HBing September Mamas? [Archive] - MotheringDotCommunity Forums

plantmommy

07-04-2004, 07:04 AM

I know of at least one HB mama due in sept. posting on the HB board, but I know there's more of us in here!

Am I foolhardy to not have someone lined up to look after my older kids this time? Last time, I had a dear friend come, and her job was just to look after the older kids (who were then 2 and 4) but she didn't make it until I was ready to push, anyway.

Labor was fine and dh was available to the kids until I hit transition, and actually I was hanging out with them for most of the time, anyway. When transition was coming on, we popped in a new video, and ds went and laid down in his own bed, in his room (which he NEVER did) and took a nap, as we were laboring in my bedroom (right next door) at the time. My friend ended up taking photos for us, as dd hung out and watched new dd being born. Ds woke up right after the birth.

This time, the kids are quite a bit older, with my youngest being the age my oldest was then.

I'd have someone come to be for them, anyway, but I don't really have anyone! I've since moved, and don't know anyone close by, and the friend that was at dd's HB is both working and caring for her 6 mo. old. The in-laws would be happy to come, I'm sure, but I just know that m-i-l would probably stress me out just by being in the house, and that she would not let the kids come and go from whereever I was, as they pleased, which I'd like them to do. I know she'd try to be helpful, but her idea of helpful and mine are rarely the same thing.

adventuregirl

07-04-2004, 12:00 PM

Oh yeah, there are a bunch of Sept HB-ers. I'm one and I can think of at least three more off the top of my head, and I'm sure there are more.

I have no other children, so I don't know what I would do in your situation. But, you know them, their temperments, etc, so you would be the best judge anyway. I'd say really think about the energy of the situation both ways and see how you feel about them both. Since they are older, you probably won't need someone quite as much as if they were little, and they will listen if you or your dh make something very clear. Sounds like your mil might be more stress to you, and you don't need that.

I'm starting to think about getting my supplies, that is exciting. Trying to decide if I should bother with renting a birth tub or getting a kiddie pool. We have a hot tub outside that could be nice for laboring if I want, we also have a pretty deep bathtub too, so I don't know if I should further crowd our 800 sf house with another item. I am not set on a waterbirth, but I know I will want to labor in the water, so I'm leaning towards a no on that.

I am really excited to give birth in my home. I just feels so right to me.

chrissy

07-04-2004, 01:35 PM

Me, I'm a September mama planning a homebirth! I"m so excited about it. I think about it and visualize what it might be like almost every night before I go to bed. With Noah I was induced and it took 36 hours and it was so awful and so painful and so uncomfortable. And then when he was born they thought he had swallowed too much fluid so I didn't even get to touch him for about an hour and a half (while they were busy sewing up my 4th degree tear, by the way). Then after I held him they took him away to the nursery and I kept having to ask and ask and ask before they finally brought him back.

So, this time is going to be soooooooooo different, I hope. I really like my midwife and I think we agree on everything labor and birth related.

I am hoping to definitely spend a lot of my time in labor in a tub or pool, and might deliver there too, though like Sheryl said, I'm not tied to that. I'm just planning to do what feels right at the time.

As for your question about other kids, I really don't know. My MIL lives right up the street and she and Noah are very very close. So we're planning for her to be here as Noah's support person. She and I don't always see eye to eye so we'll definitely have to have some discussion about how things will go. I really want her to be there to just follow Noah's cues. I would *LOVE* for him to see the baby being born, but if he's not up to it then that's fine too. It sounds like your kids might be fine without a specified support person. Maybe your MIL could kind of be on call just in case.

Sheryl, how fun to be gathering your supplies!! I'm supposed to have mine by 36 weeks so I've still got 8 weeks to get them. Are you ordering them all in one package from somewhere or amassing them yourself?

Now I think I'll go sew and daydream about laboring on a beautiful late summer day in a big tub of water on my back deck. :love

Kabes

07-04-2004, 08:25 PM

Me too! . . . .I hope. Dh is against this too (just like we disagree on circ.) Anyway, I am the one giving birthand I'm not leaving this house. I'm really excited I've always wanted a water birth and to catch the babe myself. With dd#1 the MW at the birth center wouldn't let me get into the tub. I had my records reviewed by the lead midwife and she said there was no reason for this!!, grrrrrrrr With my dd#2 I was allowed to labor in the tub but not to birth ther - against hospital policy. Of course when the time comes I may end up wanting to be out of the water; I'm open to that too. I just don't want anyone telling me I can't. Or makeing me do or not do things that are against what I want. This happened quite a bit w/ my other labors.

I haven't found anyone to be support for my girls. Everyone I've asked is either unwilling (a lot of my friends are still single and don't want to be 'scared' out of birth!?!) or unable to commit (they have small kids of there own). I've thought about trying to hire a doula but I'm afraid someone else will try to control my labor.

3boobykins

07-04-2004, 08:52 PM

We're having a homebirth in Sept, our second one with the same midwives we had for dd. We're planning a waterbirth again--absolutely loved it last time! We used the inflatable "fishy" pool, which we bought online for 20 bucks. We didn't end up keeping it--it was winter, and it got so dirty in the yard that we just tossed it, so we'll have to order a new one. We also plan to get a reverse pump to siphon out the water this time immediately after the birth. Last time it sat in our living room overnight and didn't smell too great by the next day! Also, dd will only be about 19 months when the baby arrives, and she's a little fish--we don't need her to go for a swim in bloody water!

For first-time hbirthers--I definitely recommend having all necessary birthing supplies on hand by 36 weeks, or whenever your midwife can legally attend your birth at home. DD arrived at 36 weeks, 2days, and I had JUST finished buying everything the day before.

As for our other kids, we'll be calling my mom early in labor. She lives about 1.5 hrs. away and has a wonderful relationship with dd and ds. DS was almost 3 when dd was born and was present for the birth. My mom took him for a walk during the more intense parts of labor, and we called her on her cell when I started pushing. We're not sure about dd--our midwife thinks she'd be fine at the birth, but we'll just play it by ear.

Chrissy, I get really excited visuallizing the birth also! We had such a beautiful experience with dd's birth (and ds's unexpected hospital birth as well), and I just can't wait to do it again, although I'm hoping this one holds out to at least 37 weeks.

ilex

07-04-2004, 11:25 PM

Me too! Interesting that everyone here is planning a partial waterbirth. I was thinking about this yesterday, but our house is quite small, maybe in the yard, but I don't know how comfortable I will feel with our too close for comfort neighbours nearby...

The most important thing, Plantmommy, is that you are not stressed, or worried about your kids. That you can concentrate on the task at hand and know they are okay and taken care of, and that you are comfortable. I am having almost the opposite problem...too many people want to be here!! And I feel like my picking and choosing is offending some like my mil and sil...BUT they will be 5 minutes away so I can call on them anytime if I need to. I am going to have my dh and my mom and possibly my sister here...and the midwives and maybe a doula...1-2 people for my dd on and off, but my 1st labour was 7 hours, so hopefully this one will be similar.

Right now I am in major nesting mode, just trying to fix up our newly moved into house, the way I want it before the baby comes. But it is really nice to put all of this energy into the place where the baby will be born.

