. :LOL)

Eggs and milk are different, though. The protiens are much more easily digested (by you) so less of them cross the placenta. I also firmly believe that if your baby couldn't tolerate them, you wouldn't be able to either. While I was pregnant with Eli, I couldn't tolerate even the tiniest amounts of caffiene or alcohol; I learned after he was born (and I could stand the taste of caffienated beverages again) that he is very sensitive to it. I drink 6 oz of Silk Coffee Soylatte, and Eli's bouncing off the walls and miserable 4 hours later. :( I have had, since Eli was born, a grand total of 20 oz of Coca-cola. Each time I didn't pump, Eli was miserable. I learned very quickly that it was either up to me to remember to pump in an hour, or that I should just avoid the caffiene. I also couldn't eat chocolate until this pregnancy (when my milk dried up).

[irishgreengables]

Julie, my baby seems to have settld in for the long haul too. About 2 weeks ago, I felt her do a major turn/twist -- all sort of things throughout the day. SInce then, she has had 2 hands reaching out to me from below and 2 feel kicking from above. OB yesterday said sometimes the babies just go there early and hang out. I swear she gets a kick out of tickling me, though. Last night, she was fluttering her hands in my lower uterus and it was tickling so much. I LOVE that feeling.

BTW, my OB (as opposed to her nurse who previously said NO) said to go ahead and spend time in the 92/93 degree pool. She agreed it would be good for the round ligament pain. Also, we arranged a labor tub for the birth. It was a pain to arrange with the hospital, but it hink it will be worth it.

Peace,

[Modesto Doula]

My little one is head down and has been for the last 4-5 weeks, but it doesnt matter to me what position he's in right now. Im not even going to worry about position until 38 weeks cause of my first two kiddos...
Kimber went breech at 36 weeks. The NP didnt believe me at my 36 week appt, but at my 37 week appt, my OB actually listened to me. When she couldnt tell for sure, she took me into the US room to check for sure. And scheduled a version that evening and a section at 38 wks if it was unsuccessful. The version was unsuccessful. When we were walking in for our section appt, I told DH that the baby felt funny, it was too low and uncomfortable to walk... We got prepped for surgery, and were walking into the OR when the OB asked if anyone had done an US to check the position... Kimber had indeed turned the night before and we went home.
Zachary did the exact same thing... At 37 weeks he went breech and stayed there until 38 wks 1 day, the same day as kimber. That time I did some visualizations and a few turning excersizes, but I decided not to get serious about it unless he was still breech after 38 wks. The OB I had that time said she'd do a version at 40 weeks or in labor if necessary, but she didnt want to fool with him until needed.
Given my history, it will be surprising if this one stays head down.

About gift for midwives... Im pretty sure that I'll get her a small thank you gift. As a doula, its an extra-special treat when a client gives a gift or a tip. One client gave my children gift cards "for sharing their mommy," and that was just too sweet. Anyway, my MW charges between 2800-3800, and is charging us 2800, and is okay with the fact that I sometimes havent made regular payments, but I pay her as money comes in (DH is self employed). I dont have a super close connection to her (and she'd probably have a panic attack if she saw my diet), but I think it would be nice to get her a special thank you. I brought her a small gift after her birthday and Christmas (only a few days apart) as well. If we can't afford much at the time, it may be only a framed picture from the birth, but it will be something birth-y.

[eilonwy]

nursing is really killing my back, and my lap has almost vanished... but eli wants to nurse more than ever and is already working his way back to where he was before. i wish i could pull my spine out and put it back in a more comfortable position! :bang

a chair, a chair, my kingdom for a chair!

[3girlsmommy]

Rynna- Have you tried putting a boppy(or any nursing pillow) behind your back and a pillow off to the side of you and have your little guy nurse in the football hold? That's just about the only way I can comfortably nurse sitting up otherwise I feel like I can't breathe!

[eilonwy]

It's a folding chair, there's no place to put a boppy and expect it to stay, and there's no place to put Eli, either. :(. I'm just extra whiny about it this evening. Mike has a cold, and he seems to think that that's justification for throwing off all my plans. :splat I did 5 loads of laundry today (two of diapers) and killed my back because Eli needed to be carried a lot and do I get a break? No... plus, while Eli has recently acquired his four first molars, he still seems to be in teething mode so he's biting me (thankfully not my nipples.. too much :rolleyes: ) when he gives kisses. I just want to cry and pull my hair out and scream!! AAAAHHH!!! He gets to sleep when he's not feeling well.. why don't I get a massage when my back hurts, hmmmm?!?

