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gristastic
05-24-2004, 09:47 AM
Hi Ladies.

Hope this Monday finds everyone healthy and peaceful.

We had an interesting weekend. We went to the hospital yesterday, on the advice of my midwife, to confirm a miscarriage. Over the last week or two, I had lost the ravenous appetite of the previous weeks and on checking the scale yesterday, had actually lost about 5 - 8 lbs. The spotting and cramping started on Saturday and the bleeding started Sunday morning.

The up side to this story is that there is another baby, and it seems healthy and active. Unbeknownst to us, we were pregnant with twins, but one of them didn't make it.

The remaining baby measured at 11 weeks, 4 days. and the heartbeat is at 150 bpm. Everything looks good so far, and the little one is rolling around and kicking and punching like crazy. My husband swears he/she mooned us.

My feelings are a little jumbled right now. Looking up at the ultrasound screen and seeing a squirming, living baby with a heartbeat, when I expected to see a still, lifeless child in my womb was just indescribable. Yet, at the same time, I feel a pang of guilt for being happy.

I'm doing better today, and I have the most marvelous friends imaginable. My friend, Korin, from TTC told her hubby, and he said the most beautiful thing. I have to share it with you. He said:

"It must have really been her time. THe universe gave her two, just to make sure."




MistyD
05-24-2004, 10:17 AM
((((Kris)))) I'm sorry one of your babies died. Kai also had a twin that died and I know exactly the happiness/guilt feelings that you have. I had an online friend that went through the same things at the same time, we described it as a rollercoaster of feelings. If you'd like to talk more feel free to PM me anytime.

If it helps to hear positive stories...we both had big healthy babies with joyous, healing, uncomplicated births.

gristastic
05-24-2004, 10:22 AM
Thank you, Misty. I think I may take you up on that in a few days. Right now, I'm still reeling a little bit.

I'm glad to hear about your wonderful babies, and I hope I can make it 3 big healthy, uncomplicated births!

I'm so lucky to have you folks, here at MDC. It's really wonderful to know I can find someone that understands.

Jessviola
05-24-2004, 10:32 AM
kris :hug i've been wondering how you were.

i'm so sorry for your loss.

:sticky :sticky :sticky
lots of sticky vibes for the babe still in your belly.

Larissa
05-24-2004, 11:19 AM
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of one of your babies. I know how devestated you must be, but I am so happy that one of your babies is still thriving. I can totally understand how conflicting those feeling must be. I wish you the best in the rest of your pregnancy journey!

nannymom
05-24-2004, 12:42 PM
Kris I am so sorry for your loss but I loved the quote you shared and think it must really be true. Mourn your baby but try not to feel guilty for any happy feelings you have. You have been through so much in journey to become a mom and you have every right to be happy. Take care of your self.

MountainLovinMama
05-24-2004, 01:09 PM
Wow! I cannot even imagine the roller coaster of heavy emotions you must be feeling. Your post brought tears to me eyes - so happy for you about the second, healthy baby! That quote is beautiful - what a wonderful friend. Blessings to you, in your grief, in dealing with the guilt that I'm sure is a very normal and healthy thing to be feeling, and in your new joy over a second baby.