CdnAloha

07-05-2004, 08:33 AM

I am planning a homebirth too. I am also back and forth on the waterbirth. My bathtub is okay, but it's just a regular size. I'll see if I am motivated to get a fishy pool and pump sometime in August. I am pretty sure I would enjoy being in the water, I'm just not sure I feel like setting it up. DH says he will go with whatever I feel like. :)

I feel like homebirth is the only way to go for me. I love being at home at any time especially when things are going on...can't think of a bigger and better event than birth. :)

Cheers,
Julia

JenInMpls

07-05-2004, 10:20 AM

To everyone considering giving birth in water, please, please, pretty please make sure that you sanitize your pool or tub before birth... My MD friend told me a nightmarish story about a 3-day-old being brought into neonatal ICU for a raging systemic staph infection after having been born into a birthing tub at a local hospital (no kidding!) and aspirating contaminated water because the tub had not been properly disinfected.

The birth process is designed to create a vacuum in the lungs on the way out, pushing out all of the liquid in the lungs and creating the situation to suck in air after birth.

I know it's a rare situation and that water birth is wonderful, but just be careful... you don't want to spend the first 2-3 weeks of your new baby's life visiting it in NICU.

Jen the paranoid

Mom2baldie

07-05-2004, 01:00 PM

Jen,

Wouldnt that nost likely not happen at home though because the germs in our tubs would be germs we are familiar with already?

Ive always read you dont have to worry too much about stuff like that happening at home for that reason. Obviously in a hospital you will be coming into contact with germs, bacteria that youve never "experienced" before and thats why ther would be a problem?

chrissy

07-05-2004, 01:04 PM

Also, I thought babies don't breathe until they come out of the water. I mean, of course you aren't supposed to let them hang out under water for a long time, but if you catch them and then bring them to the surface won't they wait until the air hits them to breathe? (whew, that was a long sentence)

Mom2baldie

07-05-2004, 01:09 PM

Planning a homebirth here also. Still undecided about waterbirth. I figure I will do what feels right at the time. I labored almost completely in water with DD, and Im sure I will spend lots of time in my tub this time as well, but who knows where I will feel like pushing...

I am also thinking about getting some supplies together, although there really isnt much to get. My midwife gave me a list of very basic stuff: towels, washrags, dropcloth, plastic mattress cover, extra set of sheets, cotton balls... and I pretty much already have everything. I looked at some of the places where you can buy birth kits, but I think most of that stuff would remain unused so we wont bother buying one. Seems like a waste of money (for us, since we have NO money at the moment and most of it was not even on the supply list). My midwife said the most important thing is to have food to eat during and after labor!

So it looks like I am already all set! :)

And, about the childcare, I am having a friend come and help my DH watch my children if Im laboring during the day. Hopefully it will be during the night though and they can sleep through most of it!

Mom2baldie

07-05-2004, 01:12 PM

Chrissy,

I dont know for sure, but I dont think they breathe until their skin touches air...or maybe until their umblical cord touches air that they have the reflex or whatever to began breathing?

I dont know, havent really read much about waterbirth, since Im not THAT interested in having one.

Robertsgirl

07-05-2004, 01:30 PM

ME TOO ME TOO!!!! We are having our first in Sept and planning a homebirth. Our midwife provides a rubbermade horse trough so we have the option to labor in water. She said she likes it better than the blow up tubs because the shape of it is more supportive to the Mom pushing and also the sides are more stable. I can't wait. I LOVE the water anytime and usually work thru my migraines naturally in a hot shower, so I'm sure that diving in a big tub o water will be my first instinct in labor.

As for supplies, we have a big list from our MW but she is also really awesome in that she can tell us the cheapest places to get all of the stuff. SO COOL! She knows which dollar stores and closeout places carry all the stuff we need. The only thing we are wondering about is finding cheap sheets for a King size bed. It seems that people think since we have a King size mattress that we are made of gold or something!!!

We don't have any other children to worry about this time, but I will say that I would NEVER (OK, I KNOW never say never but) want my MIL anywhere close when I'm in labor. She stresses me out under normal circumstances! :eyesroll

Christi
that needs to figure out how to make a signature line for this board!

plantmommy

07-05-2004, 03:59 PM

Christi, from the HB board here someone suggested getting plastic shower curtain liners for waterproofing the bed. I'm sure you could get a few of those from the dollar store. Otherwise, don't worry about it. Honestly, the only thing my midwives didn't do last time was the laundry; dh let it sit in the basement until I got around to it, two weeks later, and I just soaked everything in the washer with cold water and a bunch of Murphy's Oil Soap, and there wasn't a stain on anything! Love my Murphy's. Or, check overstock.com for markdowns. I buy all my king sized sheets there!

Kara, maybe your little ones will be in tune, like ds was when I was in labor last time; when the going got rough for me and dh had to give me all of his attention, ds went to sleep! I have read that little ones intuit the situation and respond accordingly.

The birth tub we used, and will use again is the Aquadoula, and it has a disposable plastic liner; nobody's germs but mine and dh's! I wonder what happened in that birth for the baby to aspirate the tub water? That is a very rare occasion. Isabelle had the cord around her shoulder, so was actually crowned and still under water for a few (seconds? minutes? I had no sense of time, but it was through a few cntx) and she didn't breathe until she was lifted out of the water. The baby has no room to take a breath until they are completely out of the birth canal.

JenInMpls

07-05-2004, 05:37 PM

I don't know the whole story about how the baby got contaminated with staph - I know that my pal was working an NICU rotation at the time and that's how she found out about it, and the swab that was done indicated that the infection came from the birthing pool. Do note that it did happen at a hospital which means that the contamination could very well have been from the woman who used it prior to this baby's birth if the tub was improperly sanitized.

All I'm sayin' is make sure your tub is clean! I have no strong opinion about water birth and am not making a case for or against it.

jen

OnTheBrink

07-05-2004, 07:48 PM

Hi! Planning a September home birth here... a VBAC, in fact. We are really looking forward to it!

I did not plan to have Emma in a hospital at all. I had planned a waterbirth with her. But, she was breech at 41 weeks when labor started. So, we had a c-section. I was disappointed, but overall, it was a good experience. My MW's husband was the OB who did the surgery. It was peaceful and included many of the things I wanted in the original birth plan - aromatherapy, music, my support people (husband, midwife, and sister), cloth diapers, etc.

My MW brings all the supplies when she comes for the home visit at 36 weeks. We just supply sheets and clothing, plus the "special" stuff we want like candles and food!

Oh, Emma will be 3.5 and very much wants to be here for the birth. She knows more than most adults about how birth happens. She is very disappointed that she fell asleep before her cousin was born at home 7 months ago. But the video is her top favorite movie! I am pretty sure she'll be present for the birth, but if not, my mother will be here as Emma's support person. (translation: book reader, ice cream server, bath giver, you name it!)

msrog

07-05-2004, 09:47 PM

Hi, MommyMoses and Christi!! Please post more often. These Sept. moms are a fun group...

I am reading these posts and getting so jealous that I can't have a home waterbirth this time, WAAAAAAHHH!

I can't wait til next time, though. And I also don't think dh will be on board with the idea, at least not at first... But like Kabes, I'm the one giving birth and I'll just refuse to leave the house! heh heh heh.

