June 27-July 3!

[LizD]

weird to have to type july in there! i started a june thread in life with a babe but it hasn't had much action yet.
congratulations julie! i had a strong feeling about my boy's birthday too. it's pretty cool. i had hoped he'd be born earlier- esp since he was nine and a half pounds!- but i just knew. the day before i had a huge tantrum when dh had let the garage flood and i had a feeling that was a harbinger, perhaps of shouting to come. :)

my in laws met the baby yesterday! they had a rotten time getting to town and then couldn't get their rental car, so we brought the baby to their hotel to visit a while. my husband was still in chicago but we got him on the phone in the airport so he could at least hear his mom's first impressions. my niece was being a monster but she has some difficulties socially so everyone is just really patient with her. when she is an adult i plan to tell her just *how* patient.

my daughter was being really awful to me for a few days last week and i finally said something to her about it. i know it is hard for her bc we are still finishing the homeschool year and i had so hoped to be done before baby...in so florida schools have been out a month already, so she is going bananas. anyway she's been fine with everyone else but me, which i can understand, and i brought it up. i said something like it's ok if she's feeling not so great about the baby anymore, if she's jealous of him or something (she often feels very guilty about such feelings and won't bring them up) and she lost it and shouted, "i feel fine about him, i love him! it's just YOU!" :) i thought that was pretty funny. also i was pleased the AP stuff works cos no way could i have said that to my mom. in fact speaking frankly as an adult has led to her basically not speaking to me! she doesn't even know the baby was born yet! she gets an announcement like everyone else.

i got a fabulous new haircut the other day, like a new-person kind of haircut. i pumped two ounces of milk and had my husband take me and fretted over the baby falling out of the sling if he used it and so on but it was wonderful. good to be alone for forty minutes, too, and know the baby was just fine and so on. i told my lady to do whatever she wanted but cut it short, short. take it all away. my hairdresser is fabulous, she knew exactly what i wanted even though i didn't even try to describe it because i was afraid i'd not do a good job. i have had long hair since i was about ten except for one brief stint of short pink hair for the 1993 gay pride march on washington. it grew back quickly because i was pg with my daughter! so this is really cool. i also discovered all these clothes i had totally forgotten i had and can fit into again. unfortunately, in a way, i was a bit overweight, like ten pounds, before this pgcy and now those clothes are too big also! and will hopefully remain so. i am already at my prepregnant weight and really, really hope i can lose more without much difficulty.

but when we were getting back in the car and i took the baby back from dh- ahhhhh, i hadn't minded but it felt soooo good to have him back on me where he belongs.

this baby is much higher maintenance than my daughter. she slept at least three or four hours at a time at night right from birth. i can't even put this one down when he is asleep for more than a minute, or he wakes and wants me. he also sleeps only a half hour at most during the day, but at night two at a time. last night he slept four hours and then lay talking to himself for another hour- i was too tired even to roll over and nurse him until he started calling unhappily. he's pretty cool.

we are also having nasty cord stump issues. it is so very very hard with cloth diapers. i had him out of covers for a few days and that only created mountains of laundry and we were wet all the time. also diaper changes were miserably long because of using pins, which were hard to get used to after so many years. since he's been in covers, and i just gave up, he's been sleeping better and more comfortable. but there's a small nub of umbilicus, not even cut off but like a smooth protrusion, coming out on the lower end. it doesn't belong there, though, bc it is an off yellow color and the rest of the area is nice and skin toned now. the mw said to keep it uncovered and she can trim it if necessary. -blech- i might go to the health food store and get some tushies disposables so i can keep the diaper off it and hopefully get it OFF. i have been using grape seed/goldenseal powder- cord care- and betadine per the mw's instructions, and i had tried alcohol for a while but nothing seems to help. if it's just his bellybutton that's ok but it is definitely something that doesn't look like it belongs there. at least it is not raw or oozing or anything like that. it will about kill me to use disposables, though, even tushies. i often feel like the only person who uses cloth, and even other cloth users i know IRL use disposables when out or at night. for me using cloth is like choosing a car with good gas mileage- it's the responsible thing to do!! still, i guess this umbilicus does need to come off. does anyone remember the awful episode of in living color when jim carrey was riding the subway with his mom and the umbilical cord? :D

will stop hogging the thread now.

have to find some SAH work bc i can't imagine doing doula work for some time now, unless there's a way to guarantee a short labor!

[Doodlebugsmom]

Julie, Congrats! Sounds like a great labor/delivery. It's weird, my first labor was very fast and intense. Dd is fast and intense. This labor was very mellow and much slower. So far, that describes ds! I hope you are feeling well and enjoying Rowan.

Smithie, when you're ready to try again....Lube, lube, lube! Lots of it. I'm sure you already know this though.

We're still doing well here. Dd is starting to have some behavior problems. I feel like I haven't been giving her enough individual attention. She is still very loving and gentle with ds, though and she says she loves him all the time. She just hasn't been listening as well as usual and she's had a couple of tantrums. Things are going very well with ds. He's quite a nurser as I've mentioned before. He still sleeps so well at night. Dd always did too, but it is still so surprising to me. I'm not even sure how often he nurses at night. I think I must sleep through it, or he only nurses twice. I just don't know. He nurses lots during the day though.

I hope everyone is doing well.

[Greaseball]

Andrea's cord was really gross too. It smelled bad. We thought we were going to have to take her to the doc when she was only a week old. But luckily by 2 weeks it had fallen off.

[LizD]

congratulations rynna & welcome sadie! hope the emergency was not hard on you & look forward to hearing all the details.

[mattjule]

I haven't written my birth story, but here are some pics:

http://share-photocenter.bestbuy.com/osi.jsp?i=EeBMXDJw5ctXVw

[mattjule]

Congrats Rynna!! I thought I had beat you :LOL

She is really beautiful

[dharmama]

Oh Julie....he is B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :love

[wildthing]

Congratualtions Rynna and Welcome Sadie!!! Great day to be born....it's my birthday too. :D I hope your recovery goes well!

Congratulations Julie and Welcome Rowan! Sounds like an awesome birth!

[mattjule]

So I think I told you that the birth asst said Rowan looked almost post-mature. The skin on his hands and feet is really dry and feels like parchment. Well, I have been putting burt's bees apricot baby oil on them every time I change his dipe but last night I didn't change him or do the oil (though he nursed all night long, in the bed and I got to sleep through most of it-yay!!!). This morning I went to put it on him and the skin on his ankles had cracked and bled. I just feel so horrible for him. 2 days old and that can't feel good. The baby oil doesn't seem like it is working all that well. Any suggestions?

