Obsessing over pregnancy...

[hypatia]

So it's been a month since I miscarried at 6 weeks. For the most part, I feel like I'm doing pretty well. I mean, I cried when I realized I was miscarrying, and I went through a sad few days, but I went on with my life. My miscarried baby didn't remain at the top of my head.

But I've been obsessing about pregnancy. I've read a zillion books, I spend a lot of time on parenting forums, and I spend hours mulling over birth plans, breast-feeding etc. I wanted to get pregnant again right away, and was disappointed to have a cycle without conceiving.

Somehow my brain turned on to baby mode when I got pregnant, but it didn't turn off when I miscarried. A lot of changes are happening in my life; I'm in final exams, I'm supposed to be writing a paper, I'm moving across the country for the summer, but I can't concentrate on those things because I spend every waking second thinking about things like whether it's possible to give birth in a hospital in a non-supine position.

Am I going crazy?

Hypatia

[Jacque Savageau]

hypathia, first I'd like to say how sorry I am for your loss. Loosing a child is never easy.

I think what your feeling is really normal. You wanted your baby deeply, you prepaired for his/her arrival and your body responded. Now, you and your body are going through this loss and also still longing for motherhood.

Please know that you are a mother to the child you lost. This loss is significant and the child you lost was important.

That being said, what you're feeling right not is ok and normal for you. There is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to greive. It's a personal and individual journey.

When I had my first miscarriage 10 yrs. ago it was very early on. I didn't stop to think about it. Like you I just jumped on the fertility bus! I had planned for so long on having a child and I couldn't give up that dream.

The only thing I will say is to take very good care of yourself. Make sure your eating healthy and keeping hydrated. keep us posted on how your doing.

Your in my thoughts.