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View Full Version : Open mouth, insert foot




Lula's Mom
05-08-2004, 06:06 PM
So I took my daughter to a birthday party today, and her dad came along. We have been separated for 2+ years, and I live with DP, who is the father of this baby-on-the-way. DH -can I just call him 'H'?- and I are not divorced yet, because we are both major procrastinators and things get unpleasant when we talk about it. So we have avoided it thus far. I know that sounds bad, and obviously with me being pregnant, I will now *have* to file the papers.

Anyway DP is out of the country on business, so H accompanied us to spend time with his daughter. We do a lot of things together, so that life will be as happy and smooth for our daughter as possible. It's very pleasant as long as we don't talk about anything serious. At this point, H doesn't know I'm pregnant. I'll have to tell him soon, but like I said, things always get ugly unless we are talking about our daughter. :love

I have only told one friend, the mother of the birthday boy, about my being pregnant. She knows it's touchy with H, so I knew she'd never mention the pregnancy in front of him, and I felt safe. But apparently she told her MOM, whom I really don't know, and Mom wandered over to me and asked me right in front of H: "So, aren't you expecting?"

I didn't know what to say! I didn't exactly want to tell him like *that*, so I said NO and left it at that! I am assuming he thinks she asked me because I *was* pregnant before but miscarried in February, which he knew about.

Now when I do tell him, he's going to recall that conversation and know I lied. And that some relative stranger knew before he did. Oh, the tangled webs we weave, when first we practice to deceive! I should have listened to my mother when she told me not to lie. :nono I tell myself that it's really none of his business and I'm entitled to keep it to myself as long as I like, but his daughter is going to be a big sister so I guess he should know.

What a freaky thing to have happen. :crap




Ravenmoon
05-08-2004, 09:41 PM
My x-h and i were still married when i was pregnant with my now dh's child.We were seperated for a few years and just didn't want to bother with the whole court process of divorcing.When my current dh asked me to marry him i had to do the divorce and it was a total pain.We divorced a few months before my son was born.We get along quite well though and he actually lives in our upstairs granny flat.

I'm sorry you were put in such an uncomfortable position.You should talk with him and straighten everything out.

Lula's Mom
05-10-2004, 07:14 AM
Gosh, with all these views, I'd have at least thought more of you would point at me and laugh! :rolleyes:

Soontobe3
05-10-2004, 08:45 AM
talk to him. Be honest. Tell him that was NOT the place or time or situation in which you wanted to tell him this news. Apologize.

While it isnt' really his business, it kinda is... due to your dd.

I am sorry you were put in that position, but talk to him ASAP to avoid letting the lie go on longer!!

cinnamonamon
05-11-2004, 08:32 AM
what soontobe said. ;) good luck!

laurata
05-11-2004, 06:51 PM
Isn't it possible that he'll be understanding (since you recently had a miscarriage) that you lied to HER (not intending to lie to him) because you wanted to wait until after the first trimester to share the news?