[LizD]

my rowan's skin was peeling too but very flaky and in tiny bits. are you sure it bled, or is it just red where it cracked? his ankles did the same thing but it wasn't too bad. mostly where you could see his feet had been curled up and now were stretching out. one of my midwives said some babies are like little lizards and peel awhile. we had some flaking on the chest, too. i didn't use anything on it and now he is almost 3 weeks it is almost gone. he was early, too so it isn't necessarily a sign of postmaturity tho of course you may have other signs too. good luck, it feels awful to see spots you think are painful. my guy had a deep red bit of rash on his bum just inside the crack and i thought it looked terribly painful but probably bothered me more than him. but at least i got to use our lovely weleda diaper cream!

[irishgreengables]

Isabel Magdalen was born June 22 at 8:43 by c-section.

Though we did not want a c-section, it really was a beautiful birth. Our OB allowed our doula to be there in the OR with us -- which was great. Isabel came out pink and perfect, weighing in at 9 lbs, 9.2 oz. and a 9/9 apgar (whatever that really means). She was so high up that the OB had to reach in high to get her. I am recovering well, but very sore -- and cannot believe people actually ELECT to do c-sections for convenience. Convenience? HUH? This is NOT convenient!

Isabel nursed in the recovery room and has been nursing wonderfully since. SHe is so tranquil.

The hardest part about all of this is not being able to hold my other 2 children right now!

Congrats to other babies born. Love the name Sadie!

Peace,
Paula

[Doodlebugsmom]

Congrats Rynna and Paula on you new baby girls! I hope you both recover quickly.

Julie, my little guy's ankles are peeling too. It's very thin skin that is peeling off, like when you peel from a sunburn. He hasn't had any bleeding though, thank goodness. I would just keep putting the oil on him and I'm sure he'll heal up in no time.

[LizD]

congratulations paula! and glad you had a lovely birth. i am especially glad your doula went with you- while no one wants a cesarean i hate not getting to go with my clients- and that you got to have your baby in recovery, which is very rare where i live. take good care of yourself, especially in remembering you have had major surgery and need to be cared for accordingly! looking forward to hearing all the details of our group's recent births!

one thing i have noticed, for those who have pictures posted on the web: with some sites the link takes you right into the person's account; for instance, anyone could hit "buy prints" and go right ahead. this is why i haven't posted photos yet, or given my m-i-l access :) since i have photos on my photoworks site from the birth and other things i wouldn't necessarily want to share. not that anyone here would purchase someone's photos without permission, but something to be aware of. does anyone know how to get around this?

does anyone else's baby seem very unhappy while pooping and peeing? this boy doesn't like being dirty and also grunts and really can start crying just before that oh-so-familiar explosion sound.

[ksjhwkr]

I posted this in the wrong week's thread! duh! Ok, I'm just such a lurker these days...but CONGRATULATIONS to all the new Mamas!!! I look forward to reading all the wonderful birth stories!
As for cracking and bleeding feet...Lansinoh. I used it on Emma and Seth both. it really helps to heal those cracks. Hope that helps some! :)

[LizD]

so, who's left? can we have a quick roll call? i want a clearer idea of who to keep in mind!

[3girlsmommy]

Just a quick note to say Congrats to al the new mommies and welcome to all the new little babies! :)

[mattjule]

Yes, they did bleed. I am trying burt's bees rescue remedy and it is working really well (i already had it). My mw came by to do a check-up and she said she had never seen anything like it. there's a bit of drama going on right now but I am typing one-handed so I won't elaborate but if you could all send me some patience and peaceful vibes, I would really appreciate it.

cograts paula!! Been wondering how your kiddos are doing...

[LizD]

:hug :hug hope you feel better julie- let us know what's going on when you have a chance. hope too your rowan's ankles are better, poor baby.

[mattjule]

I totally undressed him today and checked him out-seems that his ankles are the only part that is that bad and they are getting a little better. We went to Whole Foods today and of course he attracts a lot of attention. When I told ppl he was 2 days old, they kind of freaked out-"I can't believe you are out and about" "you look great" etc etc. I don't know why, but that kind of attention just feels uncomfortable for me. I started to feel like I should lie about his age :eyesroll I am such a weirdo.

So my mom is here and brought my 1 yo niece and it is taking longer to get the baby (Emily) out of our house (I told you how Tain really doesn't like her and we have pretty much been giving him constant time outs-the first time he has ever had them, at a time when he really needs his house inviolate). Emily was supposed to be picked up by her other gma b/c they were vacationing here, only the other gma doesn't get in until this evening (tho my sis failed to tell my mom this when she sent her). On top of that, my sis didn't tell the other gma about it so she had no idea until bio dad told her. Since she has my older niece with her, she doesn't want to have Emily at night b/c Lauryn already takes up all the bed and makes it hard to sleep, tho she has agreed to take her during the day. My sis is so manipulative. It just feels so disrespectful towards me and my family that she is doing this crap (they decided last wk they were moving here) at a time where I really need my mom to be here for me. We have been planning this for 9 months and she just can't give me this time. On top of that, my other siblings are pretty screwy (they are younger and still live at home) and they have evidently been totally horrible since she left. So she has been dealing with my sis (whose car broke down in the middle of Canada on the way here, of course) and yelling at my brothers 3 times a day. I am so frustrated! It isn't mom's fault, I just feel like all my siblings are so selfish. How hard is it to just deal with your life for a while? Mom has been here less than a week! So that is my drama. And of course I try to tell mom how I feel and she takes it personally and leaves with Emily for god knows where with no money. Which makes me feel guilty for saying anything. Arg. The whole situation really sucks. And it makes dh furious, of course, which doesn't help.

Other than that, everything is going pretty well. Laying down in the bed makes my afterpains really bad. I think it is b/c I am on my side all night nursing and that pulls my uterus to the side, not to mention strains a tendon/ligament/muscle something that already was hurting at the tail end of my pregnancy. anyway, I should be getting more sleep than I am b/c of it. So that isn't too cool. Other than that, we haven't totally woken up from birth yet, I think, b/c things are still going really smoothly. Tandem nursing is so far uncomplicated, for which I am grateful. We don't nurse at the same time all that much, which helps. Wondering how you are doing with it, Rynna.

I think tomorrow I will crank up the heat and give Rowan some naked time. I hate putting sposies on a newborn and since his skin is already so delicate, I think he really needs to not be rubbed by the paper/plastic of them. We don't really have the option of cloth, however, so we just try to give the kids as much naked time as possible. He pooped 5 times yesterday and not at all today. Weird.

Well, I should get going. Labor vibes to those still cooking and big kisses to all the gorgeous babies!!

[liz-hippymom]

just dropping in to say CONGRATS all you new mamas..all i do is lurk now..im not good at typing while nursing!
Robin- lucca also has a spinal dimple and we had to use silver nitrate on her belly button..weird
LizD- Lucca hates to be wet or dirty so we are doing EC and it is great, she is much happier. check out the EC board!

