Had my U/S today.. its a boy.. I'm trying not to be apprehensive...

[AmandasMom]

The ultrasound looks great, they said everything looks fine, and that it is a boy. I'm scared to have a boy! The only contact I've had with male children is when I see them going nuts at the playground screaming and yelling and being so different then the girls, see them being destructive and breaking things, hitting things, etc. I don't want that, I can't have that! Please, is that behavior more the way they are parented then something hard wired? Will AP make a difference? My daughter, who is almost 4, still nurses and still sleeps with us, and the newest arrival will also. Will this help?

[fromscatteredtribe]

i've learned to accept and embrace the family i have been given but it's not easy. it could be my boys you see at the park, but it is not inevitable that your boy will act a certain way. gender is a construct.

there has been another thread called worried about gender out there dealing with some of the emotions...good thread.

congrats. you'll be just fine.

[clynnr]

I know exactly how you feel. :hug I don't know the sex of my baby, and I won't until delivery. I know I'm going to love him or her more than I ever thought possible, but I get a little nervous at the thought of a little boy too!

I had one sister growing up, and almost all girl cousins. I've nannied for two little girls at different ages. When I married DH I instantly acquired 10 nieces and nephews--5 boys and 5 girls. Let me tell you, whenever I'm around the little guys, I think to myself, "I don't know how to raise a boy! What would I do with a little boy?" Then I laugh and get over myself, because I know DH and I would be thrilled with a little boy--I know it would be great! And I know I have several SILs & BILs (and a MIL & FIL) who will give me all the advice I never knew I wanted. :eyesroll

Every child is different, regardless of their sex, so don't be too worried about the stereotypes. After all, you could end up with a little girl who (at the rist of using a label) wants to be a tomboy! :D

[momsgotmilk4two]

You'll be fine :) I was so sure I would be a girls mommy and here I am, due with my third boy in Nov. There is something very special about the bond between mothers and sons, it's undescribable really. You could be seeing my boys at the park too. I mean, they do not go around hitting strangers, but they are loud and very full of energy. We had a sand throwing episode that ended with sand in the eyes just today in our playgroup of mostly boys. I don't believe that AP will change a child who is high energy, but it certainly keeps you connected and gives the child a way to recharge his batteries. What you don't get to see is all the behind the scenes loving interaction that goes on with little boys. They can be very cuddly and loving and sweet. I nursed my oldest until he was 3.5 and he still requests that I lay down with him and "hold him like a baby" everyday at naptime. He is 4 now. Both of our boys also sleep in our bed at least part time. Being a mommy to boys is really a wonderful experience :love I'm sure it is with girls too, I just don't have any experience with that ;) I do agree that boys are different than girls. I've just seen it too much to be able to ignore it. We have not pushed our boys to be aggressive or to play with traditionally boys toys or any of that, they just gravitate to it. There are boys who defy the stereotype, but it seems to be more the exception than the rule. Every child is different though.

[AmandasMom]

Thank you everyone:) I keep looking at the video that they took for us during the ultrasound and thinking "wow its a boy". On the way home from the ultrasound place, I told DH "well, no way he is getting circumcised" and he said "no? why not? he will just do it later". Ah, I still have so much to teach him. He just needs to be education, much like I had to do with cloth diapers and breastfeeding. I guess I will just follow my instincts like I have wtih DD. It's so strange to hear myself say "our son" .. my gawd a BOY!. I hope this is a great opportunity to raise and give society (and some lucky woman later on) a kind, warm hearted gentle man :) man oh man.. a boy!

[Quirky]

I just had to pop in to your thread - I was in your shoes when I was pregnant with ds (my first, I'm now expecting #2 in Feb. 05) - I was so glad I had the ultrasound to prepare my mind!

The good thing is though, that all babies start out exactly the same. So you have time to grow as a parent with them and figure out what personality type they have. Maybe your boy will love trucks, maybe he'll love tea parties, maybe he'll love both. By the time it gets to that point, he'll just be him, KWIM?

Oh, and :thumb :thumb on leaving him intact! There is almost zero chance he would want or need to be circumcised later in life - so educate your dh and take the whole (perfect) baby home. My dh is circed and our ds is intact and my dh is very used to it now - it took some educating (and some sensitivity, he doesn't want to admit that he's missing half his erogenous tissue and that might be a bad thing) - but he's fine with it.

[BabyOsMommy]

Congratulations on your little boy! I'm was the same as you when I had ds, I had no idea about boys. But now that I have ds, and I've seen my nieces enter teenagehood I am the opposite, I think that boys are easier, less complicated little creatures, who get over stuff a lot faster than girls do. Of course these types of generalizations don't exactly help either gender much, do they? And they don't allow for our little beans to be who they are. You will fall in love with your boy, I promise you, and you will have the time of your life watching him become who he is.

[Megamama]

Hi!

Just let me say as the mom of a 17 yr old girl and two boys...that while the boys were a bit of a mystery, they were so much easier and closer to me than my girl. She was an easy baby, but WHOA what an adolescence..it actually makes me scared to have another girl. Just keep thinking what you were like as a teenaged girl and be happy to have that little foreigner!! Jake is 14 now and still a very cuddly guy (who finally showers because he just noticed girls...there's a weird boy thing..I fought with him for years to get clean..) and Elijah is the cuddliest 19 month old around...girls tend to beat on him..he's very gentle..I'm a bit scared for him really.

Anyway...IMHO...the boys are SO much easier in the end...

