having sex?

[Jessviola]

is anyone?

we haven't had any since around the time this babe was conceived. i want to be intimate with dh but between the nausea and exhaustion, i find myself pushing him away when he makes advances. it really stinks because before we got pregnant, *i* was the one who wanted it more and now it's been weeks with nothing. and i sure can't stomach other stuff. i guess i just want to hear that some of you are out there enjoying yourselves and also that i'm not the only one feeling this way. but of course if anybody has a magical solution to get me in the mood, please share! :LOL

i really *hate* turning dh down :( he's been really patient too and doesn't get mad or anything.

[nannymom]

I have been having some sex maybe once or twice a week. Before we got pregannt I was always instigating it and now it's all I can do to lie there. My DH is very patient and understanding, but I have been so sick that i feel like it's the least I can do since our quality of life really suck right now.

This is TMI but maybe it will help... I find it helps to just lay on my side with my back to him and not really do any work just try to be there emotionally while being as still as possiable.

[sadean]

I haven't had much m/s, so that hasn't affected my ability/willingness. I am really tired though and the thought, while more appealing than usual actually, is exhausting. We are at about once a week, which has been good for us. For the past couple of years I have had very little libedo, so I am more in the mood than usual. It might have something to do with the fact that there is no risk of unintended consequences...I am already pregnant :LOL

[Kerlowyn]

Jessviola, you are not the only one feeling this way ;)

I think since this baby was concieved, we have done it maybe 2 other times :shy

I am so tired by the time we get to bed, and since I got pregnant, DS#2 has turned into an all night nurser, and I am not sleeping more than 1-1.5 hour stretches. I feel so touched out. My DH is so good about the whole thing though, and respects my need to call the shots for now. He told me the other day we have the rest of our lives for sex, and it was important to him that I get what I need to stay healthy and sane while pregnant, even if it means he 'goes without' because in the scope of things, being pregnant it is such a short time.

Gosh, I love my DH :love

[Graceoc]

Well we were never more then 2-3 times a month anyway - but since we concieved we have had sex 1x. It was the same way with my other 2 pgcys - I think with both of those I only had sex maybe 3x's the whole pgcy......and then after the birth it is usually another 5 months or so before I want to do it again LOL! (and yes, I am serious - no sex that whole time)

[Jenelle]

I have actually been more interested than before. Part of it is that my boobs are a lot bigger and I'm not so self concious about them anymore. And it finally doesn't hurt for them to be touched, in fact they are so much more sensitive - in a good way. But it's not like it's every night or anything. Just more often than usual, and I'm actually looking forward to it. One thing that helps is if I haven't showered all day and I take one right before bed.

[Graceoc]

I have actually had an increased sex drive too - but unfortunaty it hits in the afternoon and DH is not home :rolleyes And by evening time I am so sick that I am totally turned off by the idea LOL!

[Jessviola]

although my drive is definately decreased, i have noticed the only times i feel up to it are either late morning or mid afternoon and dh usually isn't around then. even if he was though, i don't know how we'd get around the dd issue :LOL

and kristina, that's the other thing, by the time i crawl into bed i'm so touched out from dd that i cringe at the thought of being touched. :guilty

[nikirj]

Yeah, we're not getting around to sex often either. I'm just too sick and tired when I get to bed, and usually DH doesn't come to bed for a couple hours after me anyway. So it has been twice since I got pg.

We had sex a lot while I was pg with our first. I remember one time immediately after sex I, err, dismounted and ran to the bathroom, promptly throwing up orange juice in a violently projectile manner, getting it all over the toilet, floor, and trash can. DH cleaned it up and I thought, heck, now THAT is love.

If it makes you feel any better, usually once I get "in the mood" the nausea vanishes for a bit (comes back full-force once we're done though!).

[Frazzled Mama]

I'm 38 weeks and can't get enough when I'm pregnant. Unfortunately DH is away on business. Once I deliver and am breastfeeding full time the desire goes way down.

[DalaiMama]

sex? what's that? :LOL we have also decreased in frequency, mostly due to exhaustion on my part. However, when we do get around to it, it's better than it's been in a long time. TMI question: has anyone else noticed that the fit is... snugger? sometimes sex actually hurts me in the beginning, regardless of foreplay, etc. I don't really understand why...