[Smithie]

Because you are Mommy, Martyr to the Universe. Didn't you get the memo? :p

[mattjule]

Tain is getting his canines. Of all his teeth, these have been the worst, both in his attitude (so I am assuming pain level) and duration of feeling yucky.

I think I got colostrum in b/c he has started nursing more. He used to nurse to sleep at naptime and to sleep at night (since I have been pg and lost my milk). Now he is nursing at 4 am again, and he asks to nurse during the day-I think I have nursed him twice today. So I guess self-weaning is not going to happen before Rowan is born. At least he has boundaries now so tandem nursing seems A LOT more manageable. It's probably better if he still nurses, too, sharing me in other ways is going to be hard enough.

Matt is sick with the flu. It seems to be a 24-48 hour thing, thankfully, b/c he seems a lot better today, but last night he spent the whole night in his chair in the living room and he looked terrible.

I cleaned house today. I didn't want to, I have a sewing project and my back and ds only allow so many hours of individual time a day. But it was a disaster and I couldn't stand it. With Matt sick and Dale covering for him at work, it wasn't likely I could get them to do it. And truthfully, it needed my touch. 6 months of not getting QUITE clean means there were a lot of little things to do. But Tain wants to be held and I just can't lift and carry him, so that has been hard.

Sounds like we have had similar days, Rynna!

It's snowing again. I guess we had a really warm spring last year and that was our first year here b/c I feel so cheated right now. Where is the beautiful weather that will let me take a walk and let my poor ds play outside?!

[Smithie]

... if it's my sewing project you're talking about, it can wait. My mom went 43 weeks, remember? :eek And it's not like James will notice if his windows don't have valences right away.

I'm trying to clean out my disater of an office - the carpet cleaner comes on Monday. Talk about back pain. Aaaaaagh.

[eilonwy]

Originally posted by Smithie
Because you are Mommy, Martyr to the Universe. Didn't you get the memo? :p

I'm sure I did... it must have been shoved in among all those papers I got from the NICU and I lost it (along with everything else)... I probably signed and agreed to it, too. :rolleyes:

I hereby retract that memo!! I'm *getting* a massage, if it's the last thing I do!

[Greaseball]

Does anyone else have this fear that if the baby is a gender they already have, that it won't be as good looking as the other one?

That's what I've been thinking about lately; that if I had another girl she wouldn't be as pretty as dd.

Probably won't happen, but...

[Modesto Doula]

Greaseball- I can totally relate to that fear... One of my serious fears when preg with DD was that she'd be an ugly child. (Isnt that awful??) I think it comes from feeling like the ugly-fat duckling of my siblings (even though I really wasnt). Anyway, now that DD is gorgeous- just gorgeous, I fear that my other future girls might feel like that. Im not too worried about boys, though. DS is beautiful too, and he's a super charmer when he wants to be, so Im not worried about him feeling like an ugly duckling, but another girl... It makes it tougher cause there are a few traits on DH side I dont want my kiddos to have!!

I feel like this baby may have dropped down for real today. I can feel his head when I walk now, like Ive got a baseball between my legs KWIM? And I dont feel hugely pregnant like I have been. Of course, it helps that Im wearing a giant shirt today, people have been giving me the <pregnant or fat?> look, even though Im still obviously hugely preg... Maybe this one wont turn again... the bad thing is my sciatic is killing me today.

I think Ive finally started some nesting around here... I just went through the kids clothes and put away the winter stuff to make room for all their summer stuff (its already 70s-80s here, should be 90 tomorrow). I actually have one almost empty drawer for baby clothes!! I have two drawers of diapers LOL, with some overflow into baby's drawer... Of course, one whole drawer is larges I can hardly ever convince DS to wear now, but I cant bear to pack them up. I hope once he sees the new baby in cloth he'll go back to good dipes =)

Also, Dh and I are looking into the possibilty of buying a house right now. We had planned to wait another year, to get our credit better and save a down payment, but we know of a house that will soon be available we might could get for a deal. Plus its probably the only place we will be able to find in our price range where we can stop the owner from putting in noxious carpet or paint. This way we will be able to replace the nasty carpet with wood as soon as we are able, and paint with low fume paint before we move in... Im not real optimistic on our chances of qualifying for a loan right now, but we are crossing our fingers.
:W
It means we have to put off buying a van for a while. Im not sure how thats gonna work, considering that there is no way to fit our three car seats in either of our cars... I dont like the idea of being stuck at home with a new baby, backyard or not.

