Remembering our Spirit Children

[Jacque Savageau]

I'd like to start this thread so that we can share ideas on how to remember or memorialize the children we've lost.

Please share your ideas.

[sunshinemama]

We lost our baby on Mothers Day 1997. I will always remember going into the emergency room on Mothers Day, in pain, both physically and emotionally. So for me Mothers Day is always a hard day for me. I remember thinking I could not believe I was in the emergency room on Mothers Day of all days, it was such a slap in the face for me.

Now that I have had my Ds, Mothers Day is still hard for me. Friends and family want to just forget and move on, why dwell on something like that on such a happy day? I really try to celebrate lilfe on Mothers Day while remembering in my heart and soul that I am the mother to a baby who was lost on this day. I remember the tree we planted for baby Star (which we named the baby) and the healing I went through after my loss.

I know there will never be a Mothers Day that I won't be thinking of the baby we lost in 1997.

[rockergirrl]

I lost my first child on October 6th 1999 at 8 weeks gestation. Every year we celebrate on the day I would have given birth. Last year we mourned her passing when 10/6 came around. I now have a wonderful way to celebrate "little's" life. My son Enzo was just born on October 6th 2001 the exact same day "little" died two years later to the day.

I find that my husband and I end up having to remember and discuss "little" only with ourselves. People don't want to talk about it and now that my son was just born they expect me to move on from the memory of my first. I will never move on. I will forever remember.

[lisamarie]

What a wonderful thread. In the grief and loss group my ds and I attend, in December the family comes together to make a holiday ornament for our loved one that past. We celebrate Christmas, so every year we put an ornament on our tree to remember them and that's so they can be a part of our Christmas here on earth.

Warmly~

Lisa

[Jacque Savageau]

Grief is the hardest emotion for anyone to feel or understand in others. Society has thought us that sadness should be replaced with happiness.

I've done several things to remember my baby;
· Made donations to children’s organizations in her name
· Had a stone with her name set in our zoo’s ‘Path of Memory’
· Planted a flower garden
· Made a wall to remember her by
· We light a candle on her birthday
· We talk about her as a member of the family – my kids know they have a spirit sister (and they love it)
· We attend a memorial service every year with a pregnancy and infant loss group. We read poetry and release a balloon with a message to our babies.
· We have special ornaments we put on the tree each year
· I’ve written a LOT, her birth story, poetry and a short story

When we allow ourselves to feel – we altimetry heal.

[MoonBabiesMomma]

I made a web page memorial to the baby that I lost. I collected some poems, a song and some photos and scanned in a star chart that we got when we named a star as a remembrance.

My tribute is here-

http://moonbabiesstudio.com/aspen

I think after reading everyone's stories about children they have lost, the most important advice I have learned is to allow yourself to feel the pain, to cry and try to work through it in whatever way you feel is right in your heart. People who are not part of your grief seemed to want you to forget, to not talk about it and not feel the sadness that is so necessary. It has only been a little over a month since I lost my baby and the only way I can deal with it is to acknowledge what happened and let everyone else know that I will not forget about. Already, they want to forget and move on. That is so hard for me.

The best Christmas present that I got this year was a Christmas ornament from my mother. It was a silver star engraved with "Aspen's star, November 19, 2001" which is the day Aspen died. I was so touched that my mother gave me such a meaningful gift --it was the nicest present I think that anyone has ever given me.

[lisamarie]

Lara~

I was touched by your words and pictures. Your moon daughters have such deep, wonderful eyes that touched my soul. Thank you for sharing.

Warmly & Hugs~

Lisa

[Jacque Savageau]

What a beautiful tribute to Aspen. I'm so glad that you found a way to remember this precious baby.

As painfull as it is to remember, I do think that trying to forget is much harder.

Your moon babies are so beautiful! Obviously loved very deeply by their parents! I enjoyed your site - thank you for sharing!