second time mothers

[Annabel]

For mothers that already have one or more children-
What will you do differently this time?

This time I know more about AP whereas when I had my son I had NO IDEA. Co-sleeping is something we did out of necessity and everyone told us it was a bad idea. Of course we grew to love it and I can't imagine not co-sleeping with this little one right from the moment he'she is born.
Last time I had a baby bjorn because I didn't know about slings until my son was about 9 months old, and I am really excited about using my maya wrap with a newborn.
Last time I was told I should only be feeding my baby every three hours and i was really stressed about it because he wanted to be nursed much more frequently than that. This time I am going to feed the baby whenever and wherever it wants.
The main thing i want to do differently is to go with cloth full time. That was my intention last time but I didn't know all the options and ended up using disposables at night. Now I know about fleece, and fitted diapers, and covers that aren't made of plastic, and dry pailing, and if there's anything I'm unsure about I know where to get all the information I need!
So, I'm curious, what have you learnt? What will you do different with this baby?

[AmandasMom]

The only thing different I will do is not buy as much useless baby crap like I did last time... like swings, bouncy things, etc. I didn't use any of them and gave it all away to a local womens/childrens shelter. We also need to buy a 2nd Queen bed to put next to the one we have now, its getting crowded in 1 queen bed since dd is so big now.

[Megamama]

Well, this is my 4th child. Between Jake and Elijah there is 13 years..so much had changed!! I practiced Attachment Parenting with Jake without knowing that there was a term, it was all because he was so high needs. He's a very independent and outgoing and really cool guy now, so I'm glad I did what I did...so with Elijah we're even MORE ap than I was with Jake because I learned so much more..I never had a sling with Jake, I just had a snugli that I carried him in all the time. LOVE slings..I went nuts and tried almost every kind at first. So I know I'll use new native carrier for the new baby at first..maya wrap thereafter..:) I'd like to try a mei tai (sp). And as for co-sleeping..I love it..but I think I'm going to try to move Elijah to his own mattress in our room before the new baby comes now that he's sleeping a bit better (only up 2 times a night as opposed to 7). This will be the first time I tandem nurse IF Elijah doesn't wean. That will be wild!! I'm looking forward to the experience :) Also, this is my first home birth!! I know this is my last child or I'd be looking forward to even more changes :) I'm with you on the baby equip..only thing I plan to get is a papasan chair, and I haven't really made up my mind yet. I need some more infant sized prefolds too because we used a service with Elijah until a few months ago..so all I have are bigger diapers.

[BabyOsMommy]

Ds was such a high needs baby at first, that I'm not sure what to expect when this one is born. He's really well adjusted and happy now, smiles more than any child I've ever known, but for the first 6 months he would scream non stop and I felt so bad for him, and I was so tired.

That said I think that no matter what this new baby needs I'm going to trust myself and ability to mother this time. I was at my wits end with Owen and desperately seeking advice/reassurance, only to get the comments of "You're spoiling him... put him down, etc...". This time I plan on following my heart, and remembering no matter how tired I am that I only get so long with my baby as a little baby before he/she will be running away from me to play.

As far as things go, I didn't have a sling with ds, and will definitely have one with this babe. I used ME OS diapers with ds, and found them bulky when he was a newborn and switched to disposable. This time I'm going to have some little fitteds and preemie/infant prefolds on hand so that I can keep babe out of disposables.

I don't know what I will really do differently with this one because I don't know who this little person is just yet. I don't want to plan too much because I want to give this baby what he/she needs, not what I want. So I will wait to meet them and go with the flow. That's the mistake I made with ds, I wanted everything just so, and when it wasn't going as I'd planned it, I got stressed. Ds has taught me (among other things), that sometimes the best laid plans need to be scrapped in the name of enjoying being a mom!

[indiegirl]

I was pretty militant with AP when I had my first. Judgemental and very idealistic.

I still use the tools of AP that work for us, I but I am done with the mommy guilt if something isn't working. I have learned that I need to trust my instincts, not do something just because it is AP and I think I should be doing it (or the reverse), that I need sleep more than anything else in the world, and that a happy mama is a good mama. So I'll ask for help, advocate for my needs and never, ever be a mama martyr again.

Jesse

[jane-t-mommy]

In retrospect, I believe that my greatest "mistake" if you will is that I responded to most of my dd's cues as an interpretation that she needed to nurse. This lead to 2+ years of no sleep for me. I was a zombie. THe only thing I talked about her first two years was how tired I was. It really sucked. The first thing I thought about when I found I was pregnant again was "oh my God, can I do that again?" Indigirl, I am with you on the no more mama martyr. Sleep is a major need of mine if I am to function happily, which as it turns out is very important not only to me, but to my dh, and dd as well (LOL). But, I will co-sleep with this babe.

And I will night nurse until 3 or so months (definitely taking baby's cues into consideration, but will not night nurse after 6 months) and I will involve my husband much more in the night time parenting in this baby. I don't have to do it all by myself and there's no one passing out any medals if you do--just me, passing out.... I read the Secrets of the Baby Whisperer when I was caring for a friends new born and even though there was much in the book that I immediately discarded, I found great wisdom in pausing to assess the babes needs prior to assiging your own interpretation of the cry.

Oh, and I also used disposables with dd, but will use cloth with this babe. Plus, I may pump a bottle of milk on occasion and leave the baby with a grandma or my cousin to go out with my husband. But who knows with that one. It's much easier to leave a baby I haven't met yet than my own darling bundle of joy.....