[Ceili]

so, who's left? can we have a quick roll call? i want a clearer idea of who to keep in mind!

I'm still waiting.... not sure who else though. A few back aches and a couple of contractions... but not much else happening. My EDD is tomorrow, but I think I think I may not go until the full moon on friday.

[bandana]

Still waiting here too...my EDD was 6/18, I'm 11 days over, but I feel like it might happen tonight. Yeah, that full moon right around the corner is throwing these babies off!

I think I'm finally having the kind of contractions I should be having to start timing them instead of the BH...how do I know for sure? My MW stripped my membranes today so I've been crampy anyway, but with each contraction now comes a good dose of menstrual-like pain...it's just not like I imagined from reading descriptions...Any thoughts?

~Laura

[3girlsmommy]

Julie- Two of my three girls had really dry cracked feet. The worst part was the undersides of the toes where they connect. Lily has crackes between a couple of toes too. Her feet are getting much better. I think almost all of her skin has peeled off in the past two weeks. I was completly freaked out by that as this was the first time I had a baby that peeled. She was a week early but looked overcooked. I hope things get worked out w/ your mom. It really stinks that just for a short time you can't get the help and attention YOU need.

Birthing vibes to those stilll cooking and snuggles to all those cute little babies! :)

[mattjule]

Laura-just time them, I say. My early labor had menstrual like ctx, it wasn't until transition that they changed. It is hard to describe, I told my mom that they were strong, but I was able to deal with them better b/c they felt "productive". Like everything was finally working in sync. Up until that point, however, it was just like a really aweful period except that they were semi-regular. It helps if someone else can time them, I know for me it was hard to make sense of it but when someone else can look at the times, they can see an overall pattern. I don't know about anyone else, but mine were always slightly different like 3 min then 5 min then 3 min again, etc. so it was nice for someone else to figure out the average. Don't know if that helps at all. I'll be thinking of you!!

[lilzark]

Our sweet Ava Josephine was born on Saturday June 26 at 7:06pm. Just wanted to let everyone know :)

It was a beautiful birth at my birth center, and could not have gone any better. We came home on Sunday morning and family and friends seem stunned that we're home already and that it was all so simple. :innocent I will try to write a little more about it, over on the birth stories thread.

Congratulations to new mommies on here and thanks to everyone who sent me supportive thoughts on the bad days. It's all been more than worth it.

[LizD]

congrats and welcome ava josephine! what a fab name!

i am not a fan of timing ctx- they can so often peter out and if they get frequent first a lot of people get into labor-mode and use up a lot of energy. when it's labor you'll know! it's like checking dilation; no one knows at what rate you're going to dilate, so internal exams, like timing ctx, don't necessarily tell you anything. just my $.02. :)

[Greaseball]

My stepmother is very nice, but she kept calling Andrea by her middle name, and she told a bunch of people that "she was very big, almost 8 lbs!" Darn it, she was just over 8.5 lbs! I want credit for the extra 9 oz!

My mother comments on how Linda "has a temper" just like I do. :eyesroll: She doesn't "have a temper;" she just doesn't like certain things and isn't going to be quiet about it! My mom seems to get this perverse delight in telling me that Linda gets her "temper" from me, so I tried telling her "Well, that must mean I got it from you" but it just went right over her head. She also grabs every opportunity to point out what a difficult baby I was. When I'd hold Andrea a certain way, or use the sling, she would point out that I "hated" all that stuff and wouldn't calm down the way other babies did. Gee, sorry to make things hard on you! :irked:

My dh is always taking the kids to the park before I'm up and ready to go. Sometimes he asks, "Oh, did you want to come with us?" But he asks right as he's leaving, when he can see that I haven't eaten or showered! :splat I also wish he wouldn't take Andrea, since she doesn't even stay awake to enjoy it and it means he has to dip into the milk supply in the freezer.

[eilonwy]

wow, looks like i posted on the wrong thread. :LOL

things are going very well, i'm recovering from the c-section and I have to say that while it certainly was inconvinient, i'm feeling a heck of a lot better than i was 5 days pp with Eli. :LOL considering the fact that it was an emergency surgery, things went really really well. it was all good once mike got into the room, though of course my niece was (is) very upset that once again she didn't get to witness the birth. she's really intent on someone in the family having a homebirth or at least a hospital birth that she can watch. :LOL

tandem nursing is going fairly well, eli was a bit jealous in the beginning, and getting them both situated around my incision was a bit of work at first, but now i'm just loving it. it seems that i'm doomed to a huge oversuply, though. after eli went to bed last night, i woke up and nursed rivkah and then was forced to piump to alleviate the pain in my left rbeast. 5 oz!!!! and i didn't flatten it, even, i just pumped enough that I could breathe again! crazy stuff, that milk! :LOL

hm, less than a minute. time to go, i think :) i hope to be back online soon!

[Modesto Doula]

Welcome to the new babies!! Rowan, Sadie, Ava, what beautiful names! Congrats mommies, I hope all is going well!!

Little Braden is growing big!! Today (at 2.5 weeks) he weighed 9,14! Thats two pounds up from his birthweight already! I thought I was the only person who could gain a pound a week! He's already grown out of some of his newborn clothes and hes pushing the limits on the smallest of the diaper covers. (Not to mention soaking every single dipe in sight...) I know my other two gained like this in the beginning, but its still amazing to watch. And more amazing that he is now as large as one of my good friend's babies are at birth! i cant imagine giving birth to him at this size!

Im not having any funky sad stuff. I am having a lot of anger/frustration problems. My older two children refuse to listen to me anymore, since most of the time Im just giving orders from the couch. Nursing a baby who wont nurse in the sling makes it tough to help the kiddos clean up, and impossible to be an enforcer of discipline. They run wild all over the house every moment they can. My 4 yr old just blithly ignores me or straight up disobeys. My two year old just loves making tremendous disasters and is zero clean up help. Ive gotten to the point where Im yelling at them all the time to get off the kitchen counters, out of the fridge, stop eating/pouring out the salt, get out of the bathroom... you name it. They are driving me crazy! Ive gotten to the point where Im going to put up a series of baby gates they cant cross and put most of their toys in the garage to keep them from making a mess so big I cant live in it. I feel like I shouldn't have to do that though, that my 4.5 yr old should be more responsible and be more help. Is it just me? Should she know better than to flood the bathroom floor, or let her brother go play in the (off limits) back yard? The most awful thing is the only time that she listens is when I threaten to spank, which I HATE to do...

