We lost a neice to cancer on December 17th of 2001. She was diagnosed in Feb. of that year. She was 11 when she passed away. Rebecca was an only child of my sister and her ex-husband. I want to send flowers (daisys were Rebecca's favorite) to my sister on the anniversary of her death. My mother told me the last two years that it was too soon for my sister. I send her a Mother's Day card every year, but I'm wondering if you all that have experienced this type of loss can tell me another way I can honor Rebecca's memory. Her birthday? I can see the anniversary of her death being too painful, but my thoughts are that my sister is going to be immersed in thoughts of her on that day, why not let her know that others haven't forgotten that day as well? But, having not dealt with this loss myself, I honestly don't know what to do. I asked my sisters permission to name my daughter with whom I was pregnant at the time after Rebecca and she said yes. And an odd thing is that my dd has not met my mother yet, but she talks to her quite frequently on the phone. She calls her Gammy, even though I've always called her Grandma when I'm talking about her and the cool this is that my mom told me the other day that Rebecca always called her Gammy! Some communication from our own :angel?

I hope no one minds me asking this question here. I don't want to offend anyone, but it isn't a question that anyone who has not experienced this life changing event can answer. Thank you so much for reading my post.

THis has never happened to me, but I have thought of ways to commemorate someone. I usually call or send a card on the anniversary of their death as well as their birth. Also on Mother's day and Father's day. HTH

I don't have a link for it but i have heard that you could name a star for her. Also you could make a donation in her name to the hospital or for cancer research. I am so sorry for your family's loss.

peace kathleen

naking......hugs to you:hug! others here have had wonderful, sincere ideas. imho, you just thinking of her and by doing something whether large or small, will touch her heart:heartbeat. like you said in your op, letting others know that she is not forgotten and acknowledging the day and honoring her memory is so thoughtful.

warmly~

lisa:love

Thanks so much for the ideas. We did make a donation to the hospital where Rebecca was treated soon after her death. And we always sponsor a candle in the local Walk for Life in her honor. I love the idea of naming a star after her, I will have to research that!

Thanks again. I appreciate you taking the time out to make suggestions for me!

Here it is. :hug

http://www.starregistry.com/

My baby sister died when I was six years old.

My parents did not handle her death well. They just never talked about it at all. They never even put a marker on her drawer in the mausoleum.

I wanted to talk about it, and looking back, I realize this is a healthy thing to do. I wished someone had talked to me about her, had sent flowers, had sent cards, photographs, something, anything to acknowledge the fact that she lived at one time and was part of my life.

It is my opinion that acknowledging her life in some way in this world is a good thing. Go ahead and do it. If it bothers her for some reason, you can stop and talk and apologize. If she is reasonable, she will be o.k.:hug to you.

I am so sorry for your loss... :hug

I think your sister would appreciate anything you do - big or small. I would talk to her and ask if there is anything special she would like to do and perhaps you could do something together.