[Colorful~Mama]

nods, jumping in on your thread to give you a hug. I have a 15yo girl and a 4yo girl. and an 11mo son

WHen the u/s said boy i cried. lol. I was happy and terrified at the same time. I knew girls, boys were a mystery.

He is very very different then my girls. but not in a bad way at all! There is a different relationship between mother and daughter and mother and son.

I'm happy for u. I think you'll be thrilled with having a little man around your house. Its a new way to see the world thru a little boys eys. lol

[Summertime Mommy]

Congratulations on your little boy! I felt the same way as you when I was pregnant with ds, I actually cried at the u/s because I didn't know what I would do with a boy, but having a little boy has really been a wonderful experience. I also agree with the others that boys and their mothers have a different bond than girls and their mothers do. It may take a while to get used to the idea, but once he is here, I think you'll really enjoy having a little man in the house.

[applejuice]

I am the proud mama to three boys, two now men, and I am so glad that they are mine.

I had two little brothers, nine and fourteen years younger than me, and I had six younger sisters. Being in a household full of testosterone is a new and exciting experience for me.

Boys are special. They grow up slower than girls, but they are worth it. Keep the communication open and you will be a successful momma! :love

[tug]

Amandasmom:

I know everybody has said the same thing, but i can't help from chiming in. it is just soooo sooo sooo special to have a boy. the bond is incredible. ITA w/Kari, it defies description. I do think boys are easier. none of that weird girl screaming stuff. ugh. my ds is generally very gentle too. but so's his daddy so i'm not surprised.

i have actually wondered how i could possibly love another child as much as i love this one! good luck!!! :)

[AmandasMom]

Ok, now I am starting to look forward to this! A few boy questions though.... do you just keep a cloth handly to place over the penis so you dont get pee everywhere? Also so I don't freak out.... I read I think here about a mom who was worried about her son getting erections when she changed him. Is this common so I don't think I'm doing anything "wrong", I just want to be prepared. Does it or doesn't that happen?

[momsgotmilk4two]

Yes, you will want to keep a cloth handy for that purpose ;) Erections during diaper changes are perfectly normal. I notice it more in the morning, but I can't really remember the last time it's happened. I probably have just gotton to where it doesn't phase me.

I also agree that boys are easier in certain ways. You don't get any of that "you're not my friend anymore" "you can't play with us" catty stuff that goes along with girls. Also, adolecence can be easier in many ways, although I still think it's tough on boys, but they maybe don't act out as much. My brother went through a very somber phase, while I had daily screaming matches with my mom.

[tug]

the cloth thing for surpise geysers is not a big deal. it only happenned a few times when he was pretty young. and i have to admit, i can't really even tell if he has an erection. sometimes it looks like maybe but then maybe not, so it's never phased me. in terms of the sexual stuff, i have to admit that i am far more comfortable with ds touching his penis than i would be with a girl touching herself. i'm just uptight that way. so, that's another way a boy is easier for me.

[Megamama]

Ok...Jake once peed and got himself in the eye, so yes, get a little hand wipe or something. I have to admit, Elijah doesn't seem to do this, but if his penis is pointing in a bad direction, he's managed to pee straight out of the cloth diapers..Both boys have grabbed their penises..Jake walked around at the age of three holding it all the time..you just have to ignore that..my daughter touched herself too...I ignored that too..do what's comfortable for you!! You can always ask a 3 yr old to go to a private place for touching if you want, but don't discourage it if you can help it. Both boys have had morning erections..it's no big thing, but for me it's a signal he is about to pee so get that cloth out!!

All in all...the boys are easier. Elijah is so verbal that now at 19 months he tells me when he's peed and pooped..I've actually gotten a potty to start training after our camping trip this weekend. Believe me....you'll enjoy boys. And ask if you want to know where to get really cute boy clothing that's not just blue :)

[SweetP]

My US isn't for another month, but I share your trepidation. I have no experience with little boys! I pray for a healthy baby and will, I'm sure, be over the moon for a son or a daughter . . . but I'm a little nervous if it's a boy. My biggest thing is circumcision. We will not circumcise, and my family fully supports this decision, but DH's family on the other hand is VERY mainstream. The area in which I live is VERY mainstream. I know I"m going to get a lot of push-back over it, and I just hate fighting. (but never fear, fight I will -- I will not chop off part of my son's body just because it's fashionable)

As for adjusting. My SIL, who has always been a very girlie-girl, totally cut out to be mom to girls . . . has 3 sons, and she can't imagine it any other way, now that she has them.

I'm glad that you've had your ultrasound, and will be relieved when I have mine, just for the opportunity to adjust and do some reading and research before baby gets here!

xoxo
Charlotte

[AmandasMom]

I know each pregnancy is different, but for those who had girls and boys did you notice any difference? The reason I ask is that with dd I had morning sickness, not too bad, and it ended at around 12 weeks. I'm still puking 1-2x a day and I'm at 18 weeks now with this one.

[Megamama]

I actually had LESS morning sickness with the boys...probably why I think this one is a girl :)

[shelbean91]

I was also nervous when I found out I was having ds1. Once he was here, I got over it so fast- he is awesome. Ds2 is great, too. My 1st 2 pgs were about the same, the 3rd was much harder for me, so I don't think it's a gender issue.

[momsgotmilk4two]

I have only had boys, but with this pregnancy I was sick for longer and had it worse than with my other pregnancies. That was one of the reasons I thought it was a girl, but nope!