Happy birthing, HB mommies!

blipla

07-06-2004, 05:49 AM

Hi, I'm new around here and planning a homebirth. This is my fourth child and second homebirth. I'm switching this week from a CNM practice that delivers only in a hospital setting to a homebirth midwife. Our financial situation didn't allow it at the beginning of my pregnancy and I didn't realize how much I really wanted a homebirth until it became possible. I'm so much more into the whole thing now-and much happier too!

plantmommy

07-06-2004, 06:26 AM

Savannah, I suspected twins early in this pregnancy, and had this whole scheme planned out with my midwife on how we could still have them at home. She's a licensed CNM, so she couldn't legally be the attendant if it was confirmed twins, so I was going to have a LM attend as the official attendant (my MW was going to recommend someone) while my CNM would come unofficially, so that we could still have her here, with her experience and her loving support. Luckily, we confirmed via U/S that it was a singleton, since my MW will be out of the country for a month and not returning until I'm almost 38 weeks. We had to know whether our contingency plan was really necessary. LOL!

After my first HB, I could never go back.

blipla, congrats on the realization of a dream! HB is a wonderful thing.

Robertsgirl

07-06-2004, 12:57 PM

:crying

Well I may not get my homebirth after all. We had a midwife appt yesterday. We had had an US done at 28 weeks to confirm if we were having twins or not as I was measuring way ahead. Obviously we found out right there at the US that we were only having one and went on our merry way. Yesterday was the first MW appt we had since the US. She told us that we have marginal placenta previa, and since it was found this late there is a chance it isn't going to move. We have another US scheduled for 34 weeks, 3 weeks from now. We are praying fervently that the placenta moves and nothing happens to me or Spud between now and then.

I'm scared and heart broken. If it hasn't moved at our
next US we have to transfer to an OB and have a
hospital birth and probably a C section. That terrifies
me. Having my baby cut out of me and taken away by a
stranger does not seem even somewhat of an acceptable
birth to me. I know people have them safely all the
time but it is not what I want or even something I want
to consider. And I don't even want to talk about my
fears of the pain meds and the fact I'll be cut in
half, ick. And I'm scared they'll do something to my
baby that I don't want, like give them a bottle or
shots or something.

Anyway, I thought I would share here because I think alot of you could relate to how terrified and saddened I am. I just want to scream out....I"M NOT SICK AND NEITHER IS MY BABY DON'T TREAT US LIKE CANCER PATIENTS OR SOMETHING!

Christi

chrissy

07-06-2004, 01:09 PM

Oh Christi!!!! Lots of :hug to you! I will be sending "move up" thoughts to your placenta. My placenta was a marginal previa early on with Noah but it moved up and totally out of the way as my uterus grew. From my limited knowledge on the subject I do think a *true* previa is cause for a c-section but I would think that at this stage your uterus still has plenty of growing to do and if it is only a marginal previa at this stage it will hopefully be completely out of the way in time for your birth. I"m sorry that you are going to have this worry while you wait to see if it does move.
More :hug

OnTheBrink

07-06-2004, 01:12 PM

Oh, Christi! That's really tough! I'm sorry you have to worry about all of this right now.

And now I'll tell you what you don't want to hear: It's is TRULY OK if you have a cesarean birth. It can be a wonderful way to begin a life!

I did not always believe this! I certainly did not believe it or want to even think about it while I was planning my beautiful waterbirth for my daughter. I refused to think about it at all, even when she was breech at 41 weeks. I said it would never happen to me as we tried EVERYTHING to turn her. And then I went into labor and we decided to head to the hospital.

The cesarean birth really was a beautiful thing. My doctor was wonderful and accomodated many of my wishes - aromatherapy, music, cloth diapers, etc! My sister, husband, and midwife were with me. Emma was never without one of her parents and never had formula or pacifiers or shots or anything. We went home 40 hours later.

I tell you all of this because I spent the first 3 months of my daughter's life PISSED OFF that I didn't get what I wanted. It took me nearly a year to come to grips with the fact that we made the best decision for her, even though it didn't match my dream ideas.

So - even though you don't want a cesearean birth, I suggest thinking of it as a very real possibility. If you can start thinking of it as a positive thing now, you will not be clouded by anger and frustration after the birth. It's a hard thing to do, but it would be a wonderful thing for you and your baby.

Best wishes!

almama

07-06-2004, 04:05 PM

Homebirth here! We have 2 kids already (1 and 4) and I'd like them to stay around if possible. We'll call up a few neighbors and friends and ask if they would be willing to pinch hit if necessary, but I'd rather have them around. My 2nd birth was at home and my then 2 yo stayed until about 45 before the birth. My neighbor brought him over to her house to play for an hour and then he came back to snuggle with his brother. It was so nice. It gave us time to clean up a bit too, so all he saw was the baby and not the blood. I think they could handle being around though.

banana girl

07-06-2004, 04:19 PM

About halfway through our pregnancy we decided to pay out of pocket to have the homebirth we dream of. It's a big chunk o change, but the universe provided us with the money, so we decided to go for it!

Our midwife provides the birthingtub, but we do need to buy a birthing kit and some other supplies. been meaning to order it and simply haven't followed through... better get on that!

I am looking forward to laboring in water and hope to be the one to "catch" the baby and bring him / her up out of the water and into the world!

We are intending to have my mother and sister there as well as the Jerome and the midwife. Everyone has been warned that they may have to go away and leave me alone, when i say so, but I hope to be singing with my sister and mother, while Jerome strokes my back....

Sentimentally yours
Anna Banana

fourlittlebirds

07-06-2004, 06:37 PM

Oh Christi, I'm sorry you're having to deal with this stress. But think of it this way: there is a very good chance that your placenta *will* move. It probably wouldn't hurt though to start scouting out OBs, because if you do have to have a cesarean it could definitely be better or worse depending on who is caring for you. On my site (link below) there is a link to an article called "Humanizing Cesarean Birth", which might be helpful to read. And I know someone who had two beautiful cesareans (they were planned, as yours would be,) with, yes, dimmed lights, soft music playing, and the baby stayed with the mom and dad from the moment of birth. Not ideal, and there would definitely be a more difficult recovery, but it need not be horrible either. :hug

Anyway, I'm a homebirther too! All of mine have been born at home, the first two with midwives, the last unassisted. My second was a waterbirth. It was fine, but I think I prefer birth on dry land. I LOVED laboring in the water for various reasons, but when it came to the actual birth it really didn't feel to me like it made a difference to be in the water. Plus, it was *really* hard for me to get out of the tub afterwards, and then I was all wet and had to dry off before I could get comfy in bed. Too much of a hassle for me.

Jen, I have to wonder if the baby aspirated water because it was heavily suctioned after the birth? This happens sometimes with dry land births, only it's the uterine fluids that are aspirated. As for staph -- to hear my nurse friend talk, it's rampant in hospitals, ugh! And I agree that if you're renting or borrowing a tub to make sure it's well disinfected!

We don't know what we're going to do with the kids yet. I probably won't decide until I'm actually in labor. :) If it happens at night, it won't be an issue as they'll be sleeping. But if it's during the day... I don't know. I would like for my husband and I to be able to be intimate (wink, wink) during labor but I know that my oldest boy would like to be at the birth if he's awake. We do have relatives that the kids are comfortable with and could stay with, but I'm not really excited about the idea of letting them know I'm in labor.