[mattjule]

Smithie-I WANT to do the sewing project INSTEAD of cleaning! I just had to choose today and am bummed to be doing something chore-like instead of something fun. That's okay, though.

Rowan has been moving a lot-all day yesterday and most of today. Usually he has some long sleeping times, but not lately.

I worried that Tain would get all of our unsavory features and be ugly. I'm not a person that thinks all babies are pretty so I worried about that a lot. But he turned out very nicely. We got an u/s with this one and the 30 sec 3-D image looked startlingly like Tain as a newborn so I think they will look a lot alike. Plus I comfort myself with the knowledge that a lot of ugly babies grow to be really beautiful adults and vice versa so you never can tell...my mom likes to tell the story of my brother-sitting on the couch, looking at this newborn thinking "he really isn't very cute, is he?" He grew to be such a handsome man. At least I think so, enough that it kind of weirds me out. He really was cute by the time he was 1, probably sooner if I could remember.

With Tain, the first time our friend Levi saw him he said "Oh, he really is cute! I am so glad I didn't have to lie to you guys about that!" It was pretty funny.

[mattjule]

Paula-I just read your rollcall about insensitive things people say about your children. Thought you might get a kick out of this story: My parents adopted 8 kids from the foster care system. Due to the nature of the adoptions (most of them were older, all had been taken away from birth parents) they all knew their birth parents. So my brother is about kindergarten age or so and comes up to my mom one day. "Mom, who is my real mom?"

" I am"

"No, you know what I mean, my birth mom" (my mom really objected to the kids calling their birth parents their "real parents" she would always tell them "I'm your real mom")

" I am"

" No mom, seriously"

" I AM!" It took a lot of convincing and I am not sure he really believed her that he didn't have another family lurking somewhere. He looked like he felt cheated to only have one mom and one dad and live with them. :rolleyes:

Guess when most of your siblings are adopted, you sometimes feel like the odd man out instead of the other way around! :LOL

edited for grammar-pregnant brain!

[irishgreengables]

Julie, what a funny story! I sometimes wonder if our 3rd child will feel jipped for not getting an "Adoption Day" celebration or having us talk about the family who is also thinking fo them on special days etc. Thanks for sharing.

re: cuteness. I am soooo worried about this. My children are truly gorgeous...this is not just the bias of a mother...we always say that we could not produce more beautiful children...and here we are pregnant now. EVERYONE comments on how gorgeous our children are. People stop us to admire them...not in the "ooggling children who look different than their parents" way (although we get that too)...but to say how gorgeous they are -- because they ARE!!! I am soo worried that this one who carries our plain genes is going to feel left out. I know that WE will see her as beautiful....but what about when all the people stop to look at our other 2? I stress about it...and I like to think I am not shallow...but I am indeed worried.

Peace,

[eilonwy]

I don't know that I ever worried about Eli not being cute. I did worry that he wouldn't have any tush to speak of, because Mike doesn't have one and it still weirds me out sometimes ("What are you sitting on?!? Doesn't that hurt your back?"). Well, he hasn't got much tush, but there's a bit more than Mike has.. for now. :LOL My nieces are both cute even though they look nothing like one another; one favors our family, the other their father's. They're both adorable children. I guess I have faith in mixed genes; even a child who is funny looking by mixed baby standards tends to be cuter than average. :LOL

What I worried about was that he would be... intellectually average. :hide: I know, it's a bit wrong, but I seriously worried that he would be totally average and that I wouldn't be able to relate to him, or that I'd find myself being inadvertantly cruel to him as a result. I was soooo relieved the first time I looked into his eyes and saw him looking back at me, instead of the unfocused, glazed look that is so common in babies. When I saw him turn his head to my voice and watched him track my movements, I was so relieved and I never really looked back. He's not moving along quite as quickly as I did as an infant/toddler, but he does different things and has his own interests. My mother said "You had better diction at that age, but you never said "National Geographic" or pointed out Albany or Mount Everest or the Alps or a glacier on a map."