With DH, the frustration/anger has moved into the range of RAGE a few times. I get SO PISSED at him. I havent yelled at him yet, but Im sure its on its way. He makes plans without asking me (he does ask me if its alright, but usually its pretty clear hes just telling me what he's going to do, since he already made the commitment), plays endless computer games, complains about the house being a wreck, and for some reason cant take care of our children. I left with the baby yesterday for a while, and when I got home the house was clean and kids asleep. But the didnt eat dinner- just junk snacks and all they did was watch tv while he played on the computer. And they went to sleep three hours early, so at bed time both of them were up and one of them is hungry, at the exact same time im stuck nursing Braden for an hour and a half trying to get him to sleep. DH? Just rolls over in bed and complains that he has to get up early to go to work, and goes to sleep.
Anyway, he has all this time to go out, play D&D and star wars while im nursing, changing, cleaning up, doing dishes, laundry etc. WTF? Its like he forgot that caring for the baby was a lot of work cause he still thinks hes doing his fair share by cooking and taking out the trash. every moment i have without babe in arms is spent keeping house. I have to ask him to hold the baby. 10 minutes later Braden's in the damn bouncy seat fussing to be held and hes in the den... GRR... I might seriously have to go off on him.
sorry to be so long... Im not sure if I need anger managment or if I just need to start being abusive...

[seedling]

Congrats Mommies! Quite alot of new babes born ....

I'm not finding any me time these days so posting is increasingly difficult. Got mastitis this weekend and felt like dying for two days ... feel better but am still lumpy and am feeling so wrecked about it. I feel like somehow guilty and at the same time clueless as to how I got it. Flora is gaining well though so I feel very grateful for that. I'm so worried about these lumps and am just overwhelmed by how to best heal ... all this timed perfectly with DH's return to work so that I feel even more overwhelmed than I did last week. I'm supposed to be doing hot compresses, drinking a glass of water at each nursing (which is supposed to be more frequent), yadda, yadda, yadda, all this other stuff to take care of myself when I'm at home with a 3 year old and a newborn by myself and sometimes find that it's two hours before I've been able to do something BASIC like brush my teeth for the morning. I've had two diff people give me shower/bath goodies and say things like "and this is for taking care of you" and while it's a totally nice gesture it makes me want to hurl the d*mn bottle of soap at their heads and scream "and exactly when the f*** is that supposed to happen?!" I'm really, really overwhelmed right now.

Anyway, I just bounced Flora back to sleep and as it's 4:47 am here, I'd best try to get a few more hours before DD wakes up.

Sorry to be so down and so about me.

[dharmama]

seedling and Modesto Doula ~ :hug I feel your pain (and I don't have toddler(s) to take care of too)!!

DH has been working 12+ hour days. It's been SO hard on both of us. He feels guilty because he's gone so much...I feel overwhelmed because well...he's gone so much.

Yesterday he said he was going to try to be home around 7 p.m. At about 6 I was starting to lose my sh*t but kept thinking one more hour...one more hour. Lily was in her inconsolable fussy period...I was starving....all the critters were hungry. It was just all bad. At 6:30 he called to tell me that he had to work for at least another hour (plus 45 min commute) and I just burst into tears. :crying

Luckily my mom and sis came down and rescued me. It was SUCH a relief to have people there to hand her off to so I could finish the laundry, feed the critters, go to the bathroom, and then just crash on the couch.

They stayed until John got home at about 9:30.

Today he's up and out the door bright and early again :( but hopefully he won't be real late tonight.

Crying baby....

[mattjule]

Lilzark-Ava is older than Rowan by 9 minutes! How cool is that?

I have helpers right now but bedtime is hard for us. Rowan gets wolfishly hungry in the evening and Tain has always nursed to sleep. I have figured out how to nurse yhem at the same time while sitting, but not when lying down. Last night dh offered to take Rowan andlet him suck his finger while I put Tain down, but Rowan was already fussing. I felt like saying "Rowan NEEDS to nurse, Tain only wants to" then felt bad that I was discounting Tain's emotional needs, especially when he has been so good about Rowan. Plus, I am going to have to figure something out b/c I will be on my own at bedtime in a couple months. Then, of course, Tain likes to stick to my back and I am wedged between the two kids, unable to move and super sweaty. meanwhile, on the other side of our huge, king sized bed my dh sleeps obliviously. arg. everything else is going well, however, tho i keep waiting for the ball to drop, yk? dh wants to bbq over at bro's house tonight-after i told him I need to stay at home and not do anything for the next couple days. still haven't decided what i am going to do about that. well, typing one-handed sure takes a long time. Patience and peace to all new mommies and lots of strong labor vibes to those still left!!

[Greaseball]

Andrea slept for six hours last night! Unfortunately it was wasted on me because for some reason, I didn't sleep at all until 4 am! Probably because I had this huge espresso drink before my evening class. Now I'm all tired, I have to go to class again soon, but I'm afraid to drink coffee because it might happen all over again.

Soon, though, it will all straighten out...

She needs so much attention during the day that sometimes I have to ignore Linda. :crying Poor Linda. She's been great with Andrea but it's probably harder on her than it looks to us.

[LizD]

Brooke, start on those beatings! :) :hug to everyone else who's stretched a bit thin. We (dh and I) had our first senseless argument in a while but I don't think it was connected to anything postpartum. This Rowan is more like a moss than a tree; I'm the tree and he clings all day, all the time. He doesn't sleep lying down away from me, in Moses basket, my bed, playpen, bouncy seat, carseat (unless the car is driving and even then we don't have long). If I am holding him or sleeping in bed with him he sleeps fine, a few hours at a time. He likes sucking his sister's thumb, so she can keep him calm for a few minutes. I am going to BRU to get a baby bjorn so I can carry him more or less hands-free. I don't really like the sling with a newborn.

My inlaws are in town but have their other granddaughter with them, who is almost seven but acts more like a poorly-behaved almost four. They say she has "issues" but I am skeptical. She seems a lot meaner than children I have known with things like aspberger's syndrome, sensory integration problems, etc. At any rate they are always very worried about her and what she is doing and how she will react, and she says "no" to everything, and they listen to her, so I am exhausted after spending the day with them. I also don't like being around unpleasant children. I think she is merely overprotected, spoiled and watched far too closely. My daughter has no patience with her, which is unfortunate. Her 11 year old cousin plays well with monster niece but my daughter just ignores her or says she's going to read or do something else, if she's obnoxious and then my niece starts screaming. my inlaws spoil her terribly and that makes me really mad, because years ago they said our AP lifestyle was due to some insanity on my part and I was overprotective. Meanwhile they have created the monster and my kid has never given anyone any trouble (knock wood). My niece also doesn't like her grandparents paying any attention to baby Rowan or referring to him by name or even as "the baby." We see her once a year at most and she still exhausts us utterly. I'd have beaten her long, long ago. And as such an AP parent, for me to be thinking before lunch, "someone please slap this child!", you know it's bad. :) ah, family. It also annoys me because my mil picked this time to bring her granddaughter when my daughter, her first grandchild, could probably really have used some undivided attention right now, and no one thinks of that, but everyone has to stop what they're doing when my niece doesn't like how we're seated at the dinner table. But, this is why we're not close to them. I feel bad because they don't really understand us and probably never will.