Edited to add: for my second birth, my first stayed with his grandparents, which I think was good since he was a little young (21 months) to understand why I would be acting like I was being tortured if everything was really okay. For my third, the boys stayed here with no support person. They were fine, watched cartoons, every once in a while coming in to check on me (one of the most beautiful memories I have of that birth is my older boy -- he was 4 at the time -- comforting me.) Then about an hour before the birth they both fell asleep -- I think they missed all the loud noises, but if they had been awake my husband would have tended to them and that would have been fine, since he was honestly totally superfluous to the process at that point.

mum2tori

07-06-2004, 08:23 PM

Not planning a homebirth here but wanted to say...

:w to Nancy/Mommymoses!! I recognize you from Amity. :) Your page about your first husband always touched me. Congratulations of your re-marriage and pregnancy!! Nice to see you over here too. Be sure to join in our regular "weekly" thread. Lots of chatting there. :)

Also I wanted to say to Christi as hard as it might seem, a C-section doesn't have to be a horrible experience. I had placenta previa in my first pregnancy. Luckily it was marginal (found very early at 19wks) and it did move with the growth of the uterus, I was able to have a vaginal birth. If you DO have placenta previa, a c-scetion is the only way. The baby won't be able to birth through the cervix because of the placenta. That is not something you want to risk if at all possible. I agree with Linda and start checking into OBs. The right OB can make a huge difference in a birth/labor experience. Many are not as nightmarish as the reputation of the horrible OB. It's finding the one that fits with your desires. There are ones out there. Try not to dwell on the negative aspect of the c-section and concentrate of the positives... a safe and heathy delivery of your precious one.

fourlittlebirds

07-06-2004, 09:04 PM

mum2tori

07-06-2004, 11:56 PM

"The baby won't be able to birth through the cervix because of the placenta."

Actually that's not true! But it does greatly increase the risk of hemorrhage and of the baby being stillborn, so it's a c-section regardless.

Sorry guess I should have been a little more explict and also explained about the certix causing contractions and tearing apart the placenta, the danger of the baby causing damage to the placenta, the high risk of hemorrhage and still-birth. Just didn't want to get too graphic and scare her.

I totally agree, placenta previa is a C-section only delivery.

Hopefully Christi's is marginal enough that it will continue to move away from the cervix before she full-term and she'll be able have a vaginal birth.

fourlittlebirds

07-07-2004, 12:20 AM

Oh, I'm sorry, I sounded like I was being a smarty-pants! :eyesroll And I see now that you didn't mean that it literally could not be born that way, just that it's too dangerous to risk. In any case, it hardly matters, eh?

mum2tori

07-07-2004, 12:42 AM

;) Smooches!

Mom2baldie

07-07-2004, 09:52 AM

Christi,

I dont know if youve seen this or not, but it was something I got off the ICAN list...

Dashe, JS et al. Obstet Gynecol. May 2002. 99(5 Pt 1):692-7

Persistence of Placenta Previa According to Gestational Age at
Ultrasound Detection

Incidence of placenta previa persisting to term when the previa
was discovered at x weeks of pregnancy:

15-19 weeks -- 12% persistence to term
20-23 weeks -- 34% persistence to term
24-27 weeks -- 49% persistence to term
28-31 weeks -- 62% persistence to term
32-35 weeks -- 73% persistence to term

Complete previa was more likely to persist than incomplete previa,
and prior cesarean was an independent risk factor for persistent
previa among those diagnosed in the second trimester.

However, even when previa is present late in pregnancy, about 1/4
still do "move up" and resolve by term.

You might want to subscribe to the ICAN-Online email support list at yahoo groups... Its not only for women planning VBACs or recovering from cesareans, you might also find more info about planning a cesarean and/or things you can do afterward to make your recovery go smoother...(in case you do indeed have to have one)

Im sorry you are having to deal with this. :hug I had a c/s with my 1st child so if you ever need to talk feel free to PM or email me at mom2baldie@aol.com

Robertsgirl

07-07-2004, 01:21 PM

You guys are so awesome! I knew I'd get some good support here. Thank you all for your stories and info. I unfortunately had done a search on the web and so I know all the scary horror stories out there, sometimes ignorance really is bliss....sigh. My placenta just barely had a lip over the cervix at the US at 28 weeks, and since it was found later in pg, I had read it is less likely to move, but that is still what we are hoping for.

Tell me if you think this is crazy or not. I was thinking that if it will even move a little bit, then maybe I can find an OB that will at least let me TRY a vaginal delivery in a hospital. That way if I start hemoraging or Spud starts having problems then we can do the C. Is that just really nuts to even consider, do you think?

I've been bookmarking all of the websites for C section support that you guys have posted. Thank you. I haven't read any of them yet and don't want to until I know for sure from the next US that I do need to reconcile that possibility......just not ready to let go of my homebirth dream yet.

Speaking of that, I am really thinking that if my PP does clear itself up and I do get to go ahead with my homebirth that I will be alot more open to accepting the blessing of natural at home birth. Just because I have had to considered this other alternative. I really think it is going to give me a strength to draw on when things get tough during labor. I've never been scared of labor, I've always pictured it as a squat in the woods kind of scenario, completely natural and healthy and what my body was made to do. So hopefully that is what we'll get to attempt to achieve.

Thank you girls sooooooooo much for being here. Sorry to take the thread off on a tangent!

Christi

Mom2baldie

07-07-2004, 01:41 PM

Christi,

I dont know what I would do if I were in your situation... Its a hard decision to make. I dont think I would even try to have a vaginal birth if the placenta was within 2 or 3 cms of my cervix just because the potential for problems would be too great. I know that emergency cesareans also have more risks and Im just not sure I would want to chance it. You would have to find out exactly what your OB would want to do if you were hemmorhaging. It seems like there could be some very rash decisions made in that situation...

However, as someone who had to go through all kinds of hell just to have a VBAC with DD I wouldnt want to just go into another cesarean since the climate for VBAC is so disgusting right now, not to mention the increased risk to pregnancies after a c/s. After all, just having 1 c-section increases the risk of having placental problems such as previa or accreta in future pregnancies, which is the situation you are in right now. It seems crazy to do something that would possibly put you at higher likelyhood of it happening again... I would research what exactly the stats are about that before you decide anything, because I know that some risk factors for placenta previa are past cesareans and past placenta previa.

I dont know...what ever you decide to do I wont think youre nuts! I will think you are a very strong woman trying to make the best decisions for yourself, your baby and your future babies. I hope that something changes for you and you dont even have to think about this situation again!

:hug :hug :hug

fourlittlebirds

07-07-2004, 02:01 PM

"Tell me if you think this is crazy or not. I was thinking that if it will even move a little bit, then maybe I can find an OB that will at least let me TRY a vaginal delivery in a hospital. That way if I start hemoraging or Spud starts having problems then we can do the C. Is that just really nuts to even consider, do you think?"