Interestingly I've worried a lot less this time around. Just seeing how great Eli is turning out makes me feel a lot more relaxed about this child and his/her prospects. I guess I feel like I already know that we can do it right, yk? So while Eli is beautiful, I feel like we've got enough 'beautiful' to go round to all our kids. Maybe I should think about it a little more; I'm with Julie in that I don't believe that all babies are cute/pretty/beautiful/whatever. But I remember that when I first looked at Eli, I didn't see a beautiful baby so much as a familiar face, in the most literal sense of the word: he really looked like family. I remember thinking how strange it was that I could look at a face I'd never laid eyes on before and know with absolute certainty that he was mine, because while he didn't look exactly like anyone his features were so definately familial. We run toward cute babies, so I can deal with that! Even if NewBean looks nothing like Eli, there's potential for amazing beauty. Even if NewBean thinks nothing like Eli does, there's potential for amazing brilliance. So I'm cool with it, and I'm just waiting to see who pops out. :) :thumb

[3girlsmommy]

Rynna- I worried that my oldest would be completly uninterested in books. I was so afraid that I would have a child that would just throw the book across the room and not want to read. I'm a reading teacher by trade and this was my biggest fear. Bazaar I know but that was my fear. After I saw how much she loved books and that she was reciting favorites at 2 I relaxed and didn't worry so much about the second one and I worry even less this time around.

I also worry about the attractive factor too. My two girls are beautiful! It amazes me how beautiful they are. I worry that our third will not be as beautiful and will always feel like an outsider. sigh! The things you worry about as a mommy! :)

[mattjule]

That's funny about the books, b/c right before I read your post that was going to be mine too. Dh and I are avid readers and I always thought that the biggest let down in my children would be to have a kid that loved football and hated to read. Okay, the football thing is extreme b/c that just isn't going to happen (we are a rugby family-that would be sacriligious!). But the book thing, well, I have a ds that doesn't really like books. He not only throws them he rips them up, which just kills me. I have such a reverence for books that it makes me wince. But he has a favorite pop-up book he has pretty much destroyed, though he still loves to have it read to him all the time. And in the last week we have started reading a book at bedtime-always the same one (it has a sentence a page and isn't long. He has limited tolerance for pages) and he really likes it. I caught him saying bye-bye to it today while looking at it (he always says that at the end-the last words are good-night). I don't want to push the book thing, I think he needs to discover them for himself if I have any hope of a lasting interest. So I hope and I let it go. There are enough things about him that I never expected, like his superb mechanical abilities (which I have and dh REALLY doesn't) and his fascination with nature. So if he never becomes an avid reader, I'll be a little sad, but I don't think I'll be as devastated as I once imagined I would be.

[rubelin]

LOL about the book thing! I think the throwing and ripping is totally a 2 year old thing. Ben mangled some of his favorites last year and it's hard for him now that he wants to read them and they are missing parts :rolleyes: We're big readers so I think it would be hard for him to not pick it up if it's not a genetic thing.

I don't worry that this babe won't be beautiful, but I do think about if he'll look anything like Ben or not. My sister and I barely have any passing resemblance, most people are stunned that we're even related, so I know first hand what a crap shoot genetics can be. It's like we each got a totally different set of genes from each parent. That makes me wonder if the same thing will happen with my kids.

I think I'm finally nesting (Dan rolled his eyes when I told him that the other day, lol!) Ben was on Spring Break this week and I worked on all sorts of projects mostly to avoid getting into any fights with him. I rearranged the bedroom a teeny bit to make room for the new dresser that I hope we'll be able to afford before the baby comes, got baskets to put on the shelves over the changing dresser for dipes (even put my NB dipes in them :) ) dyed up the fabric for my sling (which came out WAY to dark so I had to bleach it back out and I think it's finally a color I can live with). I've also been working quite a bit and am thisclose to being done with my latest work project, though my Dad's large-size printer died today when we were starting to print out the bulk of the project. It's good that I have so much to do, it's helping to keep my mind off of my money worries :)

OK, better get finished up here and get some more work done on my work project. Hope you're all having a good weekend!!

[Smithie]

New thread here:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?s=&threadid=133432


Happy Easter!