Sorry for my own rant! My mother-in-law and her friends are very generous, though, and most of her lady-friends have gotten us BRU gift certificates. I might weaken and buy a new peg perego, though I will be ashamed to spend so much on a stroller! :blush There's not much else we'll need from there except a highchair, and I think all-wood ones are only online anyway.

My husband works completely erratic days and hours and is going to the bahamas to work for a few days this weekend. Last weekend he was away overnight in Chicago. I don't mind being alone, though, I rather like it.

happy labors!

[mattjule]

LizD-not only do we both have Rowans, we both have obnoxious family! My mom brought my 1 yo niece with her (my sis decided she HAD to move from Alaska to here the week I was due :rolleyes) and has has her ever since. She was supposed to hand her off to her other gma who was here visiting, but other gma has not held up her end of the bargain. Hard to blame her, my sis didn't tell her anything so she showed up and had this baby thrust upon her. But, damnit, we aren't her parents and Tain is really struggling with her and her FATHER lives in town. Why doesn't he have her most of the time? My sis's car has broken down 3 times so far, but she is in OR now so hopefully she will get here in the next day or so. I just hate it when family doesn't think about you when they are supposedly coming to support you.

Bedtime still sucked last night and I think I am going to have to wean Tain. His suck is too vigorous and his teeth are a problem. I honestly think he bruises my tissues-like when you turn the breast pump too high. As hard as it will be emotionally, it isn't right to continue when Rowan is the one who suffers for it. I don't want to cringe or tense when he nurses, especially when he hasn't caused the pain in the first place. It sucks all around, but I don't see another option. I have tried to work with Tain on his nursing his whole life and not much has changed. Besides, he seems to think he doesn't have to eat food anymore, he can just nurse. :rolleyes

Well, I am off to hunt for regular underwear in my pre-baby boxes. Have a great day!

[mattjule]

does anyone know what day it is?

[dharmama]

does anyone know what day it is?

:LOL I have been saying that for the last two weeks! (Oh and It's Thursday BTW ;) )

[dharmama]

PS ~ I finally finished Lily's birth story (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=163587)!!

What a powerful process writing it out is!! :thumb

[LizD]

Julie- have you looked at the new LLL book on tandem nursing? At least I think it's new. Maybe it's just newly advertised. Anyway I ordered it for a friend who is pg and has a 1 1/2 year old and under a lot of social pressure to wean the "big" one. I just wonder if there are some ways to get past the discomfort and/or annoyance so you don't have to wean your big guy.

Even after sleeping on it I am still annoyed with the in-laws. I feel my daughter always gets the short end of the stick and anyone who doesn't join in spoiling my niece and keeping her happy starts sliding down my mother-in-law's list. I told my daughter this morning she was just fine with her cousin, it's ok if she doesn't want to play with her, and it is not at all her responsibility to keep the little monster entertained and happy. She deserves time with her grandparents too.

I also notice I don't feel good about my parents-in-law when I see them defer to this little kid, allow her to interrupt them, or me, or my kid, or my husband. We didn't see a cousin of my own much when I was small and my dad told me years later it was mostly because she was so spoiled he couldn't stand to see his sister, her mother, treated that way and acting that way.

But this is straying away from pregnancy-birth-June related issues! It is exhausting still to have to deal with all this crap when there's a new baby. It shows nothing will make people rise above their nonsense. You as the new mom figure this is the one time in your life when you and the babe will be the center of attention whether you like it or not, and that you deserve to be foremost in consideration of your comfort, etc.

So, thank my stars this baby was born three weeks ago. I was really worried he'd be born while they were here and that would be awful. Also thankful they do not stay with us, as I could not possibly handle that while trying just to enjoy my lovely children and my messy house and all the things I would like to get to. Some houseguests are wonderful and I wish we didn't live so far from certain friends and they could come stay with me; other "guests" are like an energy sink in the middle of the house and try though you might to do your own thing they sap everything. This is such a vulnerable time, so much happening emotionally and physically and psychologically, the wrong company can become a big deal. Do other new mothers feel as tender? I feel less sensitive than I did the first time, and I no longer care about my inlaws enough to get mad, but I looked at some photos on an anticircumcision site last night and got very upset, more so than I would at any other time.

People are knocking at the door and all kinds of madness. Must dash. Lots of happy vibes to everyone!

[seedling]

Erin, that was a really beautiful story. Thanks for sharing it.

I feel like I need to whisper this lest I jinx myself, but I think the mastitis is getting better. The fever has been gone for several days and I've noticed a decreased redness/hardness too. I am so pleased.

I slept from 12-6 last night with only a couple nursings that I pretty much slept thru. Flora seems less gassy/fussy right now .... I actually got her back to sleep on my chest by 7:00 this morning and dozed on the couch until 9:30 when my oldest woke me up. I've no idea how long she'd been up. I took her to a friend's house for the day and am looking forward to at least three solid hours of just me and Flora time (and if Flora sleeps, some much needed me time). My DH is taking DD to a poetry read tonight (a work comittment thing) so that's some more time there. I think I might make it thru the day without a crying jag. :)

Julie, that whole niece thing sounds incredibly hard. I can't believe your sister. That would REALLY make me wacko.

Okay, well, I'm off of here. Want to make use of my quiet couch time.

[wildthing]

OMG!!! It's THURSDAY already!!!!!!! :jaw :LOL

Julie, has it always hurt when Tain nursed? The reason I ask is because it was REALLY uncomfortable for me when Gunnar nursed during my pregnancy, and it was still very tender after Landen was born whenever either of them nursed, although it was worse if it was Gunnar. But by the time Landen was about 2.5-3 weeks old, it quit hurting completely. Now I can nurse them both with no discomfort at all. :)

Julie and Liz, I am so sorry your having trouble with your families. Sometimes, family can really suck!

Like many others, I have been having issues with Gunnar, my poor displaced baby. It happens each time, there is a period of adjustment for everyone, but it is still tough. :( I generally do not like to nurse them both together when I have day care kids here, because I am very exposed, so I have to tell him to wait. It makes me feel so bad to see his little face, because he doesn't really understand why he needs to wait.