Not at all. But I think that there is no way you will be able to find an OB that will let you try that unless the placenta truly is out of the way. However, one OB might define "out of the way" differently than another. I would definitely attempt it as long as the placenta was not actually blocking the cervix -- the main concern if it is, is that the placenta will be born first. If the baby has room to be born first, there can still be problems, but they are very much reduced, especially the possibility of the baby being harmed. Hemorrhage is still a concern, but they can deal with that. My plan of action would be to attempt to give birth as gently and as possible so that the placenta is less likely to be disturbed during the labor -- no forced pushing, in other words, and no drugs (including pit.)

mama2annabelle

07-07-2004, 10:26 PM

Another September homebirthing mama here. We'll at least that's what I'm planning/hoping for. I've been dealing with preterm labor since 23 weeks and am praying to make it to 37 weeks so I can have my homebirth. So far it's looking great. I haven't had any major episodes of contractions in over 2 weeks so I'm becoming more and more confident that this little guy is going to stay inside until he's truely ready to be born. I, like many others here, am planning to labor in the water. We have a nice big garden tub that will be perfect. I don't know if I will give birth in the water though...I'm just going to wait and see how I feel when the time comes. I'm taking a waterbirth class my MW does, just in case.
My DD will be just turning 2 when this one is due. I don't think she will handle hearing my vocalizations in labor very well...I think it will scare her. She's very sensitive. I do want her to be near though so she can see the baby right away. My mom has already volunteered to take care of her which is great b/c that's one less person I have to say No to when they ask if they can be present for the birth. When DD was born I had my mom, MIL, 2 sisters, and DH and the midwife present. That was just WAY too many people, IMO. This time it's going to just be DH and me and the midwife. I would like someone to take pictures and video, but I can't think of who will be the least intrusive person. My sister did the video last time and she didi a very good job, but she's loud and chatty. I need to find someone who will be there working the camera, but also be somewhat invisible. Does that make sense?
Anyway, great to see so many hb mommies here. I can't wait to hear all the birth stories in September.

adventuregirl

07-08-2004, 09:44 AM

So great to see so many of us here!

Christi, it sounds like you are doing your best to inform yourself and I will also keep you and your rising placenta in my thoughts.

Chrissy, I have to have my supplies by 36 weeks to, which give me about 4 weeks to do so. I have to order a custom birth kit that my mw uses, and in addition I will gather some other things, most I have around the house, but I need to get them in the same place.

I can't believe that I could possibly have my baby at home in 4 short weeks! I sure am planning on about 8, but holy moly, time is moving fast!

HeatherB

07-12-2004, 04:12 AM

I'm also a September mama planning a HB! I am very much looking forward to this birth. I'm at the point of wanting to spend all my time thinking about the birth, the baby, and/or cloth diapers! LOL I am so glad the time is getting close (8+ weeks for us), but also can't believe just how fast it's slipping away.

We had an appt with our midwife on Friday and added quite a few "do at/by 36 weeks" things to the list. Seems to be the "magic time" to do everything! I'm hoping to have most if not all of the birth supplies collected in the next few weeks, clear of the 36 week mark. I'm still in need of the baby's dipes (CDing for the first time), which is what I'm focusing on mostly. If only this didn't all take money!! LOL I'm hoping that as we get nearer to the date other family will decide if they want to help with anything. Our family was fabulous to us last time (when DH had been unemployed for 9 months and I was unable to work), and we had everything we needed for our DS. God is good. :) I get a bit anxious wondering how it'll all come together this time, though. :)

Our DS is now 2 - will be 30 months just after the baby's due date. He is VERY interested in the baby, birth, etc. My mom will come to be with him through labor. I'll have some special activities planned for them (perhaps some cooking, crafts, etc.), and he'll have all of his normal things to do, too. I expect he'll want to witness the birth itself (he begs to see births on TV!), but if not, he'll at least be around immediately afterward. I can't wait to see his face when his baby sister/brother is born! I was actually just trying to figure out who would take pictures of his reaction (and everyone else's, too). That's one moment I want to never forget!

Anyhow, glad to see some familiar faces here... MommyMoses I know from BabyCenter boards. Other names are already getting familiar from other MDC forums. Hopefully I can find the time to keep up with the activity here! :)

gaeamama

07-15-2004, 10:45 PM

I'm new on this thread and section of the board.
I'm having my third child in September and just started planning for a homebirth. I finally convinced my husband this is the way to go. I basically accepted I'd be back in the hospital with my MW this time, but as it got closer, I just wasn't feeling comfortable with is. So we started talking about it again. We're meeting with a HB MW next week. We were supposed to meet yesterday, but she had a birth! Oh well. She comes recommended by a few of my friends, so I'm feeling good about it, and excited about all that lies ahead. I haven't prepared anything, but honestly am not too worried about it. The baby will come either way. ;)

Looking forward to chatting with you all some more!

plantmommy

07-16-2004, 07:46 AM

Ah, but part of the joy of hb is there isn't all that much to prepare! You need to order a birth kit, most likely, but other than that, not so much. It's not like you have to have bags packed! LOL!

Welcome!

Mom2baldie

07-23-2004, 09:58 AM

Christi,

I was just thinking about you and wondering how you are doing? I'd love an update on your "placenta situation" if you have the time!

greenbeing

07-23-2004, 10:36 AM

Homebirther here as well! Getting excited to get my birth kit and gather what I need. I still do have weeks before I need to get ready, but I'm so dang excited that I may begin getting things soon!

Christ, I'm wondering the same...

Robertsgirl

07-23-2004, 12:35 PM

Awww, thanks for asking guys! I feel special. I actually am calling today to schedule our US next week. I'm trying to put it off as long as possible to make sure we've given it every chance to move. I'll be 34w5d next Thurs, which is when we are going to try and get the appt, so hopefully we'll get good news. I have a good feeling about it, but you never know. I'll certainly post as soon as we have news. Our MW is going to the US with us so that they will give her the report while we are there, instead of us having to wait. She's also going to force them to just do the placenta inspection and leave the baby alone. Last time I almost went nuts lieing on my back for almost an hour...and I was very sore and uncomfortable for a whole day afterwards.

Question for you guys! We got our part of our birth kit from our MW on Tues. We figured out what most of the stuff was for, except for two straws. Any ideas why we would need straws? Ok maybe for drinking, but ..........any ideas???

plantmommy

07-24-2004, 04:03 PM

LOL! Yes, they are just to make it easy for you to drink while in labor. Sipping out of a straw is easier in awkward positions than is drinking from a glass.

Mom2baldie

07-24-2004, 07:44 PM

Christi,

Well I will be thinking about you this coming week! Dont forget to let us know what happens! Good luck!

Robertsgirl

07-29-2004, 07:34 PM

Ok, we went and had our US. The tech wasn't super cooperative with Lori, but we do have a little info, but no answer yet. The tech would tell Lori that the placenta is posterior instead of anterior, which Lori says is good news. Also, Lori said from the views she saw there is a possibility that it has moved, but she couldn't tell for sure. She is going to call tomorrow but isn't really expecting to have the report done until Monday. So that's what we know. A little disappointing as I was ready to be done with this. In good news, if we do have to do an OB, she has one that she trusts and will go to with us when we got to see him and he's on our HMO plan, so that is a positive if things turn out negative, LOL!

allibabble

07-29-2004, 07:47 PM

Allison the newbie here...

I'm planning a homebirth too. I sort of stumbled into the idea from that initial panic of "WHAT?!? I'm pregnant?" after I went through the but-I'm-not-insured dance. On a recommendation, I called a local midwife (Lay/Direct-Entry) and felt better after getting off the phone with her than I had in quite some time. Even better, her cost was a fraction of what I could have expected for a hospital *normal* birth.

