Are there really dads who feel this way?

[NewMa]

Maybe this would be better to put in S&A, I don't know.
Last night , DP and I were looking through a mainstream parenting mag we somehow get sent each month. I think it's "American Baby." Anyway, it features a Q&A column for fathers. (or probably just the June issue for fathers.) The column was topped by a photo of a family, Dad in foreground, arms folded across his chest, pouty, angry look on his face, head down, looking defeated. In the background we have nursing mom and babe, Mom looking up at Dad, who is back to her. Mom looks very concerned, the look on her face says "what am I doing wrong." The dad's question was about how angry and jealous he is about his child "using" "his" breasts " the same way he used to " (my italics, pronouns changed, otherwise direct quote. I have read about this kind of jealousy before (and this guy also seemed downright pissed) but am I alone in feeling disturbed about this? I know that it's symptomatic of bottle culture juxtaposed w/idea of breasts as purely erotic and an underlying sense of male ownership of female bodies that continues to persist. How common do you think it is among the AP / natural parenting set?
edited to add: If you are a father who has experienced feelings similar to what was described by the dad in the mag, I apologize if what I've posted comes across as insensitive. I genuinely would like some insight into this whole "my" breasts are on loan type deal, if there are fathers here who have felt that way.

[NewMa]

Discussion around this issue usually tends to set up the father/child realtionship as adversarial, each vying for nipple time. One has to wonder if this type of boob jealousy ever manifested itself before The Time Of the Bottle...

It just seems to me as though some men might become hostile if, somewhere in the back of their minds, is the idea that their partners could have chosen romance friendly-formula :rolleyes: instead.

What bothered me the most about the aforementioned article is the dad's feeling that the baby is "using" the breast in the same way the father once did. Does this not imply that the father sees bfing as an erotic act? Is that not very problematic?

[Alexander]

Yes, I agree with Yammer on this.

A lactating breast is not erotic. It is off limits.

"Go without nipple for a bit an stop whining" is my attitude.

a

[hydrangea]

My dh has never done this, thankfully. However, he does have some jealousy issues going on. As supportive of AP parenting he is, he sometimes resents how attentive I am to the children when he wants me to listen to him and be there for him. He doesn't feel this always, but it's enough to create a problem. I see this as really related to the breast issue. I think maybe for some men the breasts are a symbol of their wife's attention?

BTW, when this does become a problem for us, we make arrangements to spend some alone time, and I sit there and listen to him and say "mmm-hmmm, a-haaa" for a few hours without any interruptions. I'd like to say I really enjoyed these alone times, and I do to a certain extent, but I kind of feel like he's acting like a third child. These times aren't about us, they're about me listening to him. He doesn't really want to hear about the children when we're doing this, and since my life is my children...

I'm not complaining too hard, because I do get my needs met in various ways by him, my children, and my friends, but still, it is a little annoying to me. I wish for his sake that he could just live with the fact that we have kids and understand that I listen to him even while I am dealing with the children's needs. I wish that when we went out alone it was about the two of us. I am very thankful though that he hasn't focused this on my breasts!