Anyone else keeping it a secret & why?

[Celtain]

We haven't told the family's yet because my brother is getting married this weekend and I am NOT going to steal any of his thunder. This is totally his weekend and I'm going to make sure he has it. However they are getting married on Sunday and we are all going out to breakfast/brunch on monday (memorial day) and DD2, she just 2 years old is going to wear a shirt that says "I'm going to be a big sister!" I can't wait to see all the looks on their faces!!!!!!!

[Ravenmoon]

Since i miscarried last month after telling everyone i am going to wait and see before opening my mouth again.

[Apricot]

What's his new wife like?
She might consider Memorial Day brunch to still be her time. If she's likely to hold a grudge, I'd wait another week or two.
If she's your buddy, go for it...
Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS!

[Elisabet]

We're planning to wait until August or so. The last few years we've known several couples who told everyone immediately and then had m/cs. IMO, there's just so much possibility for an extra dose of misery there -- the folks who heard the good news but not the bad news and call to see how it's going, the folks who feel compelled to tell one it's "for the best" or "God's will" or whatever. I guess I also have a pretty low tolerance for those situations. I like to play my cards close to my chest. So we're going to keep it to ourselves for the first trimester. And, honestly, I want to be assured by my practitioner that the baby is healthy and has every chance of making it to term.

I also suspect that my mom may figure it out sooner, but she's the one I learned discretion from so she'll be able to deal with it well!

[Celtain]

What's his new wife like?
She might consider Memorial Day brunch to still be her time. If she's likely to hold a grudge, I'd wait another week or two.
If she's your buddy, go for it...
Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS!

She is one of the best people I have ever met, and my brother is one lucky man to be with her!!!!! I could not ask for a better SIL!!!!!! She will be psyched, think we are nuts, but psyched!!!

[Apricot]

I'm so excited that you have a cool family. Will you post an update afterwards, please? I wanna hear how it goes...pictures??

[paniscus]

We aren't telling anyone either. I think we are going to try to make it until the end of the first trimester. I feel like if something bad were to happen it would be like it happening over and over again every time I had to tell someone. Sometimes it is really hard - we haven't even told our parents yet. Other times it is really kind of fun - knowing that we have this secret. This will be the first grandchild on both sides of the family and both sets of grandparents-to-be are not so patiently waiting. So it is kind of fun knowing that their wait is almost over but they have no idea :LOL We also haven't decided HOW we are going to tell them.

[Kerrie]

I've told a core group of friends - the same people that I would tell if I had a miscarrage. That includes my mom and dad. We have not told the ILs or anyone else. I'm not sure when we will - maybe after my appt when I'm 10 weeks. DH is really the one making that decision. He's still trying to make sense of having another baby when he didn't want to.

[tofumama]

We are not telling people as quick as we have in the past, Dh told his best friend, and I told 2 people I am really close to, and my bro, who is in Korea, and won't really find out for another week when the letter reaches him!
We aren't telling family yet, paricularly my mom and stepfather, b/c they have had some rather rude and unsupportive things to say regarding us having more kids. Plus, my 1/2 SIL (if that makes sense) just announced she is pg. so...I'm waiting until I can't hide it!

[Lilguymommy]

We have told a few, my in-laws and my sil. We haven't told the kids yet. I want them to finish school, that is enough excitment for them for now, once school is over we will tell them. Plus 40 weeks is such a long time for a 8 & 9 yo. I know they will be excited though.

[Throkmorton]

I am doing a really bad job of keeping my trap shut. But, I have good reason. Basically, I am having some minor spotting, and don't want to tell anyone just in case until I get a doc's appt or I hit 13 weeks.

[TchrGrrl]

We have told a core group of friends and our parents. We will wait until we see the heart beat at 9-10 weeks before telling anyone else (or at least we will try to wait). I miscarried twins at 7 and 8 weeks before I got PG with my son and in some cases it was crutial to us to have the support of people who knew but there were the people who made crass and insensitive comments (like "oh but it is so much fun to try again"!).