As time's gone on, and I've read everything I could put my hands on, I've come to be really excited that I'm homebirthing, and feel blessed in a way that I "happened" onto this path. I've been reading about UC as well -- and have yet to decide at what point in labor I will call my midwife. If nothing else, the exposure to what CAN go wrong has helped me to start a list of preferences for how my birth should go.

Water...(oh, that was another thread, wasn't it?) may or may not happen. I have a kiddie pool already -- a local store had the same ones you see online on sale for $12, so I not only bought mine, but picked up a few for my midwife as well. I think I'll want to labor in the pool for part of it, but until I'm in the moment, have no idea if I'll prefer birthing in the tub, or on dry land.

plantmommy

07-29-2004, 08:22 PM

Welcome, Allison!

We got the call today from the expecting mom who had my mw's aquadoula tub (well, actually from her dh) and tomorrow my dh will go pick it up. Of course, I forgot to get or order liners, so it'll be a week or so til I get to test it out! Normally I'd have gotten it from the mw, but she's out of the country until 8/21.

I spent a lot of time in that tub while waiting for Isabelle to be born, just as a great way to relax in those last few weeks.

KittyUK

07-30-2004, 09:04 AM

I'm also planning a homebirth with paddling pool. My first birth was medicated nightmare in hospital. This time I want it to be OH so different!
I'm still a bit wary about how I will cope without all the pain relief thrown at me. My first birth took all confidence away from me :angry
I've read just about everything I can to keep me positive and am hoping that subconsciously all this knowledge will get me through the birth.
Did any of you have a medicated birth followed by a homebirth and feel the same? ie: were you nervous about how you would cope? How did it go?
I'm constantly looking for good stories :)

Kitty

banana girl

07-30-2004, 09:18 AM

I'm still a bit wary about how I will cope without all the pain relief thrown at me.
were you nervous about how you would cope? Kitty

Hey Kitty!
Yes I am nervous about how i will cope, but I feel very confident in my ability to find ways to cope when i get there.

One of the things i do now to help myself prepare is to pay attention to how i react to pain right now. for instance, I've been getting horrible burning indigestion regularily and instead of complaining and feeling sorry for myself, I say out loud (after a big hot burp) "I'm not suffering! I am simply experiencing a strong sensation." " this will pass" The weird thing is that it seems to help is go away faster... I'm not holding on to the "pain".... I let it go.

I really hope this helps me when I am in labor... I'm a newbie (with high ideals) Te he hee!

KittyUK

07-30-2004, 11:31 AM

I really hope this helps me when I am in labor... I'm a newbie (with high ideals) Te he hee!

:LOL

You know I'm sure it will help. When i went for my amnio I did the same thing. I used it as practice for relaxation. And I virtually fell asleep while they were sticking that needle in me. I honestly didn't feel a thing. I also do the same thing if I'm carrying heavy shopping. Instead of changing hands to carry the bag, I try to go past the pain threshold a bit more than I would usually. All these little things probably help. I think it makes us tougher and gives us great practice:thumb
Relaxation is probably the biggest key to managing pain. I spent 12 hours at home in labour, and it's only when I got into the hospital that my pain got worse. I hate hospitals and I was very tense by the time I got there. This time I hope it will stay bareable because I won't be going somewhere where I feel scared.

Mom2baldie

07-30-2004, 08:24 PM

Christi,

Well it sounds like you did get a bit of good news at least... Were you able to find out more today?

chrissy

08-01-2004, 08:19 PM

Christi, It sounds pretty positive. I hope you get an all clear report tomorrow (or soon).

Something I've been thinking of lately is, what kind of food to have around for during and right after the birth. I definitely want to have food available for my midwife, and of course my family, during my labor, and I guess I need to start thinking about what I might want to eat right after the baby is born. Why do I focus on these strange things???? What are you all planning?

fourlittlebirds

08-01-2004, 09:56 PM

I never have -- I didn't even think of it the first time, and the second time the midwife wasn't there long enough that she needed food. I did bring food to a birth I was at to videotape -- a bunch of different bagels and spreads and the midwives devoured them. :)

My 1st and 3rd births were at night so I didn't eat afterwards -- all I really wanted to do was sleep. My 2nd birth was in the afternoon, and I had a couple of bowls of kashi and some pad thai that a friend brought over. I enjoyed it SO much, I think not because the food itself was so great, but because I was so high from the physical exertion and joy of the birth. This time, I don't know, I'll probably just have my husband make me a grilled cheese or something. :)

KittyUK

08-02-2004, 08:04 AM

I haven't thought about food either yet, but thai sounds good!

I thought we might make some pasta salads and couscous and potato salad/pitta bread and houmous etc and have it in the fridge to dip into, so that nothing has to be cooked.

After my starvation diet after my hospital birth, I'm going to really look forward to EATING this time.

sistermama

08-02-2004, 08:00 PM

I ate pizza after I had Jack, and boy did it taste good!!!

greenbeing

08-02-2004, 08:58 PM

I think about that too, Chrissy. My birth is 8 weeks away and here I am trying to plan what I'll eat and what the midwives will eat. My midwives even offer to cook a meal for us after the birth as long as we have all the ingredients.

Maybe as the time gets closer I'll be able to think of something.

chrissy

08-02-2004, 10:42 PM

In the hospital after Noah was born I sent my MIL out to IHOP for hash browns and pancakes. I guess I better have some carbs on hand, or some money for take out! :)

plantmommy

08-03-2004, 08:27 AM

I don't think I'm doing anything special for food. I might have dh make and freeze his excellent manicotti.

Meanwhile, the birth tub is here! I really want to set it up and try it out, but the in-laws are coming down this weekend, and I don't want to have to have a Q&A about it.

Robertsgirl

08-03-2004, 04:34 PM

Even if you aren't a letter writer, would you please consider posting this in your journals so that maybe some of your friends could get involved. This is a letter from my midwife with links to more info. Thanks girls!
PS We still don't have a report back from my US and its really wearing on me emotionally. Kind of hard to plan for a birth when you have NO IDEA what kind of a birth to plan for.
************************************************** *********
Dear clients, friends and family,
First let me tell you that I am not asking for any financial support or donations so please continue to read on . I know this is long but PLEASE read through it. I need you to help us protect your right to have a midwife care for you during your pregnancy and to have your baby the way you want!! Lori

Dear friends,
CALM (Californians Advocating Licensed Midwifery) has asked us LM's(licensed midwives) to PLEASE get our clients, friends and family to join us in a letter writing campaign to First Lady Maria Shriver.

We've been trying for several years to increase your access to LM's care and one thing has become clear - There will be no easy or logical path to accessing our right to practice midwifery in California. No matter what has been tried, including negotiation with officials and supplying proof of the benefits of our care, we have hit a brick wall and it's not working. We are constantly out-financed and out-maneuvered by the local chapter of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) and the California Medical Association (CMA - the political lobbying group for Ca doctors). The main problem is that the Medical Board and Midwifery Task Force members don't feel any pressure to fulfill the aim of our licensing laws because of 2 things. They are:
1. They have the CMA helpfully supplying erroneous data about our profession which is then used as proof that the Board is only doing it's duty of protecting the public by limiting midwifery. In fact, the Board feels so empowered by the CMA's backing, they even ignored the recommendation of the Sunset Review Committee when it gave written notice that a definition of supervision and standards of care had to be passed by the Board and be in place by July 2003.
2. The lack of support voiced for Licensed Midwives by consumers, legislators and the medical establishment.