Anyway, Landen is sleeping, so I must take a shower NOW!!!! I guess we should start moving over to life with a babe soon too, huh? ;)

[LizD]

There's been some traffic on our life w/a babe thread but we must certainly stay here too until everyone is through! A friend of mine once went two + weeks postdates and was really annoyed everyone abandoned her! :)

my m-i-l and her sister and friends came by. They all brought very generous gift certificates, so I feel a tiny (tiny) bit bad we don't get along so well. But my niece was just as weird as usual and her grandma every bit a marionette. And my mil obviously doesn't want me talking to my niece if it might involve asking her to or not to do something so I wash my hands of all of them. I am mostly annoyed bc when I didn't want them teasing my toddler or otherwise undermining her they were really nasty to me about it over all these years and meanwhile my niece is the exact thing all my AP efforts were supposed to avoid- and did- with my talented, kind, confident big girl. Their loss-pthbhthpthht!! and a big pthbhthpthbtht to julie's family- a bigger one since she only *just* had her baby for pete's sake.

I do wonder how sensitive or not we are to this sort of thing as pp women. I actually feel less sensitive to it in a way. I've got two fabulous children now, I'm in a sort of pp glow, a bubble that seems to insulate me even as I seem to see these family inequities more clearly than usual.

I also sometimes remember all my friends are AP to some degree or other and my inlaws don't see the differences I do, or attribute them to parenting.

Julie I hope you are getting what you need despite all the baggage.

[wildthing]

Oh I agree Liz! I would definitely not abandon our buddies still waiting. I was more thinking out loud....:)

[mattjule]

My mom has been really great about it, really understanding and putting a lot of it on herself. It sucks b/c she deserves it as much as I do, but at least someone around me cares about how it affects me. Honestly, it wouldn't matter so much if it wasn't EVERY time something important happens in my life. Like my sis can't stand to see me get any attention. Anyway, I am so done with it. Mom took Tain and the girls to the park today and I got to nap with Rowan. It was so heavenly! I didn't realize how much sleeping with Tain in the bed affected my sleep. It isn't anything I am going to do anything about-Rowan will sleep harder, nurse better at night with time and I am so not willing to push Tain out of the bed but it was eye-opening.

As far as the nursing goes, Tain has always been a clamper. It wasn't so bad when he was younger-his jaw was less strong, he didn't have any teeth, and my nipples were pretty deadened as far as sensation goes. But when he started getting teeth, it was horrible. So our nursing relationship was really disfunctional going into this pregnancy. Then my milk disappeared and his nursing slowed to 2x a day, which I could tolerate. We also worked on opening really wide to latch on and unlatching by letting go, not pulling. I thought that would do the trick. But it is what happens as he nurses that I am discovering is the real problem. He clamps down, no matter how much areola is in his mouth-it just means that the teeth marks are deeper if there is more breast in there. Like his jaw only has one angle of opening or something. As he drifts off to sleep he gets sloppy, slurping and losing suction, then sucking hard to get the nipple back. This also happens after let-down, when there is only hindmilk left. I have read Adventures in Tandem Nursing so I do feel I have started to exhaust my options. I did appreciate how the book did not place blame and was supportive of weaning if you felt it was right for your situation. It is nice to not feel super guilty about it. I had hoped I could get through this phase to the deadened sensation phase again, but I cringe when Rowan latches on after Tain (like, within 3 hours) and that is unfair to myself and Rowan. Nursing him should be wonderful, especially since he is good with his latch, not agonizing. I am still thinking about it. I think my biggest mistake was letting Tain nurse as much as he wanted to as soon as Rowan was born. My nips are still too sensitive for that. So we'll see if I can tolerate just the nap and bedtime nursings and go from there. Thanks for all the suggestions, though.

So, anyone else's abs extremely sore? I thought that being too active like going up and down the stairs, carrying Tain, walking around the grocery store, etc. was giving me horrible afterpains. But I have figured out that it isn't my uterus, it is everything holding it up and in. Doing housework does the same thing so I have had to take it really easy. I was wondering if the ab recovery is longer/more intense if your abs have separated. Mine did this time, but not last time with Tain. Any thoughts?

Labor vibes to all those mamas still cooking, can't wait to see your sweet babies!!!

I started my birth story, but haven't finished it yet. I hate to wait, b/c the details disappear so fast, but just haven't had the time/inclination to make it a priority. ah well, it will happen eventually.

Liz-I feel that your wedding and the birth of your children are the only times in your life where you get to be unabashedly self-centered and everyone else gets to just deal with it. :) So raspberry them for me too!
Lots of love to everyone!!!

[mattjule]

Erin-just read your birth story. It is incredible. What an amazing woman you are (and you have a great husband too!)

[LizD]

my whole body ached for a few days after the birth. i think it just depends what you were using most. my arms were incredibly sore from just the short time i was in the "doorknob squat." but my abs hurt for about a week.

i read you should do no formal exercise beyond kegels for the first few weeks; that the abs shorten naturally. also when you do begin exercise, splint the abs with a towel, really hold them together. I haven't gone to formal exercise yet but my ab separation, which i also did not have the first time but was quite huge this time, is almost completely gone. I think being up and around to a normal degree works wonders in the first few weeks.

a friend of mine of seventeen years was so offended when i sent the ashley montagu petition to the UN against genital mutilation of children! he said jewish circ was no worse than body piercing so he couldn't sign it. i said "well we have to agree to disagree on that," and i think our friendship is at an end. i am kind of amazed but at the same time, if someone is going to become more closedminded with age rather than more openminded, i have little use for them. :)funny all this comes up when one has a newborn!

[Doodlebugsmom]

Hi everyone! I haven't had time to post for a while, but I've been keeping up with reading the posts. Things are still good here. Dd is just in love with her little brother. She's such a sweetie. Yesterday, he was awake most of the day and boy was it tiring. He wanted to nurse almost all day! I'm thinking he must be in a growth spurt. I had forgotten what a mess I make nursing a newborn. There's milk everywhere!


As far as visitors and company go, I'm worn out. We have had so many friends/family stopping by that I was starting to get really annoyed and emotionally wrecked. I felt like I was going to cry any time I opened my mouth to say anything. Mil was thinking about coming this weekend, but decided to wait until next weekend. Dh and I are both glad. We feel like we need to spend our three-day weekend together with no visitors. I feel a little guilty because I know that everyone just wants to see the baby, but I feel like I need some time to just chill out with dh and the kids.

Julie, I was really sore in my abs and thighs for about a week post-partum. I didn't have that with dd. I thought it was just because ds weighed two pounds more than she did and it took much more work to push him out.

Liz, I'm sorry about your friend. That really sucks!

Erin, what a great birth story!

[dharmama]

Erin-just read your birth story. It is incredible. What an amazing woman you are (and you have a great husband too!)

Erin, what a great birth story!

Awwww...thanks you guys. :love

[Greaseball]

My abs are still a little sore. They have this downward pull on them, and it sort of hurts to do crunches.

[seedling]

You are doing crunches? Egads woman!

[dharmama]

You are doing crunches? Egads woman!

No kidding! I was thinking the same thing! Of course this is the woman that was riding her bike :yikes: at two weeks post-partum.