[taradt]

we haven't since this baby was concieved. the thought of doing anything physical just exhausts me. though i do have a sex drive mid morning (which is the only time i have energy all day) but DD is around and if she isn't then i am napping right along with her.
the last 2 times i got my sex drive back second trimester, though much to DH's dissapointment i was never one of those all the time pregnant people ;-p

tara

[MountainLovinMama]

I felt exactly as you described in the post that started this thread - until just a few weeks ago, and since then my sex drive has been gradually making a reappearance. I am starting to have that wonderful pregnant and sexy feeling. dh is enjoying it (he too was patient and a saint throughout the "sorry, no sex. I might puke on you" phase) Now he's contemplating another baby after this one because of the great effect on my libido! I do find that late at night I am often way too exhausted, and that is when I tend to feel most sick. But, get me first thing in the morning and its a different story. So, no tricks or advice here, but maybe a little more time will make a difference?? (I am 12 weeks now)

[Larissa]

My sex drive is reappearing. We went a long time without...and I was so thankful that dh was staying away! But lately, as I approach the 2nd trimester....that drive is coming back! I love the second trimester....I always am in the mood!!! Usually dh has to ward me off! :) But first trimester I usually want nothing to do with it!

It sound perfectly normal to me!

[kazmir]

We have not done it since I found out I was pregnant. We don't want to do anything to disturd this bean! Once we get through the first trimester, my tiredness will be gone (hopefully) and we can get back to it!

[EnviroBecca]

Wow, I guess I am weird...but in a happy way! :rolleyes I've had a few times when I was disinterested for several days in a row, but mostly in the first 5 weeks; since then (this is my 8th week since conception) I've been at least as interested as usual. I get aroused more easily, and everything feels really really good. I do have to be somewhat passive to avoid nausea.

Giving oral sex for more than about one minute is out of the question, though.

[rainy32]

its so nice to see some frank talk about this. this isn't a conversation to have with my mom!

i so relate to everything i've read ! i am so ready for sex about 3 hours after my husband leaves for work (so about 8am) and about 2 hours before he gets home (so about 1pm). argh!! then after dinner i have to sit really still so i don't lose dinner (i'm 12 weeks pg), and then i'm so full and bloated and gross feeling that i almost want to wear pajamas to bed! (which we've done only once in 9 years -- in a fight).

a couple of days ago i called dh at work and left a message like "can't wait till you get home" wink wink and the poor guy believed i'd still feel that way after dinner! he is a saint.

four things seem to work (we're having sex maybe twice a week): 1) yoga and quiet meditation gets me horny; 2) showering!!! (baths put me to sleep); 3) Saturday mornings!! 4) Sunday mornings! OH, and 5) doing it when the mood hits, even if its inconvenient. things have gotten more spontaneous. but also more sparse.

the thought of oral sex is revoluting right now!! and i usually like to do that :(

[Oregonicmama]

Hey glad to see a thread about this!

I can't bear to have sex at night, but in the morning I'm ready to go! We have sex alot normally, and I think we do it more when I'm pregnant. I feel like, this is the best time with no risk of getting preg! Plus, I never want to have sex when breastfeeding, so I'm trying to get in some good luvin' now before that starts up (i think we did it once amonth for 2 straight years when b/f, compared to 5-6 times a week normally!). I am so glad m/s hasn't effected this b/c its effected just about eveyrything else.
I have noticed it is more "snug" in some postions. I almost can't do our favorite anymore b/c of the pressure. is anyone else way more "moist" that usual? Dp thinks I always want to b/c I'm so moist. I had to burst his bubble and tell him its not me, its the pregnancy, but he still likes it.
I am not averted to oral sex, but it seems to be building up a lot more phlem in my throat than normal, and I have to stop to hock a luggy every few minutes. Sorry if that is too graffic for some of you, I just find it really odd.
Thanks for the honesty. My friends don't talk about this stuff.

[ishtarmaia]

it's so good to know I'm not alone out here! I have been feeling so guilty about not wanting sex, but the m/s has been out of control and I feel pukey all the time. I love my sweet honey so much and appreciate his patience (which seems to be wearing thin), I just don't feel like it. :Puke He asked me if there was anything he had done to turn me off or make me feel non-sexual, but I told him, it's not him. If there is a support site out there anywhere for pg dads who aren't getting any, please let me know! I'm sure some more time will help the situation. Hopefully the m/s will end after 12 wks. Only 2 1/2 wks. to go! YAY!!!!!!! :D

[rainy32]

I have to say that just posting on this list made things a bit better! I took a bath (though its against my own advice) with sandalwood and geranium oils (both safe even first trimester!), smelled so good, put on the only pair of silky pj bottoms and top that still fit and attacked him! heaven! its now been another 4 days, but I don't feel guilty, since we had Sunday night. :love

[MammaV]

I just can't do it in the first trimester when I'm so nauseated. Movement seems to exacerbate the problem, so sex is out. We had a lot of sex around conception and then a couple of times in the weeks following, but once the m/s hit, game over. I have found that I do have a lot of erotic dreams and that's nice. I certainly have felt a little more interested since I've been feeling a bit better and I can hardly wait to party again...
No oral when I'm pukey