We've come to the conclusion that in order to change the current course of events regarding midwifery legislation, we MUST show our State govn. that there are consumers and citizens who care deeply about this issue - and, that the bottom-line is that our care is less costly with equally good or better outcomes for the 70% of the pregnant population having a normal, healthy pregnancy.

CALM is asking us to get as many letters mailed to First Lady Maria Shriver by August 19th, 2004. We need letters from consumers, care-providers, birth activists, students and anyone else interested in better healthcare for women.

What you can do:
First write your own letter and also send this to anyone else who can write a letter - your childbirth teacher, doula, your parents, siblings, coworkers, friends, or anyone else you know who wants to see women continue to have a range of options open to them during their childbearing years. .

Letters should be brief and to the point--remember that the First Lady's staff will most likely scan your letter and we want to make sure that our message comes across clearly. These should not be form letters, since such letters are ignored. We are trying to have a specific focus to the letters, to reinforce these goals while trying to make it clear to Sacramento that this issue matters to many, many individual citizens.

We want these letters to highlight the benefits of physiologically based care; namely that such care is the scientifically proven way to acheive the best outcomes for healthy women having normal pregnancies, and that such care is cheaper and has been proven to provide equal or superior outcomes. In contrast, the medical-model of care practiced by most obstetricians does not stand up scientifically, nor statistically - since maternal/infant mortality/morbidity rates (how many mothers and babies are injured or die) are much higher than they should be and operative deliveries (cesarean surgeries) are increasing every year.

By focussing on the benefits of 'physiologically-based' care we broaden Californians interest in our issue. By educating the public about obstetrics' non-scientific apporach to pregnancy and childbirth and it's dismal outcomes, we can put pressure on officials to make changes in the way they deal with those who provide this type of care.

In government, political agendas become important when officials know that there is a large group of constituents demanding that they act. It is absolutely vital that we answer this call now. There are only 137 midwives with active licenses living in California. Without your help we have no way of furthering this cause. CALM has asked each of us (LM's) to get 5 clients to write a letter. I have set a personal goal to get at least 100 of my friends, family and clients to write.

Every effort has been made to make this as easy as possible since we know how busy life can be. To get more info on the topics we want to focus on in this campaign, go to the website www.calmidwifery.org
Click here: CALM . You will find a letter-writing template with links to get additional templates. If you have more questions, e-mail me or Renee Anker, CALM Chair at contact@calmidwifery.org. Also, if you do send a letter PLEASE let me know about it. I'd love to know that my efforts are paying off.

Please, please, please help preserve midwifery. If we don't act now future generations may not be able to have the type of care we provide! Sincerely,
Lori Luyten, LM, CPM
Blessed Beginnings Midwifery
www.BlessedBeginnings.net

PS: I give my permission for you to forward this letter on.

HeatherB

08-04-2004, 01:28 AM

Christi, I hope you get some results soon! I know just waiting must feel interminable.

I've been thinking about foods during labor (and for after, I suppose, but that's a whole different deal, really), and have a few ideas of things I'd like to have on hand. Of course, if this baby is too far past when we're guessing s/he'll come, I may get totally sick of all the food! :LOL I've told DH that I want to have fresh watermelon, pears in juice, sharp cheddar cheese with crackers, and buttered toast. I think that's all I've come up with so far - things that are light, easy to eat, and quick to grab. I also like the idea of bagels and spreads for folks (not just me!) to eat.

I dunno if I'm hoping we have enough time to ensure this is all in the house - or not. ;)

plantmommy

08-04-2004, 05:31 AM

I had dh pick up frozen fruit for smoothies while in labor.

Robertsgirl

08-05-2004, 09:31 PM

Well we went to see the OB this afternoon. He didn't seem concerned at all about us delivering at home. He said that with marginal that our chances are probably 99% chance of being able to deliver with no problems. He said if we have problems come up that we are on record as a patient of his now and we just go to the hospital and he'll take over from there. Sounds easy enough.....almost too easy, but we'll take it!

So we get to start buying birth supplies. I'll take it easier the next 2-3 weeks to make sure we are full term and then we get to play the waiting game like anyone else in the world. YEA!!!!

My Mom's freaked out of course, but she is a med tech that does cross matching and blood banking and only ever sees the WORST cases of previa. Sigh....but she'll survive!! LOL!

So good news! Thank you for your prayers and thoughts. God has answered them.

sistermama

08-05-2004, 09:36 PM

:thumb Great news, Christi!!!!

HeatherB

08-05-2004, 11:40 PM

Christi, what wonderful news!!! Yay!! It really sounds like a fabulous set up now, with a supportive OB in case of the slim chance of problems. Enjoy the next few weeks and planning for your home birth! :D

plantmommy

08-06-2004, 05:34 AM

Christi, that is so wonderful! I'm thrilled for you!

chrissy

08-06-2004, 07:38 AM

Hurray Christi!!!!

fourlittlebirds

08-06-2004, 03:31 PM

Wow, sounds like your OB is a good guy! :) I'm so happy for you!

greenbeing

08-06-2004, 07:20 PM

Great news, Christi!!! I hope you have the homebirth of your dreams :love

greenbeing

08-11-2004, 10:38 PM

I had to go back to school today, and while we were breaking from a meeting, someone asked if I was still planning a hb. I told them yes, and this other teacher was in total shock and said she can't believe it and she's going to bite her tongue. Well, then she was telling another teacher about it. So, I asked her what she was thinking. She said she's glad her daughter didn't decide on that because the cord was wrapped around the arm and they had to do an emer. c-section. Then she asked what if something needed to be done right away. Then she went on about the epidural and how that helped her daughter. Thank goodness someone else chimed in and said she would never have that again because of the complications it caused. And I tried to give her some info as well about the cascading effects of interventions and how we've researched our decision and how it's best for us...But I still feel looked down upon, especially because many of the people I work with are not too open-minded :(
I feel good about my decision and proud of myself for doing what I believe is right, but it's so hard when others look down upon you and don't respect you, kwim?

venting away,
meredith

plantmommy

08-12-2004, 04:39 AM

:hug

I hate that. People need to learn to not say anything at all if they have nothing nice to say! Wouldn't she tell her students that?

I have learned that, for me, if it's going to be someone who's opinion bothers me, I'll feel them out on the subject before saying anything, or just not say anything.

If it's someone who's opinion doesn't matter to me, I'll tell them! :lol

Last week I told the salesman at the furniture store, since he asked where I was going to deliver. He was fascinated, and really into it! I thought that was funny, because I'd totally pegged him for gay, but he has a wife and three kids, (not that the two are necessarily mutually exclusive, but whatever). His kids were born at 33 weeks, then at 43 weeks, which was a csec, and the last was a scheduled csec. I wonder what was up with that? Anyway, this guy was so supportive it was funny!