:LOL

[LizD]

well, we had a lesson in what's important today.

today was going to be the day i got a lot done. feeling good, babe getting more hindmilk so happier and less gassy, etc. even got up early, paid bills, etc. my daughter was emptying the dishwasher and i was getting the baby ready to go on some errands (finally get a baby bjorn and save my breaking back). my daughter ran in and shouted, "rich's shed's on fire!" this is the shed just on the other side of our driveway. i ran out, saw nothing but smoke everywhere. i shouted, get out of the house! get out! and reached for the phone. while calling i ran out to see how bad it was; it was like a movie. only the frame was visible; everything else was flames; our trees were on fire; the roofs of both houses were starting to catch. i ran back in to get the baby, and saw my wonderful big girl had not listened to me because she ran to get the baby. she had him wrapped in a blanket and was bringing him out.

we ran outside and across the street. the fire trucks seemed to take forever. the neighbor's daughters had all been asleep inside! they are all teenagers or grown and had slept late. someone got them out by banging on the door, and their windows began exploding. we were all screaming. i was screaming, "christ, not the houses! please, not the houses!" my daughter was screaming about the cats but i thought if the fire spread to our house i would break a window at the far end so they could get out. someone told me to move my car, but i had the baby. she said, i'll hold the baby, get me the keys. it seemed the fire was going to be blown to my car. it was all i could do to hand my baby to a stranger but i did, ran in and got my keys and my phone and my asthma inhaler, which i have curiously not needed all day!

finally the trucks came. everyone wanted me to get out of the smoke but i couldn't leave the scene. my daughter went with my neighbor who kept her company during the birth. i went in finally and shut off the power; our water system was destroyed and was spraying water everywhere. our trees are dead and our wndows on that side broken, and the blinds melted. the neighbor's shed is gone with their beautiful motorcycle, their mower, golf cart, christmas ornaments, etc. of course it's all just things but how awful! they are all still here; i am back in the house with the baby and the AC on. fortunately there's no smoke in here and no real damage. the water system is being replaced as i write. neighbors are all stopping to offer clothes, food, etc. one man builds houses in the neighborhood and offered my neighbors an empty house to stay in. my husband rushed home from work.

my mother-in-law, however, when i called, didn't seem to care in the least- i thought maybe she would get katherine, who was so freaked out she went with the neighbor right away, rather than be here. i didn't even get to ask. my mil just said maybe she would come say goodbye to us tonight but they wouldn't stay because "katherine doesn't seem to enjoy julia" and it's "too stressful." she repeated several times they don't get along and that she didn't want to hang out. how she could do this to my daughter, when we just had a fire, let alone a new baby, i have no idea. this actually is what upset my husband so much he had to come home. he said he will ask them never to call us again, he is so angry at how our daughter has been treated all week. of course my daughter can be a pain in the ass like anyone else but she really is a sweet, kind person who can't be mean to anyone (even when she should!), who is really artistically talented, very smart and very unique. everyone who spends time with her compliments us on how warm and good she is- they feel a lot sorrier for her than we do when she's in trouble for something! so all that makes me even angrier my inlaws so blatantly favor her cousin. i am speechless, as i was while on the phone. they have done many, many cruel things over the years but this might finally be the end.

so while we are all still shaky we have gotten, as i said, a lesson in what's important. thank the stars everyone is safe and unharmed, even the rabbit! it's all the more reason i no longer have patience for family squabbles or interpersonal nonsense.

may everyone else be as safe and sound as we are today, and remember to be grateful without the reminder i got! and don't waste time on malarkey!

there are now happier explosions from my boy's diaper, so must dash!

[dharmama]

Oh Liz :eek OMG...I am SO relieved that you are all okay. I can't imagine how tramatic that must have been (of course it would be anytime...but ESPECIALLY post-partum). I'm so sorry your in-laws have not been supportive but glad your husband is going to talk to them.

BIG BIG :grouphug to you and your family (and your neighbors too).

[eilonwy]

:wave Hello everyone!

I've updated the list; as far as I can tell it's correct, but please let me know if I've forgotten someone, or if you've written your birth story so I can add the link.

Things are going fairly well in my corner of the world. I too have thrown some fits at my husband, the biggest and most horrid of which occured just last night and has had some very positive results. You know how I've been complaining that he hasn't helped me to do any cleaning the entire pregnancy? Well, last night was the last straw. We got an entertainment center from some friends and it was semi-assembled in the middle of the living room, and instead of moving it to the place it needed to go, he sat down to read a book!!! :rant :splat :rant I started throwing things and screaming and moving furniture. Seriously. Rivkah woke up and I said "You feed her, you seem to think that I don't do as much work as you do and you need the break more than I do. So you nurse her." :eyesroll He didn't like that much.

At any rate, I ended up sitting down nursing both kids, and changing their pants and I told Mike to get out of my way. When I tried to move the entertainment center, he freaked out and handed me the baby again. That's when I told him that I couldn't stand the mess anymore, and that if it wasn't a priority to him to live in a clean house that was fine, but he should just admit that to himself and to me so that I could do what needed to be done. Long story short, he's at home cleaning right now, and the kids and I are at my mother's house where my brother has just installed the ethernet cards on the computers so that I can be online. :thumb

Our own computer should be coming home tomorrow evening. :banana :balloons Hooray!! :balloons :banana Thank goodness for small favors!

Life with two kids is, thus far, very good. Eli loves his sister, and I've got some adorable pictures of the two of them together. :love He loves to give her kisses and to nurse with her. He actually tries to give her the breast when she lets go! :love It's the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life! :LOL He likes to nurse with her in his lap, and he pats her back or rubs her leg while they're nursing. It's just super lovey! :love :love

Rivkah is nursing very well, but she's got a horrific case of thrush. Eli has a little bit, and I've got a little bit; Rivkah seems to be the source. :shrug I don't know how, since she's never had antibiotics and I didn't have a yeast problem during the pregnancy at all, and even if I had she was born by c-section.. :shrug At any rate, I've swabbed her tounge and buns with gentian violet, and Eli's too, as well as my nipples. Already her tounge is less than half as thrushy as it was yesterday. That purple stuff is magic!

Hm. I think I'll write my birth story now, and get back here later. I've got so much to catch up on! Life is so crazy without a computer. :LOL Sweet kisses to all the babes and belly rubs & labor vibes to everyone still waiting.

[mattjule]

oh liz, how frightening! So so glad you are all safe!

Well, I think I am getting to the root of our nursing dilemma. It wasn't until tonight that I realized that both Tain and I have forgotten how to tell when the breast is empty. He has been nursing on empty breasts for so long now that as long as a little milk still comes out, he sucks away-and I don't try to unlatch him b/c he is still swallowing. But I think that is why his suck is so vigorous. So I am off to the bfing forum to hopefully get some advice about how to change that.