[fromscatteredtribe]

We are telling only friends and strangers and not family (even my sister who is one of my best friends). We have several reasons:
1. We are really having a tough financial time and no matter how much we explain that we were using birth control and that we were not trying to conceive, it will be our "fault" and we will be seen as irresponsible.
2. We will have to make detailed explanations regarding what form of birth control and why we did not have the vasectomy done, and I hate discussing our sex life with mom and MIL.
3. They will worry about how we will provide all of the stuff that children "need"
4. My sister is having her first after trying to conceive for three years and I want her to take center stage (she deserves it). I went maternity shopping with her and just pretended I am getting fat (darn it you show so fast with the third and fourth-- all that loose skin)
5. I don't care so much about having to explain a potential miscarriage as I do getting grief from unsupportive people as I try to celebrate a life to be welcomed into this world.
6. Although they supported a home birth last time, my sis is having a hospital birth and they already see me as radical and too critical...I don't want my assertion of my own decision to have a homebirth again to be seen as contention.
7. I don't need that extra attention from anyone that is the right of every pregnant woman-- i just am tired and worn out from my three little ones, especially my needy nursling, and it is enough for me to know.

I love hearing all the reasons others have too. sorry my post is so lengthy.

[Celtain]

So we all, and I do mean all, about 30 of us went out to breakfast this morning. After we ate breakfast I went into the bathroom and changed dd2 into the shirt that says, "I going to be a big sister!" I sent her out to my mom first, she read the shirt, looked up at me and said, "For real?" and I said, "no ma, this is my idea of a sick joke!!!! YES, FOR REAL!!!!!!" So as we went around the tables everyone congratulated us, until we got to my brand new SIL. She read the shirt, jumped up, and threw her arms around me saying "this is so cool!!!!! I can't believe you didn't tell me!!!!!!"


I told you she was awesome!!!!!!!!!

[Kerrie]

Awww that's great! Isn't it fun to tell people when they have such a great reaction!?!

[HokieGirl]

We're keeping it secret for a while too.... 3 Reasons

My brother and his girlfriend are due to have the first grandchild sometime the end of June. I don't want to take their limelight, so I'm waiting till after they've delivered and my folks have been out to visit them.

Also, my mother will be completely overwhelming with gifts/trinkets/books etc. and we just don't have the space for it right now.

My stepdd just moved out to live with her mom and changed schools and things are crazy for her right now, so we want to give things a little time to settle down before we tell her.

I'll be about 10 weeks in early July, so we're going to try to hold off telling anyone until then. I'm pretty tall and my weight goes up and down anyway, and I tend towards baggy clothes, so hopefully it won't be a problem.

[Shellie]

We're waiting till we're past 12 weeks to tell my ILs, our friends, our relatives, etc. My mom and dad know (they live next door!) but everyone else will wait. We told everyone at 6 weeks last time and I m/c in March and dh really wished we hadn't told everyone so we wouldn't have to keep going through breaking the bad news, fielding questions, listening to insensitive comments, etc.

[paniscus]

Has anyone thought of how you are going to tell people??

I have an ultrasound the Wed. before Father's day so I thought of sending a picture in the Father's day cards. I will be 10 weeks then. I had thought of waiting longer. I guess if the ultrasound shows everything ok then I should be ok, right? Or am I just wishful thinking?

[HokieGirl]

My brother got my parents #1 Granmda and #1 Grandpa mugs for Christmas - his kid will be the first grandkid. I was thinking of doing something similar -
like making a t-shirt that says #1Grandma, round II or something like that.

[stacey31]

We are not telling anyone for awhile (at LEAST 12 weeks) because it is our 4th baby~~it was a very unplanned pregnancy~~out families will be worried & think we are nuts~~I have kids that would be heartbroken if a MC were to happen~~AND FINALLY......

I AM TRYING TO GET USED TO THE IDEA!!!!!!

I waited until 12 weeks with #3 to tell & it was better~~made everything seem faster.