Robertsgirl

08-12-2004, 09:03 AM

Ugh! I feel for you. I love shocking strangers at stores and stuff with the news, but avoid the subject with people I really know. I just don't have the energy to point out their rediculous arguments that make no sense whatsoever. The ones that really hurt and bother me our family members that treat us like dirt over the decision. We didn't tell anyone in our family about the previa specifically for that reason. :eyesroll

Anyone having their houses cleaned for the birth? I mean someone coming in to clean them. I had a break down last night after 5 hours are B&H that got my attention. I just don't feel like we are going to get everything done. Right now, our bathtub is so gross I know I couldn't labor in it if I wanted to, and we don't have the birth tub yet because my MW is backed up with Aug births right now. The babies room is full of storage stuff and will be until our furniture comes in, so if Spud came right now, I don't even have clothes washed for him. Anyway, I was thinking maybe I'd feel better if we had someone come in and clean the house. I've never done that before in my life so I wouldn't have a clue how it works, but it might help me alleviate some stress since I can't scrub the tub any more and Robert's plate is full for the moment.

banana girl

08-12-2004, 09:23 AM

Anyone having their houses cleaned for the birth? I mean someone coming in to clean them.

Actually my Mother in Law offered to come help with anything... and she means it, anything! I think i'm gonna take her up on it, cause I just can't do everything.... Work, clean house, do laundry, run errands, sew diapers.... and GROW a baby!!! I'm planning on calling her tonight to find out when she can come.

In the past I have "hired" students from the college to come clean my house, but ended up having to do so much directing and cleaning myself that it didn't seem to be that helpfull. My understanding is that most "professional" cleaning crews expect the place to be straightened up already... they scrub and vacuum.
I guess it all comes down to the fact that no one can do it as well as we can ourselves, and we can't do it right now!! Dang!

plantmommy

08-12-2004, 09:29 AM

I hired a housecleaner right before Isabelle was born, and ended up firing her because she just didn't clean well! I mean, she made the place look neater, but did nothing for those out of sight corners, etc. And she was highly recommended. I don't know whether I'm too fussy or what, but if I'm paying someone I expect the place to be CLEAN not just look tidy.

I've been on a cleaning rampage recently, and the entire house has been thoroughly scoured recently (except closets...). Although of course with three kids, it's not too tidy.

How about if you just filled the tub and added bleach or something, let it sit, and gave it a quick wipe?

CdnAloha

08-12-2004, 10:16 AM

I stopped telling people I am having a homebirth cause where I work it is mostly men and they all had to tell me how their wife/baby would have died if they hadn't gone to the hospital. It got to the point where I felt like everyone was/is hoping I will have a hard time and end up in the hospital just so they can feel justified in their belief that birthing is dangerous. Aaaaarrrrggghhh!

I am so happy about our decision and really looking forward to birthing at home, so I've just discarded all their stories and I don't bother talking about it anymore. That's what these boards are for...so I can share all the joys and excitement of this experience with people who understand. :love

As for cleaning, I do what I can when I can. I think it would be great to have a cleaning person, but yeah I am wary of having to interview them and then determine if they are doing a good job, etc. My MIL is coming for a week and I think she will do a lot, but either way her baby gift to us is some $, so we have discussed hiring a cleaning person for the post-partum period, so I don't have to worry about it. We shall see.

P.S. Your idea of filling the tub with bleach and letting it sit sounds smart. I read something similar on Flylady cause someone posted the link. It seems like it would save time and effort.

Caroline248

08-12-2004, 11:24 AM

Ugh! I feel for you. I love shocking strangers at stores and stuff with the news, but avoid the subject with people I really know. I just don't have the energy to point out their rediculous arguments that make no sense whatsoever. The ones that really hurt and bother me our family members that treat us like dirt over the decision. We didn't tell anyone in our family about the previa specifically for that reason. :eyesroll

.

I am not having a homebirth, I am too scared. I just wanted to say that I feel for you that are not being supported by your family. But, maybe it is fear talking from them. I know I would try to talk my sister out of a homebirth if she said she wanted one...but only from MY fears and concern about my sister (and any children she may have). Just to see from their side that they are not neccasarily picking on YOUR choices. I had complications at my last birth, and that is what put the fear in me.....

I am not saying that those family members that just role your reasons off and put you down for your choices are lookig for your best interst...maybe the MIL and mothers are just scared for you and your babies....

I am really just trying to make you all feel better and more supportive..sorry if this is a big ramble. I would LIKE to have a homebirth ( I was even contemplating going for an "accidental" one) but my fears got in the way the closer we get to the date. Sometimes those fears are overpowering, and our loved ones react to that...

I am praying for all of us that we have wonderful births...wherever they end up being!!!! AND supportive family!!
Caroline

fourlittlebirds

08-12-2004, 01:11 PM

Well, by saying something about it, the nay-sayers are also implying that they think I am possibly making this choice naively and irresponsibly. And frankly, I am just too proud and full of myself not to be a little bit offended. ;) But you're right that it is good to keep in mind that they are not (in most cases probably) trying to be mean or difficult, they are coming from a place of caring. That is in fact what keeps me from getting mad about it, and try to be compassionate instead and just give them some information. At that point, it's okay with me if they still are uncomfortable with it as long as they have made a real effort to hear me and understand, and afterwards leave me the heck alone and just respect that it's my decision which I am adult and intelligent enough to make. But if people were completely closed off to that and just wanted to spew fear and anger at me, that would be the end of it! Thankfully the people I've run into have all been either of the first sort, or just polite enough not to push it.

chrissy

08-12-2004, 01:17 PM

I hear you guys and I am so so so extremely grateful that we have this board to get support and encouragement as well as to vent. I'm like a lot of you guys in that I love telling strangers but am more wary with people I'm close to. Actually that's not true, I am very happy to tell the people I"m closest with and I've gotten almost exclusively positive responses from them (with the exception of my MIL, but even she isn't too bad) it's the in between people who are the hardest to deal with. I feel like people who kind of know but don't know me that well are the ones most likely to judge me. Anybody who says anything negative to my face will get a simple reply such as "I actually feel much safer at home than in a hospital." And then if they inquire further I will happily discuss it with them. I guess the thing that really bothers me about these "well meaning" people is that for them to respond to my choice negatively or condescendingly means that they don't respect ME. To think that I would not have thought this choice out and made the choice that I believe (and the evidence supports) is the safest possible for myself and my child implies that they don't think very highly of me. Phew.... Vent over.

As for cleaning, I have been doing it in bursts when I have the energy because I can't relax in a dirty house. Trouble is, I'm not doing a very good job. It doesn't help that we have 2 dogs to help dirty things up. I fully plan on hiring someone to clean the house at least once (and maybe twice) before the baby is due. Maybe once or twice afterwards too. We don't really have the extra money but it's worth a little credit card debt to me.

Meredith, I hope the rest of back-to-school time is not so stressful or difficult for you. Make sure to take time off if you need it, okay?

I am only a few days over 33 weeks and my major nesting urges are beginning. I all the sudden feel like there is so much to do and so little time. I haven't ordered my birth kit (though I did get the fishy pool), haven't even written a list of all the other stuff I want to have around. I know we have plenty of baby clothes but I haven't gotten them down from the attic. Same with diapers, we have enough but I haven't washed or prepped any of them. I think a list-writing is in order. That will make me feel more organized. But that will have to wait until later because now, I need a nap.

Love,