Rowan got his first bath today. We had gone out and he was so hot when we got home that I stripped him down to nothing while nursing him. So he had an explosion, followed by hiccup induced reflux all over me and himself. So off to the bath we went. He didn't know what to think of it, but seemed to think it was okay if he was nursing and I was holding him close. He is in the middle of a full body skin peel so I used a wash cloth in the bath. He looks pretty flaky right now but the new skin underneath sure looks nice :)

There are so many nice things about doing this the second time around. I actually got him and I in AND out of the tub by myself with no crying-something I never could have done with Tain in the beginning. And I am sleeping well at night so I am not needing to nap a whole lot during the day. Now granted, it is still the first week and he isn't really awake yet, but nursing at night isn't a learning process anymore so latching him on, etc is a piece of cake. Slings are easier since I know how to use them already. The crying during diper changes and for short spells in the car (he actually doesn't hate the car like his brother so he only cries when he is hungry and that is usually when we are close to home) don't freak me out and make me a crazy person. Man, it is nice. My pp period is going so much more smoothly and joyously than last time. It also helps that I am not so alone this time.

Anyway, dh has Rowan and I still need to get over to the bfing forum so I'll sign off for tonight.

Rynna-good to hear from you! I hope you all get rid of that thrush asap!

[eilonwy]

Liz, that sounds horrid! :eek I'm glad everyone is safe, though.

I am in the process of uploading pictures from Grandma's camera to Shutterfly; once we have our own computer back I'll get the ones from my own camera. Mike actually bought a disposeable camera to take pictures when Rivkah was born, and he told me that he'd shot them all before they even got to the nursery. :LOL He was just excited to see her, I guess.

Is anyone else totally in love with the smell of NewBaby? She's so yummy! Rivkah's babysmell is reminiscent of Eli's yet entirely unique. My niece was so funny, peeking over her crib during her ultrasound, she suddenly turned around and said "Rynna, why does your baby smell so good?!" :LOL I told her that it was because she only eats nursie-nursies. :nod She also told everyone she could that Rivkah "feels just like silk!" in a very excited, wonderstruck way. :love She's still really disappointed that she didn't get to see the actual birth, but she loves her new cousin nonetheless. I think that if someone in the family doesn't have a birth she can witness soon she's going to freak. :LOL Maybe SIL will let her be there in December when the next Bean is due. :)

I was wondering.. I was thinking of adding some stats to our sticky list, but I'm not sure if I should so I thought I'd ask first. Things like, biggest baby, how many homebirths planned/actual... anything else you wanna do. I can think of reasons to do it and reasons not to, so let me know what you think.

[3girlsmommy]

Good Morning everyone!

Liz- Wow! That's scary! I hope your oldest dd recovers quickly from the shock of it all. Big hugs to her!

Juile- I agree about the whole second baby thing. W/ my second I was so much more relaxed and slept so much better. W/ the third it gets even easier! :)

Rynna- I love smelling Lily! :love She smells so sweet! She's probably sick of me sniffing her though! :) I also love just rubbing her check w/ my cheek. It's the softest thing in the world! I'm so in love, can ya tell??


My mom has really ticked me off. She has basiclly ignored Lily. She had the older two while I was in the hospital and allowed them to trash the house and not pick up so I came home from the hospital and had to clean my house. The day Lily was born she never brought the girls up to meet their new sister until almost 2:00 in the afternoon. Lily was almost 12 hours old! I had asked her to please bring them up in the morning because I really wanted them there. And then they didn't stay very long because she wanted to get home to her pool! She has only seen Lily since if I bring Lily to her. She doesn't call and she hasn't done anything for Lily. With both of the other girls she went out and bought them a whole bunch of clothes and this time NOTHING. I'm just left sitting here wondering what the heck I did wrong this time! I just want a mom who is there for me. The whole thing bums me out. I can't help but wonder if she's mad that Lily is not a boy. :( She told me all along that if the baby was a girl then she wasn't going to do aything for her but I didn't think she really ment it. sigh! It's jsut been bugging me lately.

HAve a great 4th of July weekend!!

[eilonwy]

Geez, that sucks, Sandi. My family has actually done lots for Rivkah, but they hardly did anything for Eli when he was born. I don't think it's because they prefer girls, but because there's a bit more money around the family right now than there was when he was born. By contrast, my IL's bought lots of stuff for Eli but hardly anything for Rivkah. I'm not really sure why... maybe it's because she's the second, or maybe there just hasn't been enough time. It might also have something to do with the fact that SIL is away taking classes right now, and she's a much bigger fan of shopping for baby toys than FIL. :LOL

I told Mike on the ride home that now that we have a boy and a girl, I won't need to know the gender of baby #3 (I know, I can't believe I'm thinking about it either! :LOL). He grinned and laughed and then said "I don't know, I think I may be spoiled that way!" :LOL We'll see!

I haven't visited the LWAB forum.. in fact, I haven't visited any of the forums since a bit before our computer died. Speaking of which, I just found out that we're getting it back on WEDNESDAY. AAAAAGHHHHH!! I suppose I can live with that, but still it's really irritating, you know?

[mattjule]

sandi-I think that is aweful, no matter what the reason. But especially aweful if it is b/c Lily is a girl. I don't see why ppl think gender is a big deal. Granted, I would have LOVED to have a daughter but it is hardly Rowan's fault he is a boy and I definitely consider that to be my issue, not his. Which, BTW, I was totally over the minute I saw him :)

I love baby breath smell. I am sure Rowan just loves me sticking my nose in his mouth every time he yawns...

[mattjule]

hey when is it that smiles aren't just reflexes anymore? b/c he totally just smiled at me.

[eilonwy]

hey when is it that smiles aren't just reflexes anymore? b/c he totally just smiled at me.

I think they're not reflexes when they make eye contact while they're doing it. Rivkah smiles (one dimple! so cute!) but mostly in her sleep. She's such a lovey-doll!

I've been trying to get my NewBean some sunlight because she's a bit jaundaced. She got really warm and sweaty, so I brought her back inside. I keep wondering, though.. is there a time limit to how long you can leave them in the sun like that? And is it different if they're inside by a window than if they're outside in actual sun? I don't want to burn her tender baby skin, but I do want her to process that bilirubin, you know?

[mattjule]

my mw said 5 min in direct, 15-30 in indirect.

and i like the idea of stats, btw.

[dharmama]

Julie ~ Glad you asked that about the smiles. I've been wondering the same thing. Lily smiles all the time and it really seems to be in response to our voices but of course everyone keeps telling me it's just gas. :eyesroll She also smiles a lot in her sleep. It's so cute. She must dream about breastfeeding because she does these little sucking motions and then gets the biggest smile! :)

[wildthing]

I started a new thread. :)


http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=164991