Is 2.5 year old too young to be told about death?

[ColesMom]

We just found out that my husband's dear grandmother died this evening. She was part of our ds' life in that we traveled to visit her once a month and he spoke with her on the phone at least once a week. I don't know if we should proactively tell him that she's gone or wait for questions from him about why we're not visiting her or speaking with her anymore.

Is there a good way to explain death to a toddler? Or is it something to avoid until he is older? I'm inclined to discuss it with him, but I don't know how to do it in a way that doesn't leave him with a million questions and fears about everyone dying.

Any thoughts would be appreciated! Thanks.
'

[Irishmommy]

I would discuss it with him, just be sure that you don't use words that will frighten him - (gone to sleep, etc.). Other than that, no suggestions. My condolences on your loss.

[lisamarie]

I'm really sorry to hear about your grandmother. My ds was 3 yo when he lost his father. Be honest, but simple. I told my ds that his dad's body died, but it was his spirit that is in heaven. They have such magical thinking at this age, so he might think that she is just on vacation for awhile (for example) and he might want you to keep repeating it over and over and over again. Best of luck and much love to you and your family.

Hugs~

Lisa:love

[Kaya's Mama]

Maybe you can get him a book about dying, one for his age level. And read it to him and hopefully it will be in words he can understand.

So sorry for your loss. :hug

[lilyka]

When my dd was 2 we explained death to her by saying that sometimes bodies get broken or wear out and just don't work anymore. When this happens Our suls go up to be with Jesus and we don't need our bodies anymore. A little later we explained to her what hapens to bodies after we don't need them. We had to explain both burial and creamation because we had a friend die who was creamated. There was an issue of mothering that had a really good explination about it and we went with that.

[abimommy]

I agree with lilyka...a 2.5 is old enough to understand if it is explained in a way they can understand....

I am sorry for your loss....

[ColesMom]

Thanks for your suggestions and condolences! I have been wavering about how to tell him - I forgot about that Mothering article - I'll have to take a look at that. The funeral is on Friday, so I'd like to be prepared by then to explain it to him in the right way. I'm just dreading the "Why" questions - never just one, and he gets very frustrated if I don't answer to his satisfaction, i.e. "I want to know Mommy!"

[whimsical*mama]

My husband's mother died last summer and it was really hard to explain it to our DD, also 2 1/2 - she kept asking "where is Mamie? when is she coming back?" We tried to be very patient and explain it to her in really simple terms, like "Mamie died, it's very sad, we're never going to see her again" etc, and we spent a lot of time talking about all of the fun things she'd done with Mamie, remembering special things that Mamie had given her, and looking at pictures. We also looked up in the sky and found "Mamie's star", and told her it was shining down on her, and if she felt sad, to just look up in the sky for her star. We now joke sometimes that it's hiding behind a cloud, etc, but she never fails to look for it. Seems to have really helped.
I guess best advice is to be patient if you feel like you're answering the same questions over and over...
Good luck,
Ellie

[tessamami]

some kind of explanation is in order, IMHO.